Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (34 page)

My body deflated. “I’m not playing hard to get, and you shouldn’t waste your energy on me anyway. I have nothing to offer you.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” His face softened into an understanding smile. “You have so much to offer; you just don’t see it.”

“And you do?”

“I’ve only known you a few hours, and that was more than enough time for me to see how special you are. Please, let me feed you. You’re hungry, and it’s the least I can do to show my appreciation for your help.”

My front teeth sank into my bottom lip as I considered his offer.

“C’mon. No pressure. We can go to the diner down the road.”

In a move totally out of character for me, I agreed. Not wanting to be pressed for time, I hurried up the stairs to my apartment to get cleaned up. After a quick shower, I dressed in a pair of jeans and a fitted tee. Not bothering with makeup, I pulled my damp hair into a ponytail before heading back downstairs. About fifteen minutes after I’d left, I was knocking on his door.

“Ready?” I asked as soon as he opened it.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman get ready so quickly.”

“I’ll have to fix myself up later for work, so I didn’t bother doing much now.”

“There isn’t a single thing about you that needs fixing. You look so…innocent.” He wouldn’t have been standing there talking to me if he knew just how wrong he was.

Taking my hand in his, he led me down the remaining stairs and out onto the sidewalk. I should have pulled away, but I was enjoying the unfamiliar connection too much. Usually when my body was connected to a man, it wasn’t by something as innocent as holding hands.

It didn’t take very long to walk the four blocks to my favorite little mom and pop diner. Most of the restaurants in the area were on Main Street, but this one sat by itself in the other direction. The sun still shone brightly, and the air felt like a perfect seventy degrees. The weather this time of year was usually predictable. ‘April showers bring May flowers’ isn’t just a saying around here; it’s typically a reliable forecast. This particular April, however, was out of the norm. There hadn’t been more than a sprinkle of rain in the past two weeks—not that I was complaining.

Like a true gentleman, Carter held the door for me when we arrived at the diner. “Is this okay? I’ve wanted to try it since the first time I came to see the apartment.”

“It’s great. Thank you.”

A server, who doubled as the hostess, greeted us immediately and gave Carter an appreciative once-over before leading us to a booth.

“My name is Jill, and I’ll be taking care of you tonight.” Based on the way she was eye fucking Carter, I knew she really did want to ‘take care’ of him tonight. Suddenly, I wished I’d taken the time to put on makeup or had at least dried my hair.

Jealousy was an emotion I had experienced before, so I recognized the symptoms. When I was young, I’d been jealous of other kids who got to go home to a loving family, a hot meal, and a warm bed every night after school. In college, I had been jealous of the coeds whose parents paid their tuition, sent them care packages, and came to visit them.

The unpleasant burning sensation in my chest was completely new. I couldn’t remember ever being jealous over a love interest. Not that Carter was a love interest, because he wasn’t—or that I’d ever had a real love interest, because I hadn’t. Even though I was pretty sure I wanted Carter, I knew there was no point in hoping I could actually be with him. I was stuck in my current situation for a while longer, and he didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would be okay with my unofficial job description, even after the fact. Maybe the catty bitch, who was currently drooling all over my dinner companion, could sense I wasn’t good enough for him.

“Babe, do you know what you want to drink?” Carter asked as he covered the hand I’d rested on the table with his.

Realizing I’d spaced out, I turned to Jill, who was now snarling at our physical connection. “I’ll have water, please.” I expected Carter to move his hand when she stormed off, but instead, he threaded his fingers through mine.

“She’s a bitch,” he said. “Don’t let her bother you.”

“She wasn’t bothering me.”

“Even though I’ve known you less than half of a day, I can tell you’re upset.”

“Okay, yes, she pissed me off. Mostly because she automatically assumed we aren’t together, or if we are, you would just ditch me for her without a second thought. I may not be a great catch, but that doesn’t give her the right to treat me like garbage.” It was one thing for me to feel that way about myself, but it was something totally different coming from her.

“I can assure you if anyone in this building is garbage, it’s her. Even without a drop of makeup on your face, you are infinitely more beautiful than she could ever hope to be, and she knows it.”

Men didn’t say things like that to women they barely knew. Well, maybe they did, but they sure as hell didn’t say them to me. This had to stop; I was already too caught up in him. Pulling my hand away, I said, “Thank you for defending me, even though you didn’t have to.” I did my best to give him a friendly smile. “Sorry for getting in the way of a sure thing.”

“I’m going to let that slide because we don’t know each other very well, but for future reference, I’m not the type of guy who fucks random women.” He wasn’t exactly angry with me, but he definitely wasn’t pleased with my comment.

“So, if I asked you to come home with me, you wouldn’t?” I cocked a brow at him, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’s an entirely different scenario. You aren’t random—not to me.” The corner of his mouth tipped in to a cute grin. “Plus,
you
are extremely hot.”

Flirting with him would have been easy, but it wasn’t the smart decision, so I focused on his more serious claim. “You just said we don’t know each other. How’s that not random?”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” He must have seen the panic on my face because he quickly added, “Don’t worry; I’m not saying I’m in love with you. I’m just trying to explain.”

“I guess I believe in lust at first sight.” Although I hadn’t before I met him.

“That’s different. When I saw you doing that little dance on the steps, I knew you’d be important to me; I just don’t know how yet.”

That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. Thinking back to his earlier comment that I’d mistaken for a pickup line, I remembered the familiarity I felt the first time I really looked at him. Perhaps he’d felt the same way and was able to express his thoughts more eloquently than I could.

“Maybe it was friendship at first sight,” I offered.

He abruptly took my hand again the moment before Jill stepped up to the table with our drinks.

“Are you ready to order?” she asked him with renewed determination. The top three buttons of her white uniform blouse had conveniently popped open while she’d been in the kitchen.

“What do you want, baby?” he asked me without sparing Jill the slightest glance.

I usually had the grilled chicken salad, but I was pretty sure anything I ordered today would be prepared with an extra serving of saliva. Not seeing a way to avoid it, I went ahead and asked for the salad with the dressing on the side. With any luck, the loogie would end up in there.

“Sounds good; I’ll have the same,” Carter said. I didn’t take him for a salad eater, but I was pleased at the show of solidarity.

When Jill took the menus from him, her fingers lingered over Carter’s hand several beats longer than necessary. “I’ll have it out in a flash,” she said to Carter before turning her back to him and smirking at me. I watched over my shoulder as she walked away, swinging her hips.

“Did you see that?” I turned back around in my seat. “She just won’t give up.”

“I wasn’t looking at her; I was looking at you.” He rubbed the tips of his fingers over my hand. “I have absolutely no interest in her. You, on the other hand, are a different story.”

“Like I tried to tell you earlier at your apartment, I don’t date. If I did, I’d definitely take you up on anything you were willing to offer, but I can’t date. My life is too fucked up.” It would have been so much easier if I could at least convince myself I didn’t want him.

“You said two different things in that statement. You said ‘don’t date’ and ‘can’t date’. You appear to be perfectly capable of dating, which leads me to believe it’s a choice.”

“It’s complicated. No matter whom or what I might want, it would never work. Everyone involved would be guaranteed to get hurt, and I just can’t do it; not to myself and definitely not to someone I care about.”

“Someday you’ll realize you’re wrong. Hopefully sooner rather than later.”

“This is a pretty heavy conversation for our first day as friends.”

“You’re right.” He bobbed his head slightly and fiddled with a straw wrapper. “Are you from this area?”

Great. We’d gone from incredibly serious to inane. “I was born in Indy and lived there until about a year ago. I came out here once to visit a girl from work and realized the slower pace was kind of nice. The rent is a lot cheaper here, too.” It was more like I could live in a much safer neighborhood for the same amount of money. “Living in the burbs has its downfalls, like a longer drive to work, but the quiet is totally worth it.”

“Agreed. I lived in the heart of Indianapolis up until this morning.”

The speed of service at the diner had always been so-so, but today, the food flew out of the kitchen. I suspected our friendly neighborhood slut, who obviously couldn’t wait to get back to the man sitting across from me, had something to do with it.

Carter reached across the table as soon as Jill dropped a salad in front of me. “Is it okay if we switch? I’m not a huge fan of those fried crunchy things, and mine has more than yours.”

“Sure,” I said. There appeared to be a fairly equal quantity of tortilla chip pieces in each salad, but I knew the real reason why he wanted to switch.

“Wait!” The panic in Jill’s voice was comical. She snatched my former bowl from Carter’s hand and said, “I just noticed this one is missing tomatoes. I’ll be right back.”

“I counted at least six tomatoes in there,” Carter said after she’d scurried away.

“Thank you. You just saved me from having chicken a la spit for dinner.” I gave him a little smile and then wondered if there was anything gross in my water.

He leaned across the table, took one of the supposedly offensive chips from my salad, and popped it in his mouth. “I had a feeling that would happen. From now on, we’ll only eat food we can share, like pizza and Chinese takeout.”

“That’s not exactly the healthiest of diets,” I said. “We’ll have to limit it to once or twice a month.” Maybe if I limited all of our interactions to those semimonthly meals, it would be easier for me not to get any more attached. Who was I kidding? In less than a day, I was already completely hooked.

“Nah, I’ll just go to the gym more often.”

“I need to go more, too. This hot bod doesn’t happen by accident,” I joked. It was true though, and I couldn’t afford to gain any weight.

“That’s something else we can do together.” Carter’s smile could have lit up the whole room, but Jill extinguished it when she brought his new salad. I swear he was disappointed when she told him she’d made it without fried crunchies, just for him. Maybe in the future he’d be more careful when crafting excuses.

“Would you like to switch back?” I asked with a smile. “I really don’t need those calories.”

He didn’t even try to hide his excitement as we exchanged entrees again. “New rule. For the rest of our meal, we are going to ignore her and enjoy each other’s company.” Which was exactly what we did. I was having so much fun with him that I was kind of sad when it was time to leave.

I shouldn’t have been surprised Jill’s break time just happened to perfectly coincide with our departure. She followed us outside and put a hand on Carter’s arm to get his attention.

He reflexively jerked away, and when he realized who it was, he tucked me into his side and wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders. “What do you want now?” he asked, clearly fighting to keep his cool.

“You forgot your receipt.” She held out the slip of paper. “I wrote my number on the back.”

“Which is exactly why I left it on the table.” He lowered his arm from my shoulders to my waist and pulled me even closer to him. I didn’t bother to hide my satisfied smile.

Keeping a firm hold on me, he turned us in the direction of our building. Looking over his shoulder, he said, “If you follow us, I will call the police.”

My whole body tensed at his last word.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked after we had taken a few steps.

“Yeah, I just have…issues…with the police.”

Coming to a stop on the sidewalk, his head tilted slightly to the left as he examined me. “You know it’s their job to protect you, right?”

Nodding, I maneuvered his arm from around my waist and took his hand in mine. We were too close, both physically and emotionally, but I didn’t want to give up all contact.

“Please, tell me what’s wrong. Did you get in trouble with the law or something?”

“Me? No.” Everyone else in my family, yes. My personal experiences were more along the lines of disappointment. “It’s just the way I was raised.”

When I started to walk again, his grip on my hand tightened. “I’m not going to push, but I hope someday you’ll trust me enough to tell me about it.”

The sky was just beginning to turn orange as we walked the last couple of blocks in a comfortable silence. It seemed we both had things on our minds neither of us wanted to share.

When we were standing in front of my door, he turned to face me and held both of my hands in his. “I had a great time today. Thank you for your help.” The look in his eyes would be the end of me.

“You’re welcome. I had fun, too. Thank you for dinner.”

“When can we do it again? The dinner—not the physical labor.”

“Please, don’t ask for more than I can give.” My secret would hurt us both, and I had too much to lose if the wrong person found out.

“I’ll never try to take anything from you, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hope you’ll someday realize you can not only give it but have it in return.” He leaned in and gently brushed his lips against my forehead, giving me the most intimate kiss I’d ever received. He pulled away, smiling over his shoulder before disappearing down the steps. He’d made it fairly clear that he was mine for the taking. In that moment, I truly wished I could belong to someone—that I could belong to him.