Authors: Tamara Rose Blodgett
Julia
Julia surveys the landscape.
The trees reach toward the small lake as if asking forgiveness. There's no outward sign that the dead, put there by the fey, line the shores.
Only the most sensitive shifters or a Singer Tracker would catch the scent of so many who'd perished.
But the memory will live on forever in her mind.
Scott slides his arm around her, and Julia's body eases. Their connection goes slack once touch is established.
“I guess it's time to get serious and hunt everyone down.”
“I think things are plenty serious enough,” Scott comments, a crooked smile on his face.
Julia barely nods. There's something she has to do first. She places the flat of her palm on Scott’s broad chest. His dark serious eyes hold hers. “I need to see where Jason is.”
Scott pulls her close. “I wasn't a fan of Caldwell. And you can feel that, Julia. I can't hide it. But like I said, I appreciate what he did. What he sacrificed for us.”
Julia squeezes her eyes closed. “He
never
got a chance, Scott. We had a different path in Alaska. Then those
things
got ahold of us and never let go. They killed Kevin, ruined my life, screwed up Cyn's—hell, it's been nothing but a mess ever since.”
“Not everything's a mess, Julia.”
She opens her eyes, looking deeply into his. “I don't mean I don't love you—that we're not meant to be. I always got that on some level from the moment our hands touched. It's just that so many people have been sacrificed along the way. That's what I object to.”
Scott traces a thumb over her lip lightly. “I know,” he says softly, bending to kiss the tip of her nose.
“Ready?” Cyn asks from behind them.
They part, and Julia lets her fingertips trail across his muscular chest.
He grabs her hand at the last moment and squeezes her fingers. “I'll be around.”
“Duh,” Cyn says, winking. “Being all Combatant and that.”
Julia walks with Cyn toward the lake. “He's not with—” Julia can't finish, hoping that he's not part of the mass grave she allowed.
“Nope,” Cyn looks up quickly, kicking a rock with the toe of her bright-red Converse tennis shoe. “He's in his own spot.”
“Good.” Julia releases a shaking breath.
The rest of the short hike is made in silence—not the silence that's awkward and weighty, but the comfortable silence between longtime friends.
“This is exhausting,” Cyn finally says as they reach the border of conifer trees. Feathery hemlock branches sweep toward them.
Rich western red cedar fills her nose, and Julia breathes deeply, fortifying herself for what's to come.
“Don't think so hard,” she says softly.
“Sorry, I forget you're getting a bunch of feedback.” Cyn looks up toward the sky. Fluffy cotton ball clouds drift by, obscuring the sun. “I just can't help but miss his cantankerous ass.”
“It's not that,” Julia says, following Cyn as she begins to weave through the branches, holding them aside for Julia. “It's the past that we miss.”
“This new life,” Cyn says, shaking her head, “I mean—what the hell? I'm a Were girl and a Singer Healer.” She gives a defeated little shrug.
Julia knows exactly how she feels.
She pops a palm up, narrowing her sights on Cyn. “Don't even get started. I can feel your regret and loneliness for what was. And I can't do it, Cyn. I have to let go of this stuff. No matter how much we want what we had, it'll never be our ʻnormalʼ again. Kev is dead.” Julia looks to a point ahead of them, and Cyn follows her gaze. “Jason is dead. It's over.”
“I know,” Cyn says, tucking her hair behind her ear.
Julia checks out her multi-colored locks and laughs. “Nice roots.”
“Fuck off,” Cyn says, but she's smiling. “Like these guys have a good box of bleach in this place?” She tweaks a strand of dirty-blond hair with platinum ends. “Pfft!”
Julia shakes her head, and they smile at each other. Some things are the same, and for that, Julia's relieved.
*
Julia sucks in a harsh breath. “Wow.” She smiles back at Cyn, who's leaning against a tree trunk, her leg bent at the knee. The sneaker is a bright spot of color against all the furrowed brown.
The grave is fresh.
Grief washes over her, and Julia sinks to her knees. Recently churned dirt covers a nine-foot plot. The dirt is deep brown, like crushed toast. Julia dips her fingers in and runs the clumpy dirt through her fingers. When she can finally tear her eyes away, her gaze travels to the head, to a small wooden plaque carved simply with Jason's first and last name.
Underneath that it says
Singe
r
in elegant script.
Cyn's hand falls on Julia's shoulder, and she grips it like a lifeline.
“Ya know, if I weren't a Were girl, you'd have busted my fingers.”
Julia nods.
But she's not. Cyn is supernatural. Like Julia. Like everyone in this new life.
“Help me, Cyn.”
Cyn squats beside her. Julia takes off a necklace she's been wearing for a long time. She pulls the thread of gold through the perfect circle of a wedding band she never wore.
Tears form in the corners of Cyn's eyes. “God, this sucks.”
“Yeah,” Julia agrees. She studies the temporary plaque. “I don't want to forget what he was to me.”
Cyn nods. The silence stretches for more than a minute. “Did anyone mention it'll be stone?” She points at the piece of wood.
Julia nods.
She tips her head back, looking up at the tops of the trees. Dappled light strikes the raw dirt all around Julia, turning it to milk chocolate. But nothing about this death is sweet. Tricks of light won't take away the sting. It won't bring him back.
Nothing can right the wrong of the void left by Jason's absence.
Julia loosens her hand around the ring that warms the inside of her palm. She stares at the circle of gold, and re-clasping the necklace, she loops it around a portion of the irregular border of wood. The fine gold chain catches, and the wedding band dangles, flipping back and forth.
The circle of the band sways, falling exactly over the
O
of his name.
Julia's lip quivers. “I'm so sorry, Jason.”
Cyn pulls her off the grave, wrapping her arms around her best friend. “It's gonna be okay, Jules.”
In that moment, Julia feels like it'll never be okay again.
*
Scott gives Julia a sympathetic look as she and Cyn exit the forest. He stands from his perch on one of the boulders that appear to grow right out of the ground, separating lake and woods.
“What?” Julia asks, blotting her tears with her shirt sleeve.
“I know the timing's not good, baby…”
“It's never good when the endearments start cropping up,” Cyn remarks dryly.
“Anyone ever told you you're a pain in the ass?” Scott says, frowning.
“Sure.” Cyn shrugs.
“Guys,” Julia says.
Cyn crosses her arms. “Fine.”
“Everyone knows about us being together now.”
Cyn gives her a look of pure satisfaction then turns to Scott. “Way to drop the bomb, stud-meld.”
Julia's face heats.
Scott scowls at Cyn.
“Did you tell people, Scott?” Julia asks, instantly remembering every kiss, lick, suck, and everything else—right after visiting Jason's grave.
Julia covers her face as shame pours through her like acid.
Scott strides to her.
Julia feels his thoughts, emotions—and love. “Oh,” she says softly.
Cyn says, “I don't have the two-way radio in my head. Spill it.”
Julia looks at Cyn. “We have consummated—”
“I know,” Cyn says.
Julia scowls. “Aura readers have seen Scott…”
Cyn's jaw moves side to side. “Ah. Gotcha. You guys did the deed, and now you're all rainbow.” She slaps her hands together, knitting her fingers.
Julia's chin dips. “Something like that.”
“Not a helluva a lot of privacy around this joint.”
Scott laughs. “None. But everyone's in the same boat. If someone can't read your mind to find out your
situation
”—he slides a glance Julia's way and her cheeks become pink again—“then there's an Aura reader who can out you.”
“Being a Singer is serious mojo,” Cyn comments thoughtfully. She taps her chin. “Kinda glad I just fix people when Humpty Dumpty's men can't put them back together again. That telepathy shit sucks.”
“That's fucking random, Cyn,” Scott says.
Julia takes a deep breath then lets it out as though her body's in slow motion.
Scott draws her close. “You okay?”
She nods, gives a small smile to Cyn, and returns her attention to Scott. “You
know
how I feel.”
“Yeah. But it feels more right to ask anyway.” Julia never feels anything but right in Scott's arms. He pulls away slightly and places his palm above the mark at her belly. “How's this doing?”
Julia shrugs. “It doesn't bother me so much now.”
Scott's expression is troubled.
“That's from Tony's little demon saber, right?” Cyn asks.
Julia nods.
“And it was given to him by that prick Praile, the demonic who—”
“Yeah,” Julia interrupts quietly. “The one responsible for killing Jason.”
“And almost killing
you
,” Cyn reminds her.
“Maybe not.”
They look at Scott.
“What do you mean?” Cyn asks.
“I mean—
why
would Praile exert all this effort to get at Julia?”
“Did you seriously just ask that question?” Cyn asks, scrunching her nose. “I mean, Julia's been tag-teamed since forever. And!” Cyn nearly shouts. “We did hand the demonic their ass.” Her eyebrows rise to her hairline.
Scott chuckles, threading his fingers through Julia's and hauling her toward the mansion. “Cynthia, you do have a way with words.”
“What?” Cyn grins. “Praile's at the root of all our current woes, and I think he needs his dick pulled off. Cutting is simply insufficient. Not that I don't think Tessa did a stand-up job with her talons.
Damn
.”
Scott stops in his tracks. “You just say stuff like that? Do you ever think about how that would be?”
Cyn smiles.
Julia chokes back a laugh. “Yeah, I think she really does, actually.”
“Shit! Remind me not to get on your bad side.”
“Consider yourself warned.” Cyn waggles her brows.
Amusement flows through their connection.
Scott narrows his eyes at Cyn. “Nice friend, Julia.”
“Hey,” Julia says, socking him with her free hand, “she kicks ass and takes names.”
Scott shakes his head. “No, she kicks ass and decapitates dicks.”
Julia bends over, clutching her ribs, and Scott releases her hand, putting his hands on his hips. “Not funny, really.”
“
So
funny!” Julia cries, swiping tears of laughter.
“See?” Cyn says, throwing her palm toward Julia. “She appreciates my humor.”
He scoops Julia up, tosses her over his shoulder, and swats her butt.
“Scott!” Julia gasps, beating on his back, “Put me down.”
“No, ma'am, You're going to get proper discipline after our nuptials.”
Julia stills, her fingers spreading flat on his back. “What?”
Cyn jogs beside them. “That's why Scott was looking all constipated earlier. He had to tell you the news. Now that One knows you guys figured out your love life, you get to be married. I mean—what's stopping you?”
Scott grips Julia's hips, and she slides down his front.
Guilt, desire, and uncertainty cloud her mind. Everything's moving too fast.
Jason's dead. The demonic are still tearing around in parts unknown, and her people are fewer. Those who remain are scattered and unsure.
Scott cups her face in one large hand. “I feel all your anxiety. But here's the thing, Julia—do you have anxiety about you and me?”
Cyn remains blissfully silent for once.
Julia searches her heart. Each piece of her psyche holds tension, except one.
The soul-meld is the only intact thing about her right now. And no matter how her future might change, her supernatural connection with Scott holds.
“Right,” Julia answers, noting Scott's tight eyes and tense posture. “We feel right.”
His fingers move from her chin and wrap the crown of her head. “Then let's do something that's happy. There's been too much grief.”