Blue Streak: A Blue Series Novella (9 page)

His expression is serious as he says, “That’s pretty cool that you have sisters. I never knew.”

“You never asked, or seemed interested.”

Zach swallows and glances away. “I’ve always cared. I was just—trying to keep things neutral.”

“Why is that?”

He props his elbow on the table and absently plays with the salt and pepper shakers. “You’re beautiful, sweet—look at the family you come from. My family is… well, you know.”

“I know a little. But Zach, I don’t care about your family. I care about you. I like
you
.”

He gives me a quick smile. “Cutie—and don’t give me grief about the nickname. It’s how I see you. Sweet, beautiful girl. Only, I enjoy imagining you with your clothes off too.” A naughty closed-mouth grin twists his full lips.

Cutie
isn’t so bad when he puts it in that context. “I can live with that.”

We dig into our food, and I know from experience that Zach can’t talk while he’s wolfing down his meal. So I wait until he slows his pace, and then I lay it on him—the question I’ve wanted to ask but never have.

“What happened to your mom, Zach?”

His eyes dart to the side. He sips his water and wipes his mouth. “My mom fell and hit her head several years ago. She never recovered.” He looks up, searching my face, but I’m watching him, waiting for more. “She was out with my dad and some friends. It was my junior year of high school. She’d been drinking. I wouldn’t call my mom an alcoholic, because she realized she was drinking too much at one point and toned it down. But the night of the accident she drank too much. They were at a party held by some rich Tahoe nob and his wife. There was a large stone staircase.” He stops and takes a deep breath, tossing his napkin on the table as if he’s lost his appetite.

“You don’t have to talk about it if it’s too painful.”

“No, it’s okay. It’s just—it was so senseless, you know? One minute she’s a wife and mother, working as an admin for a local dentist, and running circles around me and my dad. And the next…”

I reach across the table and link our fingers, staring at our hands together.

“She fell down the stairs, hit her head, and that was it. Lights out. She didn’t die, but she lost everything. My mom has been in a long-term care facility ever since. I visit about once a month, and my dad does too, but there’s not much point. She isn’t on ventilators or anything, she’s just”—he shakes his head—“not there anymore.”

“What does that mean?”

“Her brain swelled after she fell. She was in a coma for a while. When she woke, she was almost entirely unresponsive. She’s been in rehab for years, but there’s been little improvement. The doctors say her brain is permanently damaged. She blinks, does all the autonomic things like swallowing, but she needs to be fed, because although she can lift her hands, she doesn’t have the motor skills to hold a fork. She doesn’t recognize faces. She doesn’t know I’m there.”

The urge to reach across the table and hug him overwhelms me, but I hold myself back. This is our first date and I don’t want to overstep, which is laughable given what we did last night, but there it is.

Overnight, Zach lost his mother. He may be able to see her, touch her, but she’s gone to him. My mom is the rock in our family. I can’t imagine losing her so young, or not having my sisters to lean on, annoying as they can be. “I’m sorry, Zach. I shouldn’t have asked.”

“No.” He looks up. “I want you to know. I miss my mom, but it’s been a long time since the accident. I’m one of the lucky ones. I had a good parent. I’m grateful to have had her for as long as I did.”

I don’t understand how he can call himself lucky. It sounds tragic. But I think what he’s saying is that it could be worse. Mira’s drug-addicted mother comes to mind. That’s something that can ruin a person, but Mira is resilient. She’s grown from the experiences she’s had. Zach is resilient too; he just doesn’t give himself enough credit.

“Well, I think your mom raised a good son.”

He stares into my eyes. “I’m no good, Nessa.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s true. That woman you saw me with? The one you asked about?” He drops my hand and rubs his fingers over his mouth. “You were right. It was a fucked-up situation, and it went on for too long. I’m not seeing her anymore, but what I did—holding on to a relationship I knew was wrong—it was messed up.”

The pit of my stomach sinks. It’s what I surmised, seeing them together, but to have my fears confirmed? Zach has been with many women, but this lady may have been the most constant in his adult life. How will that affect him moving forward?

“Is it really over?”

“Yes. And that has nothing to do with you. Well, maybe a little, but it’s been something I’ve planned to end for a long time. I haven’t wanted to rock the boat, but now I don’t give a shit.”

“Are you—seeing anyone else?”

“No.”

“So it’s just me?”

“Absolutely.” He scrubs his jaw. “You’re not, you know, dating that Sal character?” I shake my head. “Good, that’s good.”

“Is it? Is this really what you want, Zach?”

He huffs out a chuckle. “I don’t deserve you, but yeah, it’s what I want.” He leans across the table and kisses me lightly on the lips. Not only does it send a zing down my spine, but I feel like the luckiest, happiest girl alive.

The waitress hands Zach the bill and he pays it, not letting me even get the tip. We drive back to my place and he walks me to the door.

“Do you want to come in?” I ask. It’s ridiculously late, but I don’t want to say good night just yet.

He runs his thumb along my jaw, his fingers dropping to trace the hickey he left on my neck. His eyes sparkle for a moment, but then his expression sobers. “I should get going.”

“Are you sure?” I smile, and if there’s a hint of suggestiveness in it, that can’t be helped. I’m thinking about last night and how much I want him. He’s so close, but for some reason, he still seems so out of reach.

“Yeah.” His eyes are intense, staring at my lips. He grabs my hand and drags me to his chest. “But tomorrow—see if you can get off early? I want to take you on a real date.”

My heart pounds so hard I wonder if he can feel it through his shirt, which would be embarrassing. “This wasn’t a real date?”

He kisses the corner of my mouth, teasing me. “Hmm, it was, but I want an official one. A date where I ask you out in advance. You deserve the best, Nessa, and I want to give that to you.”

I lean back and look him in the eyes, trying to gauge what’s going on inside his guy head. “I’m not perfect, Zach. You should know this by now. I don’t cook well, I chew gum like a baseball player, and I’m short—though I
am
concentrated awesome.”

He smiles. “You’re perfect to me.”

Zach

L
eaving Nessa on
her doorstep last night tested all of my self-control. Everything inside me clamored to throw her over my shoulder, charge into her bedroom, and repeat what we’d done the night before. I held myself back by a hair, and managed to turn my ass around and walk to my truck. Alone.

Tonight there’ll be no holding back. Tonight, I want to show Nessa how much she means to me, and how serious I am about her.

I talked another dealer into covering the second half of my shift so I can get off early. I’ll have to pull a double to make it up, but it’s worth it. Nessa deserves a nice restaurant, not one of the cheap diners that are open all night. I could put off our date until we both have a day off, but the last thing I want to do is wait. I can’t explain it, but I need to reassure myself that this thing between us is real. I’m out of my league, no idea what I’m doing, but Nessa deserves the best I have to give.

Blue is packed, a sea of bodies swarming the casino floor, yet I still catch sight of my dad weaving his way toward my table. He doesn’t walk with an entourage like the other whales, but the man has presence. And he knows half the workers in the joint, greeting people with a broad smile and a pat on the back as he crosses the floor.

Dad sits at my table and tosses a barney on the felt. “Zach.” He nods in greeting.

I shake my head. I hate playing against him, especially when he’s wasting half a grand on the house. Stresses me out. I have my own cash now, but I can’t help worrying about my dad and his “luck.”

“What’s up?”

“Just making the rounds.”

“How was Reno?”

He flashes a predatory smile. “Profitable.”

At least he won in Reno.

“Saw Alexis on my way in.”

My hands freeze for a split second, until I snap the fuck out of it and deal the next hand. “Oh yeah?” I say with as little emotion as I can manage. I would be happy to never see Alexis again, but there’s no chance of that with her affinity for the table.

“Said she’s got a new protector.”

I glance up. “Protector?”

My dad signals for another card. I deal it and tend to the other players.

“Alexis has her own money, but she likes to live off of”—he coughs, glancing at the others at the table, who don’t seem to be paying attention—“the men she spends time with.”

My dad and Alexis run in the same circles, what with their mutual love of gaming. He would know more about her life than I do. I was just the plaything.

I knew Alexis had other men on the side. Rich, powerful men who gave her things. She sure as hell didn’t have the cash she does now back when she was married and hung out with my parents during my high school years.

“You still spend time with her ex-husband?” Jim was a good guy. My impression—now that I’m older and world-wearier—is that Alexis worked him over.

“I see him from time to time. See Alexis more. Jim doesn’t have the cash to play the tables that Alexis does. She’s a character, that one. Was there the night…”

My dad’s face turns strained, pale—this from a man who is perpetually tanned. “The night what?” I prod.

He clears his throat. “The night your mom fell.”

I’m not sure what my dad’s love life is like these days. I’d rather not know, but I’ve never seen him with another woman. He loved my mom, end of story.

I clear the cards. House wins and my dad is out a barney. For him, to gain and lose thousands in a night is nothing.

“Mom and Alexis were best friends. I’m not surprised you guys were hanging out the night it happened,” I say.

My dad’s eyes skim the new cards I dealt face up. “She was the last person to talk to your mother.”

I blink, registering his words. I’d always assumed my dad was the last person to talk to my mom.

The pit boss taps me on the shoulder. “Everything okay?” He looks at my dad. “How are you doing, Mr. Elliott?”

My dad and the pit boss chat it up, while I pull my shit together and deal cards to the players who hit this round.

“I never knew that,” I tell my dad once the pit boss moves on.

“Yeah, well, what’s done is done. Nothing we can do about it now, just the cards we’ve been dealt.” I roll my eyes at his pun. “Always wondered, though, what happened between your mother and Alexis. Your mom was real upset that night.”

“You were there. Don’t you know?”

He shrugs. “They were in some kind of catfight. Jim and I were smoking cigars. I figured the ladies would work it out. Now I wish—I wish I’d intervened. Your mom hit the bottle hard that night, angry about something Alexis had said.”

My mind is racing. I’m thinking back to when Alexis and I began our affair. As soon as I turned fifteen she started flirting with me, touching my arm when no one was looking, hugging me a little too long when she said hello.

That was before my mom fell and became a vegetable.

My dad doesn’t second-guess his decisions. “Dad, why are you bringing this up after all these years?”

He doesn’t say anything at first. He studies his hand while I wait an eternity for him to answer. “I’ve seen the way Alexis looks at you. I just want what’s best for my son. I’ve been in a bad place since your mom fell. I’m slowly coming out of it. Some things are clearer. Just want to see you happy, that’s all.”

I thought no one knew about Alexis and me. Turns out I underestimated my dad’s powers of observation again.

My dad plays a few more hands, then stands, stretching his back. “All right, Zach, I’m taking off. Not a winning night for me. I’ll see you in a couple of weeks?”

“Sure. You planning on coming through again?”

“I’ve got a thing in Arizona. I’ll be back after that.”

“Arizona?”

“Your old man’s got lady friends too, you know.” He pulls his shoulders square, his expression a bit sheepish.

No, I didn’t know. This is a new development.

“How’s
your
friend?” he asks. “The one who left you the other morning?”

Of course he’d bring up Nessa’s deserting me. My dad may have an unconventional job, but he’s traditional in some ways. My refusal to settle down with a girl—
ever
—has been a point of contention. He’s rubbing it in that one of them finally stood me up. Not that it’s what happened. Nessa running out was a matter of miscommunication. She thought I’d treat our relationship like any other hookup, and that’s not the case.

“Taking her out tonight,” I say, a little too smugly.

“Good.” He pats me on the shoulder. “See you around, son.”

I track my father’s progress toward the exit as he says his farewells to waitresses, bartenders, a few dealers. Then I wait while the hours pass by more slowly than they ever have in my entire life. I can’t get out of here fast enough.

I texted Nessa earlier to make sure we’re still on for this evening. She said she had one thing to do with Mira, then she’d be ready. We’re meeting up after work, and I cannot wait to get my hands on her.

I held off last night, trying to be a gentleman—who would have thought, right? But tonight—tonight I’m not holding back. Time to make sure Nessa and I are on the same page about this thing we have going on. And if I have my way, she’ll know she’s mine and I’m hers.

The thought makes me so damn proud.

What do you know? For the first time in a while—or ever, for me—both Elliott men have someone special in their lives.