BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (165 page)

"Dad, do I have to sit on the floor outside this door? I will. I won't leave it, I won't leave you. You dad, are the best friend I've ever had, and to think, my very best friend, is my father, I mean, how many can say that dad? I can, I say it all the time. And now, my best friend, needs me. If I have to postpone my career dad, I will - I'll put it off-..."

The door came open.

Derrick Jr. stood, staring into his father's tortured eyes, seeing him that way, "I'm gonna call dad and tell them I can't-..."

Derrick sr. sniffed, wiped his hand over his face, "No you're not. I'll be fine, really I will. You have a career-..."

"I have a family to see about, you! You, come before all of that! You think I'd put playing football before you? I can get a job, or - you always wanted to start-..."

Derrick cut his son off once again shaking his head, taking him by the shoulder, bringing him against his body for a hug, still shaking his head, hugging him. His intent was for just a hug, a simple squeeze to say that he didn't have to, that he would be okay, but once he had him in his arms, he couldn't let go.

"It's okay dad, you don't have to hold it back you know. Wanna go for a ride?"

Derrick held on, but shook his head once more, daring not to speak, the lump in his throat, the tears in his eyes, the burning in his chest, the pain in his heart, the nausea in his stomach - all of it, he had to keep it in. Or else he'd start wailing out of control and he didn't think he would be able to stop. He pushed away from his son, sniffing hard, wiping the sweat from his face, the heat in his body was overwhelming him.

"Dad, come on, you at least need some fresh air, grandma is with mom. Come on, just for a moment." Derrick Jr. coaxed his father, taking him by the arm to lead him out on the sun deck. There was a cool breeze blowing because it had been raining. Derrick sr. leaned on the rail, breathing in deep, the damp cool air helped to refresh him as it washed over his heated body. They stood outside, side by side, the same stance, looking out over the green grounds, quiet, just taking it all in.

"Why didn't I listen? Why didn't I hear her?"

"Dad, you cannot, keep asking yourself that. You can't man! It's one of those questions that you'll never find a satisfactory answer for, and it will haunt you, and follow you, and bring you down, hold you down. That lady was crazy! How were you to know-..."

"Your mother - told me! She - she pleaded with me! She tried to leave me - and I - made her stay! You know why she wanted to leave me? Because - she - didn't feel safe with me, my wife - was - was afraid-..."

"Dad stop it-..."

"...- afraid for her life! Afraid - I wouldn't -..."

"DAD - listen to me..."

"... protect her! She - she was right! She could have died! I let that - woman -..."

"DAD LISTEN TO ME!!"

"My wife almost died! I let her - almost kill - my wife!"

DJ stood with his hands on his head, deciding he was not going back to football camp, no way.

Derrick sr. worked to swallow back the moisture in his mouth, the sensation to shout over and over and over and over again, wasn't passing. It was there, lodged large, hard, heavy in his chest and he couldn't breathe around it. It was hurting so bad, all he could do was rub it.

DJ wondered how his decision would effect his contract? Could they sue him? He'd accepted a large draft check, spending 30% of it already.

Derrick turned to look at him, "I want you - to head on back now, you hear me, I'll be fine."

"I don't think you will dad, not until you let it go."

"Look son-..."

"Mr. McPherson, there you are." Meribel's surgeon had been looking for him, and approached to speak with him. Seeing the stressed tension on his face, the strain of all that was happening, taking it's toll on him, he hated to have to have this discussion with him, but it could not be put off any longer. "Can we, have a seat over here, there are some things we to need to settle about your wife, please, sit down."

Derrick wasn't sure he could stand to hear anymore, deal with anymore, but he sat, DJ sitting to the side as well.

"First of all, under the circumstances, your wife is recovering very well. In fact, today, we can move her from ICU into a regular room, so that's good news. However, because of her injuries, mainly speaking, her partial hysterectomy, there is hormone replacement medication she will eventually need to get on. Due to no longer having a uterus, her body cannot produce three important hormones she must have, progesterone, testosterone and estrogen. All three are vital to her wellbeing. Without it, she'll experience anxiety, depression, mood swings, dizziness, nervousness, fatigue, hair loss, headaches, heart palpitations, insomnia, weight gain and uh, painful intercourse. There's also risk of various cancers." He stopped, letting all of that sink.

Derrick sat, so it seemed, unable to move, staring off in space, as if he hadn't heard a word that he said. But he heard, loud and clear, at that moment, his own heart was in the midst of palpitations, his ears ringing.

"Mr McPherson, I know - that - you didn't wish to tell your wife, about the hysterectomy, the loss of your child. I wish - I could grant that code of silence, but - I cannot. She needs to know. She needs therapy. She will need counseling because a forced and unexpected hysterectomy is very traumatic to a woman. In order for her to get through this, she must be made aware of what's going to be happening to her body - so that uh - she can cope. So - I can tell her, or - you can tell her - but - either way - she must be told and soon. I'll leave you with that, for now - let's get her moved and then, we'll deal with the rest later." The doctor finished, gazing at Derrick, who sat unmoving, the surgeon wasn't even sure if he blinked the entire time her spoke.

He looked from Derrick to Dj, "I guess I'll leave him with you." Unsure of what else to say, or do - he stood and strode back into the hospital corridor on to his next patient.

Dj swallowed, gulped actually, unable to speak, afraid to. His father still hadn't moved, he didn't know what to do, what to say to him. Dj knew his mother, knew how much she loved him, he remembered hearing her say to him once when they didn't know he could hear them, "You know, if you don't let me take contraceptives, I could have a baby every year, they'll be crawling across the floor, we'll have to tip toe not to step on them."

And his father had answered, "In that case, we'll stop wearing shoes in the house."

His mother had laughed, "I get the feeling, you really wouldn't care, if I had one every year, would you?"

"If you could, would you?" He asked her, they were teasing each other.

"Your babies? Oh Derrick, if I could, I would never stop - but I will have to, so, let us agree, if we hit say, twelve, we'll stop? Agreed?"

"Agreed, twelve is a good number."

They hadn't hit twelve, not even close. Sighing, unable to speak past the lump in his throat, Dj reached out, gently took his father's hand, and held it, because that's all he could think to do.

*

Camp Daniels - late morning...

They'd arrived back home late last night, everyone exhausted. Once more, Angela's guards insisted she ride with them in the Hummer, along with Crystal and the boys. Shawn had been too tired himself to make a fuss over it. They hadn't a clue of where Mundo was, and Ben had left the night before. Following jet lag, and the emotional wrenching around Derrick and Meribel, everyone was sleeping in late, except for Crystal. She was up with her boys, had fed them and now they were in the basement with her, quietly watching television, this after asking her ten or more times, "Where Ben at?" For her to tell them that he had something to do, and after a few more questions, they settled down enjoying the children's program on TV.

With them distracted by that, she was able to sit her new laptop on the coffee table, opening it up, powering it up. Despite what she told the boys, she too wondered where was Ben? He hadn't said a word to her, just left Sunday night without so much as a wave goodbye, right or wrong, she resented that he hadn't looked for her to tell her he was leaving.

Laptop on, she searched her emails, smiled to see, there was two waiting for her from him.

From: B.C. McPherson

Date: 06/27/2004 20:23

To: Crystal Bella

Subject: I suppose it's over now?

You're at the hospital now, I almost said goodbye to you there, but you were speaking with my aunt Shanna at the time, and I thought, just go. So I did. Even so, I stopped to send you this email, just to let you know - everyday that we spent together on this holiday was special to me. I'll never forget it. Where's your ring? Have you come across it yet? I bet you haven't. You'll find it in the disk storage pocket of your laptop bag, because it's new, I thought, she'll keep that with her. Look now if it's beside you.

Crystal stopped reading the email to search the laptop bag, and sure enough, she found it, it was closed in a small yellow envelope. She opened it to find that he'd put the ring on a stunning gold chain, obviously to hang around her neck. Holding on to it tightly, she held it against her heart, choked up to have it in her possession; she went back to reading the email.

I'm hoping that it is, that you found it and that, some how, some way, you'll find it in your heart to wear it, at the very least, around your neck, as you can see, it's on a chain for you. The other one, is around my neck. As I placed it there, I said a little prayer, hoping that one day I would take it off, to hand you so that you can put it on my finger, as I would do with the one you wear. Hey, what can I say, I'm a dreamer - and lately, they are all - filled with you; with Darren; with Isaac. I just want you to know, every word I've ever said to you, I meant. Every touch, every caress, and every kiss. All though we are within reach of each other, I have never felt further away from you, than now. Because our time, together - is over.

Ben

Biting into her lip, feeling a rush of emotions, she went to the second email.

From: B.C. McPherson

Date: 06/28/2004 22:23

To: Crystal Bella

Subject: Great news

As I was leaving the hospital, my dad and Vivian were also leaving. And you know what, we made up! It was great, oh Crystal it was fantastic! We hugged and I felt in my heart, that everything was going to be okay between us. While we were there in L.A. he bought this huge house for her. Rather, my gran's did for them as a wedding gift - well let me tell you now, it's a definite fixer upper! Serious work to be done on it, but - I'm helping my dad do it. We had an excellent evening laying the plumbing pipes, and marking the rooms because he's installing additional bathrooms and another kitchenette. When this place is done, it is going to be out of this world, and my dad said to me, if I ever wish to come there to stay for a few days, or whatever, I'm more than welcome. He also told me that I had the same access to his Chicago apartment, it's a great feeling man for the family to be as a whole again. Family means everything. That's what my grandfather always said - no one is allowed to step into the midst of our family, and do whatever they will to it, it's simply not allowed. I agreed. We may fight, have our disagreements, yes, get on each other's nerves and sometimes, even hurt each other - but - we would also kill for each other. I love my family, I can't imagine being anyone else, than who I am, proud to say, son of three fathers, roflmao - crazy huh? The man that sired me, Shawn - I feel pride. The man that accepted me, supported me, claimed me, Jake - I feel pride. The man that taught me, raised me, nurtured me, guided me, Quincy - I feel pride. Hmmm, so does that make me, three times the man of most? LOL, I feel that way, I feel happy, I feel I am right where I belong and - my challenge, my goal in life is now - to have you - Crystal Bella - yes you.

P.S. Gail, my ex - we talked, a nice long talk. We're friends, always - and she - wished me all the best, and good luck in my battle to win you. Therefore, I bow to you madam and grant you the time that you need - but know this - I'll be watching, I'll be waiting, and I'll be ready.

Ben

Crystal felt heat course through her body as it filled with a giddy joy. She opened her hand, her fingertips caressing the ring and gold chain. She was so tempted to actually put it on, but she couldn't, not yet. The day she placed that chain around her neck, would be the day she'd commit her mind to being with Ben, and as good as he made her feel, she promised her mother, she would take her time. She'd promised Shawn the same, that - she would do. She rose from the floor, trotted up the stairs, to her room and put the ring and chain away in her jewelery box; walking softly not to wake Angela. While in there, she realized she should probably now, finally turn her mobile phone back on. She reached in the drawer, got it out and went back into the basement. She sat, holding it, staring at it. She hadn't turned it on for weeks and now, she was a bit fearful to, what if there were messages from Victor on it?

She flipped it open and pressed the on button - nothing happened. "Duh, it's dead ding-dong. Gonna have to charge it up." She tossed it aside, deciding to do that later, for now - she was home and there was no sense in putting it off any longer.

It was time to contact Victor.

Glancing at her boys, she walked to the phone on the wall, took it off the perch and went back to the sofa, folding her legs up Indian style she dialed his mother's number. She knew that he would be sleeping now if he worked the night before, so would not disturb him calling his mobile. Besides, once he was out, he wouldn't hear it ringing anyway.

The phone rang three times and was answered, "Prescott's?"

It was Natalie, his mother, Crystal squelched the butterflies in her stomach, mustering her nerve. "Hello?" She called out again, about to hang up.

"It's me, Crystal - uhm - I - I need to speak with Victor, if you would, when he wakes, have him call me?"