Blooming (5 page)

“I took the
cowards way out and left while they were on vacation.”

“I don’t
think you’re a coward at all, you seem to stand up to me when you need to, and
you moved yourself from Chicago, you’re running your own business. Cowards
don’t get that far.”

“That’s nice
of you to say, but I cop out all the time.”

Todd traced a
pattern with his finger on the door wishing he could touch her fingers again,
“I need you to make me a promise, never to just run from here. I’d rather back
off than force you out. I can’t promise to keep Lily away from you, because
she’s every bit as tenacious as me, but I’ll speak to Sean and Sebastian about
giving you some breathing room. I get the feeling I’m the main problem though
maybe?”

A minute’s
pause, “Yes, you are.”

“Why?”

“Because
you’re ridiculously good looking, and that’s no good to me, I won’t be able to
act on it.”

Todd smiled
that sounded like a challenge if ever he’d heard one.

There was
another pause and a gulp, “I’m having a glass of wine would you like one? If
you do, I’ll pass it through the door.”

“OK, that’d
be good.”

Todd felt her
weight leave the door and her feet padded away and then back. The door opened a
fraction and her arm came out to the elbow, to pass him the glass. He held her
wrist as he took the wine from her, and used the opportunity to press a kiss
into the palm of her hand, before allowing her to withdraw.

The door
closed again, and he heard her sit, but suspected she was facing the door this
time. “What was that for?”

“You sound so
sad, and I don’t like people to be sad it may surprise you to know I’m not as
insensitive as you think.”

Jen laughed
again, “Yeah right.”

“See you’re
feeling better already, from just one tiny kiss.” Todd pressed on before she
could deny it, “Why do I make you nervous?”

There was
silence for a few minutes while she sipped her drink, and Todd wasn’t sure
she’d continue.

Finally Jen
breathed in deeply, “OK, I can tell you a few things that happened to me, it
doesn’t really explain it all, but it’s the best I can do.

When I was in
8
^th
grade I was hit by a car and very badly injured. I was thrown
over the hood with enough force to send me a few feet into the air, and when I
landed on the other side my chest was impaled on a metal fence railing.”

She heard
Todd’s sharp exhale on the other side of the door, and continued while she
still could.

I had to stay
in hospital for a long time, I’d cracked my sternum, and I also broke my collar
bone and fractured my hip.”

“Christ Jen,
I’m so sorry.”

“Anyway all
the injuries were just the start, I lost a lot of school-time and I suffered
from a kind of post traumatic stress. When I did try to go back to school, the
few friends I’d made had drifted away and formed new friendships. I spent a lot
of recesses alone, and because of the injuries I’d suffered I walked with a
limp for a while. Eventually I just found myself spending more and more time
alone.

Todd became
aware that she was talking as if he weren’t there anymore, like it was a bedtime
story that she had told over and over until the words came unbidden. She spoke
like someone hypnotised so he just waited for her to finish.

“After a
while I couldn’t control the panic attacks that came on during school time, and
people forgot about the accident and started to see me as a figure of fun. I
was bullied quite badly almost every day.

In the end
mom couldn’t take it anymore, I was in danger of doing something to harm
myself, so she pulled me from school and took on extra work so she could pay
for me to be tutored privately.”

Todd was
trying to work out the correct response but nothing was coming to mind so he
said simply, “God I’m sorry, I can’t imagine..?”

Jen cut him
off abruptly, the shuffling noise letting him know she’d risen to her feet,
“Your hour is over,” she was sobbing softly, trying not to let him hear it.

“I want to
come back tomorrow. We can do this just the same and I’ll sit outside your door
for as long as you’ll talk to me, even though I’m pretty stiff out here, and
not the good kind of stiff.” He caught himself in the dumb joke and swore; now
why could he not have just reined that last bit in?

“Sorry just
forget I said that, cheap joke.”                                   

“Todd, if you
really must, then come back in two days. I just can’t cope with doing this
every day, and please don’t tell anyone, even Lily. I don’t want anybodies
pity.”

“Jennifer,
the last thing I do is pity you and you’re right, pity is the last thing you
need.”

Jen choked
back a sob, pulling herself together with difficulty.

Todd got to
his feet, and then remembered something, “I still need that promise from you
not to run.”

“I promise
not to run without telling you, that’s the best I can do right now. Leave your
glass and I’ll get it later.”

“Goodnight
Jen.”

“Goodnight
Todd.”

Todd waited
for ten or fifteen minutes, he lost track of it really, he couldn’t hear
anything on the other side of the door and didn’t know if that was bad or good,
he was hoping she’d open the door to get the glass. He wanted to see her little
face, touch her - maybe even kiss her, no matter how brief, just to confirm his
intent to not let her run off. But the door stayed resolutely shut and
eventually he went back downstairs deep in thought.

Jen had no
intention of collecting the glass from the hall until the next day, she
wouldn’t risk him still sitting there all green eyed and gorgeous, instead she
went into the bathroom and washed her face. She looked up into the mirror and
saw that her face looked drawn and pale. In truth she felt absolutely
shattered.

Even though
it was just past 8, she got into bed and drew the covers up tight. Exhaustion
swept over her and she slept fitfully until she woke herself with a shout at
3am, and realised she’d once again been sobbing heartbroken in her sleep.

****

The bell
jangled overhead as Jen came through the door of “Beans” coffee shop. She’d
woken up feeling raw and wrung out to a message on her machine from Lily asking
to meet her.

She caught
sight of her familiar blond head over the back of one of the booths, but first
she stopped next to Ben who was bent over clearing tables.

“I’m very sorry
about the scene in here yesterday, honestly I’m not usually like that,” she
muttered.

Ben looked at
her taking in her appearance and studying her carefully, “Are you kidding, that
was the coolest thing I’ve seen in ages. What regular guy doesn’t enjoy seeing
an uber stud like Todd being taken down like that, it was awesome!”

Jen laughed
despite herself, “I think he’s probably a good guy, he just aggravates me to
death.”

“He’s cool,
but it still did my ego some good to see that even the hot guys get kicked in
the nuts now and then.”

Jen looked
into Ben’s eyes properly for the first time, and saw a flicker of pain there,
so she put a hand on his arm, not something she casually did with strangers.
“It still feels pretty raw for you - doesn’t it?”

“It does –
but I’ll be ok,” he sighed.

Lily stood up
and leaned over the back of her booth and shouted across, “Hey Jen come on
over, the coffee’s getting cold already.”

“Who’s your
friend?” Ben asked.

“Well friend
is stretching it a bit for me,” she said quietly, “It’s Todd’s sister Lily -
you’ve not met her before? She’s annoyingly positive too.”

Ben smiled at
her, “you’re funny, you know that?”

“Trust me I
know – see you later.”

“Come on,
come on,” Lily yelled again, “we need to talk.”

“Hi Lily, how
are you?”

“I am very
very curious that’s what I am.”

“About?”

“What’s
happening with you and Todd?”

“Lily, have
you spoken to Todd since last night?”

“Not really,
he was out early this morning he had some errands to run.”

Jen sighed,
obviously she’d not been given the back away talk yet that Todd had promised
her. Sitting looking at the girl she just knew it was going to be pointless
anyway, she was like a real live energizer bunny.”

“Lily what
happened the other night at dinner?”

“Ah you don’t
remember, well it was very sweet, before you’d even eaten half your pasta, you
were snoozing on Todd’s arm,” Jen’s mouth opened in alarm.

“After a bit
he just gave up and put his arm round you while we finished dinner.” Lily
looked at Jen with a smile in her eyes while Jen could feel her face turning
the colour of fresh raspberries.

“Anyway,
there was no waking you at the end of dinner you were out for the count, so he
just carried you back upstairs and put you to bed.”

Oh just
bloody marvellous Jen thought.

“When he came
back downstairs, he looked absolutely smitten, even though he said you’d blown
your nose on his shirt.”

Jen spat out
the mouthful of coffee she’d just swallowed, barely missing Lily who was
obviously having a whale of a time recounting the details. A second later Jen
realised that if making an idiot of herself under the influence, plus what
she’d told him last night, hadn’t been enough to put Todd off her so far, she
was going to have to work a lot harder at it tomorrow night.

“Don’t worry
about it Jen, he’s practically buzzing at the moment you must be doing
something right.”

And what the
hell could that be? Jen thought, the man must be seriously deluded to still be
interested in her.

She shook the
thought away again and tried to stash it in a compartment to be dealt with at
7pm tomorrow night.

“Is that the
only reason you asked me here Lily, because I really have work I need to get on
with?”

“Er no,
although I’m terribly curious about the two of you, I actually had an ulterior
motive and was hoping I could ask a favour of you.”

“This was
just getting better and better,” Jen thought.

“I’ve
arranged to meet someone at Maxwell’s steakhouse tomorrow night. I don’t really
know the guy because we met in an online chat room, but we have some of the
same friends in common from back home.”

Jen could
feel the room spinning she was deadly afraid that Lily was about to ask her to
go on a double date.

Anyway Todd
won’t let me go on my own, I mean I’m 23 years old, I shouldn’t have to ask his
permission but he’s a bit, “while you’re under my roof you live by my rules,”
she said, doing an excellent impression of Todd’s smooth deep voice. For the
first time Jen looked at Lily and saw how she looked so much like him, although
she was as fair as he was dark.

“So are you
asking me to try and talk him into letting you go? Because I don’t think
meeting a stranger you only know online is a good idea either.”

Lily’s face
fell, “I was going to ask if you’d come with me.”

“What after
my recent track record as suitable dinner company?” Jen tried to make light of
it as she could see Lily was getting upset. She must really be keen on this
guy.

“Look Lily,
if you want to meet him here during the daytime I would do that for you. I can
sit back here and wait in case you send up a distress signal, but you’d have to
clear it with Todd, I don’t want to get in the middle of anything.”

Lily looked
up at Jen in surprise, “that’s great thank you so much, it’s almost more than
I’d hoped for,” she leaned over the table and hugged Jen to her firmly.

When she
released her again, Lily clapped her hands together, picked up her bag and
dashed out mumbling about going to make the arrangements.

Jen finished
her coffee and looked up, to catch Ben still watching Lily as she crossed the
street.

Thursday
dawned bright and sunny - but for Jen, knowing she had another date with Todd
that evening, it may as well have been raining cats and dogs.

She whizzed
through her work and remembered to take a proper break for lunch and to drink
plenty of water, he wasn’t going to catch her unawares or unprepared tonight. She
needed to put an end to this for everybody’s sake.

At 5pm she
switched off her computer for the day, and decided to freshen up. Maybe if she
felt more confident, even if he wasn’t looking at her, she would be able to act
more positively.

She bathed
and took the time to shave her legs. Something she didn’t do nearly as often as
she should, after all she lived in her jeans and she didn’t have anybody
looking there to worry about.

Instead of
putting fresh clothes on she decided to make herself comfy in her fleecy
pyjamas and matching robe. She always found them soothing to wear and after the
other night when she’d been so drained and didn’t even bother undressing for
bed, she may as well be ready for another early night.

When she
heard Todd approach on time again, she was already perched on her pillow behind
the door and she’d brought her bedcover and tucked it around herself.

“What’s
this?” Todd’s voice was muffled by the door. He’d found the glass of wine and a
brand new t-shirt that she’d bought him.

“Lily told me
what happened the other night.”

“You didn’t
have to buy me a new shirt,” he smiled.

“No – but it
seemed like the thing to do, I wouldn’t feel the same about a shirt of mine if
you’d blown your nose on it.”

Todd laughed
out loud, “I’ll keep that in mind for the future and this just may become my
new favourite one. I’ll always have fond thoughts of you when I wear it.”

“I’ve asked
you not to say stuff like that to me, I’ve told you this is not going anywhere,
I’m just humouring you because I don’t seem to have a choice.” Jen grouched.