Blue Keltic Moon (Children of the Keltic Triad) (20 page)

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B
ack pressed against a smooth, tall boulder, Gowthaman watched Chance start a small fire of gray wood. The tiny flame rose, trailing a thin wisp of smoke. Intellectually, he knew the world between worlds stole the colors from life, but he was still startled by a flame snapping and crackling the dry wood in shades of gray. He chuckled and Bree turned worried eyes on him.

He indicated their location with a wave of his arm. “Do you remember the comedy you encouraged me to watch, about the legend of a doctor creating a man from parts of others?”

Her brows drew together. “Yes?”

He touched his chest then held his hand out and waggled his fingers. “Do we do not look the same as the actors in that movie?”

Chance elbowed Breanna. “Hey, that’s cool, Gowthaman. We can just pretend we’re in an old black and white movie. And you were worried about him.” The young man moved away to rummage through his pack.

Bold words Gowthaman didn’t believe. His observation had not been made to make their surroundings more acceptable, though if that were a benefit of his words, then so be it. But he had not spoken to ease the others. He had spoken the outrageous thoughts to keep from sinking into the depths of his frozen mind.

Breanna continued to watch him with cautious concern. He wanted to smile, to reassure her, but from the tightening of her expression realized he’d failed. What grimace had he given her, how much had he been unable to conceal?

Looking down at his hands, he forced himself to relax the tight curl of his fingers. Even if he were successful in hiding his emotions from the others, Breanna would know. She’d always known. Perhaps... no, he shook his head... that was one of the things he loved about her. One of the many things.

The others gathered around the small fire so he rose to join them, sitting by Breanna and earning her terse smile. She leaned close to whisper, “I’m glad Morghan found us so soon. It gives Coralie more time with him.”

“She kept the depth of her feelings well hidden until recently.” He understood how difficult that could be. Although perhaps containing the outward evidence of love was simpler when the object of one’s affection was not often close. Now Coralie happily let her love shine.

A knot, a jealous tightening in his chest made him look away and focus again on his hands. He had admitted his love to Breanna, but he could not yet show that love before the others. Lost in a fresh litany of failings, he listened half-heartedly to the conversation around the fire.

“Ye really did no’ need a fire,” Morghan stated. “An’ now that ye are here, ye will no’ need the food ye carried with ye.”

Coralie made a tsking sound and set a battered metal pot near the flame. “So it may be, but we decided to maintain a normal routine. An’ I must heat water to cleanse the wound on yer arm.”

Morghan covered the dirty strip of cloth with one hand. “’Twill heal without yer fussin’. Like everythin’ else here, there be no need.”

Coralie held out a gauze bandage, keeping the roll steady until he took it from her. With a soft smile, she untied the cloth and washed the nearly healed bite. When she finished her ministrations she said, “Even bein’ here only two days, we did no’ wish to chance the doldrums affectin’ us. Too much is at stake. With all of us together, we shall keep our sense of reality and purpose intact.” She smiled at Morghan, then reached out to cup the side of his face with her palm.

“Then normal we shall be. Ye did no’ happen to bring—”

Chance held up a crinkly, cellophane bag. “Coffee?”

Gowthaman found a grin for the Sindhu’s obvious delight.

“Although, it is instant,” Chance continued.

“’Tis no matter. I... Oh, for a few moments...”

Breanna reached into her pack and handed around energy bars. “I’d like to talk about what’s going to happen when it’s time to leave.”

Gowthaman drew a deep breath. This was why he was here.

Morghan nodded. “Ye shall do what ye need to do an’ return to where ye belong. I must remain to prevent the elemental from followin’.”

“Brandr Ur,” Breanna stated flatly.

“Aye. Even here territory is important. While I chose this patch of inhospitable ground as m’ own, he had chosen a much grander place a short distance from here.”

“Then we should post a guard.”

Morghan shook his head. “Nay, I dinna believe ’tis necessary. He said—”

“And you trust him?” Chance exploded.

Gowthaman focused on the young man, curious at the force of his outburst. A note of fear tainted Chance’s bravado though he glared boldly at Morghan.

“Water’s ready,” Coralie stated calmly. “I can offer ye coffee, or tea.”

Chance’s shoulders dropped and he spread the finger of one hand, offering a half-hearted, “Sorry.”

Breanna released a slow breath. She dug in her pack then held out a plastic mug. “Thanks, Coralie. Coffee for me.” After she sent silent thanks for diffusing her brother’s odd behavior, Coralie glanced up and winked. Bree could swear there were times the soft-spoken woman read her mind. Shouldn’t surprise her, each of them around the fire held secrets and magics the others knew nothing about. Her brother’s secrets... She held back a sigh. She needed to make time for him.

Later. Everything was always later. She needed a good dose of now.

Morghan made a contented, satisfied sound in his throat and lowered his mug. “Ah, nectar of the gods. I had forgotten.”

Bree let everyone enjoy the warm beverages in silence. When the contents of her own mug were half gone, she straightened and began laying out the plans for their return to the human world.

“U
h, Sis,” Chance interrupted an hour later.

Frustration huffed the breath from her lungs and she turned to Chance with a scowl. Although Morghan had long showed signs of wanting to end their discussion, undoubtedly to allow him to slip away with Coralie—not that she blamed either of them—but there was so much more she needed to know. “What?”

Chance blinked then squared his shoulders and set his chin defiantly. “You’d better take a look at Gowthaman.” Then his eyebrows rose and he jerked his head toward the spot where Gowthaman had moved away from the fire. She’d felt him drawing away mentally, long before he physically left her side.

Setting his mug on the ground, Morghan leaned forward. “He has been here afore.” Not a question, an astute observation.

Bree paused a moment before answering. “Yes. Actually, twice. But only in a place where there was no landscape, no anything but gray mist. He’s never said much about the experience.”

With a single nod Morghan eyed the space behind her with frank speculation filling his expression. “An’ he followed ye. Despite his fear.”

Heat filled her face, and Chance chuckled. “They’d follow each other anywhere. But neither of them will admit it.”

Morghan lifted Coralie’s hand and kissed her fingertips. “I ken. Ah, how well I ken. I ken as well how he fights his feelin’s an’ fear of this place.” He stretched forward until his face hovered close to the fire and lowered his voice. “I also ken he needs ye.”

Startled at the intensity of Morghan’s statement and prepared to deny his words, Bree sat back. But Coralie caught her attention, rose gracefully and motioned to that same spot behind Bree.

“’Tis been a long day, an’ night. I need... rest.” The look she gave Morghan spoke blatantly of other needs. Morghan returned her look with equal passion and stood, gathering her close to his side.

“Aye, a rest, my sweet love. Even I must rest.” He tucked a strand of Coralie’s curls behind her ear, fingers lingering at her hairline.

Coralie’s eyes opened wide with mock innocence. “I have somethin’ else for ye, milord.”

He winced at the honorific then cocked his head to one side. “Do ye now,
eudail
?”

Holding his gaze, she crouched and pulled a large plastic bottle from her pack. Morghan peered at her curiously while she slowly twisted the cap. She held the open bottle under his nose.

He inhaled and his eyelids drifted closed. “Seaflowers.”

“Aye.”

“Ye brought water from the loch.”

“Aye.”

Breanna couldn’t help but grin at the sparkle in Coralie’s eyes, as if stars twinkled there. The intimate moment twisted in her heart and she ducked her head. She would never begrudge Coralie any happiness she and Morghan could find in this dismal place, for they’d been waiting a long time. Bree understood waiting.

“Come,” Morghan said softly. “Shall we find then a place for our rest?” After Coralie’s suddenly shy nod, he turned to Breanna. Heat and the twinkle of stars lingered in his eyes as well and she wondered at the possibilities.

“’Tis safe enough, an’ we shall no’ be far.” Morghan’s gaze drifted toward Gowthaman then back to her. “Another secluded grotto lies in that direction, should ye need... privacy.”

Although his comment should have embarrassed her, there was something in his tone that redirected her thoughts toward serious matters.

Morghan and Coralie slipped between a pair of towering stone pillars. Bree took a deep breath then Chance touched her arm. “Really, Bree. Gowthaman needs you.”

She shook her head. “Maybe, but that doesn’t mean—”

“Stop right there. Don’t say anything.” Chance poked her shoulder. “You haven’t even looked at him in the past half hour. He. Needs. You. Now. I’m going to keep watch. Despite what Morghan says, I’m not trusting that the elemental won’t try something.”

The increasingly familiar distracted look crossed his expression when he paused to take a breath, but cleared rapidly. “No, I’m going to keep watch anyway.”

“Okay, I think that’s a good idea. If you want to take the first—”

He poked her shoulder. One jab punctuated each word. “Gowthaman. Needs. You.”

She grabbed his finger and twisted.

“Ow. Geez, Bree. Turn around and see for yourself. I’ll be...” He pointed back over his shoulder. “Up on that ridge.”

After an indecipherable grimace, he turned, scooped up his pack and both swords and stalked away. Bree watched him as he climbed the ridge and settled into the shadows of the rocky ledge. Then, bracing her scattered emotions, she turned.

Knees drawn tight to his chest, Gowthaman sat unnaturally still just beyond the reach of the firelight. No, she amended, not still. He rocked nearly imperceptibly in the gray night. Arms locked around his legs, spine arched until his forehead pressed to his knees, the man she loved suffered in the bonds of mental torment.

How much had she contributed to his pain? After he had spoken of love, she had turned to other matters and purposely ignored him.

“Oh, Gowthaman.”

Even lost in memories, Gowthaman knew the moment Breanna turned her attention to him, but it was too late. No longer could he restrain the powerful images or fight the rush of the past. Emotions and events he’d forced himself to forget—as much as he was able—demanded his attention. All now. All powerful. All agonizing.

If he could have moved away, found that secluded place Morghan had spoken of, away from the others, he would have slunk there, crawled on his belly, and hidden until the past receded once again.

But he could not. The past held him as surely as the manacles had bound him in that dank, Faerie dungeon. And no less gently.

The air of the world between worlds, thick and cool as the touch of silk upon his skin, swirled over him when Breanna knelt. Unable to meet her gaze, he kept his head lowered. Such was a proper position of shame.

She leaned close and her words whispered across his cheek chasing the chill. “I’m going to help you. Now. Please don’t try and stop me this time.”

His automatic denial died before reaching his lips. As repugnant as the thought of her discovering the complete truth of his past was, intellectually he knew he was of no benefit to the mission in this condition. Perhaps he could accept a small comfort, enough to allow him his usefulness for two days.

“I know what you’re thinking, Gowtham. That won’t work. It’s all or nothing this time. I will not accept nothing. It’s not just for you. I need to do this for everyone. We need to get home, and you hold the key to the knowledge we need.”

Her words were spoken softly like a lover’s whisper, yet even through the dark haze of his mind, he heard the determination. She would not allow him to prevaricate, to hide his torments from her. This time, she would have her way.

With aching slowness he nodded, but did not lift his head. “It shall be as you say.”

She curled her hand over the back of his head, softly stroking his hair. “I love you, Gowthaman. That’s the main reason I have to do this. I’ve never... never been able to stand watching you fight and suffer for the happenings in your past. Knowing I could help. Knowing you refused me.”

“I will not refuse you. I... trust you.” Once the horrific internal struggle to force the words past his lips was conquered, a measure of weight lifted from his heart.

“I need to touch you. Here.” Caution filled Breanna’s voice when she moved her fingertips to his temple.

“I know.”

“There’s no one...” Breanna paused then continued, “No one to see. Morghan and Coralie have gone somewhere private.”

“I know.”

“Chance is keeping watch, but he’s—”

“I know.” Gowthaman lifted his head. “It does not matter if any witness. Could the healing be any more revealing than what I have become here? By the desert sun, Breanna, my
sundarii
, I must be able to think, to function.” He lifted his hands, wincing at the uncontrollable tremors. “I will not add to your concerns.”

She cast him a weak smile and settled cross-legged before him. “You’ve always been my concern. You always will be. This... this I can do something about.”

Clasping his hands at his shins, he whispered. “I know.”

“I’m not going to hurt you. I won’t let this pain, or your memories hurt you like this again.”

As she lifted her hands to his face and lightly rested her fingers against his temples, he closed his eyes. He lingered in denial for a moment, then surrendered to her touch and the opening of his memories.