Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (38 page)

“Let me,” he requested in a husky whisper. He moved my hands aside and leaned in close as he slowly lowered the zipper. His lips ghosted over my neck, sending chills through my body. The dress fell to the floor, and his eyes roamed over me with a genuine hunger I’d never seen before. Lots of men had looked at me lustfully, but no one had ever looked at me like I was actually worth more than a few moments of physical release to them.

His deft fingers unhooked the front clasp of my bra. I didn’t have time to acknowledge the change in temperature before his warm mouth engulfed the tip of my left breast and his fingers played with the other. When he broke away, his fingers slipped beneath the waistband of my panties, sliding them down to my knees. A moment later, I found myself seated on the edge of the bed while he slid them the rest of the way off my legs.

After stripping away his clothes, Carter lowered me the rest of the way onto the bed. He feasted on my lips and neck as we writhed together, skin on skin. It was the most erotic experience of my life. “Wait,” I said breathlessly when I felt his hardness lining up with my entrance. “Condom. I don’t have one.” I was on birth control, but there wasn’t any way I’d take chances with his health.

He climbed off of me, fumbled around with his pants, and then produced a foil packet from his wallet. After snatching it from him, I ripped it open and rolled it onto his straining erection. I would definitely have to spend some time exploring that particular part of his body with my tongue later. Right then, though, I wanted it inside me. I needed him to fill me completely.

After I’d pushed him onto his back and straddled his hips, I realized I had no idea what I was doing. I knew how to fuck like a pro—I’d once gotten a guy off in twenty-three seconds flat—but that’s not what I wanted with Carter. This was different. Carter was different.
We
were different.

His hips bucked beneath me, letting me know he was waiting for me to move. I decided to stop thinking and just do what I did best so he could get some relief. More than anything else, I wanted to make him feel good. Once we were properly aligned, I closed my eyes tightly and sank down onto his rigid cock.

A minute or so after I began, a pair of strong hands stilled my hips. “Open your eyes,” Carter said in a firm voice. I shook my head no. He sat up a little, wrapped his arms around my back, and flipped us over. “Look at me.”

“I—I can’t.”

My eyes finally opened when he slid out of my body. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Am I not good enough?”

“Of course you’re good enough. You’re perfect.” His exasperation was evident with every word he spoke. “This isn’t what I want, and it’s obviously not what you want, either.”

“I told you from the beginning I couldn’t do this.”
Not with emotions behind it.
“I’m really trying here.”

“I think you’re just scared.”

“Of course I’m fucking scared! But I want to do it anyway. Just once, I want to feel normal. And I want it to be with you. This is a new experience for me, and I don’t know what to do!”

“Neither of us are virgins, but this is new for me, too. Get out of your head, and just do whatever feels right.”

“I don’t know what feels right,” I whispered.

“Let’s figure it out together.”

He licked his way down my body, coming to a stop when he was vis–à–vis with what should have been my most intimate area but wasn’t. “So beautiful,” he murmured. He buried his nose between my legs and pulled in a deep breath. “You smell so fucking good.”

I felt myself becoming embarrassingly wet as he hooked my legs over his shoulders. The warmth of his breath on my most sensitive spot was almost enough to set me off. “I can’t wait another second to find out how good you taste.”

“Holy fucking hell!” I shouted at the first brush of his tongue against my clit. My back arched so high off the bed, I worried he would lose his place.

“You like that, do you?” He slid one long finger inside of me and then returned his mouth to its new permanent place of residence. If I had any say in the matter, it would never leave that spot. When I didn’t respond, he pulled away to look at me. “You taste better than anything I’ve ever experienced, just like I knew you would.” A whimper escaped my lips when he withdrew his finger, only to add a second.

All coherent thought flew out of my head as he gave his undivided attention to his ministrations between my thighs. After what might have been mere seconds or long hours of the most intense pleasure I’d ever felt, my body seized, and I exploded into a million tiny pieces.

Barely able to focus, I watched as he pulled his fingers from my body and sucked them clean. Carter licked a trail from my navel to my ear as he moved his way back up to his original position. Once we were face-to-face, he asked, “Was that normal enough?”

“I had no idea anything could feel that good. Good isn’t a strong enough word. I don’t think a word exists that could even come close to describing how that felt.”

“Oh, babe, you’re in for a treat. I’m just getting started.”

His lips melded with mine as he sank into my welcoming body. This time, I stayed in the moment with him. It was no longer about going through the motions to make him feel good; it was about us working together to make each other feel indescribably amazing.

‡

L
ong after my
shift began, the residual heat from Carter’s lips still lingered on my body. After Carter and I had made love most of the afternoon and early evening, work was the last place I wanted to be.

Grinding on a pole had never bothered me. It was good cardio, which I desperately needed if I was going to continue having high-caloric lunches, and I made decent money doing it. Once the set was over, I put on a robe and went to find Bruce, the club’s manager, to get my schedule for the rest of the night. Even though I needed as much money as I could get, I prayed it would only be a few lap dances.

“Whatcha got for me?” I asked the large, bald man. Too young to have lost his hair naturally, I speculated he must shave his head every day to keep it so smooth. It suited him, though. He looked like someone not even an MMA fighter would want to go toe to toe with in a dark alley. Bruce also personally handled all transactions for ‘upgrades’ from the standard lap dance. If he thought a guy had any bad intentions whatsoever, he wasn’t allowed in the back.

“Tommy-boy is back in town and booked your first two slots. After your break, you have a couple of new guys. All are full service.” He handed me the slip of paper listing my appointment times. Of course I would have a full schedule on the one day I would rather use a tampon wrapped in sandpaper than make good money. “The last guy is the groom-to-be from the bachelor party over by Shanna’s pole. Looks like he wants to go out with a bang.” My boss laughed at his lame joke, which I’d heard many times before.

Over the years, I’d had many bachelor party honorees as clients. They disgusted me the most. How could anyone want to spend the rest of their life with someone and then fuck a whore a few days before the wedding? Since it was Friday night, I’d bet this guy was less than a day away from the big event.

“One more thing,” Bruce said as I began to walk away. “I heard a rumor that someone’s been sniffing around a few other clubs around here. Keep your eyes open for anything out of the ordinary.” I nodded my acknowledgement and left to get ready.

Back in the dressing room, I cleaned up the best I could, without actually getting in the shower, and exchanged the robe I was wearing for a shorter one. A glance in the mirror showed a few brown hairs poking out from beneath the blonde wig I’d purchased when I grew tired of getting my roots touched up every other week. The wig had been expensive, but it paid for itself after several months of not having to go to the salon. I made a mental note to pick up a skull cap at the beauty supply store the next time I was in the city during the day.

Satisfied that every dark hair was back in place, I touched up my cherry red lips and smoky eye makeup. There she was. Lisa was ready to go; not a speck of Alissa showed through the mask I still used for protection after all these years.

Lisa could put on a show for the men who wanted to take her for a ride. Lisa could make guys believe she was into them and was having a great time. Lisa could live with herself after the job was done. Most importantly, Lisa hadn’t spent the afternoon in bed with Carter. After one last glance in the mirror, I slipped on the red stilettos I knew Tommy loved and headed out.

Thomas Ramsay was my favorite client. He tipped astronomically well, and he didn’t treat me like a piece of shit. Once I realized we had a six-degrees-of-Kevin-Bacon connection—well, in our case it was more like two degrees via his brother Sawyer and my friend Madison—I started calling him Tommy. Usually he hated the nickname, but for some reason he got all hot and bothered when I used it. Or, I should say, when Lisa used it.

Unfortunately, Tommy lived on the West Coast, so I didn’t see him, or his wallet, very often. Lisa never formed attachments, so I didn’t have feelings for him. I just loved the money. The fact that he was gorgeous and polite was a huge bonus. Although I’d never gotten off with a client, and honestly hoped I never would, he always tried really hard. After the second time we were together, he’d made it his personal mission. None of the others had ever cared about anything other than his own happy ending.

“Hey, Tommy,” I cooed as soon as I opened the door. His wide smile appeared the moment his eyes landed on me. “How’ve you been?”

“So much better now that you’re here.”

Something was different. I knew his ‘I’m horny and can’t wait to get inside of you’ look by heart, but this expression wasn’t even close. Shit. The way he looked at Lisa was similar to the way Carter looked at Alissa, although not nearly as intense.

“Ready to get started?” I asked seductively, keeping Lisa firmly in place.

“In a minute. First, I want to ask you something.” His eyes followed me as I moved closer to him. “They can’t hear us, right?”

“They don’t have any microphones in here,” I confirmed.

He exhaled a quick breath, and then reached for my hand. “I love the time we spend together. I actually volunteer to come to meetings out here just to see you.”

On purpose, I addressed him with his real name instead of the usual nickname, “Thomas, I—”

“Please, hear me out.” He took a breath, in what appeared to be an attempt to gather his courage. “Out in the real world, I’ve been an asshole for years. I’ve been burned a few times, and my stupid ego couldn’t stand the thought of it happening again. Since then, I’ve been using women and then throwing them away. My stupid beliefs about relationships even ended up hurting my family.

“After seeing that not all relationships are destined to fail, I’ve decided to get back on the horse. I want to try to be there for someone again. I want to be the kind of man a woman would be proud to be with—someone
you
would be proud to be with.”

“Tommy, you don’t want to be in a relationship with me. We have a good time together, and you’re comfortable with me, but you don’t even know me.” I pulled my hand from his and ran my fingers through his floppy hair. “You know what I do for a living, and asshole or not, you deserve better than me. I know you’ll eventually find the right person; you just have to be open to it. I’m sorry, but it isn’t me.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he said, a slight flush grazing his cheeks. “It’s probably not a good idea to jump into anything head first anyway.”

“I know I’m right. Now, let’s get to the fun part.” Even though Lisa was still in place, I began counting by threes in my head just to be safe. I’d never had to use an active method of distraction with him before, but after everything he’d just said and everything that had happened this afternoon, I was afraid that Alissa and her guilt would try to poke through.

*

My next client
was the worst kind to get. He was about five-foot-four and had to weigh at least five hundred pounds—none of which was muscle. Not to mention he was sweaty and reeked of onions. I made a mental note to ask Bruce to remove all of the smelly dishes from the menu. Either that or make the guys brush their teeth before they came back to the room.