BorntobeWild (3 page)

“It only occurred to me now. You only have one assistant and
you’re both, well, women.”

“We can take care of ourselves and we’re not stupid. And she’s
not an assistant, she’s the manager.”

He smiled back and lifted his hand to brush her hair away
from her cheek. A bright light flashed when someone took a picture. He ignored
it. “Sorry to go all sexist and macho on you.”

She found she liked it. It was a long time since someone
cared enough to check her safety. She wouldn’t tell him though. He was getting
too close too fast and she needed to keep some distance or she’d lose her mind.
“That’s okay.”

“Will you have dinner with me afterwards?”

“Isn’t it a bit early?”

He shook his head. “We eat early on concert nights. Will you
come backstage afterward?”

“Sure.” She’d be stupid to turn that experience down.

Another smile then a light kiss to her forehead. He grinned
at the woman standing wide-eyed, phone in hand, ready to take a photo. “We’re
old friends,” he said.

Yeah. Friends with benefits.

As if he’d heard her thoughts, he turned back to her,
concern in his dark eyes and shook his head slightly. “We still have a way to
go.”

What the fuck did
that
mean? They had
nowhere
to go. Couldn’t think about it, or it might lead to madness. She’d barely
recovered last time and the thought of doing it again made her shudder
inwardly.

Or perhaps outwardly as well, since he rubbed her bare lower
arm in a comforting gesture. “Should I go away?”

“Don’t you dare. We haven’t been this busy in weeks.”

He laughed and returned his attention to the customers.

The shop was getting uncomfortably full. She left the
counter and motioned to Maddy to go to the front. She remained close enough to
get to the cash register when a customer needed serving and left Riku to the
tender mercies of his fans.

After an hour she realized the crowd was pushier and concern
made her tense. People were buying random items, obviously to get Riku’s
signature. The extra customers would compensate for the stones he’d ruined when
he crashed into her. She’d just collected them from the polisher’s too. Not
that she’d tell him, or he’d offer to buy them.

She hadn’t realized how fast time had flown until the guy in
the crash hat stood before her. Grimacing, she rushed to the register to
collect the money she’d already prepared for him. A grinning Riku handed her
more. “Maddy left it open for me.” He nodded at the drawer. “I guessed you’d
need the time.”

Maddy shouldn’t have done that. Normally she wouldn’t do
that for anyone.

Her gaze shot to the register in alarm. It always worried
her, to deal in so much cash. But in her business, where customers often made
small purchases, it was inevitable and so close to the Empire State Building,
they also attracted a lot of tourist trade.

All that raced through her head while she counted the extra
bags and plastic baggies holding the money. Dizzy, she handed them to the cash
guy. This was the first time she’d done this without closing the store or taking
the man into the back room. She asked for the same people, knowing personal
recognition was safer than any password or plastic.

“Busy today.” He glanced around. He gave Riku a
dispassionate stare, taking in his bizarre hairstyle but it became clear he
didn’t know him. Probably thought he was an average everyday weirdo.

“Family good, Ray?” She needed to get this day back to
something resembling normal before she set out for the concert, where she was
sure the madness would only start again.

“Sure. Great. Lucy’s starting her sophomore year. Doing well
too.” The proud father beamed. “She’s a bright kid.”

They exchanged desultory conversation like this every day
and slowly normality crept through Cyn’s body, grounding her as she so badly
needed. Having a rock star in her store, having a rock star she’d just fucked
in her store, that rock star being Riku, for God’s sake, gave her conniptions.

Her brain refused to unscramble but she held on to her
sanity—barely. He’d always driven her insane with his presence. Ray took the
cash and left, having given her the receipts. She’d always taken such care that
time of the day but today—he could have snatched her takings and disappeared
into the ether, for all the attention she gave him.

She surrendered. She sent Maddy an apologetic grin. “I’ll go
change. Then we’ll head out.”

“With this bunch still waiting to be served?” Maddy waved,
nearly knocking some tiger’s-eye beads from a woman’s hands. She had to
apologize but Cyn understood her point. They could stay open for hours and the
crowd wouldn’t diminish. Sadly they had to close tonight, or they’d never make
the Garden. Oh shit, she was
really
not thinking straight.

Riku bent close so only she could hear him. “I’ll get lost,
go into the back room. Tell them I’ve gone.”

“Bless you,” she murmured.

Half an hour later she and Maddy had cleared the store and
finally locked up. The cash register still held a worryingly large amount of
money. So she cleared it of all but the float, noted the amount and took it
into the back room to put in the safe. The notice on the door informed the
would-be thief that they kept no cash on the premises, although that wasn’t
strictly true but it had worked so far.

She hadn’t realized she was speaking aloud until his amused
voice broke into her thoughts. “I won’t tell anybody.” He settled his hands on
her waist. “Can we leave now?”

“Sure.” Their connection snapped into place and with a groan
he bent and took a kiss from her. He didn’t have to fight to get it. He slipped
his tongue into her mouth and she sucked gently, his light “Mmm,” registering
deep inside her. And she was back, in their world, ready to do anything for
him, with him.

Insanity. However much she told herself, the craving
continued. Anger at her own helplessness warred with the need that rose inside
her every time he looked at her, touched her. He broke the kiss. “Why did we
ever split? Remind me again.” His breath felt ragged against her lips. Hers
matched it.

“Nothing’s changed. We’re still in different places, Riku.
We can’t forget that.”

He smiled, disturbingly hot. “We’ll see.”

She liked the way he said it but she couldn’t afford to get
carried away, to believe they had more than before. That physical attraction,
irresistible but it wouldn’t last. How could anything that intense survive?
They couldn’t build a relationship on hot sex any more than they had before.

“I planned to go home early and shower but I don’t have
time. Do I look okay?”

He glanced at her floaty, hippy-dippy blue top and skirt and
flipped her hair, which she wore loose and straight today. “Gorgeous. Do you
have seats?”

She shook her head. “Standing.”

“Shit. I don’t want to think of you in the mosh pit.”

“I’ve done it before.” She shrugged. “I’ll be fine.”

“I can offer you a shower. We’re checked in at the Sunday Hotel
by the park.”

“You sold your apartment?” She shouldn’t be surprised—he
hadn’t lived in New York for years but it hurt to think of the tiny room in
someone else’s possession.

“I bought another but it’s in Tribeca.” He stared at her,
his expression softening. “The truth is I daren’t take you there yet, even
though the cleaning crew’ll be done by now. I want you too much. But I’d like
you to come back with me after the concert.”

She turned away, her heart contracting. “Not a quickie,
then?” At least she’d tried for lightness.

“Not unless you’re happy with it. I want more.”

“You always did.”

Before he could respond she grabbed her big shoulder bag
from her locked drawer in the desk and took out the smaller cross-body pouch
inside, all she’d need tonight. She’d already packed it with her ticket,
lipstick and enough cash to get home, plus one credit card for emergencies. And
her apartment keys. If she left now she could make it home, change and get back
just in time but then she’d miss dinner with Riku and she wanted that.

She shoved the big bag in the drawer and relocked it,
posting the key in the pouch. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“We’ll eat at the hotel. Or do you want somewhere fancy?”

“The Sunday isn’t fancy?” The hotel facing Central Park was
a five-star dream. Not that she’d ever been inside.

Riku dragged his hat from his pocket and pulled it on,
tucking his hair underneath. He still looked like Riku but dressed in a grungy
T-shirt, unremarkable denim jacket and jeans, he could probably get away with
wandering the streets.

“So that’s why you do it.”

“What?”

“All the clothes onstage.”

Riku laughed. “Clever girl. But not entirely. I just enjoy
it, is all. Most of the band except Zazz dress for comfort. Jace uses his body
art to make a point.”

“That’s part of your appeal. You are yourselves.”

“We’re Murder City Ravens.”

The heart of what he was now. She forced a smile and opened
the door, casting him a flirtatious glance over her shoulder.

They caught a taxi to the hotel and Cyn insisted on Maddy
coming with them. Why shouldn’t she enjoy the treat too?

When they arrived Riku led them to the elevator to one side
of the large bank. Cyn watched Maddy and tried to see the experience through
her eyes as they stepped into the car and rode to the penthouse floor.

She knew what to expect but not on this scale. Bands hired
whole floors of hotels for security, engineers, sound people and other staff
crashed there as well as the band and management. The press liked to think it
was hard living but more often than not, especially at this end of a tour,
exhaustion rode them. At this time, before a gig, the opposite held sway, with
people hustling around, conversations going on through and over. But she didn’t
hear singers gargling, coughing, choking, hawking and spitting. That must be
specific to the opera circuit. Musicians tended to behave in similar fashion,
whether they practiced opera, jazz, pop or in this case, rock.

A powerful odor of coffee hit her senses, making her mouth
water and her stomach rumble. Riku glanced at her, grinning. “We can go into my
room if you want.”

“Are you kidding?” Maddy clapped her hand to her mouth, her
long, elaborately manicured nails gleaming in the light, the little brilliants
flashing when she moved. “Hey, I’m sorry. Whatever you need.”

“I need to eat something and then change. I promised you
dinner, though. We can order room service here or I’ll take you to the
restaurant.”

Cyn had seen Riku onstage. It had to take him some time to
dress. “How long will it take you to get ready?”

He grimaced. “I’ll do it at the Garden.”

“But it won’t be the full thing, will it?”

Someone jostled her as he pushed past. She’d have ignored it
but Riku growled a warning. The man turned around, uttered a hasty, “Sorry,”
and moved on.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Do what you have to,” she said. “We’ll eat here.”

Maddy beamed, her narrow face lighting with pleasurable
anticipation and she flicked back a lock of her dead-straight blonde hair. “Room
service sounds fine to me.”

Riku took them through to a large area, which might have
been part of the penthouse suite but bore little relation to the pictures on
the hotel website.

The Sunday was one of the finest hotels in New York, so sure
she’d looked. The space appeared positively cramped because of the number of
people crammed into it. A long table at one end was set not just with buffet
food but great buffet food. Open sandwiches, wraps, freshly made and on real
china plates. Delicate hors d’oeuvres vied with bowls of various salads and
stacks of meats.

Riku sighed. “Sandwiches again.” He glanced around. “Oh
shit, that makes me sound spoiled.”

“You are spoiled,” she reminded him. “You’re a rock star.”

“A rock
musician
.” His tone suggested he’d corrected
many people many times before. “Would you prefer a proper meal?”

As he spoke a large man was barreling over to them. Although
he wore clothes fashioned for a big man they hung on his powerful shoulders as
if he’d lost weight, or he dressed for comfort. His belt showed a well-worn
notch, several spaces up from the one he currently used. He had a thick beard
and his hair curled in an unkempt style.

“Hi.” He eyed Cyn and Maddy curiously. “You’re late. You
going on in jeans tonight?”

“Not fucking likely. Hey, this is Cyn and her friend Maddy.
I bumped into her this afternoon.” He glanced at Cyn, humor lighting his eyes. “Literally.
We used to—we went to the institute together.” She watched him, wondered why he
didn’t admit they’d been far more to each other than that and hurt laced
through her. Wasn’t she good enough to introduce properly?
Stupid
,her
brain told her but the instinct she’d grown up with, that she never truly
belonged, kicked in to override common sense.

“I don’t need anybody to tell me who you are.” She shook
free from Riku and faced the man standing before her. “Chick Fontaine, right?”

“Yeah.” He wrung her hand and then Maddy’s. Maddy stared up
at him in awe. Cyn felt a bit awe-ful herself. This man made and broke careers.
Mostly made them. He’d taken Murder City Ravens from a rock band on the point
of total self-destruction to the powerhouse it was today, famous the world
over, a best-seller of the year. Smashed through every objective. If she’d had
this man in her corner would she have given up her career so quickly?

Probably.

“Nice to meet you.”

“So you sing too?”

She almost laughed at the wary expression in his eyes. No
doubt people approached him all the time in the hope he’d take on their
careers. “Not professionally. I run three jewelry and craft stores now.”

“She
owns
the businesses,” Riku said. “I’m definitely
visiting her uptown store tomorrow. Cool jewelry.”

She hadn’t recalled him taking particular notice of her
designs that afternoon. He’d been too busy signing and chatting. “He came in to
see me and got recognized.” Chick would probably want to know, because he had a
hand in the promotion side too. “Did some signing but refused to do it without
a purchase.”

Chick raised a black brow. “Nice. So you did well?”

“Let’s just say he owes me nothing.”

“You’re English, aren’t you? Have you lived in New York
long?”

She nodded. “Since my father died.” She glanced at Riku. “Sorry,
I didn’t tell you. He died just after I left the institute. Cancer. It was
quick. “

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Riku had never met her parents but his
face reflected the horror she’d experienced at the time. Sometimes she still
felt it when she woke in the middle of the night from a bad dream.

Chick’s perceptive gaze went from Riku to Cyn and back. She
noticed. Riku didn’t. Chick knew now they had history. “Sorry to hear it,” he
said.

“So was I. Thanks.” She dismissed the tragedy as she always
did, with a brusque casting aside. She didn’t care if it made her appear
heartless. Nobody deserved to know how badly she’d fallen apart. Nobody. She’d
come around and made something of her life and that was the important thing.

The pang that shot through her was a physical pain that
lacerated her stomach and her nerves. It remained as an echo to remind her of
that time but she was used to it and she could ignore it without too much
discomfort. She didn’t look at Riku, afraid he might notice. If anybody would,
he would.

“So,” she said brightly. “Can we eat? I’m starving.”

Chick took her to the buffet table, either because he was
perceptive enough to spot her edginess or he wanted to discover more about her.
She guessed she needed to persuade him she wasn’t a hanger-on and she did her
best.

Riku entertained Maddy until she got into conversation with
another man standing at the table and Riku could join them. By then she’d
recovered from her pain and had a plate full of good food that she was finally
enjoying. Chick proved a great conversationalist and took her to a small chair-and-table
grouping that magically emptied when he glared at the occupants.

“Do you want to meet the others?” Riku meant the other
members of the band, she presumed.

She shook her head. “I’m scared I’ll go all fangirl squee on
them. Give me a moment.”

Chick laughed. “Good move. They really hate that.”

She saw Zazz the singer and guitarist. Every member of the
band played several instruments. For instance Hunter wasn’t only a drummer, he
was a percussionist, mastering a variety of instruments. She recognized his
girlfriend Sabina by the headphones she wore, heavy, padded affairs. Sabina had
famously undergone a pioneering operation to restore her hearing and wore the
phones when sound was high. The size, she’d said in an interview, was a bit
like a blind person’s white stick—it informed people she was having trouble
with her hearing. That had been some time ago and Cyn wondered if Sabina used
them because she could and it gave her a bit of privacy in this bustling place.

Sabina glanced up, caught Cyn’s expression and smiled,
giving her a nod before returning to her boyfriend, big blond Hunter. The
others sat with their partners but they seemed distracted, half there. Cyn
understood that feeling. Minds on the performance ahead, not knowing whether to
work on it more or leave it in the laps of the gods. Some of the best things in
music came from the unexpected, the improvised or the accidental serendipitous moment.

They ate, they chatted and apart from the tension of the
upcoming gig Cyn sensed optimism and excitement. Just as it should be.

Nevertheless, a sense of discomfort invaded her, creeping
along her limbs to her heart. She didn’t belong here. Nobody knew her. Nobody
came across to talk to her and after a short interval getting used to the
atmosphere, the isolation came through. Luckily Maddy didn’t seem to notice a
thing.

“I’d love some coffee. Would you like anything?” she asked,
in an effort to get away.

Riku’s expression warmed as he watched her, giving her
strength. No way would she let him know anything was wrong. “I’m good,” he
murmured and she got to her feet, heading for the big table where carafes were
set on small heating rings. Only one other person stood there, a woman she didn’t
recognize.

As Cyn turned to lift the jug, the woman moved to do the
same and their hands touched. No static electricity this time. Cyn withdrew and
gave an apologetic smile. So did the woman. Dark haired and pretty, Cyn noted.

“Sorry. After you,” the woman said.

“I can pour for both of us.”

“Thanks. Hey you’re British.” She held out her hand. “I’m
Laura Asano. I mean—” she stared at Cyn, horror etched on her face. “Can you
forget I said that?”

It didn’t take much of a stretch of her knowledge to recall
that Zazz’s real name was James Asano. In England he’d had a blowup with the
press and they’d carried it over here, too, when they discovered his father was
the hard-living jazz musician of the same name. So where did Laura fit in? Wife
or sister?

She took Laura’s hand and shook it. “Congratulations.”

Laura swallowed and glanced around. “Shit. Listen, I know
you people get some extra dosh selling stories but we didn’t want to say
anything until after the tour. Can you wait a few nights? If you do I’ll give
you an exclusive or something.”

The disjointed speech informed Cyn she hadn’t discovered
Zazz’s secret sister. “So you married him, yes?”

A brief nod.

Something else struck her. “You people?” she repeated. Then,
like mist lifting over the Highlands, she saw the landscape. “You think I’m—and
that Maddy—ah.” She had nothing against groupies, just that she wasn’t one.

“No offence,” Laura said hastily.

About to disabuse her Cyn decided otherwise. “No, I bet
there were more than—us before the rest of the band got regular
partners…anyway. Does Riku do this often? Bring two women in, I mean?”

“Yes, he likes them in bulk.” Laura clapped her hand to her
mouth. “Sorry, sorry. I’m just not used to this way of life. Until recently I
was a social worker in Manchester.”

Cyn smiled. “My life’s never been ordinary. I used to long
for it.” Riku’s habits interested her more than somewhat. She glanced in his
direction and saw him on his feet, coming toward them. When he reached her he
hesitated, as if wondering if he wanted to claim her. It could be her
imagination but she didn’t think so.

Cyn, already uneasy from the two-at-a-time revelation, saw
red. “You need two women these days?”

Riku responded instantly with a slow smile. “Does it turn
you on?”

“What do you think? Does it?”

His mouth quirked before he controlled his involuntary
response. Oh, funny, was it? “I think no. It never did before. But try it, you
might like it.”

Laura tried to move away but Cyn picked up her coffee. “Here,
you forgot this.” The other woman hesitated, then put her hand out for the mug.

“Thanks. Sorry. I don’t know what’s got into me lately. You’d
think I’d have some tact.” She glanced at Riku, sighed. “I introduced myself as
Laura Asano.”

Riku’s smile broadened. “You’re just thrilled. We’re all
thrilled for you.” He smiled at Cyn and with an effort she returned it.

She should leave, go to her seat, behave herself. She’d been
looking forward to this concert for the last six months. Even if she hadn’t
planned to introduce herself to Riku she’d still anticipated the band’s
performance with a happy glow. Murder City Ravens’ music excited her.

So did their Japanese American member. She could admit it
now, even if she’d tried to tamp down the growing memories that haunted her
nights.

Then Riku took the wind completely out of her sails. Leaning
close, so nobody else heard, except perhaps Laura, he murmured, “None of them
were you.”

Cyn swallowed, wanting to take the comment as flippant.
Knowing she couldn’t because she wanted him to mean it. Yearned for it. But he
didn’t, he couldn’t. In a week or two he’d move on. They’d give a casual
farewell and get on with their lives like proper adults. This pull to him, this
sense that she’d found her right berth again, it was so
wrong
. Riku wasn’t
a berth. He was a full-blown storm at sea. So she forced a sassy smile and
discovered a response. “I’m one in a million. I thought you knew that?”

“I do.” Only his reply wasn’t in the least sassy.

Laura still hadn’t left. Riku slid his arm around Cyn’s
waist, finally laying claim to what she’d given him earlier. “We’re old
friends.”

Laura’s eyes widened. She had lovely eyes, deep blue and
guileless. Must have helped in her job, made the people she worked with believe
in that innocence. If she knew Zazz, if she’d married him, there had to be more
to her than sweet purity. She was assessing her and Cyn didn’t like it. “So he
went to Europe to forget you?”