Born of Betrayal (18 page)

With exception of clearing his throat, Kareem betrayed no sign of discomfort. “Commander? Um … can you lead me through your attack? I need to file a report on what exactly happened during the fight. I just need your debriefing on what led to the encounter and what actions Commander Hauk took during and after it. You're not in any kind of trouble. This is a routine report. Nothing more.”

Yeah, right. She knew better. His careful tone and rigid manner belied those words. “Commander Hauk and I were flying out to try and signal his brother when we were attacked.”

“Why were you out there? Why not contact his brother from the base?”

“That's Sentella business.”

“Yes, but you didn't have to leave the station for that.”

She arched her brow at his tone. “Are you accusing me of something?”

“No, Commander. Just curious why you left, is all. Seems strange.”

“And as the Alliance commander, I don't answer to you. If your father has questions, he can take them up with me himself.” She rose.

“Wait, Commander, please. I didn't mean to offend you. But there is one more thing I do have to ask you.”

“That is?”

“Are you a trained and licensed pilot?”

*   *   *

Fain crossed his arms over his chest as he stared through the plasma bars at Venik. Completely calm and uncaring about his owner's fury, he blinked slowly and methodically. Then he cursed as his nose started bleeding again. From experience, he knew it'd be plaguing him like this for days to come.

As would the current headache that throbbed like a mother.

He'd never wanted the neural implants. Ven had forced this shit on him. Now he wanted to hang him with it.

Typical.

Fain wiped the blood away and dared Ven with his gaze to say anything about it.

Curling his lip, Venik started forward, then remembered the bars that would have seared him had he made the mistake of touching them. “Have you any idea the shitstorm you could bring down on both our asses for that stunt you pulled? You owe me, Hauk! Or have you forgotten how I found you?”

Fain laughed bitterly at the reminder Venik threw in his face every time they locked horns. “Yeah, I remember that day. How could I ever forget you dragging me out of my confinement cell by my hair, with my hands shackled behind my back, then shooting out both my knees before you held me down on the ground with your foot on my throat, and bragged to your crew about how easy it was to quell a mighty War Hauk kid who was already half dead from starvation and months of being brutally beaten by his slavers. Yeah, Ven, you were some big fucking awesome Tavali badass who defeated my worn-out piece-of-shit hide.” He clapped sarcastically. “As always, I am in awe of your awesome fighting skills.”

Venik pulled out the trigger for Fain's implant and held it up for him to see it. “I should have killed you.”

“Probably.” Fain gestured at the small trigger. “Still not too late. You wouldn't even have to get your hands dirty.” He glanced at the drab gray walls. “Place could use a bright splash of color. Nothing better than brain matter on steel to put the fear of the gods in your enemies. Go for it.”

For a full minute, he thought he might have finally pushed Venik too far.

But just as Venik started to press the release to kill him, he growled and returned it to his pocket. “I don't know why I tolerate you.”

“I'm the only one who tells you the truth. Without fear.”

A tic started in Venik's jaw while he stared at Fain as if trying to see into his soul.

After a long wait, he finally hit the release for the bars. “Yeah, you crave nothing. Never have. All the years I've known you, you've never asked me for anything except time away from service to see to your brother's needs. Never anything for yourself. It's why I don't believe the lies someone's spewing against your honor. But trust doesn't come easy to me and you know that. You know why. As you said, you have plenty of reason to hate me. More than most. And I understand that, too. I did things to you that I regret in hindsight. Unfortunately, I can't change what I did to you because I hated others. We both have to live with my mistakes, and for that I am sorry. I met you at a bad place in my life. And you paid for a hatred that wasn't yours.” Ven let out a heavy sigh. “But don't make me have to kill you, Hauk. End of the day, I will do it if I have to. You know I will.”

Fain snorted. “Now you're just trying to turn me on. Don't make promises to me you're not going to keep. That's just wrong, Ven.”

Venik rolled his eyes. “You're a sick bastard.”

Without commenting on something they both knew was true, Fain took his gear from Venik and strapped his blasters to his hips as he headed back toward the hangar.

But as he left the retention area, he almost collided with Galene, who was waiting in the hallway.

He froze at the sight of her. And at the tender expression on her face.

“Was all that true?”

“What? That I'm an asshole? Yeah. It's what everyone keeps telling me. Talyn said he even took a survey and everyone agreed unanimously on that one core fact about my personality.” He expected her to duplicate Venik's expression and sounds of irritation, but for once, she disappointed him.

Instead, she reached up to brush the braids back from his face and cup his cheek in a tender gesture of affection. She traced the line of his eyebrow with her thumb. “It amazes me how similar you and your son are to have had no contact with each other. My two little lorina twins.”

Those words choked him. It was the first time she'd really called Talyn his, without it being meant to hurt him. “So we both chafe your ass, huh?”

She sighed with a light smile at that. “At times … Talyn, like you, verbally shoves everyone back to protect himself. If he goads them into rejecting him first, then he controls the rejection. That way, when they insult him for things he can't help, it doesn't bother him. He feels as if he earned it and he can accept their hostility and judgment without pain. Just like you always did as a boy.”

Fain fell silent as he realized how right she was. As a War Hauk on Andaria, he'd been judged by everyone. Because of his family's fame and legacy, and Keris's overachievements, so much had been expected of him that it'd been hard to function, especially as a kid. That was part of what had led to Keris's drug addiction. They were all walking freaks of nature. Everyone stared at them. Wanted to meet and touch them.

Wanted to put them down and show that he and his brothers weren't any better than anyone else. And they weren't. They'd never said they were.

Yes, they were the direct descendants of the celebrated family that had held off foreign invaders, and paid for it with their lives, but in his mind, in the minds of their family, that was what Andarions did.

All
Andarions.

It didn't make them special. It was just expected. They fought when confronted. No matter the size of the enemy. Unfortunately, the rest of the Androkyn didn't feel that way. They'd swung between hostile and rude, or worshipful and frightening.

Keris had found comfort from the pressure of that condemnation and expectation in drugs. Dancer had found solace in befriending their prince, who was an even bigger freak than they were. And so Dancer's fame had been deflected to Jullien, whose notoriety and life under a biting microscope outshone his.

Caught between them in age, Fain had been hung out to dry. The only place of comfort he'd ever known was in the arms of the female in front of him. Galene had never judged him by his family or lineage. She, alone, had seen him for who and what he really was. And after she'd left, he'd had no one at all.

Now the warmth of her hand seared his skin. And with it came a surge of raw misery that washed over him as he stepped back, out of her reach. “Don't, Galene.”

She scowled at him. “Don't what?”

“Don't show me the light and then damn me back to the darkness.” He couldn't mentally handle it again. It'd taken him too long to get to a place where he could function without her.

Too long to find peace in a universe that begrudged him a life he'd never asked for.

Bitter and pissed, he glanced past her shoulder to where Venik stared curiously at them. Brax was just one of many reasons why he couldn't let anyone close to him. “I don't know what I was thinking. It was a stupid dream.”

And he'd been an idiot to believe for one minute that he could ever have a normal life again. She was the prime commander for the Andarion armada. Best friend to the Andarion queen.

He was an Outcast.

Yes, Cairistiona had adopted him, but that wasn't real. She'd only done it to strike at his mother—the bitch she hated who had embarrassed Cairistiona when they were young.

I'm done being a pawn.
It was time to remove himself from the game before he brought any more shame to his family. And hurt to himself.

His heart breaking with a reality he could never change, he left and headed back toward his ship.

For a few heartbeats, he thought he was home free. Until he heard Galene approaching him from behind.

She pulled him to a stop. Her hesitant touch and the longing it brought wrung more pain from him than he would have thought bearable. It took everything he had not to crush her against him and run as far away from here with her as he could.

But Ven and the others would find him. They'd drag him back. There was no escape. He'd never been free.

He could never be free.

Galene's breath caught as she saw the utter misery in Fain's eyes. The unguarded pain on his face. “Chayden and Morra pulled the logs on your ship and doctored them before The Tavali got to them. They told me what you risked for me. And I told Kareem that I assisted you in the battle and with the flight. I didn't know why he asked until the interview was over and Chayden met me outside to tell me that you weren't supposed to show me what you did. Why would you risk a death sentence?”

“You know why, Stormy.”

“No, I don't.” She scowled up at him. “You confuse me so much, and…” She cursed as her earpiece went off. Stepping back irritably, she tapped it. “Commander Batur.”

Fain watched the emotions play across her beautiful face. Galene had never been able to hide her feelings well. It was one of the things he'd loved most about her. He never had to guess. She let everyone know exactly how she felt about everything.

“Is there a problem?”

“Another transmission.” Biting her lip, she hesitated. “I want to finish this discussion.”

He snorted bitterly. “I'm not going anywhere.”

To his shock, she took his hand in hers and led it to her soft cheek. Closing her eyes, she nuzzled his fingers and placed a tender kiss to his palm that left him hard and aching. “What did Venik mean when he said he did things to you that he regretted?”

“He turned me into a cyborg.”

She shook her head. “No. There was more to it than that.”

Looking away, Fain dropped his hand as old memories surged. “I don't want to talk about it. It doesn't matter.”

She cupped his cheek and forced him to meet her gaze. “Yes, it does. You can try to bury it, but it always comes back to hurt you. No one knows that better than I do.”

He winced at her words. “I
never
meant to hurt you. I thought you'd forget about me and have a better life. I swear to the gods, I did.”

“I know that now. And it wasn't that bad. Not really. My fears for Talyn notwithstanding, we had a good life for the most part. The best memories of my life have been because of you, Fain, and the son you gave me. You would have been so proud of him. He has been an honor to us both.”

“Spoken like a true Andarion mother.”

She laughed. “Come with me. Learn about the son you haven't known. The two of you have been strangers long enough.”

He swallowed hard at the sensation of her hand on his as he felt the old surge of protectiveness hit him. The ferocity of it was overwhelming. For a full minute, he couldn't breathe. It was a fire in his blood unlike anything else he'd ever experienced. And only Galene had ever made him feel it.

Damn. It was why he would always be stupid for her and her alone. She owned him more than Venik ever could.

And she didn't need a kill switch. One frown could gut him. One harsh word was like a knife to his heart.

Hating how much control she had over his life, he followed her back to the command center, where Talyn and Gavarian were again on duty. Only this time, they had Tavali with them, so they were much more guarded with their words.

Talyn passed a warning glance to the one Tavali to let them know whom he was most suspicious of before he greeted his mother. “Commander.” He handed his band over to her. “The League seems to be in retreat, for now.”

“Thank you, Commander.” She smiled at her son and his military decorum. “Why don't you and the major take your breaks?”

“Yes, ma'am.” As he started for the door, it slid open to admit a small human male.

Galene was stunned at the boy's presence.

The nine-year-old was bashful and adorable. With brown hair and sad blue eyes, he quickly scanned the group and stepped back at the sight of Gavarian and Talyn, who were giants in comparison to his small size.

Talyn scowled at him, but gentled his tone when he spoke. “Civilians aren't allowed in here.”

The Tavali closest to the boy laughed. “It's all right. I'm sure he just wants his dad.”

Fain sucked his breath in sharply as Talyn arched a brow.

“His father?” Talyn asked.

The Tavali pointed to Fain. “Hauk.”

If expressions were lethal, Fain's guts would be smeared all over the instrument panel behind him. He wasn't sure who hated him most in that moment, Galene, Talyn, or Gavarian.