Bondage (13 page)

Noah groaned and kept tasting him, though more gently, even as his body shook, as he started to spill into Phan's mouth. Phan moaned, swallowing again and again, his sounds vibrating all along Tobias' cock, making his climax longer, until he was so sensitive he almost hurt.

Slowly, they withdrew, but kept physical contact, sitting or kneeling on the floor, and leaning on him and each other. Tobias couldn't be sure how long it took him to climb out of the fog, but it was long enough that everything had come to a complete halt. The stall and his boys were still and quiet.

"Remind me again who was in charge of that scene?" he asked blearily, looking down at himself and then at them. "You're both expelled." He was a mess, almost out of the chair, half dressed and completely debauched. Really, he'd lost control there somewhere. He couldn't quite make himself care, though.

"We deserve it." Noah said, laughing lightly. "After we're disowned by our families, we'll run away to San Francisco and start a fringe theater company."

"Oh, that could work," Phan put in. "Sir can be our manager."

Tobias groaned and sat up, then stood up on shaky legs to put his clothes to rights. "I don't think so," he said, looking around and finally sitting back down. "God, melted my brain. Clean up in here, you two, and we'll go back to the house. I think it's time for a bath, a nap, and then you can fight about who's cooking and who's picking the movie."

Phan grinned at Noah. "That worked well," he said, snuggling up against him for a moment.

"I had a feeling it might," Noah winked and stood. He held a hand out to help Phan to his feet, then turned to Tobias, eyes appropriately low. "Yes, sir. Would you prefer to take Phan with you to start your bath? I can stay here and clean up."

Tobias considered that for a moment, weighing attention and fairness and eventually nodded. "You took the scene, so you get to clean up. And you'll have stripes too, pet. It was fun, but it wasn't exactly in character, was it?"

"No, sir, not in character at all." Noah was trying to look contrite, so apparently the punishment wasn't unexpected. "How many have I earned, sir?"

"I have no idea -- I said my brain was melted, right?" Tobias grinned. "Three. One for getting Phan involved, one for your tongue up my ass, and one for making me beg like a sub."

Phan snickered.

"And one for you, for going along with it."

Phan beamed. "Yes, sir."

"I'm surprised that you remember the begging part; you were pretty gone, sir," Noah teased, walking Tobias and Phan down the aisle on his way to the supply stall.

"Unlike yourself, who doesn't even remember ripping off a cock ring and coming all over a poor submissive who was only trying to help?"

Phan stopped dead and stared at Noah for a second. "You... ah. Paris."

Noah laughed. "Paris. I'm rather proud of that particular blackout, thank you. Sir is pretty smug about it, too. Ask him about it while you're getting his bath ready, he'll probably get hard again." He stopped by the supply stall and leaned on the door, looking like a cat in cream. "See you both inside in a bit."

Tobias shook his head and led Phan out. "Don't ask," he said mildly, squinting into the sunlight.

"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it, sir," Phan said with a grin. "Making you relive a highlight of your trip? What a cruelty."

Tobias laughed. "I won't get hard."

"No, sir." Phan sounded gleeful.

"Really."

"Of course."

"Oh, shut up. Bath, boy. Then a story."

Phan just grinned.

The following Tuesday, Noah arrived home from work to find Phan busy in his kitchen. "Oh, my God, what smells so good?"

"Dinner," came Phan's disembodied voice from down the hall.

"Ha, ha." Noah opened the closet door to hang up his coat and froze a moment, trying to figure out what was different about it. It seemed bigger than he remembered, there was plenty of space where before he'd barely had room to jam anything in there. He closed the closet door perplexed, but everything became much clearer as he made his way into the living room. "Oh, my God, you cleaned."

"Hm?" Phan asked, sweeping into the room and kissing him on the cheek. "Oh, yeah, hope you don't mind, the place was a sty. A total bachelor pad. I've wanted to offer for a while, but you know, now that I live here, well, what else do I have to do all day?"

"Nothing, I guess," Noah said slowly. "It's fine." He blinked and looked around. Everything was more or less in its place, it was just... neater. Less cluttered. Not dusty.

"Hungry?" Phan asked cheerfully, making his way back into the kitchen.

"Yeah." Noah smirked and shrugged. He hadn't expected Phan to play housekeeper, but if it made him happy, then what the hell. "Starving. But you didn't have to cook, too."

"Again with the bored." Phan rolled his eyes. "Therapy day. Had to do something, you know? So I put the non-seasonal stuff from the front hall away in that back closet, picked up the stacks of books, dusted... you weren't kidding about the dust bunnies, by the way. And then I still had an hour, so I cooked." He paused at the stove, oven mitts on, and said, "Um. I did too much, didn't I?" He looked faintly chagrined. "Do you mind? Kind of a big assumption there, I guess."

"No, no it's not that I mind -- believe me, you're right, since I'm not around to clean up on weekends, this place has gone to hell. It's just that I don't want you to think you have to clean up after me. Because you don't. Okay?" Noah ran a hand down Phan's back.

Therapy day. Well that would explain the need to keep busy. Noah was insatiably curious about how it'd gone, of course, and he might ask if Phan didn't offer anything, but then again, everyone needed a night off. He decided to let it go for now and see where the evening took them. "Be right back," he said, taking off his gun belt and pager. He took them to his room and came back with a smile for Phan, not wanting to make him wait while he changed. "That smells really, really good."

Phan smiled at him. "Just shepherd's pie, nothing fancy. And I don't mind the cleaning -- makes me feel useful, like I'm... contributing, you know?"

Noah empathized with Phan completely. It was that contributing thing that he'd spent all that time in Paris trying to get Tobias to understand, the need to feel productive, useful, carry his weight. The need to feel like a participating member of the household and not a sponge. Yeah, he knew what Phan was saying, and as far as he was concerned, Phan could do anything he needed to. There really wasn't any point in discussing it further.

Phan opened the oven and took out a casserole dish, then carried it to the table and put it on the trivet. "Don't touch. I don't want to have to tell Sir you burned your fingers."

"Yeah, if I burn my fingers that would end up my next deprivation session. Food." Noah grinned. That had been a rough session at first, but Tobias seemed pleased with him by the end, and he'd felt great for hours after. Next time, he told himself, he wouldn't panic. If only he knew that to be true. "I love shepherd's pie. Reminds me of home. My mom used to make it all the time."

"Yeah?" Phan asked with a quick grin. "That's cool. I like it 'cause it's comfort food -- potatoes and meat and veggies, all in one dish. Warm and easy and not hard to clean up." He smiled again and shoved Noah's plate to him. "Water or Coke, kiddo?"

"Coke, please, it's a tradition now, isn't it?" While Phan was getting the drinks, Noah dug into dinner, serving himself a mom-size portion just like he would have back at his mom's. "Oh, I probably should have changed before I sat down," he said, looking down at his filthy uniform shirt. He pulled it off along with his tie and dumped them on the floor by his chair. "I had such a weird day today. The usual speeding violations, a shoplifting thing, a couple of teenagers fighting, and then I rescued four kittens from a storm drain. They were so cute. Little tiny fuzzy things. Carol, my partner -- have I told you about Carol? She took them home, she's even going to keep two, I think."

Two glasses of Coke in hand, Phan came back and sat down. "That's great," he said with a grin. "Hey, ever wonder about why there aren't any cats in Sir's barns? We should totally take one up. Give The Bitch something to think about."

"He must use mouse traps. Cats are much more fun, and they entertain the horses, too. I hope she hates cats." Noah winked and took a bite of his pie; comfort food indeed. "Oh, this is really good, Phan." He dug in with great enthusiasm.

"Thanks." Phan grinned at him and started eating his own meal, going a fair bit slower than Noah. He was eating, though, and he'd lost the shadows under his eyes. A week's worth of decent sleep seemed to have done him wonders. "Have you talked to Sir today?" Phan asked, lifting his fork again.

"Oh, yeah, I meant to tell you. I heard from him on my way home, he called my cell. He said he's going to be out late on a call. I'm assuming he'll be delivering a calf or something. He said he'd check in with us later tonight if you want to talk to him. I know he'll want to know how your therapy went."

Phan nodded. "Yeah, I figured he was in the barns when he didn't check up on me earlier. No big deal if he doesn't call -- it went okay, and I've got cuddles tonight. It'll be fine." Phan gave him a considering look. "Going to be weird, not leaving after snuggling the evening away."

"It's all going to take some getting used to, I guess." Noah agreed with a smile. "I think it will be nice, actually."

"Be nice not to have to go out into the cold night, yeah. Not that it's cold, but I always kind of hated leaving a good cuddle to get a ride home -- weird bouncing reality thing." He ate another mouthful and reached for his glass. "So did you tell your partner you'd suddenly gotten a roommate? Oh, hey, you tell her you're moving?"

"No, I haven't told her any of that yet." Noah wasn't entirely sure why he was holding back about it; Carol had been pretty open-minded about him so far. "She knows I'm queer, she knows about Sir, but she doesn't know about my lifestyle, you know? And suddenly adding a third into the picture and all of us moving in together... just seems like a lot for a fairly straightlaced mother of two to swallow all at once. I don't know. I guess she's going to find out eventually."

"She's a mom?" Phan raised an eyebrow. "Neat. Good shift to have, too, home for supper each night." He got up and took his plate to the counter, having eaten only slightly more than half his portion. Noah was beginning to see a correlation between therapy and lack of appetite -- though Phan had certainly taken his share of pizza the day he'd left Bradford's. "Want to take the rest for lunch tomorrow?" Phan said, pointing to the casserole dish. "I can pack it to go for you."

"Now you're packing my lunch for me, too, Mom?" Noah grinned, still finishing off his plate.

Phan's cheeks colored. "Sorry?"

Noah winced. "Joke, hon. Cleaning up after me, making me dinner, packing my lunch... I was just joking. Sorry."

Phan gave him a wan smile. "Don't be. I'm kind of steamrolling along here. It's... this is what I do. I take care of... well, of my Master. And you're not my Master, but this is your place and I kind of just fall into a place where I
do
." He walked over and leaned on the table by Noah, looking him in the eye. "It's going to take us all a little getting used to -- I never even really noticed that I do this. Tell me cut it out, yeah?"

"Phan," Noah said, getting up and leaning on the table beside him. "It
is
what you do. I know. I do it, too." He took Phan's hand in his and ran his fingers over the back of it. "I wouldn't want to sit around here all day waiting for someone to give me a purpose any more than I want to let Sir pay the mortgage on the new place by himself when I have a perfectly good salary coming in. I get it. But I'm not your Master, I'm your peer. We're equals, you and me, especially when we're here at my place, on our own."

Phan nodded. "I know," he said softly. "So, if you want to take that for lunch you can damn well pack it yourself." And then he took off for the living room, giggling madly.

Noah laughed, and pretty hard, too. He followed Phan into the living room. "But who's going to do the dishes?" he joked, getting an arm around Phan's waist and wrestling him to the couch. "I suppose you expect me to do that, too?"

"Well, Sir isn't going to do them!" Phan laughed harder, rolling them over, and Noah found himself pinned down. "Maybe you should have brought one of those kittens home to lick the plates."

"Probably would have been a good idea, as my house boy is falling down on the job." Noah grinned and made a show of struggling. Phan wasn't that strong, and if Noah really wanted to get free he had no doubts that he could. But what fun would that be? "Why, Phan, I had no idea you were so aggressive."

"I just know what you like," Phan said with a wink. He made a show of pinning Noah's shoulders down and grinned before leaning down to kiss Noah's mouth quickly.

Noah smiled up at him after the kiss. He caught Phan's eyes and made sure his words had weight. "You are such a sweetheart, you know that?" He leaned up and kissed Phan in return, deliberately lingering a bit. "Now let me up before we get ourselves in trouble."

"You're the sweetheart. Sir says so," Phan said with another smile. He looked pleased, though, and rolled off Noah, landing on the floor with a thump. "Thanks for not just shoving me -- know you could have. It would have been really embarrassing, totally blowing away my tough guy act."

"Well, you know, I try to be good for the ego." Noah got to his feet. "I better get those dishes done. Come tell me what Dr. Brewer thinks of us this week." He winked and made his way into the kitchen.

Phan trailed along, his hands waving wildly. "Oh, Phantom," he said, falsetto voce. "I'm glad you had a good weekend. I'm glad you seem optimistic. Now, let's talk real life. Phantom, you must see how unhealthy it is to do this. Phantom, you must see you're only putting a Band-Aid on a situation you're clinging to. Phantom, chores and a regular spanking won't make you feel complete." He snorted. "It's bullshit, man."

Noah laughed. "Well, to be fair, to a certain extent she's right, it is a Band-Aid for now. But you have to start somewhere. I don't think any of us knows every step we're taking, but I think we're doing a good job of making sure no one gets run over." He sighed. "I suppose she means that you need to find someone to fall in love with? Is that her job? To make sure you 'feel complete'? I thought it was to help you sort out which of your needs are healthy and which are not? Does she really see us as part of a self-destructive pattern?"

All right, he was a little defensive. Fine, so what? The shrink wasn't getting how much of their relationship he and Tobias were redefining to include Phan. She obviously had no clue as to what lengths Tobias would go to see Phan safe and healthy. She clearly didn't understand how much Noah cared about Phan, either.

He was starting to think someone ought to tell her.

"I don't know," Phan said with another sweep of his arm. "She's supposed to... to be a safe ear right? Not judging. Now, granted, if I said I was going to start parachute classes and the first day we were going to jump without a chute just to practice the jump part -- then I'd like it if she said something. But this... Noah, I've been kinky all my life. I've been a sub ever since I can remember, and Sir is the best, most respectful Top I've ever had. I know I'm safe with him, no matter what my mental state is -- that's part of why we split up. I didn't want to be safe, and I knew he wouldn't hurt me."

Noah paused in his dishwashing and looked at Phan. "I see that, though I'm surprised to hear you say it that way. I guess she's been some help, but I don't think she's being non-judgmental right now. That's just my opinion, of course, and I'm kind of prejudiced, so maybe I should keep my opinions to myself."

Phan grabbed a tea towel and started drying. "Oh, I totally get that she's not being completely professional," he said slowly. "I just don't think it's me she's judging." When Noah looked over, Phan was very carefully studying the plate he was drying, not meeting Noah's eyes.

Well, Noah had always been part of Phan's therapy, so she certainly wasn't judging him either. "You think it's Sir."

"I think... I think she's unimpressed." He sighed and put the plate down and went to put the leftovers in a container. "I get the impression that she's questioning his motives."

"What could she possibly think his motives are? Did you tell her it was my idea?" Noah shut the water off and dried his hands on Phan's towel.

"Yeah, I told her." Phan rolled his eyes. "She just nodded and made a note. She doesn't say much -- and honestly, aside from this she's been really great -- didn't flinch at all about the floggings or the kinds of punishment I asked for, which was always the stumbling block before. Shrinks tend to want to fix the kink -- at least the ones I've been seeing."

"Well, maybe we should all go talk with her," Noah suggested. It wasn't a preposterous idea, it would be kind of like family therapy or relationship counseling, right? People did that all the time. "I mean, all three of us. She could ask direct questions, get answers... see for herself?" Noah put on the teapot. "You want tea?"

"Tea's good," Phan said absently. He seemed to be studying the far wall. "Could talk to Sir about it, anyway." He shook his head. "Enough about her. Tell me more about your day. Or something. Tired of thinking, kiddo."

Noah smiled. "Yeah, okay, hon." He got two mugs out and set them on the counter. "Tea's in there... pick something. And grab me the mint?"

"Mint?" Phan rummaged around and came up with chamomile and the mint. "God, I thought you meant... real tea. This is all herbal and caffeine free." He raised an eyebrow. "Are you turning into a froufrou fag on me?"