BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (223 page)

"Shawn here."

"Chad Withering here, how you doing?"

"Hmmm, ah - well - I ah - need to talk to someone, I don't know what your schedule is like, but-..."

"What's your day like today, Shawn? Or would you rather I called you, Mr. McPherson?"

"Shawn, please."

"Okay, Shawn, what's your day like today? I have two open slots from cancellations - I can give you one, or - longer by condensing them?"

Shawn was quiet, thinking about it, he looked at the clock on his desk, it was almost two in the afternoon, "What time are those slots?"

"I have one at three-thirty and another at five, you can have one, or both, it's up to your need."

Shawn went quiet again, "See you in an hour and a half?"

"You coming to my office, or, you want me to come to you?"

"You'll - you'll do that?"

"Yes, I do that. Some people don't feel comfortable in an office environment, they feel more comfortable at home, I'm here to help - sometimes that means going out. It's good for me too, to get out and about, see how they live, what they're up against."

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind that, you - coming here."

"Mind if I'm casual?"

Shawn smiled, "I'd actually, prefer it, that's fine with me."

"Okay, your address?"

Shawn gave him their address and directions there, advising him on the work being done around their home. Chad Withering copied it down and promised to be there on time.

Shawn felt better having phoned him, and making the appointment that afternoon. For the time being, he focused on the reference list the AKC gave for breeders of various dogs. It took him a while to go through the list, visiting their websites and writing down the numbers of them that seemed most promising. When he was done, he had a list of five. Three for Great Pyrenees, and two for CainCorso Vero types. He spent the next few moments with each, interviewing them, asking hard questions that they must be able to answer before he was even willing to come out and see their dogs. It didn't matter to him that they'd come recommended by AKC, in the end, he ended up with one that satisfied him concerning the Pyrenees and nothing for the CainCorso - he would keep looking until he was satisfied, then saw an ad for a book on getting the best knowledge on the dogs and how to pick them, breeders and the animal. He ordered it. And made a note to speak with Deidre later about the man she recommended who had Pyrenees' breeds.

At three-twenty, there was a knock on the office door.

Shawn was quick to go answer it, Chad Withering, Shawn smiled happy to see him, "You made it, no trouble finding the place?"

"Not at all. Lot going on around here, what's that going up behind here?"

"Our new home."

"By the looks of things, it's going to be quite impressive."

"Wasn't going to be that big in the beginning, but - various circumstances have come to be, and well - there you have it. Come on in."

"Thank you, so what's going on here?"

"This is my photography studio, I'll be doing, high school, family or specialized photography here, such as in portfolio's for modeling, anything really that requires my services. Hmmm, maybe I should trim that a bit, anything legal, moral, in good standing." He grinned.

"I know what you meant. Sounds good. I might have to bring my family in once you're up and going."

"You married huh?"

"Still a newlywed, not quite two years, and a baby on the way, like you."

"Wow, congratulations. Ah, so you remembered from the first meeting?"

"Absolutely, I can't help you if I don't know you. If you tell me things to know you, I have to remember it, part of the process."

Shawn only nodded, "Wanna go in my office, or, we can sit out here?"

"Actually, I noticed you have a nice bit of woods across the way, that on your property?"

"Yes, it is."

"Let's go for a walk and talk, shall we? I'm always cooped up in an office somewhere, I like the woods."

"Oh, okay - sure, let me lock up here."

"I'll wait outside." Chad stepped out giving him the time he needed to lock up the studio. When Shawn stepped out to join him, he asked, "Where's your family?"

"The kids are all gone with the older ones, I have two older sons here, eighteen and twenty-two, they've taken the younger ones out for the day."

"That must be nice."

"Yes, it is."

"And your daughter, Crystal?"

"She's home, back with her husband."

"I see, they've gotten back together then?"

"Yeah, but I'm not expecting it to last, he's not right for her."

"Maybe as she progresses in counselling, things might change for them."

"The problem is not my daughter, but him. Anyway, no sense in us getting into that one. Shall we walk?" Shawn invited.

"Please, let's. And your wife, where's she?"

Shawn was quiet a moment, as they headed down the road at a slow pace towards the woods from Sylvia's location. At his hesitancy to speak, Chad asked, "She the reason you called me today?"

"Yeah, she is."

"You're not separated are you?"

"No, she'll be home, tonight - at least I hope so." He chuckled, but felt the complete opposite.

"Something happen today?"

Shawn nodded, but felt stuck, "You know, now that you're here, I'm not sure what to do, what to say. There are things going on in my life that I just - well I can't share it."

"Anything you wish to share with me Shawn, and I stress strongly, anything - is completely confidential. That covers, anything humanly possible." He stressed as they stepped up on the curb onto the field right before the woods. Shawn still couldn't open his mouth to speak, realizing that, Chad thought he had better get the ball rolling.

"Tell me something, that you absolutely love, about yourself, Shawn?"

"Huh? Love about myself? Wow, hmmm..." He went off into thought, it took him a while, but finally said, "I love that I can pretty much see people for what they are, at least, I think I can. I've never been partial or prejudice, over one race or another. I love to look at beautiful women, photograph them, paint them..." He paused a bit, thinking, and finally, "... I so love, that I've found the woman I know, I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love, that I'm sure beyond any sureties ever in my life - about her. And I feel, pretty damn good, that - because of my life, I have something to offer the two she had, Crystal and Mundo. I love, that there's something in me, that needs them, and something in me, that they need. And the best for last, I love, that I'm responsible for bringing into this world, my incredibly beautiful daughter - she is breathtaking, and - yeah - those are the things I love about me."

"Yeah, that's something to be proud of. Now tell me, what do you hate, about you?"

Once more, Shawn thought the question over as they entered the woods, slow, enjoying the day even though, there were clouds above threatening rain. It took him a while to search his soul, and then looked Chad in the eyes saying, "I hate, that because of my stupidity, I caused the death, of the best friend I've ever had. He was my brother for all intents and purposes, we were family. He looked after me, he taught me, he educated me, and yeah..." Shawn smiled, "...he also lead me into some shit, I wish I'd never done, but - it's done, I can't go back. Even so, losing him due to my actions, is what I hate - because I can't go back and make it not so."

Chad nodded, "Tell me Shawn, what is it about this day, and the things that took place in it, that made you feel you needed someone to talk to?"

"I'm gettin' to my wife."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm driving her away."

"How so?"

"My manner - my aggressions - the way I take care of things, it's stressing to her."

"What specifically are you taking care of in an aggressive manner that stresses her?"

"How I deal with, those that trespass here - those that intend to do harm here. I won't have it!..." As he spoke, Chad could see the rise in his manner, his passion, his aggression, "... I will not leave the welfare of my family in the hands of a law that says, they must die first, be beaten to death first, be raped first, be victimized first, before it can step in and deal with the individual who will have done it. How can that possibly serve to protect anyone? How? No! Any man that is capable of harming my family, those that I love, is my enemy and I will deal with them - before, harm to my family is done! Not after - how can I possibly fix, what is already done? No! It's too late by then, too late - I will never wait, until it's too late." Shawn asserted, and Chad could see that he meant every word. He reflected back so many weeks to the first meeting - where he discovered that Shawn's father, whom taught him to fight, served in Vietnam.

"Are you saying, that you don't trust the law of the land to protect your family?"

"No I don't. They won't. A deed has to be done first - how am I to live with that? No, with my family, it's up to me to protect them, before a threat to them is successful, not after the damage is done."

"Where has that type of thinking come from Shawn? Life's experience? Or your - father perhaps?"

Shawn paused only a moment, "Both."

"Okay, has anything taken place Shawn, that has caused your wife stress?"

"Yes."

"Care to share it?"

"No, I don't."

"Okay, has someone in your family been threatened?"

"Yes."

"Someone close to you?"

"Yes."

"Your wife?"

"No, not lately, there is history of a past event with my wife, but nothing current."

"One of your children?"

"No, my sister, she lives across the way there, in the new mobile home you passed coming in. She's divorced now from her first husband, and while I lived in California - she lived in Ohio, where he made it a regular event to beat her, badly. She miscarried twice by him, you tell me, what kind of man balls of up fist and slams it into the delicate face of a woman? What kind of man, on top of that, hits the woman carrying his child? So much to the point that he kills his own flesh and blood? What kind of man does that? None that I know of, no real man, would even consider such a thing! That is the act of a dangerous animal, and it should be dealt with accordingly, before it causes further suffering to those it might attack."

Chad nodded, thinking about his words, "How is your sister now? She okay?"

"Yes, now that she's back here with me, now that I'm back here with her."

"And her ex-husband, is he still bothering her?"

"No."

"He's not? Well that's good - few women in domestically violent homes ever escape it."

"That is my opinion also."

"Does he know where she is?"

Shawn didn't answer, he only glanced at Chad. But it was enough for Chad, "Yes or no?" He asked.

"He discovered her location, yes."

"Has he bothered her since?"

"No, he hasn't. The police came here today, questioning me, my son, Mundo, my wife about him. They say, he's missing."

"Her ex-husband is missing?"

"That's what they say."

"I see - and the police today, their coming here and questioning your wife, that is what upset her?"

"Yes."

"Why would that upset her Shawn? Why would she be upset and stressed with you, and your - aggression?"

"It's ah, possible, that she thinks, I've had something to do - with his - being missing."

"I see. Is her fear founded on anything, substantial?"

Shawn stopped, they were in the center most part of the woods, he turned to look at Chad. "You have to understand, that it is my job, to take care of my family. To see to their safety, it's my job. It is exactly, as my father stated - my family, is my responsibility - their home - their haven, their sanctuary should be just that. All of that exists in my domain. It's like baseball, if they're out - running in the field, dodging and trying to make it back home, once they do, make it home, they're safe - they - are - safe! Know why?"

"Why Shawn?"

"Because - I am - the sentry at the gate. I am the soldier, the guard - once they get in the gate past me, that's it. Anyone chasing, has to come in past me. Many have found, that's not a good idea."

Chad could actually feel the air around them crackle with his chilled coolness that emanated from him. Knowing what he did already from just a few meetings, and the bit of talk now; Chad got it, he understood.

"Is that the case with your sister, Shanna? And her ex-husband? Did he try to run in past you at the gate?"

"That's what my wife thinks."

"Is she right?"

Shawn looked away. Chad watched him for long moments, a man standing in the shades of many trees, the sun shinning through them over their heads. He wouldn't rush the answer out of him. In fact, he didn't expect to get one. What he got instead, was Shawn turning to look back at him, his eyes were pink from him fighting back emotions that no doubt ran deep, he said, "The thought, the idea - alone, of any one of my family members being hurt - just the thought, is like - someone stabbing me with a dull knife. I can't just stand still, and endure such pain. All I want, all I ask, is to be left alone, to live as many others wish to live, as it is my right, and those I love; their right, not to be harassed, picked on, abused. It is not my desire to cause anyone pain, but by the same token, I cannot, nor will not stand still, to be stabbed by a dull knife - I will not. That is a flaw in me - one that my wife sees as a flaw, and I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to lose my wife, nor all the things I've worked so hard to gain. I don't know what to do. In truth, I don't think you can help me either."

"How about this, we - you and I - take it one step at a time, how about that?"

"Okay, sure."

"I think that's enough for today, what about you? Anything else you wanna tell me?"

"No, you're right, that's enough."

Chad turned back towards the way they'd come in, "What about our next meeting? I think it's a good idea that we meet again, this wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No, not bad at all. And, I have your word, it is all in confidence?"