Blurred Lines (Behind Closed Doors Book 2) (20 page)

“So you can lose me? Aw, hell no, AJ.” Rylan tosses the helmet back at her. “Where are you going?”

“We’re going home,” she snaps and then climbs into the driver's seat. The gas pedal hits the floor and we’re doing zero to one hundred in seconds. Ashleigh’s reaching for the control to the electric gates and not looking where she’s going, but she never misses a curve or a fork in the road. The Bentley convertible screeches as we turn into her estate. She picks up speed as we head down the mile long driveway through her private gardens until we skid to a stop at the front of her house.

She slams the driver side door, marches up the steps and into her house and the study where her assistant is working. “Take the rest of the day off, Mel.” This isn't a request.

Mel looks up at Mimi and I follow Ashleigh into the study. “But the premiere ...is... tonight...” Her words die away. She nods, closes her laptop. “See you tonight then.” She closes the study door as she leaves.

“Mimi.” Ashleigh walks around the desk and opens the laptop again. “What flight are you on?” I'm not sure what's going on. I’m still shell-shocked from the 'good' news. Mimi gives Ash the flight number and Ashleigh picks up the phone. She dials a number and asks for a seat on Mimi's flight tonight. For me!

“What are you doing?!”

“I'm sending you to New York.” She says matter of fact.

That sits in my stomach like a stone. “No.” I shake my head. “He'd kill me.”

“That's why you're going to New York,” she argues. “You're going to stay with your Mom and Dad until I can get in touch with my contacts and make arrangements, and then you and the baby are going somewhere he’ll never find you. And only I will know where.”

“You're freaking crazy!” Mimi steps between us. “You can't do this.”

“Stay out of this.” She pushes Mimi aside.

“You promised you'd let me go,” I remind her. “You said you wouldn't argue.”

“It's one thing to let you live in that environment, but is another to let you bring an innocent child into it.”

“Can you stop this? Ashleigh, please.” I beg. “I keep telling you Wayne has never touched me. It's me. I'm the one who has the accidents. It's not his fault.”

“I guess introducing you to Caleb wasn't enough, and I also need to introduce you to Georgia and her sisters.” The anger in her voice forces me to look at her. She’s serious. She really does think Wayne is abusive and I need rescuing. “I'd love to introduce you to their mother, but there was no best friend planning an escape for her.” Both Mimi and I gasp at the same time. “She was beaten to death by her ex-husband, who according to Faith, wasn’t abusive either!”

It's the first time Ashleigh has raised her voice to me since the night I stole Wayne from her. She had the same determined glare, but this time I don't fear for my life, I fear for Wayne's. Ashleigh will kill him the moment she learns I'm so terrified my husband will hurt me when he's angry that I hurt myself trying to get away.

The thought rattles around my mind and it's like the world has stood still as my life with Wayne flashes before my eyes. I know it would only get worse as their fight over me intensifies. Wayne is right. We only ever argue when Ashleigh interferes in our marriage. I have to put a stop to this and the only way I know how is to quit my job and walk away from her. But … She’s also right. I can't live my life terrified of him and I don't want our children to grow up in fear of him either.

Maybe I should go to New York? And maybe when I'm there I can convince both of them to be rational about this? Maybe I can ask him to get another job chasing non-crazy people?

No. I can't. He'll be angry when he comes home tonight and finds out that I've left him and he’ll have no idea why. I can’t do that to him again. But if I try to explain, he'll say Ashleigh has gone too far this time. He’ll make me choose between her and him and of course, I'll never see her again.

I find myself nodding at her, knowing that by doing so I’ve made my choice between them and my choice is her. Wayne is right. I just can't say no to her.

#

On the way home, I ask the driver to stop at the drug store. What if the doctor was wrong? Then we could forget all about this and go back to the way things were. I need to check the results myself. So I go home and I pee on the stick. I wait three very long and very agonizing minutes for the result I need to make all of this go away.

It didn't come.

Instead, it's the same result the doctor told me over the phone. My heart sinks. Ashleigh is right. I can't stay after all. The first thing I do is strip off the dress Wayne's bought me and head into our closet. I need comfortable clothes to travel in. Travel in? I can't believe I'm going to do this. I'm going to leave him, albeit temporarily, it’s leaving him all the same. But I need him to see he couldn't control his temper. But how do I just go? And without saying anything at all?

My heart tugs and my nerves crawl through my limbs, leaving me weak and unsteady. He won't be home before Mimi comes here on the way to the airport but I ... I can't... I can't leave him. He'll be furious when he comes home and I'm gone. He'll come after me just like before. What if this pushes him over the edge?

I'd never forgive myself if he hurt me because of this. So I've changed my mind. I'm not leaving. I schedule an email to send to Ashleigh while she’s on the red carpet. I know the only way I can make Ashleigh listen is by addressing it to Krystal. Krystal isn’t my friend, she’s my boss.

The front door bursts open.

I scramble to the window to see Wayne’s car in the drive. His heavy footsteps pound on the stairs as I head towards the furious sound. We both enter the bedroom from different doors, both stop and stare at one another. His eyes darken, and I know he knows.

“Hey, precious.” He sounds angry as he walks towards me. Normally he'd kiss me, but this time he backs me into our walk in closet. “I've just come to change my shirt and freshen up.” He turns away, but I notice he's missing that telltale sign of truth, that cute little boy innocence in his confusion, so I know he's lying to me. He can't know, I tell myself, it's not possible.

His eyes sweep across the racks and shelves and then he spins and leaves me where I stand. He stops just outside the door. He looks around the bedroom before his gaze locks with mine for a second time. Anger flashes across his expression and my heart jumps into my throat. It's obvious he's looking for something. He does know and he wants the proof before he makes his accusations.

I try to pretend this is an ordinary day. I step towards him as I ask if everything is okay like we've done this a million times before. He doesn't answer. He walks into our en suite bathroom and slams the door. Then I realize the pregnancy test is still on the counter where I dropped it.

I back up out of horror. I reach for the nearest clothes I can find. This should be the most joyous moment of our lives, yet I'm standing on the edge of a panic attack because he knows I'm leaving him and now he also knows why.

Chapter Twenty-One

Seconds dragged on for eternity. It feels like I've been suspended in the middle of purgatory waiting for my soul to be claimed by either heaven or hell. I have no idea how he'll react. Surely, I should be happier about telling my husband we’re expecting our first child. After all, this baby is a miracle for us.

I've already slipped into black denim jeans and a matching black baby doll style vest by the time he leaves the bathroom. And even though it's still summer and humid as hell outside, I shiver as the door creeps open at a snail's pace.

He doesn't even look up from the stick in his hands as he crosses our bedroom. His face is void of all color or expression. I have no clues to what is going through his mind. All I can think is that he knows I'm pregnant and somehow he knows I was leaving him. There's no way he'll let that happen. Not now. He'll kill me before he'll let Ashleigh win. I don't know why I think like this.

My heart beat pounds in my ears. My lips sip in so little oxygen my lungs burn. My gaze is locked on him and the muscles in my entire body clench as he approaches. Adrenaline spikes as he closes the last few inches between us. His hand reaches around the back of my neck. His cold fingers pull me towards him. I have no choice but to step into the sweetest, most loving kiss of my entire life. Guilt consumes me. How had I ever considered leaving him?

Ashleigh has come between us again. But not anymore. I won't let her because the man I love is sweet, caring, and kind, who, in light of our amazing news, controls his temper regardless of everything he knew and feels up until this moment. God, how I love him.

His hand slides across the tiny curve of my tummy as he looks down at it. A small, adorable smile caresses his features as he crouches before me. He lifts the hem of my vest and presses a gentle kiss below my navel. “Hello, little princess.”

My hands grip his shoulders as my knees buckle. Oh my God!

Those big dark eyes look up at me. His smile spreads wider across his face. “I'm so proud of you.” As the relief and joy seep through it's so hard not to see how much our failing to get pregnant had affected him. He looks almost ten years younger. Happy. He reacts to this news the exact way I should have reacted. He tugs me into his lap and kisses me. It’s just like we’re newly-weds all over again. It’s so loving, and so tender I melt into him and the moment.

And under the waterfall of precious kisses, it begins.

“You have to stop working so hard,” he says. “You have a tiny miracle growing inside you and I have to protect the both of you from now on. Your condition is too delicate to be jostled by her fans and the paparazzi.” He lifts his head and I see everything written in his eyes; the concern, the worry, the need to be in control. “Precious, we can't let anything happen to either of you.” His hand caresses my cheek as he continues. “I love you. You're going to make a brilliant mommy. We just have to keep the both of you safe.”

My heart shatters into a thousand chards of glass. I don't want him to wrap me up in an indestructible bubble. He'll never give me the freedom to live my life again. I couldn't...I know I shouldn’t… this isn't fair to him. But there was only one way I can make him see he’s smothering me, because he’s only going to get worse. I have to leave.

“I'm going to cancel boys night and you and me, we're going to celebrate.” My eyes fill with tears. Now what am I going to do? “Oh, precious, don't cry.”

These are not happy tears. I'm trapped. If Ashleigh came to pick me up then I know she won't leave without me. But Mimi will. She will go when I tell her I've changed my mind. I'm stuck. My tears fall thicker and faster because I don't have the strength to do what needs to be done… it’s hideous.

“My precious jewel.” His palm sweeps away my tears. “You know I love you, don't you?” I do and it only breaks my heart further. “Please.” He places his cheek against mine. “Tell me what's wrong.”

I don't know where it came from. I've never lied to him before. I know exactly what will happen when he hears these words, but I say them anyway. “It's a false positive.”

His smile falls to a grim line. His eyes search my expression for a few seconds before he asks, “Did you take another one?”

I shake my head. “I’m late,” I explain. “So I bought the test. And then I went to the clinic this afternoon. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to get your hopes up.”

He pulls away from me so quick I feel a back draft from his movement. His nostrils flare. His eyes darken and he watches my every move. “So you're not pregnant?”

I lie again. What kind of a woman tells the man she loves that she isn't pregnant when she is? What kind of a woman keeps their baby secret from the man she loves when it's all he's wanted for the last two and a half years? I'm selfish. How can I do this? All he wants is to keep me safe. To protect me! I really do suck at being a decent human being.

“How could you lie to me?” he whispers and I gasp. How did he know I'd lied to him? What gave me away? “How could you let me get my hopes up like that, Julia?”

He explodes. A tirade of verbal abuse rains on me. He assassinates my character, my duty as his wife, accuses me of deliberately sabotaging our attempts to have children by working so hard. He calls me every filthy name he can think of as his temper climbs higher and higher.

I shrink further and further into my fear. I can't do it. I can't provoke him. He looks like he’s going to strike me at any moment. I scramble to my feet and run down the stairs. He’s hot on my heels, shouting more awful words I don’t ever want to repeat.

He grabs the fleshy part of my right arm. He spins me around to face him. “Where do you think you're going?” His grip tightens around my arm and he laughs at me. “Do you honestly think I'd let you leave me again now that you’re carrying my child?”

I gasp. But how does he know?

“She told me, Julia.” He laughs again as his hand tightens around my arm. “She couldn’t wait to tell me how she’d finally scared you into going to your parents.”

Who, Ashleigh? She would never betray me like that. I struggle against his grip but he just grabs me with both hands. “Stupid bitch thought I would be happy you were gone and we’d go public with our affair.”

Ashleigh would never go public with any relationship, let alone an affair with — wait, what? “Your
affair
?” His admission is like a thousand needles in my heart. “You and Ashleigh are—” I can’t even say it. Mimi was right. He’s sleeping with Ashleigh. But why would Sean keep something like this from me?

Wayne grips me much harder and the blood rushes to where his fingers pinch at my skin. “That bitch waited ten years to get revenge and in the end she’s the one who looks foolish. You are my wife and you are carrying my child,” he tells me. “You belong to me, Julia, do you understand? You're mine and you always will be.”

The front door bursts open. Mimi’s voice barely reaches over the sound of blood as it pounds in my ears. Even as she lunges forward and grabs at Wayne's hands, she sounds a million miles away. All I see is the red tempered glow in Wayne's furious expression, the intense glare as he holds me still and yet throws her off without looking. He holds me so tight. I don't register what he shouts at her. He shakes me and he screams, “That's my little princess you’re carrying and she'll never take her away from me.”