Boots and Wishes: Ugly Stick Saloon, Book 8 (2 page)

Her assistant manager avoided answering by helping Libby serve several customers who’d come to the bar for refills on their beer mugs. When Charli returned to the case of beer, Audrey was waiting.

Charli shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want to be sure before I make as big a commitment as marriage.”

“It’s easy. If you love him.”

“Maybe for you. I was ready to leave the Ugly Stick and Temptation to move to Austin before I met Connor. Now I’m not sure. I’m afraid I’ll get restless again. I don’t want to marry Connor, then get bored and leave. I would hate myself forever if I hurt him.”

“That tells me you love him.”

“Yeah, but is love enough?”

“Oh, honey, it is if you’re willing to put your man’s needs above your own, and he’s willing to do the same.”

Charli shrugged. “Well, I’m not good at the commitment thing.”

“You’ve been living with him going on almost a year. I’d say you’re pretty well committed.”

“Sort of, but marriage is so much more.” Charli settled more bottles in the trough and straightened. “I’m not sure I’m ready.”

“Can you imagine living without him?”

Charli’s eyes widened. “Hell no.”

“Then there you have it.”

Charli smiled. “You make it sound easy.”

Audrey shook her head. “Nothing’s easy about relationships, whether you’re married or living together. It helps when you’re muddling through it all if you love each other. And I’ve seen you two together. There’s love in spades.”

“Thanks, Audrey. Once again, you’re all full of advice for everyone else. You need to take some for yourself.” Charli hugged her. “Relax. It will happen when it happens.”

“Gah!” Audrey threw her hands in the air. “If I hear one more person say that, I’m liable to throw something. We’ve been married long enough I think it’ll stick. But I’m in my thirties and not getting any younger.”

“Please don’t say you’re getting old. You look like you’re nineteen.”

“But I’m not nineteen, Charli. I can hear my biological clock ticking so loudly I can’t hear myself think. At one time in my life I thought owning my own business and having friends would be enough.”

“You’ve accomplished more than most people have in their fifties.”

“Sure. I have the Ugly Stick Saloon.” She’d been so happy when she’d bought the bar, using her hard-earned stripping money. “I have the best employees I can trust and count as my friends.”

“Darn right you do. And we’d do anything for you. You’ve bailed more than one of us out of tight spots.”

“I thought this place was all I needed.” Audrey stared out across the saloon, packed with patrons. Friday night was always crowded. Her gaze gravitated toward the man she loved. “Until I met Jackson, I thought I had it all. Now I want more.”

“And by more, you mean a family to call your own?”

Audrey nodded. “My life won’t be complete until I have Jackson’s children.”

“You have our prayers and wishes. And you can count on me to babysit.” Charli frowned. “Damn. You’re making me rethink my position on marriage. All of the sudden, I’ve been bitten by the baby bug.”

Audrey’s heart lightened and she grabbed Charli’s hands. “Wouldn’t it be great if we were both pregnant at the same time? Our kids could grow up together.”

“Whoa! Wait a minute. One step at a time.” Charli pulled her hands free. “I promised my momma I’d wait to have children until I was properly married. I don’t plan on breaking my promise to my mother, God rest her soul. Let’s work on you first. You can pave the way and show me how easy it is before I commit to marriage, babies and the whole nine yards.”

Audrey nodded. “Okay then. Let’s see if my trucks are loaded with asphalt.”

Charli’s brows furrowed. “Huh?”

“I’m a few days late for my period. I hope to be paving soon.” She squared her shoulders and reached beneath the bar for her purse and the pregnancy kit she’d tucked inside a week ago. Either way, she wanted to know whether or not she was pregnant.

“Oh, Audrey, that’s great. I have my fingers crossed for you and Jackson.” Charli held up both hands, displaying four sets of crossed fingers. “I’d cross my toes if I wasn’t wearing these darned boots.” She gave Audrey a nudge. “Go, pee on the stick or whatever it is you do with one of those. Do you want me to go with you?”

“No. I can manage on my own. I’ve been peeing by myself for thirty-two years.” With excitement building, Audrey tried to catch Jackson’s eye as she walked toward the hallway where the bathrooms were. He was deep in conversation with Mark and Luke. Probably about ranch business.

Oh well. She’d come out in a few minutes with their happy news. She had to believe the sixth time was a charm. It was going to happen.

Audrey entered the bathroom and tore open the box, her hands suddenly shaking, all her hopes for the future wrapped up in that one little box and the magic stick inside.

All she needed was to pee on the test strip, plug it into the stick and wait for the results. She’d even sprung for the more expensive test kit—the one that spelled it out. Either it would say
Pregnant
or
Not Pregnant
. No interpretation required.

When she hovered over the toilet, her knees shook and she struggled to let loose a stream of urine. The last couple of times, she’d had trouble with this, as if not peeing on the strip would change the results.

Drawing on Jackson and Charli’s advice, she relaxed and eventually peed. Shoving the test stick beneath the warm urine, she almost dropped it, she was trembling so badly. Five seconds was all she needed. Thankfully, when she pulled it out, it was damp at the right end of the device.

As she waited the required three minutes, her breath lodged in her throat. Audrey checked her watch. One minute down, nothing on the display screen. She closed her eyes and counted to one hundred, opened her eyes and checked her watch. Two minutes down. A quick glance at the stick’s display window and it was empty.

She took a ragged breath, her heart thundering, her eyes burning. Sitting on the toilet for the last minute was sheer torture. Closing her eyes, she prayed harder than she’d ever prayed before.
Please, God, give me a baby.

Avoiding the test stick, she checked her watch. Four minutes had passed. Turning her gaze to the window, the first word she saw was
Pregnant
.

Her heart leaped into her throat before she saw the other word beside it.

As quickly as her hopes had skyrocketed, they crashed to the earth.

There in the display window were the two words she’d dreaded.

Not Pregnant
.

Chapter Two

“How are things coming along with your family plan?” Luke asked when the conversation about the ranch had petered out.

Jackson glanced at the hallway that led toward the bathrooms. He’d seen Audrey duck back there, carrying her purse with what he suspected was the pregnancy test kit she’d told him about. As soon as he realized what she was about to do, he’d disconnected from the conversation with his brothers, his total focus on Audrey and the outcome of the test.

“Hey, Jackson.” Mark waved a hand in front of Jackson’s face. “Luke asked you a question.”

Jackson dragged his gaze away from the hallway and glanced toward his brother Luke without really seeing him. “What was the question?” Immediately, his gaze returned to the hallway. What the hell was taking her so long?

“I asked if you liked purple people eaters,” Luke said.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Order one for me.” Jackson leaned forward, preparing to stand, when Mark busted out laughing.

“You should see yourself, bro.” Mark slapped his thigh, his eyes brimming with tears of mirth. “You haven’t heard one word we’ve said in the past five minutes.”

“Sorry. Audrey went to the bathroom.”

Mark grinned. “I’m all into Libby, but I don’t follow her to the bathroom unless it’s to share a shower, in which case, I’m there.”

Luke backhanded his brother in the chest. “Back off, Mark. Jackson’s obviously worried about Audrey.”

His grin slipping from his face, Mark touched his brother’s arm. “What’s wrong? Is she sick?”

“Better yet… Is she pregnant?” Luke asked.

“I don’t know.” Jackson continued to stare at the hallway, willing Audrey to emerge. “I think she went in with an early pregnancy test kit.”

Mark joined Jackson in his staring vigil. “How long has she been in there?”

Jackson glanced at his watch. “Over ten minutes.”

“I didn’t think those things took that long,” Luke said.

“Since when did you become an expert on pregnancy tests?” Mark quipped.

Luke shrugged. “I read.”

Jackson pushed to his feet. “I’m going to check on her.”

About the time he rose, the music changed and the waitresses pushed through the crowd to climb up on the bar.

The men in the saloon rose to their feet, clapping and shouting as the waitresses on the bar danced in unison to “Sin Wagon”, an oldie by the Dixie Chicks.

With all the patrons of the bar on their feet, it made it difficult for Jackson to get from the barroom to the hallway with the bathrooms. When he finally reached the hallway, a man and woman were there, in a full-on, leg-sliding, hands-groping kiss, blocking the women’s restroom.

“Excuse me,” Jackson said.

The man and woman grunted but didn’t stop their tonsil gymnastics.

Not caring if he started a fight, Jackson pushed past the two and barged into the women’s restroom.

A woman in a crop top and short, flouncy skirt and cowboy boots looked up from the mirror. “Hey, cowboy, are you lost? Or are you looking for me?”

“I’m looking for Audrey. Have you seen her?”

“Strawberry-blonde, about so high?” The woman in the skirt raised her hand to about Audrey’s height.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“She ran out of here in tears a couple minutes ago.” The woman’s welcoming smile disappeared, a frown denting her brow. “Were you the one who made her cry?”

“No. Yes. Hell, I don’t know.” He spun on his heel and slammed back through the door, more anxious than ever to find Audrey. If she was crying, the news wasn’t good. He pushed aside his own disappointment and went in search of her, praying she didn’t do something stupid in her grief. Why couldn’t she understand that she meant everything to him? They didn’t need to have children to make their lives complete.

By the time he reached the hallway leading to the storeroom, backstage and rear exit, it had been closer to fifteen minutes since he’d seen Audrey head to the bathroom with the kit in hand. He hated to think of how torn up she would be about the negative test result. He was a man who liked to fix things. Give him a fence, he could restring barbwire like a pro. Broken corral panel? He’d have it measured, cut and nailed in no time. But this was one thing he couldn’t fix, and it frustrated the hell out of him. Why did getting pregnant have to be so darned hard?

Jackson ducked into the storeroom where he and Audrey had made love earlier. No sign of his pretty wife. A quick run through the backstage area where she kept the costumes for the stripper shows turned up nothing. Jackson headed for the rear exit. If she was that badly upset, she might get in her truck and leave. He could only hope she headed home. But what if she didn’t and she got in a wreck and he couldn’t find her until…

His mind conjuring every bad scenario he could imagine, Jackson blew through the back exit and screeched to a halt so fast he almost fell on his face.

There in the far corner of the rear parking lot stood a beat-up old camper, towed by an equally derelict truck. The woman standing beside it was a small, dark-haired pixie with a heart-shaped face sporting dark shadows beneath her eyes.

Beside her stood Audrey, her face tear streaked, but a shaky smile pasted over her own sadness. She wrapped her arm around the smaller woman and hugged her.

Over the din of music radiating from inside the building, Jackson heard Audrey say, “You can work for me until you get on your feet.”

He almost laughed out loud with the relief he felt. All Audrey needed was someone else to worry about to push her own disappointment aside.

This dark-haired waif in distress was just what Audrey needed.

Jackson sent a silent prayer of thanks to the gods of his Kiowa ancestors and stepped up to the two women. “Audrey, are you going to introduce me to your friend?”

Audrey lifted her ravaged face up to Jackson and brushed away a ready tear that slipped from the corner of her eye.

He squeezed her arm in recognition of her pain, smiled at the stranger and stuck out his hand. “I’m Jackson Gray Wolf. Audrey’s husband.”

The small woman laid her hand in his. It felt so tiny and fragile until she squeezed his hand with a firm grip. “I’m E—” She paused, pressed her lips together, then started over. “I’m Beth Smith.” She turned toward Audrey, a worried frown wrinkling her pale skin, her hair hanging over her temple, almost blocking one of her eyes. “I was just telling your wife that I’ve run out of gas.”

“We can help you get to a gas station.” Jackson draped an arm over Audrey’s shoulder.

She leaned against him, slipping her arm around his waist. “The truck stop at the highway junction in Temptation stays open twenty-four hours.”

“I keep a spare gas can in the back of my truck,” Jackson offered.

“I don’t want to be any trouble. But I was also telling Audrey that not only did I run out of gas, I’m short on funds.” She dipped her head.

Audrey smiled at the woman. “I offered to let her park her camper out back here until she earns enough money to fund her travels. She can work at the Ugly Stick Saloon.”

Beth glanced at the saloon and back at the trailer. The hair over her temple shifted, exposing a purple bruise. “I’d love to help, but I’m not sure that I can.”

Audrey shrugged. “Of course, you might not want to work in a saloon. I sometimes forget not everyone approves of drinking and dancing. No worries. I’m sure we can find something more suitable in Temptation.”

Beth reached out for Audrey’s hand. “No, it’s not that I disapprove, it’s just that I have…commitments—”

A small cry sounded from inside the camp trailer.

Audrey stiffened beside Jackson, the hand around his waist tightened and her fingernails dug into his skin.

“Excuse me. I was in the middle of feeding time.” Beth spun and darted into the trailer as the cries became more urgent.

With each tiny cry Jackson’s gut knotted more and he sucked in a breath, preparing to catch Audrey as she fell apart.

The baby’s cry reached into Audrey’s heart and tugged hard. She tried to swallow past the lump in her throat. What cruel trick was God playing on her? She’d asked Him to give her a baby. Not flaunt another woman’s baby at her as she continued to be barren, childless and empty.

Like a rubbernecker drawn to an auto accident, Audrey couldn’t turn away, couldn’t leave when her feet were firmly rooted to the ground. Her heart slowed to a dull, heavy plod as she waited for Beth to emerge from the trailer, a tiny infant in her arms.

Beth held the child and her face softened in a warm smile as she balanced the baby on her arm while holding a bottle with her other hand. Glancing up, she said, “This is Mia. My daughter.”

Audrey couldn’t make her mouth form words. She stood in dumb silence, her gaze riveted on the infant child.

Thankfully, Jackson could speak and he did. “Well hello, Mia.” He leaned over the baby and touched her cheek. “How old is she?”

“One month and six days,” Beth said, her voice little more than a whisper.

“Isn’t it kind of soon to be on the road with one that small?” Jackson noted.

Beth glanced away, her lips thinning. “We had no choice. I’d reached the end of my…lease. I had to leave.”

“Where are you headed? Maybe we can help you get there,” Jackson offered.

Audrey stood stock-still, a solid lump lodged firmly in her throat, taking it all in but unable to offer any words of advice or comfort when her own heart was breaking.

She wasn’t pregnant. Holding her own baby in her arms was never further out of her reach than at that moment.

Again Beth stared off into the distance, anywhere but at Jackson. “I’m headed west.”

“Is your family expecting you? You could always use the phone inside if you’d like to call. Cell phones are not very reliable out here.” Jackson waved a hand toward the saloon.

“No.” Beth’s eyes widened. “No, I don’t have any family. It’s just me and Mia.”

“I could pull the trailer to a campground tomorrow. You might be more comfortable with hookups than back here behind the saloon.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay here for at least the night. I’ve been on the road for twelve hours. It’s hard on Mia and we’re both just so very tired.”

Audrey’s empathy finally pushed past the heartache of seeing baby Mia. “There’s no question about it. You can stay here as long as you need to. And we can help you out with money for gas, food or whatever you need until you’re on your feet.”

Beth pushed her shoulders back and lifted her chin. “I won’t take charity. I can work as long as I can find a babysitter to care for Mia while I do.”

“Of course. I’m sure we can help you out with that as well. Between me and Jackson, we know a lot of folks in the community. I’m sure someone would be happy to keep an eye on Mia.”

The frown furrowing Beth’s brow lifted, and she gave Audrey a tired smile. “Thank you. You don’t know how much this means to me.”

“Are you sure you don’t have anyone you need to contact to let them know where you are and that you’re okay?” Audrey asked.

Beth shook her head. “I don’t have any family. None.”

“Okay.” Audrey lifted her hands in surrender. “I just can’t imagine traveling such a long way with an infant so young.”

“We’ll be fine, won’t we, Mia?” Beth leaned down and kissed the baby’s cheek.

“She’s a beautiful baby.” Jackson touched the baby’s cheek again.

“Do you want to hold her?” Beth asked, holding the baby out to Audrey.

Audrey’s chest squeezed so hard she could barely breathe. “No, thank you.”

“I do.” Jackson held out his hands.

Beth laid the infant in his arms, glancing up at him nervously.

“I promise not to drop her.” Jackson smiled reassuringly.

She handed him the bottle. “If you brush it across her lips, she’ll latch on.”

Following her instruction, Jackson slid the milky nipple across the infant’s lips.

Like a baby bird, Mia opened her mouth and followed the nipple until Jackson slipped it in. With a sigh, she sucked on the bottle, her eyes closed, her tiny fist pressed against her cheek.

Jackson looked so natural. The towering Native American with his swarthy skin and big hands held the baby like she was made of glass, cradled in his arm, letting her suckle from the bottle. Jackson would be a great father.

Audrey ached inside and would have turned and walked away if Beth hadn’t stepped up to her and hugged her neck. “Thank you for helping me. I was beginning to lose hope.”

With a great amount of effort, Audrey pushed aside her own disappointment and hugged the woman back. “You’ll be okay. You’re among friends here. We’ll help you get on your feet.”

“God bless you,” Beth whispered.

“Do you have a shower and bathroom facilities in your trailer?” Jackson asked.

“I do. I have enough water for another day or two. Then I’ll have to get to a campsite for the hookups. I really didn’t think ahead when I left yesterday morning, or I would have filled the tanks and pantry.”

“Do you have enough formula and diapers for Mia?”

She smiled. “I have enough for the week. After that…” Beth’s lips twisted. “I suppose the sooner I start earning money, the better.”

“Don’t you worry about a thing.” Audrey clapped her hands, determined to pull herself together and think about someone other than herself. “I know at least half a dozen women who’d give their eyeteeth to hold sweet Mia through the evening hours while you’re working. And that will leave you all day to spend with your daughter.”

“That would be a wonderful if you can refer someone to me. I’ve never left Mia with anyone and I don’t know a soul around here.”

Audrey nodded. “I’d be glad to. For the most part, people are friendly and eager to help.”

“If you and Jackson are any indication, I’d believe it.” Beth held out her arms for Mia.

Jackson handed her over, easing the baby into her mother’s hold. “She’s so small.”

“She was three weeks premature. But she’s up to seven pounds already.”

“I’ve held puppies bigger than Mia.” Jackson shook his head. “Are you sure she’s old enough to travel?”

“If I’d had any other choice, I wouldn’t have moved her.” She held the baby up to her shoulder and patted her back until the baby released an air bubble in a whisper of a burp.