Blush (8 page)

“Shall we reschedule, then?” Dr. Gill spoke after a pause, and Maddy sensed that the doctor was surprised Maddy hadn’t brought the subject up by herself. “Tomorrow at five o’clock? I have had a cancellation.”

Hurriedly, Maddy agreed to the appointment and ended the call. Right at that moment, she couldn’t think of anything beyond Alex’s touch.

“What appointment did you miss?” Alex removed his hands, and Maddy’s first thought was to despair the loss of his caress.

“Just . . . an appointment with my therapist.” It wasn’t a shameful thing, seeing a therapist. In fact, she was proud of herself for taking control of her life, but she just didn’t want to go into detail with this man, this beautiful man who had so unexpectedly entered her life.

Alex studied her for a long moment, nodding, but the look on his face was hard to decipher. “I see.”

•   •   •

A
lex’s gut tightened as he examined Maddy’s face for a long moment, then turned to cross the room.

All throughout breakfast, he’d been convinced that he’d gotten lucky, that Maddy might just be perfect for him.

Then, though she couldn’t have known how he felt about the subject, she’d mentioned therapy, specifically
her
therapist.

If Alex believed in such things, he would have said that the universe was trying to tell him something.

I can’t do this
. Therapy might have been an unlikely sticking point, but it was a deal breaker for him.

“Will I see you again?” Maddy’s voice was soft behind him, soft but strong. It stopped him in his tracks.

Most women would never have dared to ask him something so bold.

Madeline Stone was far stronger than most women.

No. Alex thought back to his own experience in therapy and shuddered. He’d been hardly more than a teenager, had been confused by his sexual need for control.

It hadn’t gone well. And that was just a reminder that he was better off with one of the women from In Vino Veritas, one of the women who knew the score, even if it didn’t fulfill him totally.

Steeling himself, Alex didn’t reply.

The scrape of a chair told him that Maddy was now standing. He turned to face her—he owed her that.

“I’m not what you need, Maddy.” His voice was a whisper.

Hesitantly, she crossed the floor to him. God, but he wanted to see her again, more than he’d wanted anything, ever.

She whispered, too. “Let me decide what I want.”

“Therein lies the problem.” Alex’s lips quirked up in a smile that held no amusement.

Maddy looked puzzled in response. She reached out and traced a finger slowly over the ink of the tattoo that was peeking out from the sleeve of his shirt. He closed his eyes against the feeling of her soft, tentative fingers on his skin.

Yes, he wanted her, but he wouldn’t take her.

“I have to go, Madeline.” Her fingers clenched on his arm, her nails digging into his skin. They both looked down at where they were touching, her pale fingers with the neat oblong nails, his skin, tanned golden from the sun and stretched tightly over solid muscle.

“Fuck.” Alex’s body moved so fast that his brain didn’t have a chance to catch up. Then his hands were fisted in the length of her hair and she was pinioned beneath him against the wall. His hips pressed into the soft curve of her belly as he kissed her with all the pent-up desire and frustration he’d felt since he’d met her.

His tongue parted her lips roughly, demanding entrance. He traced the pattern of her teeth, her tongue, staking his claim, nipping at her lip sharply. Then, as quickly as it had begun, it was over. Pulling his hands from the tangles of her hair, he released her, and Maddy leaned against the cool plaster of the wall, wide-eyed and panting.

“Fuck.” Alex cursed as he watched her lift her hand tentatively to touch lips swollen from the assault. She moved her mouth, but nothing came out.

“Maddy. We can’t do this.” Alex choked out the words before turning and slamming the screen door behind him. He was furious with himself for losing control, for tasting her again.

No matter what his mind said, he knew that one taste was never going to be enough.

A
t her appointment with Dr. Gill the next day, Maddy knew she was holding back. She was pretty sure that the doctor knew it, too, but Dr. Gill had never been one to press, instead preferring her patients to come to their own conclusions.

“Have you set any goals for the next week, Maddy? Anything off of your list?” Dr. Gill asked this as Maddy was slinging the strap of her purse over her shoulder. Maddy paused, not entirely sure of how to answer.

She had found something new that she wanted to explore—namely, Alex Fraser. However, he wasn’t cooperating, and Maddy had no illusions about who was going to win the battle.

“I haven’t quite decided yet, Dr. Gill. I’ll think about it.” The other woman smiled at her, her expression comforting as she gathered up her notes.

“Don’t make it a hugely stressful event if you’re already feeling uptight, Maddy. It can be as simple as filling up your car at a new gas station. The important thing is just to do something, to push yourself into taking forward steps.”

Maddy sighed as she left the office. Her footsteps were muffled by the industrial carpeting.

Surprisingly, Alex calmed her nerves. His presence in her life had soothed her in a way she’d never expected. Around him, she could probably go to a new gas station every day of the damn week.

Buck up, Maddy
. Alex had made his decision. Instead of feeling wistful, wondering what had gone wrong, Maddy found that she was angry.

There was something between them. She had no idea why it was there, but it nevertheless existed. The fact that he was fighting it so hard pissed her off.

•   •   •

M
addy pushed through the glass door of the building, stepping out into the late-afternoon sunlight, where she found Alex leaning against the dinged metal of her car.

“Well, shit.” It gave her a start, the juxtaposition of the magazine-perfect man and something that belonged to her.

“What are you doing here?” Nerves clung to her like static-charged fabric, neutralizing some of her anger. By showing up, Alex had thrown her off her game—well, more so than she’d already been—and she was having trouble telling which way was up.

She wasn’t sad, though. This was new. Normally, an hour spent with Dr. Gill meant an hour spent crying, and she would emerge shaking and exhausted.

Alex waited a minute before responding, and it seemed as though he didn’t quite know how to answer her question. “I couldn’t stay away.” His face was serious as he spoke, and Maddy knew that he was speaking the truth.

“Why?” She couldn’t help but ask the question. She didn’t think she had low self-esteem, but she was just an average woman—she was a waitress, she had average looks, she’d never done anything very special with her life. He was akin to a movie star—unnaturally beautiful, rich beyond her wildest dreams, and fascinating.

It just didn’t match up, at least not in her head.

Alex shook his head in answer to her question, and Maddy knew that he wasn’t going to answer. Instead he changed the subject.

“Why do you think you need to see a therapist?” His voice was flat, and Maddy understood immediately that he didn’t approve.

She could deal with him not approving of her seeing a shrink, although she didn’t think it was any of his concern and felt belligerent that he couldn’t understand why someone would meet with a therapist. “It’s none of your business.” The words slipped from her mouth before she could stop them and she barely suppressed her cringe—she’d just told off Vegas’s equivalent of Brad Pitt.

Maddy waited for him to leave. He didn’t, though he did look a bit stunned that she hadn’t acquiesced to his unspoken request to stop seeing Dr. Gill immediately. The stunned look gave way to severe irritation, and Maddy was gratified when he appeared to swallow it down.

She took courage in the fact that he hadn’t left her standing alone on asphalt so hot that she could see the air shimmering directly above its sticky surface.

“How did you find me?”

Alex quirked an eyebrow, and Maddy realized that he wasn’t used to being questioned. Nor, did she think, was he used to explaining himself, since he didn’t look the least bit embarrassed at the fact that he’d done something rather stalkerlike in waiting outside of her car, outside of her therapist’s office.

“I have a PI on retainer.” His tone was matter-of-fact—doesn’t
everyone
have a private eye on call? Maddy shook her head slowly, bewildered.

“But why would you go to that trouble?” The look in his eyes told Maddy that he knew what she was asking—not why did he have a private eye on retainer, but why had he used his services on her? Why on earth would he go out of his way to track her down? After all, he had already turned her down.

Once again, he didn’t answer what she’d asked, but instead asked her a question in turn.

“Would you accompany me to the casino tonight?” Alex stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans—nice ones again, not the worn ones of the night before, Maddy noticed. He looked young, cocky, powerful—it made her mouth dry.

The visage of Massimo, the owner of A Casino in Paradise, flashed through Maddy’s head, and she shuddered. Something about him discomforted her, and she told Alex so.

He shook his head and pinned her with that cerulean stare again. “No. El Diablo—my casino. Come have dinner with me.”

Heat washed over Maddy in a tidal wave, followed by the sensation of a million hummingbirds flocking through her veins. Did that mean what she thought it meant? She couldn’t. She shouldn’t.

Should she?

“Say yes.” When he looked at her like that, she knew there was no way she would say anything else. She wanted to be with this man in a way that astounded her. Even though he ran hot and cold with her, she wanted to take this chance to spend more time with him.

Maddy nodded her assent—not speaking, afraid to break the spell between them, afraid that with another one of his lightning-quick mood changes, Alex would change his mind again.

Instead, pleasure enveloped his face, and Maddy felt inexorably pleased that she’d made him so happy.

“Maddy, there’s something I want to tell you.” Suddenly he was close to her, his hands lightly touching her waist. Her skin felt seared from the heat of his palms. “I’ve tried to stay away from you, but I just can’t get you out of my mind.”

Maddy smiled nervously.
He
couldn’t get
her
out of his head? More like the other way around.

“Let me go home and change; then I’ll meet you there.” She felt a frisson of panic—what on earth was a woman supposed to wear to dinner with a man like Alex?

His next words left her mouth hanging open—and without much say in the matter. “Don’t change. You look beautiful just as you are.”

•   •   •

“M
iss Stone.” Maddy’s door was opened for her, a man dressed in the sleek black of the casino staff holding out a hand for her as soon as she’d put her car in park. She scrambled for her purse, then allowed herself to be escorted gracefully from the low vehicle.

As the neon lights of the casino washed over her, she slung the vinyl strap of her purse over her shoulder and tugged uncomfortably at the hem of her shorts. She wished that Alex had given her a chance to run home to change clothing, but instead she was stuck wearing the cotton shorts and simple T-shirt that she had changed into after her shift at the diner, before her appointment with Dr. Gill.

She also would have appreciated a chance to pack a small overnight bag. It might have been wishful thinking, but she was
really
hoping that an adult sleepover would follow dinner.

She shook with nerves at the very thought. The idea both terrified and thrilled her.

Could she if he asked? Since he would know very well that she wouldn’t have an overnight bag, it seemed unlikely that he would.

If something didn’t happen to release some of the sexual tension that drew hot and tight between them, Maddy thought she might explode.

Pushing her thoughts away—she could go around about it forever—she focused on following her guide and on not becoming lost in a sea of sequins, lipstick, and silicone.

“This way please, Miss Stone.” Another man dressed in sleek black took her by the elbow and steered her toward the front lobby of the casino. Alex couldn’t have gotten there more than a few minutes before Maddy had, but it seemed that he had announced her arrival. She wasn’t sure whether she was relieved or nervous to be in the company of a man built like a tank, a man who knew her name even though she didn’t know his.

“Who are you?” The question sounded rude, though she hadn’t meant it as such.

To her surprise, the giant in black dropped his dour expression and chuckled. “I’m Declan.”

Maddy blinked when she realized that the man had a thick Irish accent. Thinking of how the man at her blackjack table that first night in the casino had called Alex an Irishman, she wondered if he was maybe a relative.

“I take care of things here.” He resumed his serious expression as they reached a bank of elevators.

Maddy didn’t ask any more questions, because she didn’t think that she was going to get any more out of the man. He seemed to have shut down after that one brief flash of approachability.

He took care of things? Like her? Or Alex’s business-related things?

As a gaggle of gaudily dressed young girls approached the elevator that had just opened for them, Declan caught Maddy by the elbow again and towed her inside, warning the girls off of the same lift with a scowling shake of his head.

Maddy raised an eyebrow at the head shake. The elevator was big enough to comfortably fit a crowd. There wasn’t any need for them to hog it.

The doors closed, and Declan inserted a card into the slot below the keypad. What appeared to be an LED screen popped out, much in the manner that cash was dispensed from an ATM. He pressed a thick index finger to the pad, and a light rolled down the screen from top to bottom.

“Declan St. Adams.” An automated female voice filled the elevator, which then began to move. Maddy felt her mouth fall open a bit with astonishment. Declan caught her expression, then very nearly smiled again.

“Security.” The word was a grunt.

Where on earth were they going? When Alex asked her to have dinner with him at the casino, Maddy had assumed that he’d meant one of the restaurants in the casino itself.

The elevator rose, then rose some more. Just when she started to wonder if the ride would ever end—the higher they rose, the more nervous she got—the elevator gently shuddered to a stop.

“Miss Stone.” Declan gestured for Maddy to exit the elevator. She was rooted in place with wide eyes, staring at the elegant room that had opened up in front of her.

She swallowed thickly and turned back to Declan. She would have to ask him to take her back down. She couldn’t do this. She was way, way, way out of her league.

Declan eyed her with calculation written over his face as Maddy battled her inner demons. Then his face softened, just the tiniest bit. “He’d never hurt you. Not unless you wanted him to.” Then, with a hand on Maddy’s elbow yet again, he urged her off of the lift. It swallowed the great big man back up, and she was left alone in what she assumed was the penthouse of the building, wondering what on earth his words had meant.

Holy shit.

The floor was intricately tiled, an array of blue, green, and white. The walls were tinted pale green, and the glass dewdrops of a chandelier that soared above her head cast light on the wall in a pattern that reminded Maddy of a flowing stream.

A polished mahogany table sat against the wall, holding carved jade bookends and a bright stripe of leather-bound books. Her fingers itched to touch them—she loved to read—but she still couldn’t quite bring herself to move.

“Welcome, Maddy.” His voice parted the air softly, and she shivered as she looked up and saw Alex standing at the end of the hallway, watching her. He had unbuttoned the top two buttons of his black shirt, and Maddy’s mouth watered at the sight of the tanned skin beneath.

She ran her tongue slowly over her lips without realizing that she was doing it. His eyes followed the movement hungrily.

“Hi, Alex.” This was all that she could manage to say. He waited, presumably for her to come in. Nervously, she toed off her sandals and then flushed when he studied the action curiously.

“You’re very sweet.” Alex didn’t come any closer as he spoke, seeming to want Maddy to come to him. Hesitantly, she took one step toward him, then another. Finally she reached the end of the long hall, and as she closed the distance separating them, she felt weak in the knees.

What am I doing here?

•   •   •

“A
re you all right?” Alex smiled at Maddy’s nervous nod before tucking her hand into his. He was suddenly transported back to junior high school, when just the touch of another’s hand was exhilarating.

“Come with me.” Alex led her a bit farther down the hall, until the corridor opened into a massive kitchen. The room gleamed with bright copper and polished wood and was kept neat as a pin.

He liked things in order, and though he’d never bothered himself wondering what others thought of his home, he suddenly found himself hoping that Maddy liked it.

Releasing her hand, Alex urged her into the kitchen with a gentle push at the small of her back. Warmth from her skin made him burn, and when he saw her shiver, he assumed that she felt the same way.

She gasped when she saw the spacious wooden island in the center of the room, loaded with dishes.

“What . . . Surely this isn’t all for me?” Maddy turned to look at him, bewildered. She looked so cute, he wanted to kiss her nose.

That was a new one for him.

“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I had the Bistro send one of everything.” Her eyebrows rose to her hairline at his words, and he winced inwardly, following her line of thought.

“
One of
everything
? From
the Bistro?
” Despite its casual name, the boutique restaurant located on the lower level of the casino was five star and ridiculously expensive.