BorntobeWild (11 page)

“You get hyped after a gig?”

“Sure.” He took a deep gulp, his throat working as he
swallowed. “Not like I used to but I feel it still. I don’t do the things I
used to.”

“The drugs and shit?”

“Yeah, the drugs and shit. Though mainly the shit.” He
sighed. “The girls.”

“They were your drugs?”

He grimaced, his mouth flattening. “They were. You need to
know that because people will tell you.”

She narrowed her eyes. She was on to something here. Why the
defensive attitude, as if his behavior had something to do with her? “Are you
telling me because of what the reporter said out there?”

“Partly. It made me realize your past never dies. It lurks
in the shadows, ready to leap out and bite you.”

She shook her head. “If you let it. I know what you did. I
saw it in the press.” She took a deep breath for courage, ignoring the shaft of
pain from her injury.

She glanced away to see several smartly dressed people
approaching them. So smart they stood out in this crowd, because they wore city-smart,
opera-smart, though not first-night-opera-smart. That would have been low-cut
gowns and diamonds, although the pearls around the older woman’s neck appeared
real enough.

They would be. The Shiraishis were a wealthy family. They
wore polished smiles, everything about them perfect. The men’s suits fitted
beautifully, the women’s dresses and neat slacks a symphony of well-matched
outfits, conservative, smoothly effortless.

Riku gripped her hand a little too hard. She moved close and
took a sip of her beer.

Chick watched from a short distance away and he exchanged a
glance with her. He was there for Riku too.

“Mom, Dad.” Riku greeted them casually. “Can I get you a
drink? Beer?”

That was sheer devilment, because Cyn couldn’t imagine these
people drinking anything as vulgar as beer. Probably tea from china cups or dry
martinis. The man, Riku’s father, frowned. “No thank you. We wanted to see what
you were doing with your time.” His face broke into a sudden smile. “We are
pleased you have made a success of your life.”

Cyn didn’t understand why Mr. Shiraishi spoke with such formality.
His voice didn’t have a trace of an accent. It occurred to her she knew little
about Riku’s past—only what most people knew, with the tiny addition of him not
contacting them much. Being out of touch. Many families lost touch over the
years, a sad but true fact these days, but she sensed more. She could almost
taste the tension surrounding them.

“We’d like to ask you to dinner,” Mrs. Shiraishi said. “Are
you in New York for long?”

Riku glanced at Cyn. “Probably. It depends.”

On her. If she wanted him. Of course she did but she still
had to get through the ordeal of showing him her bruises and confessing he’d
damaged her when he fell on her. The idea made her glance away uncomfortably.
Not the impression she wished to make on his parents.

“Do you remember Cyn?” Riku put his arm carefully around her
shoulders. She held her breath, preparing for the impact when he pulled her to
his side. Pain shot through her but she didn’t respond, other than bracing her
muscles. He glanced at her smiling, but she hid her pain and put on a practiced
smile.

“I went to the institute too.”

“Ah yes.” His mother regarded her dispassionately, as if
examining a bug pinned to a board. “You didn’t finish the course.”

“I finished it.” She didn’t want to talk about it. “I design
jewelry now.”

Mrs. Shiraishi turned her attention to the necklace around
Riku’s throat. “Good workmanship but not my personal taste.” She touched her
pearls. “I prefer something more classic in design.”

Anger sparked, as it always did when someone disparaged her
work. That touch indicated so much more than personal taste and she suspected it
was meant to rile her. “Many people don’t.” She clamped her mouth shut,
determined to say no more.

Riku had watched the brief exchange but now he took a hand. “Cyn
and I have both taken new paths in life.”

“You have made a great success,” his father said. “We are
pleased.” As if he’d done it for them.

Cyn began to understand this family dynamic. Riku hadn’t
taken the path they’d chosen for him but now he’d proven himself. They were
willing to bring him back into the fold. He might prove an asset.

Vile. She hated his family on his behalf. Riku was sensitive
and strong. He’d had the courage to break out to do what he wanted in life. His
family kept their distance until he became a roaring success, not because they
were indifferent or couldn’t understand like her mother but because they
refused to tolerate failure.

She wouldn’t leave him alone to face them. She’d determined
that before she’d met them and now she knew she’d made the right decision.

Chick glanced at his phone and walked over to them. Thank
God. She couldn’t wait to get away, stifled by their obvious disapproval of
her. The two younger women studied her silently, the younger man with
speculation. He’d have to wait a long time to get into her knickers, like
forever. Riku was taller and broader than the rest of his family but that might
make him more awkward, not less. A bull in a china shop instead of the greatest
tree in the forest.

Neither suited him but she didn’t have a chance to think of
a better metaphor, because Chick had reached them. “That guy,” he said. “The
one with the knife. It wasn’t a combat weapon, he wanted to give it you to wear
onstage. Blunt as my dick.” He didn’t apologize, barely acknowledged the
Shiraishis. They’d angered Chick too, she guessed.

“A relief.” Riku turned to Cyn, concerned etched on his
face, the lines about his eyes deepening as he frowned. “I need to take you
home. I knocked you down hard and I don’t want you standing around here.” He
glanced at his folks. “Sorry. Yes, I’d like to have dinner with you.
We’d
like to have dinner. At home?”

“No, at the Ristorante Veneziano,” his father said. He shot
Cyn a venomous look that luckily his son didn’t catch. “We are delighted to
have you both as our guests.”

A restaurant? Even one of the swishiest in town. It wasn’t
right that they wouldn’t have him home and reconcile in private. Unless, she
realized, they wanted to be seen with him to take some of his kudos for their
own.

“My parents always do their entertaining in restaurants,”
Riku murmured.

Would they have asked him to their home had he not made it
clear she was invited too? Cyn wasn’t sure but she needed to leave this stuffy
room. She took another drink, a deeper gulp this time. The pain took her by
surprise and she coughed then whimpered.

“We are going home,” Riku said firmly and Chick nodded.

“I’ll get you a car.” He spared the Shiraishis a glance. “Always
good to meet the families of the band. I’m surprised you didn’t want to catch
him before the performance.”

“Pressure of work,” Mr. Shiraishi said. “You know how it is.”

“No.” Chick turned his back in order to study Cyn. “We’ll
get you back in no time. Ray says get in the tub and soak. It’ll ease the
injury. Take the strapping off and don’t put it back on.”

“Strapping, what strapping?” Alarmed, Riku slid his hand
down her side, gently but he must have felt the heavy bandages taped around her
and he definitely felt her wince. “Shit, what’s happened? What did I do?”

She closed her eyes. “Let me tell you later. I’m fine,
honestly.”

Riku spared his parents one glance. “What time tomorrow?”

“Eight for eight thirty,” Mr. Shiraishi said.

“I can’t promise to be there but I’ll send word if we can’t.
I’m sorry but Cyn was hurt earlier tonight. Worse than I thought. She comes
first.”

She placed her palm on his chest. “No, you have to meet with
your family.”

“Not without you,” he said firmly. “Come on. Thank Ray for
me,” he added to Chick.

“Sure.”

Riku bent his head, nuzzled her forehead. “You want me to
carry you?”

“Fuck no.”

Oh shit. She’d probably screwed up any chance she had of
ingratiating herself with his parents by using foul language. For his sake she
wanted some kind of reconciliation to take place. Something was wrong here.

“There’s plenty of room.”

Riku looked at Cyn wallowing in his large bathtub and
groaned. “I still want you but we can’t.”

“We could. In the bath. The ice packs helped a lot and Chick
found me some painkillers. It hurts if I move quickly, but if I remember and
take care I can minimize the pain.”

“You have cracked
ribs
, woman.” He ran his hands over
his face. “
I
cracked them.” Guilt lanced him, the pain agonizing but not
as bad as hers.

“Better than getting stabbed.” She smiled and he watched her
chest move as she breathed. He’d had a word or two with Ray before they left
and he was specific about what he wanted her to do.

Ray had processed the information swiftly and succinctly as
she’d waited in the car. “Don’t put the strapping back on. Make her sleep on
her injured side, because the pressure will help to keep the bone in place. Get
her x-rayed in the morning as a precaution and make her breathe deeply every so
often.” He clasped Riku’s forearm. “You did everything you could to protect
her. I couldn’t have done better.”

Riku knew Ray was telling him not to blame himself but it
didn’t help. He did. He’d brought her home, undressed her and gotten her into
the bath. They got the strapping and tape off when they were soaked enough to
loosen.

A hot bath with the best bubbles he could find in his
cabinet. He didn’t go in for froth as a rule but they obscured her delectable
body and stopped him going places he shouldn’t. Except her nipples crested the
surface every now and then, distracting him from his resolution. He’d get her
to bed, settled, feed her and only join her later, when she was asleep. Except
she looked gorgeous asleep too. He wanted—needed—to stay close to her and
ensure she got a decent night’s rest.

“Breathe,” he said, remembering Ray’s instructions. “Nice
and deep.”

“Bastard.” She grimaced and took a deep breath. Her breasts
peeked above the water again and he tried not to look. Like he’d try not to
look if an embarrassed elephant sat in the room. Impossible.

“Nice and easy.” He was a bastard for thinking of sex when
she was suffering. They didn’t know if she’d fractured or bruised her ribs yet.
Riku wanted to rush her to the nearest hospital but Ray told him they wouldn’t
do anything anyway, it was only for information and the treatment was the same,
so they’d keep the appointment in the morning.

He wanted to howl his distress to the moon. He’d hurt her.

“Okay.” She gasped after a few breaths. “Any more of those
and I’ll get dizzy. Can I get out yet?”

“Are you hungry?”

She shook her head. “Not one bit. I should be, I guess but
no. Not thirsty either, before you ask. Why are you so eager to get away?”

“I’m not. Just making you comfortable, that’s all.”

Her eyes turned sultry. “I can think of one thing that would
make me comfortable.”

“No.”

He’d never seen her pout before. Interesting. “But if we’re
careful…”

“How the fuck can we be careful?” He sprang to his feet and
took a few steps then came back. His clothes lay crumpled and disregarded in a
corner of the bathroom, looking like the newspapers they imitated.

The only thing he’d taken care with was the necklace, which
he’d laid on his dresser in the bedroom. The rest had gone and he’d showered
efficiently, using the one in here, never taking his attention from Cyn as she
lay in the bath.

He’d seen to her needs first, naturally. He’d needed the
excuse of the shower to recover from the sight of her, especially the swelling
and incipient bruising spreading over her chest. He must have fallen more
heavily on her left side, because that already showed dark purple, nearly black
in places.

Shit, that had to hurt. If Ray hadn’t applied the ice packs
so assiduously it could have looked much worse. Her breathing made him happier,
because although uncomfortable she did it without effort that screamed danger
to him. Happier was relative. Happier than furious and distressed, maybe.

He thrust his fingers through his hair, shoving it out the
way and turned back to face her. “Cyn, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” she said, so mildly he realized she was holding her
anger back. “Don’t say that again. It wasn’t your fault. You were protecting me
and for all we knew that could have been an assassin.”

She gripped the side of the bathtub, her knuckles gleaming
white. A tendril of her hair fell from the messy knot he’d bundled it into at
her request. Guess he wasn’t too good at doing women’s hair. He could do his
own but hers was finer and softer than his. “I’m just glad Chick found out why
he was there.”

“But not how he got through. He’s still working on that.”
Security at venues could be very difficult because it was different every time.
He was sure nobody had behaved negligently but he trusted Chick to take care of
that aspect. “The first thing I thought about was you.” No consideration for
himself or his own safety. He hadn’t given a fuck about that as long as Cyn was
safe.

And he’d hurt her. He couldn’t get over that part. The fan
hadn’t caused the injuries marking her skin and he hadn’t damaged her ribs.
Riku had.

“There’s one way you can make it up to me.” She still wore
that sultry expression. Oh fuck, he was a monster for wanting her now.

“No, Cyn. I’ll tuck you up in bed and bring you some food.”

“I won’t eat it.” She was behaving like a sulky schoolgirl
but the sexiest one he’d ever seen. Pouting was the least of it. She shifted,
her breasts cresting the foamy water, making his mouth water.

“You will.”

“I will if you come here and join me.”

He told himself he could hold her, just hold her and ensure
she was okay. Make her feel wanted and secure. That was what she really wanted.
Anything else was out of the question.

He’d stripped off his T-shirt without thinking and shed his
jeans with the same lack of thought. He slid in the tub, careful not to splash
too much but he’d filled it high for her and now the contents threatened to
surge over the side with his weight displacing them. Reaching for the plug, he
let out some water and aware of her regard, glanced up to see her watching him.
“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to eat me.” Ah shit, he could have bitten his
tongue out. The connotations of what he’d said made him flush hot and cold,
despite the water’s warmth.

“I do.” Using the hand on the side of the bath, Cyn pulled
herself over to his side. She swiveled around and he hastily replaced the plug before
she nestled against him. Opening his legs, he let her slide between them, her
back to his chest. He didn’t attempt to hide his erection. She must have seen
it as he climbed in. He was no saint. Just a man trying to do what was right.

“You feel good.” She said it with meaning, as if she hadn’t
given up.

“I’m happy to hold you,” he lied. Not convincingly,
considering his cock was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute.

She laughed, then stopped abruptly. Knowing the cause, he
made a soothing noise before following up his advantage. “See? You can’t even
laugh without hurting.”

She tilted her head to gaze at him. “Then don’t make me
laugh. Make me sigh. That doesn’t hurt.”

Sitting up, she kissed him. He could do nothing except cup
her cheek and return the kiss. Fighting her wasn’t working. He wanted her every
time he saw her and a primitive instinct deep inside, one he’d never given free
rein to before, urged him to take her, make her his. Concentrating on tasting
her, on relaxing her with his kiss, he tried to suppress the feelings so
unworthy of her but it didn’t work. It only got worse. She rubbed against him,
moving her back against his cock in a way guaranteed to drive him wild with
wanting her.

He tore his mouth away from hers. Panting, he watched her,
her bright eyes darkened with passion. “How can you want me when you’re in so
much pain?”

“The painkillers are working.” He doubted she was pain free.
“I feel much better for the bath, and the ice packs kept the swelling down.
Please, Riku. I’ll let you do all the work.”

“Too right you will.”

Bending to the inevitable, he flipped the tile at the side
of the bath aside and found the pack of condoms he kept in the compartment. He
heard her chuckle and turned back to her. “What?”

“I doubt they were for me.”

“No. Do you mind?”

“That you weren’t a saint in the years we spent apart? I saw
it for myself. I didn’t like it but I had no hold on you.”

He loved her honesty. He needed to tell her something but it
might stop her wanting him. Wait, that was a good thing, he told his wayward
cock. He wanted her to rest, didn’t he? Inwardly he groaned. “I did prefer them
in twos before you.” He left his hand loosely on her waist, waiting for her to
shake him off. “It was less intimate.”

“Playtime,” she murmured.

“Exactly. I wanted exercise and play, nothing else.”

She didn’t move. “And me…?”

“You’re more than play. You always were.”

“Anyone else?”

He hadn’t expected that question. He thought. “No. Not like
you.” Shit, she’d trapped him. He’d meant to use the two girls thing to
distance them. His last, pathetic try at putting her off the idea of sex
tonight. He tried again. “Do you want that?”

“What, to share you?” She stared at him in amazement. “No
fucking chance. How about you?”

“I don’t want to share you either.” Fuck. He didn’t, he wasn’t
saying that to mollify her. What was worse he didn’t want anyone else. Girls
always crowded around him. He put it down to a combination of his size and his
profession. Women tended to prefer their men big and rock music always
attracted the edgiest, most interesting women. As well as its share of bimbos
but the world needed them too. “Cyn, what are you doing to me?”

“The same thing you’re doing to me. You said let it ride. Is
that still on?”

They had to but Riku was finding it harder to remember their
different lifestyles and separate ambitions. Their previous affair had been hot
and heavy but when it came to the crunch she’d walked away, or rather, not come
to him. Not knowing the result of her final audition, he’d accepted what his
colleagues had told him—she’d left that last audition, quit and never came
back, leaving them to conclude she’d failed.

He’d made a place for her in his new life in Paris, waited
for her but instead she’d sent that fucking email followed by that fucking
letter. Chickened out, refused to come and tell him. He thought that then and
he’d had no reason to change his mind since he’d reconnected with her. She
wouldn’t follow through, even if he asked her.

The time they had now was all they had, all they’d ever
have. In a series of swift motions, he tore the wrapper open and sheathed
himself. “Come here.” He lifted her, careful to keep his hold away from her
bruises. She took a sharp breath but didn’t object.

He brought her on his stomach, freed a hand to hold his cock
steady and slid her down his wet front to impale her body on his.

“Oh, shit, that’s good,” she said.

Every time, she did it every fucking time, made him want her
more. Maybe that was all this was—the electric physical connection between
them.

Even as he thought it he knew he was wrong. They were lovers
and friends and maybe something else. He wouldn’t let her shy away this time.
He wanted to take this affair as far as they could, coax total honesty out of
her. If she didn’t want him he needed to hear her say it, and to understand
why.

Keeping one arm around her waist, he moved her slowly, using
his hips to angle his lower body so he could thrust inside her. “You’re letting
me do all the work, remember?”

“I remember.” He slid her slightly sideways so she could
turn her head without hurting herself. They kissed and he thrust his tongue
inside her mouth as he thrust inside her. He touched his lips to hers, opened
his eyes, saw her watching him. “Cyn, you’re the best.”

He couldn’t tell her any more. He needed to take care of her
and if he told her what he was feeling right now, she might walk away. Perverse
women had crossed his path before and once he’d realized, he’d told them he was
falling in love with them to make them leave. Cyn might do that, although he
didn’t know why she shied away from deeper intimacy. She’d had a stable
childhood but not a loving one from what he’d gathered. Maybe she didn’t know
how.

They had that in common but he’d learned to embrace his
emotions, not to be afraid of them. They made him a better musician.

An idea struck him the minute before he lost his mind in
her. Was she scared of her emotions or how the music made her feel?

But conscious, rational thought left him then as he kissed
down her neck and felt her stretch—only a little, because it would make her
sore. Her breathing came more evenly and she made a sound in her throat. He
kissed it, enjoying the vibration and gave her all he had, sinking inside her
balls-deep. Fathoms deep.

“Sweetheart, let me. Oh, fuck, I will never have a shower
again. Baths for me, every fucking time.” Being surrounded by the hot water and
bubbles, that were currently popping crisply against their bodies, the
sensation of taking this woman under the water, felt like nothing ever had
before.

The city frolicked, lights going on and off in the
buildings. He’d lain in this tub and enjoyed the view but never during sex. The
sight steamed his libido to breaking point. Life went on, others would be
fucking but not like this and not with this woman.

He spread his hand, touched her clit with the tip of his
forefinger. “My, what big hands you have,” she murmured, then moaned again. “That’s
good.”

Finding the hard tip of flesh peeking from between the
thick, soft folds of her labia, he pressed it then did it again. Venturing farther,
supporting her with his other hand, he pushed in, pinched.