BOMAW Vol. 10-12 (62 page)

"Excuse me, he found out today, that I am definitely his! Other than tell me that, and tonight, to tell me off - that is all he's communicated to me. In fact, he holds me responsible for letting what happened at that pool hall happen."

"Man don't talk crazy! I already told him it was me." Mundo repeated.

"Say what you will, fact remains, he does not like me."

"Wait a minute here, if he didn't like you, why are you here now?" Crystal asked.

"Good question, which is the reason I'm considering leaving. Look, he's not - what I imagined him to be."

"You mean perfect?!" Crystal blasted low.

"I never expected him to be perfect, but - he's not - he's just different. And the way he treated us tonight, how he talked to us, handled us - that was totally out of line."

"Dawg you know what, that tells me right there, we from two different worlds! Because from the world I come from, he acted like a father scared to death for his sons! He acted like a father pissed off because he was worried. He acted like a father that don't take no shit when it comes to his boys. He acted like a father who turns to you, and says, I should kick your ass because you fucked up! Which I did - okay, I know that. But you know what, he didn't even have to leave this house to come looking for us - but he came looking, because he like that. Granted, he went off, okay - damn straight he did, 'cause Crystal, I swear fo'god, I thought he was gone kick my ass tonight." Mundo shook his head thinking about it, looking from her to Ben. "You know what Ben, because you always had a father - shit - two fathers - hey, obviously damn good father's, you can't see what Shawn is."

Ben sighed, shaking his head, looking from Mundo to Crystal, about to say something, but was stunned to see moistness in her eyes as she glared at him, trapping his thoughts and dispersing them, murmuring instead, "What? What's with the look?"

Crystal was feeling too angry to speak, Mundo continued on instead, "You know what Ben, to you - maybe he was out of line, you know. Maybe he ain't perfect, but for me and my sister - he's the best we've ever known. So if you can't handle who he is, what he is - hey, maybe you should head out."

"You can defend him after the way he talked to you?"

"Man, what you talking about?! He saved -
my
life! He saved -
your
life! From day one dawg - day one - he stepped up to the plate in my mama's life and made some serious wrong shit - right! Understand me? I fucked up tonight,
me!
I fucked up. I may be young, I may do stupid shit - but I'm not blind! He paid the dude his money, dude was about to leave, and said something - maybe he meant it, maybe he didn't. But the fact is, it was aimed at
me.
Shawn, as you call him, could have said,
ignore the fool
,
let's just go
. He didn't." Mundo shook his head and looked from Ben to Crystal, "You should have seen him Crystal, he was on that fool like fire burnin' off gasoline - and couldn't nobody put that fire out, I mean he burned his ass up! Over me ...
me!
? Ain't no man, ever gave a shit about me like that! Only my mama - been that way for me!" He shook his head looking back to Ben, "So yeah, I can defend him after he talked
that
way to me. I guess you could say, we - Crystal and I, we understand him - maybe its because we have so many things in common, I don't know. You know what, you do what you gotta do, okay? Only you know, what's right for you." Mundo stood, "I'm off to bed, got my nerves all shot and shit!", and left the room.

Crystal stood glaring down at Ben, Ben took another deep breath, he'd been looking down and then finally up at her. "You mad at me, because of what I said about him?"

Crystal took a few moments to answer, thinking before she opened her mouth. "You know, maybe its a good thing this happened. You're obviously so much better than him, than us - I mean-..."

Ben's shooting up from the bed before her, startled her, cutting her off as he held his hands up to halt her words, "Wait a minute Crystal, calm down first-..."

"I am calm!"

"No you're not! You're angry at me, god - the heck with everything else, I don't want you angry with me!" He whispered passionately.

"Everything else as in Shawn? The heck with him?!" She asked still heated.

"Nooo, godalmighty, nooo - look, I'm just not used to him okay? I'm not used to the way he is. I'm not used to being treated, or handled the way he did me tonight, the way he did Mundo."

"How did he handle you? How did he treat you?"

"He went off on us! Threatened to kick our ass! Grabbed us both and shoved us out the door of that pool hall! I'm 22 years old! I'm a man, not a little kid!"

"Hmmm, is that right? So, you telling me, you - a man of 22 - let my little 18 year old brother, lead you into a situation that could have gotten you both killed? Because I can tell you now, my definition and thoughts on a real man, would have had what it takes to be a leader and would have lead my brother out of that situation and safely home! Instead, he - lead you, into it! Some kind of man you are!"

Ben stood, his face burning from her words.

"Yeah, and just so you know it, you don't have to take that from me! Just as you don't have to take what my Papah-Shawn said and did to you! If you wanna go, get your ticket baby, pack yo'shit and head on out! Obviously you too thinned skinned and
sensitve
to take it! You been coddled, cuddled and pampered and spoiled so - that when a little heat hits you, you can't take it! I have had one
weak ass
man in my life, I ain't looking for another one. So yeah, you bes' stick to that soft and gentle world you used to living in - because my Papah-Shawn is a man baby, and it takes a
real
man - to know how to deal with him. He treated you, in the heat of the moment, like a frightened father whose son almost got killed because he got himself into something that he wasn't
man enough
to avoid, nor - get out of." Crystal stood straighter, squared her shoulders, breathing hard, she paused a bit, and said last, "See how we are? See how I am? Phew! Got to see the real me before you stepped too far, and I got to see the real you. So, you best get to packing." She finished.

Ben stood staring at her, letting her words wash over him. He took a couple more deep breaths, because he needed them. He suddenly felt foolish. Felt small. Trivial, clueless and yes, weak. It was the last impression he wanted to give of himself before her.

"Well, you can go now - don't let us, with all of our dysfunctional imperfections hold you up."

"I'm not going anywhere."

"I think its best that you do, its obvi-..."

He rushed her, covering her mouth with his hand, his other arm around her back, pulling her against his body. "Shhh ... please ... I've heard you, and - you're right." He slowly pulled his hand way from her mouth, "You're right. I followed, when I should have lead. Had he not shown up, god only knows what might have happened." He spoke honestly, softly to her with her body pressed against his.

At that particular moment, Crystal was short of breath, stunned when his hand went over her mouth. Instead of slapping it away, she froze, unable to move it. For the life of her, she couldn't understand why. Now, his strong arm banned her against him, she should step away. She knew that she should, but the touching of their bodies, did something to her. She felt a warm rushing that shot through her arms, her legs, through the center of her core, her chest, her stomach, her heart.

"So, I'm not ... going ... anywhere." He rasped, growing short of breath himself. He felt himself stirring, his blood, growing steadily heated was rushing directly to his penis, lengthening it along his right thigh and he knew that she had to feel him. He stared at her, right into her eyes, "Godalmighty, I can't believe what you do to me, what you make me feel." His other hand pressed at her back as he leaned towards her, "Please Crystal, just once - let me - just-..."

She snatched herself away from him as if he were on fire; when she was the one on fire. She throbbed with heat and fright at what went through her body to feel his erection against her. Unable to stop herself, she looked down at his crotch. Her eyes grew round at the imprint of him, at the size of the semi-erection. Embarrassed, shaky and out of sorts she turned from him. "Please leave my room."

Ben blew out taking a few breaths to abate his passion and arousal. "I'm - I'm sorry Crystal. I didn't mean to offend you. I can't - help this - surely you understand, why?"

"Come on Ben, be real, any female pressed against you would make you react the same. That's why. I'm not foolish enough to believe it has anything to do with me specifically-..."

"You're so wrong, you are so so wrong. Look, look at me please."

"Not right now."

"I'm okay, I've - calmed down."

She nervously glanced shyly around,
there
- at him. While there was evidence of his arousal, he had grown significantly less. Her eyes traveled up from there to his face. He was grinning knowingly.

She turned back all the way to boldly face him, "What's with the grin?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "You're such a contradiction. Fiery, bold and defending my father one minute, telling me off the next, and shy in the end. You are so beautiful to me and I never want you, angry at me. Disappointed at me. Thinking badly of me. That I'm weak. And you have my word, from this day forward, I will always strive to be a leader - never a follower. Okay Crystal? Still my friend? Please?"

She almost gave into him, but held back asking, "And my Papah-Shawn, what about him?"

Ben reached up and scratched his head, "I guess, since I sought him out - I have to accept him, for what he is, how he is, huh?"

"Yeah, I think so. You sure you can handle him? Respectfully handle him? As a son should his father?"

Again he grinned, "With you guarding his back - I have no choice."

"You better believe it, but as for you, you'll always have a choice."

Mundo stuck his head into the room, "Hey, uh, they arguing I think."

"Who?" Crystal and Ben asked at the same time.

"Mama and Shawn - I just saw them heading out the door, mama behind Shawn, he wasn't smiling. What should we do?"

*

The house had been mostly quiet even though they knew Mundo, Ben and Crystal were still up and talking. Sylvia lay propped back against the headboard of their bed, in the dark, listening as her husband explained what had taken place in getting the boys. He also told her, leaving little out, what he said to them both, especially Mundo. He was still hyped over it all and a few times she had to reach out, touching his arm, reminding him to calm down. She wasn't sure what to do or what to say as she listened. She fully understood his anger at them both; especially Mundo for disregarding the pool hall notice that was up, however, she saw something else she could not continue on ignoring.

"I'm gonna have to call King Louie, apologize to him for this whole mess." He was saying.

"Shawn - you need to apologize to more than him."

"Who else?"

"I think, you owe Ben an apology."

"For what?!" Shawn turned on the bed, looking at her in the dark.

Sylvia sat staring at her husband; knowing that to see him, many would not believe what a contradiction he was. He was an absolute representation of not judging a book by the cover. From the very first time she saw him, put off by his grin, he'd been this laid back, at ease charmer that was far from what time and living with him was slowly revealing. That being, how dangerous he was and could be. He started out with her, pretty much as Armundo Sr. had, tenaciously coming onto her, insistent with the relationship. Even so, the differences in them were, that one was an abuser of his family, the other was a fierce guardian over them. Thus the complexity of her husband now. Which made him even harder to deal with. With Armundo Sr. everything was pretty much cut and dry as to what he was and how to deal with him. While she would have loved to leave him, and with very good reason, she hadn't been able to. Now, here she was with Shawn. She knew that he was a good, strong, and beautiful person, with a valiant heart. Yet, incredibly scarred. His thinking and triggers, she knew were not always right, not at all. Sylvia took a deep breath and stated, discarding his question in an attempt to get to the heart of the matter, "You are going to have to do something about your temper and your reaction to things - and your solutions to them. Yes, the boys were stupid, especially Mundo, but Ben, did not deserve what you said and did to him, and to attack that man that way."

"He threatened Mundo! I'd given him the money, he should have taken it and left - you think I'm gonna leave it to chance for someone to see him later and do something to him? We get a phone call, or knock on the door about our son? No - way!"

"Shawn I didn't say you were wrong for being upset, but you didn't-..."

"I did what I did, and I don't regret it, that's the end of it!"