Blood of the Pure (Gaea) (32 page)

“And the weight of this punishment varies according to the Contract’s value,” I went on, the gears in my head turning. “But how can I know what’s the value of my Contract? What he has to do for me is so ... mundane. And what I have to do for him is ... well, although I might find it disgusting, it’s not like it would be that much of a problem for most people.” I argued in a low voice, too embarrassed for having to talk about it.

“It’s not that simple,” Lea countered in his grown-up tone. “I can’t explain it, but if you’ll believe in me ...”

I took a deep breath. Believing, not believing, things in my head weren’t that linear.

“Anyway, what kind of punishment can I demand?” I asked.

He hesitated for a moment. But the expression on his face was strong and decided.

“You can ask for his Soul.” I was so stunned by his answer that I didn’t know what to say.

“Wha ... what?” I choked. “But that’s like asking for his death, right?”

“Not quite. Unlike you Humans, our Souls don’t belong to the Life and Death Cycle. If you were to ask for his Soul, he would be imprisoned for all eternity, his powers Sealed,” he explained, his pained expression leaving me wordless.

And there it was! My heart rushed. A way to Seal him once again! The answer to all my problems! All I had to do was to make sure he did break that Contract, and suddenly that didn’t seem all that difficult. After all, he’d already almost done it once. And now, if I would just let him be. If I were to allow him to hurt Steph, as it was certain that would happen, I could make use of the Law and demand his imprisonment. Sure, Steph would be depressed, and she might even hate me for the rest of her life. But, in the end, she was still a Human girl, and I knew all too well how Human Beings had the ability to stand up and face almost anything that might be thrown their way. I was sure she’d forget him soon enough and that she would end up finding some nice boy that would deserve her. And the rest, as painful as it might be, was a cheap price to pay to free her, and me, of that terrifying creature. Above all, I’d be free from him and from that terrible Contract. And he would disappear from my life, returning to the darkness from where he should have never been released.

That last thought left a bitter taste in my mouth and I recalled Lea’s presence, watching me silently, as if he could listen to the endless torrent of thoughts and arguments that crossed my mind. He looked apprehensive, as if aware of my motivations and ideas, and I felt sorry for him, knowing that he, too, would suffer when I sent his Master back to oblivion.

“Lea, why are you telling me all this?” I asked softly and he lowered his head.

“Because if I can’t take him back home, then at least ... at least I hope that someone might be able to take care of him,” he answered darkly.

“Take care?” I repeated, trying hard to understand what he meant. “Are you talking of me?” I concluded, half outraged, half panicking and he just stared at me. “You’ve got to be kidding!” I exploded, jumping to my feet, and paced back and forth, trying to keep rational about all that.

“Because you’re the only one who can do it! Because you’re the one who called him here! And because it’s with you he has this Contract!” Lea told me in one breath, his gaze following me from one end of the room to another, and frustration squeezed my chest as despair took over my thoughts.

“Lea!! All I want is for him to disappear!” I stated, raising my voice, and ran a shaky hand over my face. “And you, you give me the solution and ask me to use it to control him?” I asked and laughed nervously. That couldn’t be happening! “What about me? Where do I stand in all of that? If I can’t get rid of him, what’s left of my life?” I went on, my voice breaking into a rough whisper and I let myself lean against a wall, sliding slowly towards the floor. The cold from the plaster trespassed my cotton blouse, calming me down, although it did little in helping me order the chaos running amok among my thoughts.

“Mari, I wish I could tell you everything,” he told me in his juvenile voice. “But I can’t. The only thing I can do is ask you this.”

I raised my head, staring at the ceiling, and took a deep breath.

“I don’t know if I can do what you’re asking,” I said, my voice sounding hard and cold. “I’m sorry. Maybe you should really kill me, or something. If you did all your wishes would come true.”

I heard the soft creaking of the bed and the sound of bare feet against the floor, followed by the soft tinkling of his bell. I didn’t move. I’d give him that chance. If everything ended there, then at least it was an end. I was too tired, even to think about tomorrow. He stopped right in front of me, his silver gaze too cold and hard to belong on a child’s face. I didn’t react. It was almost easier to just die there than having to decide what to do. His small hands surrounded my neck and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes. Only just a bit more and I’d have eternal silence. Sure, I felt sorry for those that would suffer from my departure, but maybe this was for the best. However, Lea’s small hands didn’t choke me as I expected, and slid, warm and soft, over my skin, slowly enveloping me in his embrace as he leaned his forehead against mine.

“I’m sorry, but now I can’t kill you anymore,” he whispered as if he really meant it; as if he wanted to fulfill my wish, but something prohibited him from doing so. “And it’s not only because Master would be very angry. I need you alive. Please forgive me.”

I shuddered as I noticed that I hadn’t died, that I wasn’t going to die, and a stupid relief washed over me. I raised my arms and pulled him into my embrace, sitting him between my legs, resting my head on his naked shoulder. The flowery scent of the shampoo I had used on him reached my nose.

“Don’t know which one of you is worse.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re asking me to willingingly throw away the only chance I have to win my life back.”

“Sorry.”

“And you’re telling me to throw away what’s most important to me to help a creature that I still haven’t even understood what he wants from me.”

“Sorry.”

I clenched my teeth, struggling against myself, and anguish nearly smothered me.

“Why? Why can’t I refuse you!”

His small hand caressed my hair, comforting me, and I once more found myself wondering where were the tears I knew I should be crying.

“You’re Human, Mari. The choice is always yours,” he answered me softly.

To use the Law to control him, or to use the Law to Seal him. I leaned my head backwards, against the wall, and he straightened his back to look at me. I felt his small fingers softly touching my skin and faced his bright gaze. If I were to Seal him, what would it be to that child? And why did it bother me so much? Once more, I reminded myself not to be deceived by appearances. That child was not a child! He was a demon. And no one could guarantee me that everything he’d just told me was the truth, that it wasn’t all part of some sordid plan, too big for me to see the whole picture from where I stood. Like he said, there were a lot of things that I still didn’t know, things that he wouldn’t, or wasn’t allowed to tell me about. But, if it really was like that, why was his gaze so straightforward and pure? For good or for evil, his heart was completely loyal and dedicated to Gabriel. Lea had risked everything by telling me all that he had. And I was sure that, through Gabriel’s eyes, him doing so could even be seen as treason. On the other hand, the risk he’d taken only went to show just how desperate he was and how serious the situation really was. How could I disappoint him? And how could I sacrifice my and Michael’s happiness to help a demon?

“Even if I ... even if I use this Law, the only thing I can make sure of is that he will not hurt those around me. I can’t stop him from seeing Stephanie,” I argued, assuming the possibility, and Lea’s expression became immediately brighter, tugging at my soft heart. How could I once again condemn him to absolute solitude when I knew how much he’d suffered these last eighty years? “Besides, if they’re really in a ... relationship, breaking it up just like that can also mean a breach in the Contract.”

“He’ll do as you wish, Mari. If you clearly tell him what you wish,” he explained firmly, which deeply bothered me.

“Without asking anything in return?” I asked, unsure, and he averted his gaze.

“That ... that I don’t know. But the choice is yours, it’s always yours,” he repeated, sounding depressed now, and I took a deep breath running a hand over his still damp hair.

“I won’t promise anything, Lea. But, for now, I’ll just focus on saving Stephanie from all this mess. As for me, if I’ve survived until now, I’ll probably be able to do so for few more days and, who knows? Maybe I’ll find another solution.” I told him and he gave me the most beautiful smile. “However! Please understand. I will not allow this Contract to be fulfilled!” I clarified and his expression became serious again. “It’s something I’d already decided, even before you told me all this. For now, I’ll just keep avoiding Michael as much as I can. Do you understand? My wish can never be fulfilled,” I tried to explain. “At least not through this Contract. Even if Michael returns my feelings, the price I have to pay will ruin everything. So, if it ever comes the time where I feel that the Contract is about to be fulfilled and there’s nothing I can do about it, I won’t hesitate, and I will use this Law of yours to get rid of him. When that time comes, if it comes, I’ll allow you to kill me, if that’s your wish. After all, it’s only fair, since it was you who gave me a way out, and it’s you who will be alone once he is gone. Just like I’m now fighting to avoid having to suffer, I’ll grant you that same chance.” I caressed the soft, warm skin of his face.

“And you’re telling me all this?”

“Sure. This is our Contract, Lea.”

He looked down, as if considering all that I’d just told him and, when he raised his head, there were no doubts in his silver eyes.

“I accept!” he firmly declared and, before I could react, his small hands held my face and his lips touched mine in a brief, child-like kiss. “Now our Contract is Sealed,” he told me in that grown-up tone of his and I was so caught off guard that I just sat there, completely stunned, for a few seconds. Then my face caught on fire as I became aware that he’d just kissed me, and I hit him over the head, making him cringe with an ‘Ouch.’

“You! Really!” I complained and he laughed, amused by my angry expression. I inhaled deeply, smiling as a reflex brought upon by the pure sound of his laughter, and held him under his arms, making him stand up. “And let’s get you dressed before you catch a cold!” I added and Lea shrugged, showing he would only do it to please me. I helped him put on the pajama shirt and he slid into its matching pants, the only clothes we’d bought for him during the weekend, and the only ones that fit him without making him drag long sleeves all over the place. “Maybe I should get you some more clothes,” I mused.

“No need. As soon as Master is no longer angry with me, I’ll ask him to get me all the new clothes you want,” he told me with a strained smile and I raised him from the ground effortlessly, sitting him on my bed.

“He is not angry with you!” I practically spelled it out for him. “You heard what he said, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but even so, it’s still hard to talk with him,” he lamented. Although I’d be trying my best to cheer him up these last few days, the truth was that Lea felt very lonely without him. I grabbed the book I’d bought with Michael and sat beside him.

“How about a story?” I suggested and he jumped excitedly.

“Yes, please! I love when you read for me!” he declared, once more honest and pure happiness making his eyes even brighter. I opened the book to the first page. He was so easy to please.

I read for Lea the rest of the afternoon and through the night, until he fell asleep.

Then I stood up, so that sleep couldn’t claim me as well, and went downstairs to the kitchen where I sat to wait for him. I almost fell asleep a half-dozen times and fought the increasing drowsiness with all my persistence. I washed my face, drank cold water, paced around the table, dampened my neck and behind my ears, and yet no sign of him. When I’d finally began to accept the fact that he wasn’t coming home, after all, his presence echoed throughout the whole house, stealing my breath away. My eyes flew to the kitchen clock — it was almost three in the morning.

I tried to control my breathing to still my jumping heart, mentally reviewing what I had to tell him, and once more uselessly reinforced the idea that he couldn’t harm me.

Even so, and although I couldn’t hear his footsteps, my hands were already shaking even before he’d crossed the door.

“Mariane.” My name ... in his voice.

I flattened my hands against my ears and counted my breathing.

“Stop saying my name,” I asked with a broken voice. He seemed surprised to see me there as he stood by the door, so completely still that he could’ve easily been mistaken for a statue, granting me the time I needed to recover.

Slowly, I began regaining control over the irrational fear that drowned every cell in my body, and managed to take a deep breath. I felt so tired.

“What are you doing here? It’s late. Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” he asked me keeping his voice down, and I forced myself to answer him.

“I needed ... to talk to you,” I replied, annoyed at myself when my voice trembled, and he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the door frame.