Bliss Week: Yield and Surrender (Interview With Loose Women Series) (2 page)

I: Do you remember what he said?

S: I remember exactly what he said.

[Silence]

I: You're not going to tell me?

S: Um, could you like look down at your papers or
something when I tell you? Don't look at me.

I: Absolutely.

S: He said, "Slut, you have a pretty face. That
face is too pretty to face fuck. But since you're a slut I'm gonna do it. I'm
gonna fuck your pretty little mouth, slut."

I: Jesus. Anything else?

S: He said he was gonna fuck me with the taste of
his cum in my mouth.

I: Anything else?

S: He asked if I knew his name. When I said no he
said, "That's right, you're about to fuck a guy who's name you don't
know."

I: Anything else?

S: He asked if I had a boyfriend. I said yes.

I: What did he say to that?

S: He asked if my boyfriend knew his girl was a
slut. I shook my head. He said, "I bet he makes love to you. I'm going to
fuck you like a little whore."

I: Was this turning you on? What was your mind-set?

S: I had already decided I was going through with
it, so in a way it had already happened. Does that make sense? I don't think it
does. Sorry. Anyway, yes, it turned me on. At the time it was unexpected how
much it turned me on. It caught me by surprise, my arousal, I mean. But at the
same time, I really hated that it was turning me on.

I: What happened next?

S: He let go of me and told me to go to the door and
either leave or lock it and come back.

I: And you went and locked the door?

S: Yes.

I: Did you think about leaving instead?

S: Yes, I stood at the door for a second. But I
locked it and went back to him. When I was back facing him again, we looked
into each other's eyes for a few seconds. And then he told me to kiss him. And
I did.

I: How was it?

S: I gave him a nice, tender kiss. It was strange
kissing him like that after he'd called me a slut like 75 times in the last ten
minutes. It upset a little how unfair it, how he didn’t deserve it.

I: And then what happened?

S: He told me to take off my top. So I took off the
"Slut" shirt and stood there in just my little white shorts. He
looked at me for a little and said, "You're way too hot to be doing this."

I: I have to say I agree with him on that.

S: Um, thanks, I guess.

I: I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to comment. That was
unprofessional. Go on.

S: He grabbed my face and kissed me hard. He was
pushing me back as he kissed me, so I ended up with my back against the wall.
And then he went for my breasts, grabbed them, kissed them, sucked on them.

I: How did that feel?

S: That always feels good. I remember I let out a
moan and then I ran my hands through his hair when he was down at my breasts.
Which was again weird, being affectionate towards him.

I: What happened then?

S: He told me to get on my knees and put my hands
behind my back.

I; And you did?

S: I hesitated for a second and he said, "Slut,
get on your knees like a good little whore or leave." And I got on my
knees and put my hands behind my back.

I: And then?

[Silence}

I: Do you want me to not look at you again?

S: Yes, please.

I: No problem.

S: He took off his shirt, unzipped his jeans, and
took out his cock. I was—

I: What was it like?

S: His cock?

I: Yes.

S: Bigger that I expected. His body wasn't anything
special. He was actually a little overweight. But his cock was a good size.

I: Bigger than your boyfriend's at the time?

S: Yes. My boyfriend had a better body than him. But
as far as cock size, yea this guy's was both longer and thicker.

I: Okay, go on.

S: I was ready to give him a blowjob, but instead he
started rubbing his cock over and around my face. He said something like,
"I bet your boyfriend kisses your pretty little face all the time. If he
could see you know." And then he pushed against my lips with his cock and
told me to kiss it. So I gave it a peck. Then he said, "Slut, I meant kiss
every square inch of my cock." It was hard to do it with my hands behind
my back. I kissed up and down his shaft, around the head. Kissing the underside
was tricky; I had to use my face to lift it up first and get in position and
then give the kisses.

I; How did that feel?

S: Again I didn't like how much this being so
submissive and tender to him while he was being mean turned me on. I had no
experience with it. And feeling his cock against my lips gave me an intense
urge to put it in my mouth. When I got to the head again I opened and took him
in. I slowly moved in and put more of him in my mouth until a large part of it
was in there. I just took a moment to savor him in my mouth.

I: And then you started with the blowjob?

S: Yes. A nice soft blowjob. But then I gave a
little moan and he started talking and—-

I: What did he say?

S: More of the same type of things he'd been saying.
He said, "I bet your parents are so proud of you. If they could see you
now on your knees in front of me." He called me a whore and a slut again a
few times. He worked himself up saying this stuff and became inpatient with my
blowjob I guess. He grabbed my head with both hands and held it still and
pumped his cock in and out of my mouth. Face-fucking, as he called it. Then he
alternated by keeping his cock in one place and forcing my head back and forth.

I: Had you ever done that before?

S: No. Not even close. A few times he put his cock
all the way in until my nose was touching his abdomen and held it there.

I: Were your hands still behind your back during all
this?

S: Yes. This lasted a few minutes. And then he
pulled out of my mouth, grabbed me by the arm and led me to the bed. He laid me
on my back with my head hanging backward off the edge and he stood over me and
put his cock in my mouth. 

I: That's a very submissive and vulnerable position
to be in. Did you ever think this was going too far?

S: After it was all over I felt guilty and ashamed
that I let a guy do that to me. But at the time I was very aroused, aroused against
my own will.

I: Okay. Go on.

S: So he fucked my mouth like that for a while. It
was easier for him to go deeper in like that. I could feel his cock actually push
open my throat and bend slightly down into it. He would reach down and grab and
squeeze my breasts while he was pumping. And then it happened...

I: What?

S: I had an orgasm. It was the first time ever that
I had an orgasm with no actual stimulation down there. I could feel myself
getting wetter, but it was a surprise when the orgasm actually came.

I: Did he notice you have an orgasm?

S: I'm still not sure. He was distracted. I moaned
some with his cock still in my mouth, which might have pushed him over. He
stopped fucking my mouth, leaned forward a little and rested a hand on each of
my breasts and I felt a warmth fill my mouth and realized he was coming. I
could feel his cock pulse as it filled my mouth with cum. He told me to swallow
it. So—-

I: What were his exact words?

S: He said, "Swallow my cum, slut."

I: And did you?

S: It was hard to do it in that position, with my
head upside down. And he wouldn't take his cock out of my mouth. I swallowed
down some of it, most of it ran from the side of my mouth and down my face.

I: And then what?

S: He got on the bed and unbuttoned my shorts and
pulled them to my knees.

I: Did he ask permission before he did that?

S: No. That bothered me a little as well. I mean, I
would have taken them off if he would have asked me to, but the fact that he
granted himself access to my vagina made me doubt if I were still in some
control. And I was a little scared to the test to see if it was consensual or
not.

I: I'm not sure what you mean by that. The test?

S: I mean so far everything was consensual. I had
decided to go with it. But you can test whether it's actually consensual or not
by just asking him to stop. And then when he stops, he passes the test and you
can tell him to keep going. Whether he stopped or not, I would have eventually
gotten fucked the same way, but there’s a mental difference. One's fun, the
other can be traumatic. So I didn't want to do the test. I thought it's better
to not know whether it's consensual or not than to be sure and have the answer
you don't want.

I: I see. What happened next?

S: He collapsed next to me and told me to
masturbate.

I: What were his—-

S: His exact words? He said, "Touch yourself,
slut." So I started masturbating while he stroked himself next to me
trying to get an erection again. He made a few comments about me touching
myself with his cum on my face. He made a comment about how much he likes
"shaved pussies." He occasionally leaned toward me and sucked on my
breasts.

I: Did you give yourself an orgasm?

S: I was right on the verge of it, but he rolled on
top of me and pinned both my hands over my head. I had an orgasm as soon he
penetrated me, on the first stroke, which I bet made him feel like a god, but
it was just good timing. It felt amazing though. The first stroke always feels
the best and to have it right when you're about to have an orgasm...my god. And
then he kept fucking me while I was having the orgasm, which kept it going for
a bit.

I: So this was classic missionary sex?

S: Yes. As soon as he was inside me his tone changed
for little while, he became tender. While I was having the orgasm and my head
was tilted back he softly kissed my neck. And then after the orgasm, while
still fucking me, he whispered in my ear that I was the best looking girl he’s
ever been with. We looked in each other's eyes for a few seconds and then we
kissed passionately.

I: Seems like the tone really changed.

S: Yes. But then it changed again just like that
after the kiss. He said he could taste his cum in my mouth. I looked away for a
second and he said, "Look me in the eye while I fuck you, slut." So I
looked him in the eye again and he grabbed my throat with one hand;  he could
almost wrap his whole hand around my neck.

I: That's another very vulnerable position to be in.

S: It is. I was a little surprised myself that I
instinctively stretched my neck to accommodate him. I was surprised with how
much it turned me on. I was on the verge of another orgasm after a couple of
minutes of this. When it came I moaned loudly against my will and my back
arched. He took his hand off my neck, turned my head to the side so he could
only see my profile and put his hand on the side of my face, the whole length
and height of it. He pushed down and kept fucking me, one side of my face
buried into the mattress. My orgasm was almost subsiding when he pulled out of
me very suddenly, pulled me off the bed and told me to get on my knees again. I
did so and he stood over my, grabbed my hair to pull me close, moaned loudly, and
came on my face.

I: How did that feel?

S: Just to be on my knees in front of him was
degrading enough, but then having him ejaculate on me, it felt like an
unwarranted insult, a mean insult, but at the same time it completely turned me.
It turned me on to an extent that my brain was turned off And that confused me.

I: What happened next?

S: He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the bathroom,
and stood behind me in front of the mirror. He grabbed my hair and pushed my
head forward toward the mirror and said, "Look at yourself, slut." 

Even after everything I'd just done, seeing my body
naked in front of a man, a stranger, was startling. My nakedness seemed so much
more blatant when I saw my full reflection, with him behind me with a fist-full
of my hair. And then I looked at my face and had to force myself not to gasp.
It was covered with the semen of this man who I had met not even an hour
earlier. I stared at the pool of cum on my right cheek that was covering the
blush I had applied so carefully earlier in the evening and felt so...indecent.
And dirty. I realized how thoroughly used I had been and it again confused me
why that thought sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine.

I: Did he say anything else?

S: No. After a while he moved closer, grabbed my
hips, pushed me forward so that my hands were flat against the mirror, and
started to fuck me again. And I watched myself get fucked. I don't know if it's
extreme vanity or self-hatred that every time I masturbate now that is the
image that makes me cum: the image of myself in the mirror, semen covering my
face, the guy behind me fucking me so that a hard slapping sound is heard at
the peak of every penetration, him reaching around to grab my breasts with both
hands for leverage.