Blooming (27 page)

In Chicago,
Jen was making her arrangements to come home, the best thing to come out of all
this mess was that she’d had the chance to make it up to Mr and Mrs Kenton, and
they made her promise to come back to stay for good if she needed to.

She’d also
made amends with Max, Iris and Johnny’s nephew. Jen had avoided him like the
plague after the botched date she’d been coerced into, which had also been the
final straw that had pushed her to leave Chicago. That whole episode felt like
another lifetime ago now.

It was hard
not to like Max and he was definitely easy on the eye. Less physically imposing
than Todd at a little under 6 feet, with remarkably blond hair and blue eyes. He
was 35 and worldly wise and currently on a temporary respite in Chicago before
going back to travelling the world as a photo journalist.

When Mrs
Kenton found out about Sean’s fashion evening, it was her suggestion that she
take Max along as her date.

“I don’t want
to play games Mrs K - I don’t want to make Todd jealous. It’s not about getting
payback, it’s about having the courage to stand my ground even if everything’s
gone wrong. I have ties there now and I don’t want to just relocate anymore - I
don’t want to run.”

“I know
sweetie, but you’ll need a friend on board for the night, and he would be there
for you and you alone.”

“I’ll think
about it.”

“I’d be happy
to do it.” Max’s warm voice came from the doorway, “I can treat it like work,
take some photos – you said there were some celebrities attending right?” Jen
stepped forward and kissed Iris on the cheek, and smiled over at Max. “I’ll
call if I need you, but I’ll stay in touch with you and Mr Kenton anyway,
whatever happens this time Mrs K, you’ve always been very good to me.”

Then the cab
arrived to take her to the airport.

****

Jen arrived
late evening and crept in the building. She only had the small overnight bag
she’d left with. Deep relief flooded her when she made it to her apartment
without being intercepted.

She looked
around her. She’d come to love this place, but at the same time Jen could feel
Todd’s presence in every nook and cranny of the building, and she really didn’t
know what happened next.

Downstairs
Lily said quietly, “she’s just come in, I heard the door.”

“I know, I
heard too.”

“Are you
going up?”

Todd’s face
was conflicted; he’d faced down big hitters in the ring with less apprehension
than he had about speaking to Jen again.

“Go Todd, the
longer you leave it the worse it will get.”

He rose
unsteadily to his feet and picked up the still unnamed puppy, and then with a
heavy heart he climbed the stairs.

The knock on
Jen’s door didn’t surprise her; she’d just gotten her robe on and tied her hair
up ready to get in the bath, but there was no point putting off the inevitable.
She opened the door slowly.

“Here we are
again,” Todd said quietly.

He looked so
different - rumpled, tired, his face a little hollower than she remembered, the
makings of a fine beard gracing his strong jaw. No matter what, he was always
going to take her breath away, but she found a way to stiffen her resolve.

“I don’t know
what to say to you Todd, I really don’t.”

“I got us a
puppy,” god that sounded lame even to his own ears.

“and what
does that mean?”  

“I mean I’d
arranged it before we fought, it was one of the things I told you I wanted to
do while I was away. You gotta admit he’s really cute?”

Jen resisted
reaching out to the pup, it would put her too close to Todd and she didn’t
trust herself just yet.

“I’m in love with
you Jennifer.”

Her heart
just about stopped beating, the words she never expected anybody to say to her
were out there in the air between them, and it sent floods of hot intense panic
burning through her from her toes to her fingertips.

“No, no you’re
not, you just have some crazy notion of fixing me or rescuing me and it
intrigues you. That feeling won’t last forever.”

“You’re
wrong, I do want to help you fix yourself, otherwise how else will you let me
be with you? And just so we’re perfectly clear - I would never have slept with
Carly again Jen. I told her that in no uncertain terms.”

“I’ll never
know that now, not for sure will I?”             

“Jen look, you
want to be treated like a big girl? You want to hear the whole ugly truth? Things
were very complicated when I split up with Carly. It came on the heels of her
miscarrying our baby, at least that’s what she told me.”

Jen reeled
back further into her apartment and Todd modified the aggression in his tone.

“I was never
sure whether what she really did was have an abortion; because she was
horrified when she found out she was pregnant. When we split I didn’t know
whether to be upset for her or angry at her, things were left unresolved, it
was the worst time of my life.”

“Why would
you have slept with her again if you thought her the kind of person capable of
having an abortion without your consent?”

“Well I
didn’t mean for that to happen, she’s very beautiful and made a pass at me and
I was an idiot – in my defence I was single at the time.” Todd fixed Jen with a
vivid green defensive stare. “I met her to let her talk about this new guy and
I guess I hoped I’d get some kind of closure or truth from her but things got
out of hand. After I met you the only reason I agreed to see her again was to
find a way to draw a line under the whole thing whether I got my answers or
not.”

“Todd I, God
I don’t even know what to say right now, it’s a lot to take in. This is sort of
why I’ve guarded against relationships, you know how to cope with people having
a past, but I don’t. I saw you with that woman who you’d so obviously been
intimate with, and I felt every bit like the ugly little nobody I was before
you forced me to think differently. I saw the competition and it only clarified
just how out of my depth I am. I’m sorry – so very sorry Todd, about your baby
too.”

Jen closed
the door softly in his face before he could respond, but in all honesty Todd
didn’t know what else he could say. The puppy licked his hand, he’d forgotten
he still held him. Todd went to turn away, fighting back the urge to bellow in
frustration, and then the door cracked open again. “Do you want the puppy to
stay with me?”

He held out
the little scrap and it fairly shot into Jen’s arms as she pulled him in close,
secretly drinking in Todd’s scent on the puppy’s soft fur. “He was supposed to
be ours, but I won’t fight you for custody, he doesn’t have a name yet - I
wanted us to do that together.”

 “I’ll take
good care of him,” she said and the door closed behind her.

Todd went
downstairs, he felt as if every bone in his body had melted. Lily met him at
the door and he suspected she’d probably been listening in the hallway.

“Todd?” She
was shocked by the look on his face; she’d never seen Todd look so beaten
before, he was the one person she knew who never gave up.

“I’m ok Lily.”

“It’s not
over yet Todd, I promise it’s not over. If she won’t see it for herself we’ll
make her, somehow.”

****

Jen threw herself
into work for a few days. She felt like she’d been seriously neglectful lately
although nobody had complained, in fact she’d fielded many new enquiries that
had come by word of mouth. Despite her current turmoil she was deeply proud of
the progress she’d made with her little business and relished the chance to put
her mind elsewhere for a while.

Her first
setback came when she fell while trying to get in the bath. She’d gotten a
little complacent about wrapping her arm up properly and she slipped in the water
and thoroughly drenched the plaster.

Jen drove
herself to the emergency room in her beat up little Toyota, mortifyingly relieved
she got out of the building unspotted. She cried softly the whole time the doctor
removed her ruined cast and replaced it with a new one, it underlined to her
that she was no longer “Property of Todd Baker”.

Sean however
was delighted, “Oh honey that looks so much better, its way too crass to have
people write on your cast anyway. I’ve been working on ways to camouflage it
for the show – I haven’t quite figured out what fabrics will drape and conceal
best but still look amazing.” He broke off for a second to divert Hugh who was
sniffing his area rug intently. “Keep your eye on this little sucker I don’t
want my furnishings going the same way as Todd’s. Did you know he had to have
new carpet fitted downstairs? It was irredeemable!”

Jen’s puppy,
Hugh, as she’d named him, accompanied her everywhere now and she was quickly
getting him house trained. He slept on the bed every night and she cried into
his fur at least twice a day but he took it all in his short stumpy stride.

Jen rigidly kept
her focus on the upcoming charity event; Sean had coaxed her into modelling a
little - seeing as her supposed public profile was a crowd puller, according to
him anyway. There was also going to be a karaoke, plenty of local celebrities
and a TV camera crew to capture it all.

Jen saw it as
a final test of how far she’d come, and that was the main reason she was going
through with it, mentally she was trying to not think too far ahead because
that would be her downfall. For some reason Sean telling her he needed her to
do this, helped her control her anxiety. There was a part of her now that liked
having something to offer in the way of help and she’d always hated letting
people down. Honestly she had to admit to a tiny bit of excitement. As scary as
it was, it was probably a once in a lifetime opportunity to feel like a
princess for the night and she badly wanted to find the strength to hold her
nerve.

Sebastian
asked cautiously, “Are you going to be Todd’s date for the night.”

She smiled
sadly, “no.”

“Are you sure
you’re doing the right thing honey?”

“No not at
all, but I haven’t cleared my head just yet.”

The truth was
she’d pretty much decided to get the event over with and then find somewhere
local to move to, as quickly as possible. She’d already begun boxing the
belongings she didn’t need for everyday use. It felt a little like surrendering
to defeat again but this way she could still work on developing her new
friendships but without the heartbreak of being in close proximity to Todd.

Sean
interrupted her thoughts, “You’re not going to meet anybody of our age or older
who hasn’t got a past full of people you’d rather not deal with, that’s life –
God you should meet Sebastian’s ex Bartholomew – he’s 6ft 5, buff and loaded,
and I have to see him at every family party because he dates one of Seb’s uncles
now. How messed up is that?

You need to
decide if the spectre of Carly Frost is worth losing Todd for? My opinion is
you won’t do better than him.” Sean looked at her intently when she didn’t
answer, “anyway think about it while you try on the finale dress, designed
especially for you of course.”

Jen gaped at
the dove grey sequinned gown that Sean produced from his closet. “Oh my, it
doesn’t cover very much does it?”

“That’s the
idea sweetie by the time I’m done with you, you’ll have no inhibitions left to
worry about,” Sean laughed evilly.

****

The next
morning Jen showered and pulled on an ankle length skirt and the first top she
could lay her hands on. She dressed quickly in order to get Hugh out to do his
toilet in time, a lesson she’d learned the hard way.

Coming back
in she picked her mail up in the hall and glancing up found Todd blocking her
path back upstairs. She stiffened as he smiled at the puppy and ran a hand over
his silky head.

“I missed the
little guy, he’s grown so much already,” he said testing the water. “How’s his
training going?”

“He’s good;
he’s been a quick little learner.”

“What did you
call him?”

“Hugh,”
unconsciously she had moved closer to Todd.

“You?” he
asked.                    

“Hugh - like
Hugh Jackman.”

“Oh right,
got to give him some kind of advantage over the big dog’s I suppose, although
you do realise he’s got a problem if they think its Hugh Grant instead? He
might be in for a few doggy pasting’s then.”

Jen smiled
involuntarily.

Todd’s eye
slid down to her broken arm, clearly visible as she was only wearing a vest
top. He bristled when he registered its pristine whiteness.

“Are things
so bad you couldn’t stand to see my name there anymore?” he raised his voice
angrily.

She got angry
right back, “It’s not like that; I fell in the bath and ruined it.”

“You fell, why
the hell didn’t you call me? I care about what happens to you, hell I worry
about you all the time.” He pulled the puppy from her and started yanking on
her good arm and pulled her into his apartment. Slamming the door he released
her and marched over to his desk and rummaged around.

“Where’s
Lily?”

“Back at
college, come here.”

He put the
puppy on the floor and beckoned her towards him; she gave him the benefit of
the doubt and approached cautiously.  When he was within touching distance, he
took her by surprise and spun his back to her, grabbing her left arm underneath
his in a vice like grip. She could neither get around him nor see what he was
doing, then she smelled magic marker and started tugging.

“Hold still
or I’ll make a mess.”

Jen started
swearing some choice words under her breath and he chuckled despite himself, “There
it’s done.”

He released
her arm and she pulled it back around him looking down in dismay, the wording
read, “Todd loves Jen, truly, only and always,” there was a single crooked
kiss.