BoldLust (6 page)

“What? Why?” Why would he want to withhold the pleasure from
her?

“I want to make your pleasure so intense, so brilliant that
you will never be able to leave me, you’ll never be able to look at another
man.” His words were hot against her neck as he pulled her against him.

Kate sucked in a breath. Could it really be possible? She
sure wanted to find out.

She could hear him undressing behind her and she looked over
her shoulder. “Keep facing forward,” he commanded, and the hair at the back of
her neck stood on end as she turned back to face the bed.

The anticipation was killing her, but she had a feeling that
it was just what he wanted. He knew exactly what he was doing to her, knew the
torment his actions and words caused her. And she couldn’t deny the fact that
she was enjoying it just as much. She liked that he could play her body like a
finely tuned harp.

Carter rubbed his cock between her legs. Not into the heat
and wetness where she desperately needed him, but against her already swollen
quim.

Kate moaned. She couldn’t help herself. He had her out of
control, needing, wanting, begging for more.

Her whole body clenched, ready for release, and as if he
could read her innermost thoughts, Carter stopped again, leaving her hanging on
the edge.

“Naaaahhhh.” She moaned her complaint because she couldn’t
form the words. Not now, not when every nerve in her body was about to explode.

“Not yet, baby.” His words were commanding and she wanted to
follow that command, wanted to do exactly what he said, not even knowing for
sure why.

Her core trembled as he placed his cock at her entrance and
slid it into her in one long, slow stroke. Her muscles clenched around him,
closer to the edge than she thought was possible. He held himself inside her,
didn’t seem to care that her body was making its obvious plea for more, milking
him. And then he pulled out and plunged deep, holding still inside her again,
letting her body struggle with the need again.

She wanted to see him, wanted to kiss him, wanted him to
slam into her hard and fast and let her have release, but none of those things
were possible. Carter had the control, she couldn’t take what she needed, had
to wait until he gave it to her.

There was something comforting in the freedom of not having
to do any of the work, not having to make any decisions, in just giving her
body to Carter.

She could focus on relaxing and feeling, not thinking or
worrying about if she was doing it right or well or how he wanted it. All there
was to do was enjoy the moment. And the moment was quite enjoyable. His cock
filled her again, slowly this time, making her body cling to his every
movement.

Not that he was making nearly enough movement. He was
tormenting her, knew what she wanted, what she needed, and still withheld it.

“Please, Carter.” She needed release. Kate tried to move her
hands, but the rope held them tight a little bit uncomfortably, definitely
secure. And she wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

But Carter pulled his cock out and then pounded into her one
more time and she didn’t care about the discomfort from the rope. The only
thing she could think about was the pleasure, flooding, about to overtake her
body.

“I like it when you beg.”

She couldn’t see his face but she could hear in his voice
that he was probably smiling.

“Then give me what I need.” She tried again, wanting the
release that was so damn close.

“There’s a difference between need and want.”

And he didn’t give her what she begged for, instead he
pulsed, just inside the wetness and heat. Her breaths turned to pants, needy,
high pitched, but Carter didn’t seem to care.

He continued the torment until she thought she was going to
explode, and at that exact moment he pounded his thick cock inside her hard and
fast, again and again, bringing her higher and higher until her body convulsed.
Her legs, her stomach, every muscle in her body tensed and released until she
thought her legs might give out and she might fall flat on her face.

He held still as the pleasure surged through Kate, letting
it take its course, but then he pounded into her again and then again and held
himself deep inside her as he groaned with his own release.

But as the pleasure faded, the reality of her situation
flooded in. She was letting herself be controlled by another man. And the most
frightening part was how much she liked it. She couldn’t do this, couldn’t jump
into the same trap that got her stuck in this Alaskan town in the middle of no
man’s land.

“Please untie me.” She couldn’t even retreat without his
help right now, couldn’t get dressed, couldn’t run home like this.

“Sure.” His strong hands had the ropes untied quickly, but
the marks from them remained on her arms.

She shouldn’t like this, should be her own woman, fight for
the things she wanted in life as Emma and Opal did.

“You can stay,” Carter offered.

“No, I can’t.” Kate threw on her clothes and rushed for the
door. She had to get out of there before she did anything else stupid, before
she gave herself up completely again.

* * * * *

Carter watched out the window as Kate disappeared up the
boardwalk, and then he flopped down on the center of his bed naked. Shit. He’d
done it again, scared another woman away with his obsession. And this time it
wasn’t just another woman, but the one woman he loved, the one he wanted to
keep for the rest of his life.

The look in Kate’s eyes as she ran out of his house was a
combination of terror and confusion. He’d seen it before. He shouldn’t be
surprised.

But all that knowledge, and having gone through it all
before, none of it stopped the pain that threatened to rip his heart into a
thousand shreds.

He had fallen in love with Kate and then he had scared her
away with his odd fascinations. He should have taken things slowly, introduced
her to his ways a little later, once she had fallen completely for him, but he
knew from experience that way could fail too.

Trying something different seemed like the smart thing to
do. But it failed. He’d lost. Again.

A week later Kate and Opal sat at the table together eating
supper. Opal had never really had a woman for a friend before, but things
between her and Kate were comfortable. Kate didn’t judge her for being a
prostitute, even stood up for her to Betsy once. A woman had never done that
before.

Hell, she wasn’t sure her own mother would stand up for her
if she were alive to see what Opal had become. Kate might have been naive about
a lot of things in this world, but that also gave her the ability to make her
own judgments, without prejudice.

“What made you decide to become a…” Kate didn’t finish the
sentence but looked meekly down at her plate. She was probably afraid of
offending Opal by using the wrong term for the job Opal performed.

“You mean why did I become a prostitute?” Opal offered one
of the less polite names for her career to let Kate know she wasn’t offended by
the question. She’d made her choice knowing exactly what she was getting into.
Well, for the most part anyway.

“Yeah, that. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,
I was just curious.” Kate fidgeted with her napkin.

Kate’s naivety was cute sometimes, and Opal had no problem
with educating the girl on some of the not-so-often-shared facts of life. The
mothers of girls like Kate didn’t talk about prostitutes or how to please a man
in the night. Opal would know. She’d been raised in a conservative, wealthy
household herself, where the word
prostitute
was never spoken—even after
her father brought girls into the house, no conversation about them was allowed.

“When I was sixteen I watched my father at a party with
girls he’d hired for the night. It was about a year after my mother had died,
so he wasn’t cheating on her or anything, but I was amazed by the women. They
were smiling and laughing and having a good time with the men, things I never
saw my mother do. I’m sure my parents loved each other on some level but things
were always serious between them. My dad didn’t hug or kiss her, at least not
that I ever saw. She didn’t smile much or have any fun.”

Opal took a breath and then continued. She hadn’t told many
people her story. Most people didn’t care enough to ask. “From that day, I knew
I wanted to be like those women. Life was too short to be bored or unhappy with
life. I wanted to laugh and love and enjoy every day.”

“Do you feel like you’ve got that?” Kate’s eyes were wide
with interest.

Was Kate thinking about becoming a sporting woman? Opal had
to dissuade her. Kate was too gentle, too sensitive for this profession. She
wouldn’t trade it for her mother’s life, even now that she’d seen the downsides
to the career, but she couldn’t encourage a woman like Kate to become a part of
this world, which could be very dark and lonely at times.

“Sort of. It isn’t always as fun as I thought it would be,
but I do what I want with whoever I want, and that’s freeing. Sometimes I
wonder if there could have been a man out there who could keep me happy, if I
could have been a woman who stayed home having babies and cooking supper every
night, but I’ve given up that chance by doing this.” There was more truth to
her words than she wanted to admit even to herself. She would never have the
monogamous love of a man.

“Well, are you ready to open up shop?” Opal forced her
thoughts to return to business, she couldn’t spend her time daydreaming about
the man she loved. It was depressing, and she already did way too much of it.

A solid knock at the door echoed through the house. Opal
didn’t have a candle lit in the window. Anyone outside should know she wasn’t
taking customers right now, should know that they weren’t open for business
yet.

“I’ll get it.” Opal moved across the room with determination
to let whoever it was who’d interrupted her dinner know that he shouldn’t make
that mistake again.

“Hello,” Opal said curtly to the dirty-looking little man
standing in front of her. His hair and face were so encrusted in mud that she
couldn’t even tell his hair color. There was no way she was taking him
upstairs.

“Is Kate here?” His eyes shifted nervously.

“May I ask what kind of business you have with her?” At
least she didn’t have to turn the dirty little man down, but she wasn’t going
to let him through the door without knowing exactly what he wanted with Kate.

“I’m her fiancé.” He looked down at the boardwalk and shook
his head sadly before turning his focus back up to Opal. “I mean her former
fiancé.”

“Oh. Let me go check to see if she’s here.” Opal knew that
Kate had come here with a man, she also knew about the letter that man sent. She
would give Kate a chance to avoid him if she wanted to.

Opal walked back to the kitchen. “Kate, there’s a man here
to see you. He says he’s your former fiancé. Do you want me to send him away,
tell him you’re gone?”

Opal gave her the chance to walk away without dealing with
Sean, but Kate couldn’t take it. “No. I’ll talk to him.” She had to do this,
had to have closure with Sean. Running away from her problems didn’t make them
disappear. So far it seemed to only make things worse.

She walked to the door and froze, eyes wide, staring at the
man in the doorway that she barely recognized. The well-groomed boy with an
easy smile she’d expected wasn’t there, instead a ragged, dirty and down man
stood in front of her. She never expected to see Sean like this, never expected
to see him again at all.

“Sean. What are you doing here?” Kate didn’t even try to
hide the shock in her voice.

“I knew you would wait for me. I’m sorry, baby, I was being
stupid. I think the mountain air was getting to me. Anyway, I came back for
you.” He looked like he was going to lean forward to hug her, so Kate took a
step backward to avoid his touch.

“What happened to your new love?” Sean thought he could just
saunter in here and have her again? He thought she would just roll over and
take him back because he said he was sorry? There were some times when “I’m
sorry” just wasn’t enough. This was definitely one of them.

“Turns out she only liked me for as long as I could bring
her nice things. I ran out of money, and she found a new man.” He looked at the
floor, embarrassed.

Kate might have laughed at the irony of it all if she still
wasn’t in shock that he was at her door expecting her to take him back. Did he
really think she was that much of a pushover? Well, she wasn’t.

“Sean, I am not here just waiting for you. I happen to enjoy
living in Alaska and chose to stay for the summer.” She put her hands on her
hips and stared at him. It wasn’t a complete lie. There were parts of living in
Alaska she enjoyed and he knew her financial situation to know she couldn’t
just take off and leave without him. He didn’t know that she had been working,
though.

“Oh.” He put his hands in his pockets, his eyes moved to the
floor again.

“I have no interest in getting back together with you. Ever.
If you could leave me that easily, you are not a man I want in my life.” She
felt a little guilty about the blunt honesty of her statements, but it was what
needed to be said. She couldn’t give herself to a man who could change his mind
so easily, who could throw her away like Sean had.

“Well, can I at least stay the night? I don’t really have
anywhere to go, and I’m out of money.”

He had paid for the room, and he looked so pitiful. Kate
felt like she owed him something.

“You can stay in my room tonight, but I will not be staying
here with you. Come back at about ten, when Opal and I are done working.”

“Done working?” His eyebrows raised in curiosity.

But she had no desire to explain herself to him. “Don’t
worry about it, Sean. I’m not your problem anymore.”

It felt good, liberating, to say those words to him. And the
moment they came out of her mouth, she knew she was doing the right thing. Watching
him walk away was hard, but it was what had to happen. She couldn’t give
herself to a man as fickle as Sean. She couldn’t give herself to a man she didn’t
love wholeheartedly ever again. Not once she had experienced the real thing,
not once she had experienced the love of a man like Carter.