Blood and Loss (Cassandra Myles Witch Series) (14 page)

Chapter 16

“Sweets, please wake up. You’re scaring me.”

I opened my eyes. The light in the room was
blissfully dim, with only one small lantern beside the bed. Even that sent a searing pain through my skull. I flung my arm over my eyes. “Declan, what have you done?”

“I rescued you from that vampire.”

Rescued, kidnapped, whatever. “Where are we?”

“
You’re in Northern Alberta.”

I shot up in bed and immediately regretted it.
The pain in my head was sharp and hot. I fell back and closed my eyes, trying not to throw-up. Taking slow deep breaths, I managed to calm my stomach down and the blinding pain eventually calmed to a dull ache. “How long have I been out?”

“You have only been out for an
hour. I used a little fae magic to get you here, but I don’t think it agreed with you. I brought you some water and aspirin.”

When I was able to sit up enough
, I took them and downed them both. The water made me feel immediately better. With the pain gone, I realized how cold I was. There was a very good reason for that. I was only wearing my bra and thong. “Did you get a good look while I slept?” The bastard could have at least thrown a blanket over me.

“So the vampire gets to see you naked and I don’t.”
His voice was rough, almost like a growl.

“What I allow Lucius to do is none of your business.”
I had to remain calm and think this through. I was very far from home and Declan might be my only ally. He wasn’t going to make it easy for me.

The h
eat of his skin burned my flesh when he laid his hand on my bare stomach “I hate thinking of his dead hands on your beautiful skin, to think of him inside you.” He was a ball of thinly veiled rage. Part of me wanted him to think I had sex with Lucius. It would serve him right. The smart part of me knew I had to remain on his good side until I could get help.

“I don’t
owe you an explanation, but Lucius and I never had sex. He only said that to get you to turn.”

He relaxed a little
, relieved I hadn’t stooped quite as low as he thought. If only he knew how badly I had wanted to. “What about last night?”

“Last night was interrupted. Lucius was being a gentleman. He said he
doesn’t have sex with drunk girls. I would have, though. I wanted to. I was all alone on the night I finally got my magic back. Lucius tried to make it special for me.”

He had the decency to look away.
“I wanted more than anything to be there the day that happened.” He crawled on the bed and laid his head on my stomach. “I know you hate me, sweets, but I agreed to do this before I knew you.”

“What did you
do, besides kidnap me? You were asked to watch me and pretend to care about me, to what end?” The hurt I thought I had swallowed was coming back.

“I was asked to watch you and to find out when you got your magic back.
Keep track of you and bring you here when the
geis
was removed. I tried to stick to just that. I moved in and you were this super sexy girl who didn’t know it. You were tough, taking no shit, but you were also vulnerable and easily hurt. You are so smart it’s irritating sometimes and competitive doesn’t even begin to describe you. You went through so much, but you weren’t bitter; you loved life. I loved you from day one. I tried not to, but it didn’t change why I came in the first place. The pack comes first.”

“I thought I loved you too, but I didn’t even know what species you were. You knew everything about me and I only knew lies.” Remaining calm was off the table.

Moving up my body
, he nuzzled into my neck and placed one of his legs over mine. My hormones wanted me to turn over and jump his bones, but my head and heart were in agreement. If he became any friskier, I was going to knee him in the family jewels. “It killed me every day to be so close to you and not be able to touch you the way I wanted. The way I knew you wanted me to. If I did, then my wolf would want to claim you too. Wolves mate for life, Cass. I couldn’t do that to us.”

“Heaven forbid you tell me the truth.” His hot hand rubbed over my stomach, making it very hard to concentrate.

“You’
re making it sound so cut and dry. I wanted to, but I couldn’t risk it. This is bigger than my feelings, no matter how strong they are.”

“I may have understood. I loved you
, Declan. If you would have come to me and told me instead of finding out the way I did. I felt like a fool. A stupid, naïve fool.”

“
We need you to break the seals, Cass. The fae need you to live.”

“
So this is really all about the fae. You lied to me for five years for a people who have no regard for humans. No way, I am not going to throw my people under the bus so the weres can look like heroes for the fae.”

“I
only ask that you talk to the fae prince before you make your final decision.”

I didn’t say anything. He kissed my neck
, turning my head. His lips came down on mine, his tongue searching my mouth. I pushed him away. “Do you really think they will just let me go if I decide not to help?”

“They promised me.”

“You are either stupid or naive. You just signed my death warrant. They will torture me until I do what they want.”

“I would never let that happen.”

“Says the man who kidnapped me instead of trusting me with the truth.” I was now yelling and I felt fully justified.

“It
was me taking you or my father. As much as you hate me right now, trust me, I am the better option.”

“I want to call Quintus
or Lucius; they are probably worried sick.”

He stiffened. Anger radiated off his body.
“I can’t allow that.”

“So I am a prisoner.” I hated this.

“Yes. I don’t want you to be. I want you to be here with me because you want to be.”

“
Yeah! Well, give me a few more days, maybe Stockholm syndrome will kick in.” When I was upset, sarcasm was my friend.

“I
wouldn’t change it if I could. You’d just end up hating me sooner. I had to do it this way.”

“I
do hate what you did and I hate the fact that a person I love is keeping me here against my will.”

His mouth was on my neck again
, just below my ear. “Please don’t hate me, sweets. I never wanted to hurt you. I had no choice. You don’t understand.”

“I don’t understand, because you didn’t respect me enough to explain it to me.”

“Fuck, I want you so bad, being this close to you.” His touch sent a bolt of electricity to my core. “For five years, I had to touch you as a friend. Now we are free to do what we have wanted for so long.”

“I want to be free to go home.”

He looked at me like I had hit him. “I know. I wish I could let you go. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, sweets.”

“I had no choice
; you had all the control and don’t call me ‘sweets.’ Only my roommate can call me that, not my kidnapper. ”

“Please” He
snuggled into me, stroking my hair, the heat of his body slowly chasing away the chill. I stayed as stiff and stoic as I could for as long as I could. Eventually exhaustion won out and I started to drift off, the way I had wanted to sleep for the past five years, with Declan’s arms wrapped around me. I sent a silent prayer that he loved me enough to keep me alive until help could arrive.

Chapter 17

I was alone in the bed when I woke up.
A t-shirt lay at the end. I put it on and followed the smell of food. He was in the kitchen, making breakfast. It smelled amazing and my stomach growled in approval. If he thought some bacon was going to make me forgive what he had done, then he was crazy.

He turned to me with a cup of coffee in hand. “Extra strong
, just the way you like it.”

I took the
coffee, but I wasn’t going to enjoy it. “Breakfast and coffee isn’t going to make me forgive you, Declan.”

“I know.
I will make it up to you though, whatever it takes, swe…Cassandra. I mean it. I love you and us being together is worth doing anything.”

“
Then let me go.”

“Tha
t is the one thing I can’t do.”

“So am I just supposed to stay here in this cabin with you and play the dutiful mate? Have a litter of puppies? Cook and clean? Service your every need?”

Declan’s eyes changed from brown to amber and his mouth formed into a snarl. A low growl came from his chest. He looked like he did just before he changed in my kitchen
. I had to learn fast that this wasn’t the Declan I knew. Angering the beast could get me killed. I didn’t have Lucius to save me anymore. “You have to learn that I am no longer ‘sweet Declan.’ I am a wolf, an alpha, and that means you should watch what you say.”

He passed me a plate of food and I couldn’t even think of eating it.
My heart was pounding in my chest. I squeezed back tears. I was alone in this and I had to figure out how to survive. My old roommate was gone.

“Don
’t cry, sweets. I would never hurt you on purpose, but it is getting close to the full moon and I slept next to you all night, not being able to release. It makes my beast harder to control.”

“So I should just let you rape me so you will be nice again
?”

Declan
was a blur of movement and I was against the wall with him pressed against me. His lips almost touched mine. I had a big mouth and I clearly didn’t know how to shut it to save my own skin.

“I will have you
, Cassandra, and it won’t be by force. You will beg me to take you.” He ground himself into me, his mouth on mine. He nibbled all along my lip across to my ear. “You will be so wet and hungry for me, you won’t be able to help yourself. Then, when you give in to what you know you need, I will give it to you, over and over, until you beg me to stop because you can’t stand anymore pleasure.”

I couldn’t catch my breath
. He continued to bite and kiss my neck. I arched into him. He took my face and kissed me hard. It was what I had wanted for so long, but not like this. This Declan was a stranger. He broke off and gave me a feral smile. “Go have your shower, sweets. I don’t want my father to smell your need.”

He left me feeling cold and ashamed. I did want him. I couldn’t hide that, but I knew he didn’t deserve it. I
would go along with the game as long as I was here by myself, but I was going to get out of here at the first opportunity.

The wolf compound was made up of an enormous main lodge and sixty or seventy cabins in various sizes. The scenery was majestic. The light dusting of snow contrasted with the greenery of the pine trees. It was truly beautiful, but it also meant that I didn’t have much hope of escape. We were in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere.

Running away on my own was not an option. I had no sense of direction and would likely end up as wolf kibble before I made it out of the compound.
I would hear this prince out and hopefully, somehow Quintus would find me. I needed time to work on Declan. Five years of friendship had to count for something.

He held my hand and pulled me up the stairs.
“Ready?”

I
shook my head, but we entered anyway. The main doors opened up onto a great room. There couldn’t be any other name for it. The size was immense; the ceiling was two stories high. It was all dark wood and stone. The fireplace was floor to ceiling and you could park a small car in the hearth. There were leather sofas and chairs arranged in nooks all over the room. Declan led me down a short hall to a large oak door. What was on the other side was a miniature of the bigger room except for the large desk where Declan’s father sat.

He was a carbon copy of his son except for a few extra wrinkles and gray hair. He was dressed in
a plaid lumberjack button shirt and jeans. Close to him, but off to the right, sat a very muscular scruffy man. He had a scar that ran down the left side of his face from his forehead to his chin. His brown eyes glared at me. I was not the popular girl in the room.

It wasn’t until I tore my eyes away
from the wolves that I saw the fae. It was magical. Everything else in the room dropped away. His beauty lulled me into a trance. His shoulder-length silver hair sparkled in the firelight as he rose. I had the overwhelming urge to run my fingers through it.

When standing
, he had to be almost seven feet tall. His simple clothes hugged his long, lean body. He had none of the awkwardness most extremely tall people have. He glided to me as I walked to meet him. I wanted it to be just us in the room. I wanted to please him. I looked down at myself, feeling ashamed that I had dressed so carelessly to meet such a great man.

“Cassandra, I am Prince Na’min of the Seelie Court. I am most honored to meet you.” He gave a slight bow and took my hand in his. A sharp shock went through my body and it broke the spell.

Declan was growling and being held back by his father
and the other wolf. “Na’min, will you back away from Ms. Myles? It is very close to the full moon and he hasn’t yet claimed her for his mate. It makes it harder for him to control his wolf.”

Na’min sat back down. I backed away and sat in a chair as far from the prince as possible. “I apologize to both of you. I did not know Cassandra was his mate. Cassandra
, I apologize to you for the shock. The wolves do not react that way to me and it has been a very long time since I have interacted with humans. I will make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“I’m fine. It was like you were the only person in the room. What happened?”

“I have a natural glamour, not unlike a vampire. The difference is that a vampire has to use his glamou
r
consciously and I haveto tr
y
consciously to dampen mine. I have adjusted how you see me. It will not happen again.” I had the feeling he was secretly happy he had affected me so strongly.

Declan was standing on his own. He lifted me up and sat me back on his lap. It took all my strength not to tell him to go to hell. He was treating me like a bone and he wasn’t up to sharing. I felt ridiculous sitting on his lap.
How was I supposed to have a serious conversation when I looked like a little girl sitting on Daddy’s lap?

“Cass
, this is my father, the alpha of our pack, Patrick Langois, and his second, Peter MacDonnell.”

I just nodded. Seriously
, was I supposed to shake hands and say “happy to meet you”?

“Na’min
, I am sure you’re aware that I have been brought here against my will. That alone is a strike against getting my help. I don’t want to waste your time with chit chat, so if we could get right to the point, I would appreciate it.”

“I to
o have no wish to waste time. I am sorry that you were brought here against your will, but my people are in grave danger. We have been in grave danger for a long time. They are dying. So while getting you here against your will is not exactly ideal, you are alive and well. My people are not.”

Did he just make me feel guilty for being mad over being kidnapped? He was good. I’d have to be on my toes if I had any chance of being objective.

“Do you know anything about my world, Cassandra?” I shook my head “no.”

“
I hope you will indulge me. I need you to allow me the time to get my whole story out. I will try and keep it brief, but since the lives of my people hinges on it I feel I have to do them justice.” He took a deep breath.

“When we were sealed in 2000 years ago
, my world was lush and rich. Picture fields of wheat waving to the sky. We had flowers growing everywhere and trees so old that their trunks were often used as homes for the lesser fae. We had the ripest, tastiest fruit dripping from every tree, begging to be picked and eaten. We had grass so lush and soft growing under our feet that shoes were not necessary.” Tears rolled down his cheeks. They looked like they had glitter in them and were mildly luminescent.

With a
sheepish look, he took his hands and wiped them away. “Forgive me. Tears are a new thing for me. Even if I only celebrate my millennial birthdays, I would still have celebrated more than you. I have only known tears for the last few hundred years. They still surprise me when they come on.”

I was to
o engrossed in Na’min’s story to notice a young girl come in with tea. She served the fae first. I refused anything.

“My people were strong and vital. They had never known illness. We could die, though not from old age. Some through accidents, some through war, but this was very rare. So we never felt vulnerable. Grief was not something we were familiar with. It made us arrogant yes, but also blind. If you know death can happen
, you look out for it, avoid it, and take precautions. When you feel invulnerable, then even when it is right in your face, you won’t see it until it is too late.

“
It didn’t happen right away. We were angered at being cut off from our playground, of course, but our lives remained the same other than that. Then, one day, I was walking in the Queen’s garden. Her roses come in every shade of every color and the smell was delicate and calming. It was my favorite place to think. I sat on a stone bench and in front of me was one of my favorites. It was a blue rose, the color of the coldest waters. The sweet smell was touched with a hint of brine. I think I loved it because it reminded me of this world. On the ground was a puddle of brown rotten petals. Just from one rose, but the Queen’s roses do not die, or at least that was the case up until that point. I was so upset by this, I went straight to the Queen with the petals. She brushed it off as just an anomaly, nothing to worry about. I let myself be placated. It is easy to believe want we want to be true.

“It wasn’t long before other plants were being affected. Trees started to lose their leaves and fruit started to rot on the vine. Lush lawns had brown patches and even our sacred animals
started to disappear from the forest. It wasn’t something that happened overnight, but over hundreds of years. Fae aren’t made to worry. We have always existed and to picture a time when we would not be seemed too far-fetched. Eventually, it wasn’t just our land that was ill, but we started to feel the effects as well.

“It was the children who suffered first. Fae don’t often have children. We are not the most fertile
beings. It is just one of those things. I suppose we don’t have the need to repopulate as often because of how long we live. When one of us does have a child, the celebrations are endless. When a child is born, the mother gives a part of her magical essence to the infant. It is necessary until the child is old enough to draw his or her own essence from the land. Children need more because they are new and they are growing.

“
Now I will tell you
my
story, but please keep in mind that my story is no different than hundreds of other fae. My wife and I discovered that we were expecting. At this point, there had been a few illnesses amongst the children. I think one infant had died very young, but in true fae fashion, we were still in denial. It was a weakness in those parents or they were not of the right stock. Those things could never happen to us. So we were in bliss. I cared very much for my wife. Fae don’t marry for love, but to increase one’s status or wealth. Our marriage was one of those, but she was truly a good woman and beautiful beyond measure.

“I knew we would have a healthy
baby and I was right. Illeanna was a perfect baby, her hair the color of spun gold, her eyes violet, and she had the sweetest disposition. I know we all think those things of our children, but it doesn’t make it any less true. She grew into a lovely little girl, always quick to laugh. This was her mother, through and through. By this time, more children were getting ill and now everyone knew someone who had lost a child. I felt lucky. I no longer felt invincible. I knew too many good families who had lost children. I can still feel her tiny hand twined in mine as we would took our walks through the forest. I had taken it upon myself to catalogue our world’s demise. Each day, I would take Illeanna to the woods or a field and record one less miracle in our fair land. Illeanna was quick as a whip and she would notice the smallest change.”

“I would like to blame my work for not noticing
Anya’s poor health. I cannot. I was in love with my daughter and obsessed with my work. The fae world may have been dying, but my world was still perfect. To even contemplate my wife could be sick was unthinkable. She was, though, very ill, and one day I came home early from my cataloguing to find my wife in bed and unresponsive. Illeanna was beside herself. By the next morning, she had woken, but she was unable to get out of bed. She was crying and telling me she was sorry she wasn’t strong enough. At first, I thought she was apologizing for being unwell, but it was much worse than that.