Blue Colla Make Ya Holla (72 page)

“Exactly,” I agree with her. “I have only been home a few days, but I was gone over four years and come home to you planning my life for me. No one asked me what I wanted. It’s just expected for me to follow suit and, believe me, I am ashamed of myself. I should’ve stood up for myself a long damn time ago.”

“Ainsley, you’re making a big mistake choosing here and now to challenge me,” my father grounds out.

“We’ve just had a bit of a squabble, that’s it, darling,” Elliot says, attempting to calm the waves I have stirred up. Reaching out, he grabs my hand. “Let’s not argue.”

Waving my arms wildly, I huff out a laugh. “I’m stopping myself from making the biggest mistake of my life. I can’t be the person who turns their nose up while they look down on everyone else. I won’t lie and pretend with a fake smile because I want to actually be happy,” I continue. “I don’t know if that can’t happen in Maine. There may just be too many secrets and too much pain here for me to ever be happy here.” Turning to Elliot, I kiss his cheek before yanking my hand free of his grip. “Oh, and darling, you were born in Maine and have lived here all your damn life. Chances are you’re not British.”

Shoving through the door, I inhale the salty, sea air as I walk down the cobblestone drive of the club, my smile nearly splitting my face as I start down the hill.

Adam

‡

“A
nd I would
do annnnnnnythiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnng for muff!” Sebastio sings into the microphone on the small corner stage that Roxy has set up for Karaoke night. He staggers to the edge in hopes of attracting attention of some ladies, nearly falling off completely.

“The lobsterman that caught crabs, everyone. Let’s give him a round of applause!” Roxy shouts as she clears the empty beer bottles and trash from the table beside me. “Now shut the hell up, no one wants to have sex with you.” The lights bounce off her electric blue hair as she crosses the room carrying a loaded down tray in six inch heels like it doesn’t weigh any more than a feather.

“Looks like hell’s freezin’ over, boys,” Donnie shouts, pointing out the window. “Not too often you see ’em walkin’ down the hill, huh?”

Slouching in my seat, I pick at the label on my beer, not giving a shit about who came down from the mighty country club hill. That place may have cost a fortune to build, but it doesn’t draw my interest one bit.

“Shut up, she’s comin’ in,” Roxy scolds, just before the door opens and my jaw nearly hits the floor.

Walking through the door, headed straight for the bar, is Ainsley. She is wearing a short blue dress that ties around her neck and is carrying a pair of gray heels in her hand. “Hey Rox, can I get a beer?” she asks, dropping the shoes to the floor and hopping up onto a barstool.

“You can have anything you want on my tab, baby,” a man calls from the corner table, tipping his beer at her. A growl rumbles up from my chest and I have to remind myself that’s Ainsley isn’t mine anymore before I go pound him into the back of the booth.

Roxy, glances at me then back at Ainsley. “Sure thing, honey. They not have beer at the club?” Popping the cap off the bottle, Roxy hands her the bottle.

“They don’t have
anything
I want up there,” Ainsley replies before taking a long, slow swallow.

“What is it you want?” I can’t help asking, causing her to still mid swallow.

Setting down her bottle she slowly turns on the stool. Crossing one long, tan leg over the other, Ainsley eyes me carefully. “Not that it’s any of your business, Adam, but all I want is to be happy.”

Biting back my laugh, I arch a brow at her skeptically. “Oh really? How much money you gotta shell out to make that happen, princess?” Roxy’s eyes narrow at me as the words leave my mouth, but it doesn’t matter. Years ago, it was heartbreak and the sting of betrayal that caused me to walk away without much more than a few words. I didn’t ask why and I sure as fuck didn’t hang around for her bullshit apologies or excuses.

Tonight, though, is a whole different ballgame.

Hitching up her the hem of her dress just enough to give me an eyeful thigh and a black garter. Ainsley slips a bill out of it and hands it to Roxy. My dick springs to life and I curse under my breath at my body for reacting to her at all. Ainsley’s eyes sparkle with determination and it’s the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen, her smile is sure and confident and damn near knocks the wind out of me. “Everything I just gave up, and it was a hell of a deal, if you ask me. Money isn’t everything to everyone, Adam, at least it isn’t to me.”

“Sure thing,” I scoff, holding up my bottle to her in a mock salute.

Slipping to her feet, she grabs her bottle and heads for the back door. “The stairs out back still go down to the beach?”

“Sure do,” Roxy answers, pocketing the cash. “It’s a long walk to the docks from there though, especially with it getting dark.”

“Thanks,” she replies before disappearing through the door, the only proof she was even here is her gray heels still lying on the floor beside the bar.

My eyes stay locked on her shoes and the vacated stool, my mind replaying the short conversation over and over in my head. The more I think it over, the more questions whirl around in my mind.

“Did you hear one goddamn word I said, Adam?” Roxy says, slapping my in the side of the head.

“Fuck Rox, what was that for?” I ask, rubbing the side of my head.

“I said get off your ass and go after her,” she shouts, slapping me in the chest with Ainsley’s shoes. “That conversation is far from over.”

Grabbing the shoes, I nod and push to my feet. “You’re right.” Exiting the bar, I head down the stairs that lead to the water, determined to get answers.

Ainsley

Reaching the bottom
of the stairs, I finish my beer, tossing it into the trash barrel before stepping onto the cool sand. The sand squishes beneath my bare feet as I walk closer to the water, only stopping once the tide begins to wash over my toes, before dropping to my ass in the sand and extending my legs in front of me.

I inhale and exhale, each breath matching the sea as it rolls in and out. The water washes over my ankles and calves as the breeze whips my hair all around. I close my eyes, hoping that all the chaos in my head disappears beneath the horizon along with the sun.

“It’s funny how much clarity there is to be found in the darkness.” Adam’s voice makes me jump, but I don’t turn around.

“What do you want, Adam?” I ask, opening my eyes to stare out at the water.

“That’s just the thing,” he replies, his voice softening as he comes closer. “I don’t know anymore, but everywhere I go, there you are. That sure as fuck isn’t helping me figure it out.”

Pushing to my feet, I turn to face him. “Well, I’m sorry, I didn’t know that the entire fucking town was sectioned off in to Ainsley versus Adam zones.” My hands gesture widely as I glare at him. “Maybe you should draw out the boundaries so that I can avoid them while I’m still here.”

“That’s not what I meant!” he exclaims, throwing my shoes to the sand angrily. “You’re here!” He shouts, slamming his hand against his chest violently. “I don’t want to love you anymore, Ainsley, I wish I hated you. You ruined everything because you’re a goddamn coward and I still can’t fucking hate you.”

Now it’s my turn to shout, the emotion of years of hurt building to crescendo and exploding from my chest like a rocket. “You abandoned me!” I scream, slamming my hands into his chest, his eyes going wide in shock at my attack. “You took his money and broke it off with me. I saw the papers and the check. I know everything!” I shout, unable to stop the tears from falling down my face. “You knew how I felt about the money, how I fucking hated it, and you jumped at the chance to take it.”

Adam’s eyes widen, his expression damn near murderous. “I didn’t take a dime from that old bastard and I sure as fuck wouldn’t have wanted you to get an abortion. I take care of what’s mine and you didn’t even give me the chance to.” My mouth drops open in shock as I register what he just said. My legs give out causing me to crumble to my knees in the sand. “I never wanted anything more than to marry you and make a family, Ainsley. You took that from me by letting them make those choices for you, instead of us making them together. I knew then where I stood in your eyes, that’s why I knew we could never work.”

Memories flood back making me dizzy, my breath rushes out of me in ragged pants as my chest heaves frantically.

The moon shone, full in the sky as I walked down to the beach and see Adam standing there staring out at the water. I smile, knowing that he is waiting for me, that my father was wrong when he told me Adam took the money and left town. “Hey,” I say sweetly, wrapping my arms around his middle, but he doesn’t move. He stands still, frigid and unreceptive of me.

“Your father came to see me last night.”

“I know,” I reply, wishing to every star in the sky in this moment that my father was lying about visiting Adam last night.

“This will never work, Ainsley. I need to end this now.” Just those words and my world comes crashing down at my feet. Slipping from my arms, he turns to face me, his face an expressionless mask. “I know now, that we want different things. Play time is over, time for us to both accept reality.”

I can’t move. I can’t breathe. “Adam,” I call out. He stops, but doesn’t turn around. Pain rips through me and it’s so excruciating that I nearly collapse. “I can’t believe you are doing this to us,” I murmur, wanting to hear it from his lips.

Lowering his head, Adam sighs, “There can’t be an ‘us’, not now.”

Without another word, Adam walked away, breaking my heart into a million pieces on the very beach where we now stand. I replay the words he said over and over, comparing them with now and I gasp as I realize the horrible truth.

“Adam, what are you talking about?” I whisper, covering my hands with my mouth. “I was never pregnant.”

“Can’t you even admit it?” he asks, shaking his head in disbelief when I look up at him. “I saw the test and paperwork from the clinic you went to in Boston. I didn’t take the money he offered me to go away, when he showed me that, the decision was made for me. I couldn’t bear to look at you once I knew what you had done.”

“I was never pregnant, Adam,” I repeat, pleading him with my eyes to hear me. “I thought he bought you, that he paid you to leave me. God, I can’t believe you took his word for it instead of asking me!”

Pushing to my feet, I pace the wet sand. When Adam says nothing, I turn and head up the beach away from him, leaving my shoes where they lay. I am pissed. I can’t believe the lengths my parents went to all because my father was playing a fucking game so that I would be too broken to fight when it came time to do his bidding. My own parents expected me to roll over like some trained puppy while they manipulated both Adam and me.

The only thing that hurts worse is that Adam believed it all and walked away without even asking me himself.

Adam

‡

A
insley wasn’t pregnant?
She honestly thought I would choose money over her? Thoughts echo in my head as I watch her stalk away from me down the beach. The waves come in again and again, washing away her footprints with every passing second, as if she was never here.

I walked from her life over four years ago thinking it was best. Fuck, that’s a lie. I walked away because I believed lies and did exactly what they wanted me to do. I broke her heart, and, in the process, broke a part of myself. We were manipulated like fucking puppets and if we had only listened to our hearts, instead of the bullshit, we could have been together this whole time. Four years of fucking wasted time, wasted heartbreak and agony.

“You. Broke. Me!”

Her words echo in my head, ripping at my heart. This may not have been either of our fault, but neither of us did what we should have done. Why didn’t I demand answers? Why didn’t she? We let the hurt blind us from the issue at hand: we didn’t trust each other enough to see through the lies. Nothing has been the same since that night. If I were being honest, I knew all along that I left the biggest part of me on the beach that night.