Borrowed Cowboy (Shadow Maverick Ranch) (4 page)

Chapter Six

“What’s your deal today?” Clay complained and stood, arching his back into a stretch.

Pax glanced up. “What’s that supposed to mean?” His gloved hands worked on autopilot as he spliced a new piece of barbed wire into yet another broken section of fence.

“I don’t know. You’re a little testy. More than usual, I mean.” Clay jerked off his gloves and flipped open the cooler that sat in the bed of his truck. He twisted the cap off and drained half a bottle of water in one swallow.

“Could be that it’s a hundred and five degrees, and I’m stuck out here fixin’ goddamned fences with your sorry ass.”

Clay’s brows shot up. “Somewhere you’d rather be?”

Only one place he could think of. Hence his testiness.

It’d been a solid week since he and Reese were together, and Pax hadn’t stopped thinking about her.

She’d stayed with him until almost eleven. He’d actually enjoyed the quiet intimacy of sharing a pizza with her and then later, much later, helping her back into her clothes. He’d held her hand. Walked her to her car. He’d kissed her, mumbled something about how great it’d been to see her, then he’d kissed her again. And again. He hadn’t been able to get enough of her mouth and had been loath to let her go.

She’d been so responsive, so willing to give him whatever he wanted. It had been one of the greatest nights of his life. For the first time in months, he wished things were different. That he could erase the last few years and build something new.

Which was why he’d put her in her car, and watched as the taillights disappeared down the drive.

He hadn’t asked for her number. She hadn’t offered.

Borrowed.

That’s what she’d called him. Implying she’d gotten something from him that he’d eventually get back.

Had she? Would he?

His time, he didn’t give a fuck about. She’d needed him, he’d been there. Time well spent. He’d do it again too, if she asked. He’d known it the second she’d fallen through the bathroom door and into his arms.

But the ever-increasing ache in his chest … now
that
gave him pause. His heart wasn’t available to borrow
,
damn it. Because if it were, with Reese, he was afraid he’d not want it back. He’d want her to keep it. Always.

The word
glutton
sprang to mind. Christ, he cared about Reese, but he couldn’t—wouldn’t—go down that path again. No fucking way.

A frustrated growl escaped his throat. “You done for the day? ’Cause last time I looked, this fence isn’t gonna fix itself.”

Clay
pffed
, pulled his gloves on, and went back to work. On a normal day, Pax enjoyed working alongside his brother. They’d worked together their whole lives, making words almost unnecessary when it came to getting shit done. They worked with a quiet efficiency that only came from experience and a sense of partnership.

“You’ll never guess who I saw at Slick’s last Saturday night.”

Not today, however. Today, it seemed Clay was more interested in running his mouth.

Pax had sweat running into the crack of his ass, and he hadn’t had a decent night’s sleep in a week. A flame-haired beauty had plagued his dreams, causing him to wake at all hours with the hard-on from hell. He needed a shower. Wanted a drink. He wasn’t in the mood for guessing games.

“The Pope?” He picked up the stretcher and with a few practiced movements, finished the repair.

“Aren’t you the smart ass. No, funny guy. Reese Jameson.”

He hesitated, his heart tripping over itself. “That right?”

“You don’t seem all that surprised.”

Pax shrugged and moved to the cooler to grab a bottle of water. His ball cap was soaked with sweat, as was the rest of him. He pulled it off and smoothed his hair back. Fuck, it was hot. His shoulders ached and he decided he’d had enough for the day. He dropped the tailgate on Clay’s truck and rested his ass on the edge.

“Why would I be? She lives this side of Houston. Makes sense she’d be around.”

“Yeah, well, she hasn’t been around in years, as far as I know.”

“You keep tabs on all my old friends?”

Clay gave him a wolfish grin. “Only the pretty ones. And damn if she hasn’t gotten prettier since high school.”

She wasn’t just pretty. She was fucking gorgeous. “Yep,” was all he said as he finished his water and got to his feet. He’d ridden his horse out here after checking cattle and it was a long ride back. He wanted to get started.

“Wait, you’ve seen her?” Clay asked.

Every fucking inch of her. “She’s helping Lauren with the wedding.”

“Oh. Damn. Small world, huh?” Clay rolled up the spool of wire as though he sensed Pax was done. “I’ll tell you man, that girl is like walking sunshine. All smiles and laughter.”

Pax entertained the thought that he’d had something to do with her happiness that night, since she’d been with him the night before. She’d certainly been the cause of the satisfied grin he’d worn all day Saturday.

“She was with some guy,” Clay continued. “Corporate type. Khakis and shiny shoes. Reminded me of Gavin.” Clay tossed him a wink, but Pax lost any semblance of playfulness at the ‘some guy’ part.

His gut tightened. So less than twenty-four hours after he’d come inside her, she’d been out with another man. It shouldn’t bother him. Hadn’t he been the one to set the rules for their night together? He had no right to judge what, or who, she did. But, damn, it stung.

“You guys were tight once.” Clay said as though he needed a reminder.

Pax thought about how to respond. “We were friends, yes,” he said slowly. “Lost touch after awhile.”

After the night that had changed the course of their lives.

“Guess she’ll be around a bit, with the wedding being months away, huh? Wonder if she’d need me to do a private fitting for my tux.” Clay waggled his eyebrows. “I could get into that.”

Pax drilled Clay with a stare. His brother was a known horndog, and, while Pax didn’t have a say in who Reese went out with, he damn sure had a right where Clay was concerned. “Don’t even think about it. Reese is off limits to you.”

“Says who?”

“Just leave her alone, Clay.” Pax shook his head to indicate he was done with this conversation.

Clay tossed the spool of wire in the bed of the truck and turned to face him, arms crossed, smirk firmly in place. “You can’t be serious. You think I’m not good enough for her?”

“That’s not what I said. Reese isn’t the kind of woman you just fuck and forget.” He should know. “She deserves a man who’ll give her more than that.” A warning for himself as much as for Clay.

“A man like you?” Clay spoke without malice, and with only a slight twinge of curiosity and a heavy dose of knowledge.

Sometimes Pax hated that his brother could read him so well. They were the only two of the six Mathis siblings who weren’t twins. Stuck in the middle with only a few years separating them, he and Clay had developed a special bond. The un-twins as they’d once called themselves.

Regardless of his desire not to share, he owed Clay an explanation.

“I had sex with her,” he said finally, hoping Clay wouldn’t push. “She was here last Friday and one thing led to another and…” The rest was between him and Reese.

Clay’s smirk disappeared. “And that makes it okay, how?” Again, no malice. Concern, maybe, for him or for Reese, Pax didn’t know. “You just said she deserved more than that. You tellin’ me you’re prepared to be that guy? Not that I wouldn’t be happy to see you live again. But if you’re not ready to let go of the past, then maybe you need to leave her alone as well.”

Ouch.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’m fine. I’ve moved on from all that bullshit.”

“Really? ’Cause from where I stand, it sure doesn’t look like it.” Clay studied him. “Tell me something. You been in the barn lately?”

Pax jutted his chin to where his horse grazed. “Where do you think I got Midas?” Not a lie, just not the barn he knew Clay was referring to.

Clay rolled his eyes, a clear indication he hadn’t appreciated Pax’s answer. “My point, exactly. You should take your own advice before someone gets hurt.”

“You should mind your own business.”

Clay didn’t budge. “You’re probably right, but that doesn’t mean I’m gonna. Not while you’ve got your head up your ass. You and Reese have history. You obviously like her enough to sleep with her. Why not be that guy? What’s stopping you?”

Pax stared at his younger brother. He appreciated that Clay cared about him, but it annoyed him all the same that Clay wouldn’t let it drop. “Nothing’s stopping me. I don’t want a relationship. End of story.”

“Why not?”

“Jesus, what’re you? My shrink?” Pax’s temper flared. “My wife cheated. Repeatedly fucked other men while sharing my bed.” A familiar disgust threatened to gag him. “You tell me why I don’t want to get into that shit again.”

“Reese isn’t Tammy,” Clay threw back at him.

“You don’t know that,” he barked, the words flowing out before he could stop them. “You said it yourself—she was with some guy the night after she was with me.” Pax regretted the words the second they’d left his mouth. Whether he saw her again or not, she deserved better than his ugly insinuations.

“You do know. I can see it in your eyes. God, Pax. Aren’t you tired of holding on to a past that doesn’t want you anymore?”

Clay scrubbed a hand over his face. “I’m sorry for what Tammy did. Jesus fuck, man. I’m so sorry about what you went through, but haven’t you let her take enough from you? Let that bitch have the years she stole. They’re over. You don’t need them anymore. Let those years go, Pax. Don’t give Tammy another second of your life. She’s not worth it.”

He stood, shell-shocked by the sadness in Clay’s voice. He hadn’t thought about it like that. Hadn’t thought beyond the pain of being betrayed. He’d been so wrapped up in his own anger and resentment, he’d never considered how his hurt had effected his family.

Pax hooked his fingers and let out a shrill whistle. Midas glanced up, ears perked. Pax whistled again and the sleek, chestnut stallion trotted his way.

He turned back to Clay. “Look, I appreciate everything you’ve said. And you’re not wrong.”

“Of course I’m not.” The smirk was back. “You deserve to be happy, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t cheat yourself out of an opportunity, you know, if one happens to present itself.”

Pax nodded, the only affirmation he was able to give. He needed to think and was glad for the ride ahead.

Clay didn’t understand. God willing, Clay would never be in the position to understand. But the fact Clay loved him enough to shoot straight had Pax biting back eye-stinging emotion.

He’d never been more grateful to have his family than he was this moment. It was high time he stopped giving them reason to worry. It was high time for a lot of things.

Midas nudged his shoulder. Pax rubbed his muzzle. “What do you say we get out of here, huh?” he said to the horse. To Clay, he said, “You comin’ back to the house?”

“Nope. Gonna hit the shower and head out. We’ve had enough girl talk for one day, don’t you think? Besides, unlike some of us, I’ve got a date.”

Pax mounted up. He tugged the reins to turn Midas around. “Catch you later, then. Have fun.”

As he headed home, Clay’s words played over and over in his head. A past that didn’t want him anymore. Pax made it all the way to the barn before he realized the feeling was mutual.

Chapter Seven

Pax walked into the house, dog-tired and ready for a shower.

After he’d left Midas and jumped in his truck for the half-hour drive back to the house, he’d decided to ask Lauren for Reese’s phone number. He wasn’t ready to analyze the why of it. He wanted to hear her voice. Wanted to. Not needed to.

The sounds of feminine laughter rang out. He followed the noise toward the kitchen.

And Jared had wondered why he didn’t stay at his own house.

This was the reason.

Here, he was surrounded by people he loved and who loved him back. People who’d kept him grounded. Here, was laughter and—he inhaled, a smile on his face—homemade cookies.

His house—no way he’d call it a home—consisted of walls and a roof. A container holding memories turned toxic over time. His ex-wife’s infidelity had poisoned any happy memories he might’ve had. Memories that had threatened to suck him into a bottle of booze. Then another. And another. Until there was nothing left to remember. Or feel.

The way Tammy had flirted to get his attention. At first, he’d found her cute and fun. Later, he’d realized she’d flirted too hard, had been too focused, as though she’d targeted him.

The way she’d smiled on their wedding day, as though he was her knight-in-shining-armor. Her knight with a bank account, more like it.

Staying in the bunkhouse, being close to his family, had kept him sane, connected. They’d surrounded him, kept him busy, refused to allow him to be swallowed up by anger and grief.

There was no withdrawing within the Mathis clan. Even Gavin had called him from London every goddamned day to make sure he was doing okay. Pax was grateful, now that his anger had dissipated, but at the time those calls had pissed him off.

Gavin had meant well, just as Clay had today. Couldn’t really fault them. Pax would do the same, if the situation were reversed. Family first. Always.

Clay’d been right about one thing, he
was
tired. His energy to stay angry had been expended.

“What’s going on in here?” Pax asked as he entered the kitchen, although it was obvious based on the bowls piled in the sink and the cooling cookies that seemed to cover every available surface.

Erin pulled a baking sheet from the oven and his mouth watered. Chocolate chip, his favorite.

“Cookies!” Amber squealed and scampered toward him, arms outstretched.

Lauren was parked on a stool at the island and sitting next to her … it looked as if he wouldn’t need to ask Lauren for Reese’s number after all.

Reese turned on her stool and Pax almost missed a step as her gaze went liquid, crystal blue glittering as bright as the lazy smile she wore.

Damn, she looked good. Hair pulled back. Black, sleeveless top that hugged her breasts. Denim shorts that showed a delicious amount of her crossed legs. Sexy gold sandals with straps that wound around her ankles. He didn’t miss an inch as he took her in from her head to her sinfully red-painted toenails.

Tearing his gaze away, he scooped up his two-year-old niece before she head-butted his kneecaps. “Cookies?” He pulled back and gave Amber a suspicious look as she squirmed in his arms. “Do we have a cookie thief around here? What happened to all the cookies we had last week?” He slid a glance to Reese. Her eyelids fluttered shut, a pretty flush darkened her cheeks.

Tiny palms flattened against his cheeks, drawing his attention back to Amber’s grave expression. “All gone,” she informed him.

Pax did his best to keep a straight face. “Then it’s a good thing you’re making more.” He kissed her cheek, then blew a raspberry on her neck, causing her to kick and cackle with glee. “Okay munchkin, now that you’re all covered in sweat and dirt, go sneak me one of those yummy cookies before your momma kicks me to the shower.” A quick kiss to her forehead, and he set the giggling child back on her feet.

“Dang it, Pax. I should’ve kicked you to the shower
before
you picked up my child.” Erin scolded in a playful tone that lightened her words.

“Quit complaining. We both know you’ll toss her in the tub before bedtime anyway.” He moved to the sink to wash his hands. He smiled at Lauren. “Being a rancher’s daughter and now a rancher’s wife, you’d think my sister would be more tolerant to dirt.”

“Pax, you know Reese Jameson, don’t you?” Lauren asked as she pulled Amber onto her lap. “Gavin said the two of you went to high school together.”

Pax decided to have a little fun. “Sure, I remember Reese.” He extended a clean, dry hand across the counter that separated them. “Paxton Mathis. You remember me, don’t you?”

She slid her hand in his. So soft and warm. He’d thought about touching her all damned week, so he took advantage of the opportunity to do it now. His fingers wandered, his thumb brushing the back of her hand, his index finger grazing over her wrist to feel her pulse jump with the intimate caress.

She didn’t seem to mind, and she returned his caresses with an arched brow. Oh, he liked a woman with sass. Good to know Reese’s was still intact.

“Hmm. Your face is familiar. Paxton, huh? Did we have any classes together?”

He barked a laugh, deep and sudden. It felt so good, he held onto the smile that followed. Just like that, his mood lightened, and the feeling of exhaustion that had plagued him since he’d left Midas at the barn washed clean away.

“Okay,” Lauren said, eying them. “What’d I miss?”

Reese dropped his hand. To stop himself from reaching for her again, he snatched a cookie instead. He threw Amber a wink, who giggled when he shoved the whole thing in his mouth.

“We ran into each other last week when Reese was here,” Pax said around the food in his mouth, again delighting his niece. He swallowed. “Didn’t we, Reese?”

Reese nodded. “We did. It’d been a long time since we’d seen each other though.”

“How is it that I’ve never met you?” Erin asked.

“Gavin hadn’t either,” Lauren added. “He said he’d heard Pax talk about you, though.”

Reese’s head tilted to the side, a curious gesture that exposed her neck, and threatened to make him hard. “You talked about me?”

Shit.

“Easy, ladies,” Pax raised his palms in defense against the three sets of eyes pinned on him. “Erin, you and Gav were out of high school by the time Reese and I started hanging out. You didn’t know most of my friends.”

Erin’s brow creased as she propped a hip against the counter. “That’s true, I suppose.” She curled her fist and chucked him on the arm. “Then again, you and Patrick spent so much time together, I guess I didn’t realize you had other friends.”

Reese tensed. A slight tightening of her muscles he’d bet no one but him noticed. He hated that she’d blamed herself all these years. Hated even more his part in why she felt that way.

“Who’s Patrick?” Lauren asked. “I haven’t met him, have I?”

“No, he was killed in a riding accident.” Damn, he and Reese had talked about this. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again, but she needed to understand he didn’t blame her, or himself.

Lauren’s hand pressed against her chest. “Oh, no. I’m sorry.”

Amber, sensing a serious adult conversation, wiggled from Lauren’s lap and scampered over to the pint-sized play kitchen Erin must have brought with them.

Careful to keep his expression passive, he moved around the island and placed a gentle hand against the curve of Reese’s back. He liked that she didn’t jerk away, but instead, arched against his touch. A subtle move, meant only for him.

Pax acknowledged Lauren’s sentiment with a quick nod. “It was a long time ago.” Warm affection filled his chest as he thought about his friend. “I’ve never seen a man more comfortable on a horse than he was on his own feet. That was Pat. We used to joke his butt came out of the womb saddle-shaped. Nothin’ he loved more than the freedom of being on horseback with room to ride.”

He slipped his fingers under the hem of Reese’s shirt, using his body to shield the movement from wandering eyes.

Reese tilted her head, looked up at him. “He would’ve ridden to school too, had they let him.”

Atta girl. Stay with me. Remember the good times.

He grinned down at her, trailing his thumb across her silken skin. “You know he would have.”

He wanted to kiss her. Jerk her head back and crush his mouth to hers. Slowly peel her clothes from her body. Feel every inch of her against him, all warm and soft. There were so many things he wanted to do to her. With her.

Things he couldn’t do with an audience.

Lauren cleared her throat and slapped her hands against her thighs. “Hey, Gavin and I are going to Slick’s for a drink and some greasy bar food. I’ve managed to talk Jade into babysitting so Erin and Trevor can come too. How about you, Pax? You up for some family fun?”

“You got Jade to babysit on a Friday night?” Pax shook his head and stepped away from Reese before he embarrassed both of them.

“Don’t get excited,” Erin told him. “Amber is staying here tonight, so don’t be alarmed when she jumps on you at three in the morning and wants breakfast.” Her gaze darted to Amber and back, her voice barely above a whisper. “Don’t spoil this for me. I’m paying good money for a night alone with my husband.”

“I’m getting paid?” He dodged the towel Erin snapped his way. “I’m in for a couple of beers. As for the other…” Pax stopped to ruffle Amber’s ebony curls. “Uncle Jared makes a much better trampoline than Uncle Pax, right squirt? We’ll be fine here all night, won’t we?”

“Cookie!” Clearly, Amber had inherited his sweet tooth.

He handed her a cookie and looked up to find Reese watching him, a strange glimmer in her eye.

“What about you, Reese? Want to join us?” He remembered what Clay had told him about seeing her with someone and a knot formed in his throat that he cleared away. “If you don’t have other plans, that is.”

Her gaze darted between him, Erin, and finally, Lauren, as though his invitation made her uncomfortable.

“We’d love to have you join us, Reese,” Lauren assured her. “No wedding talk, though. I won’t have you working while the rest of us are having fun.”

“You should come, Reese,” Erin chimed in. “You can tell us all the dirt you have on Pax.”

“Oh no, you don’t,” he warned Reese with a mock glare. “No telling secrets, you hear me?”

Reese’s husky laugh went straight to his groin. “Sounds like a challenge. In that case, I’d love to come.” She batted her eyelashes at him.

Sexy little firecracker.

Two can play that game.

He leaned down and put his mouth against her ear. “Oh, you’ll come all right. I’ll make sure of it,” he whispered. He gave her a loud, friendly kiss on her cheek, unconcerned about what Erin and Lauren would make of the gesture.

He straightened to find two sets of delicate brows raised, the question in Lauren’s expression as clear as the shock he saw in Erin’s.

Let them wonder. This thing, whatever it was, between him and Reese wasn’t their business.

“Guess I better get cleaned up.” Pax grabbed another cookie. Not the sweet morsel he wanted, but it would have to do.

For now.

* * *

A low country tune mixed with the sound of boots shuffling against the scuffed wooden dance floor. The distinct click of pool balls ricocheting off one another could be heard from where they’d pushed tabl
es together to accommodate their party of six. The smell of beer, beef, and grilled onions filled the air, making Reese’s stomach growl.

Slick D’s, or Slick’s as the locals called it, hummed with the energy of the new weekend, but not so much that conversation was out of the question. Hardcore Friday-nighters were more apt to go to the larger saloons and nightclubs that dotted the landscape. Not this out-of-the-way, small-town, watering hole that catered to the local ranching community.

Reese hadn’t been in this bar for years, and here she was, for the second time in a week.

When Todd had called her last weekend and begged her to meet him for a drink, she’d relented. She’d ended their relationship several months ago, but he hadn’t been quick to accept her decision. She’d hoped a final face-to-face would do the trick. Let him see for himself the sincerity in her words when she told him, yet again, she wouldn’t be his wife. She’d assumed wrong. The man was as thick as a brick.

If she’d had any doubts before—she hadn’t, but if she had—seeing Paxton again had proved she wouldn’t be Todd’s wife. If she’d loved Todd, she wouldn’t have jumped into bed with Pax. Not that they’d ever made it to an actual bed, but the point remained—Todd wasn’t
the one
. He deserved the opportunity to move on, just as she wanted to do.

There was a small problem with the whole moving on scenario: in trying to get Paxton Mathis out of her system, she feared all she’d accomplished was to make his mark on her more permanent.

And then, as though things couldn’t get any more complicated, Pax’s brother Clay had seen her and stopped by to say hello. In an openly possessive move, Todd had dropped an arm over her shoulder and tried to pull her close. Instead of throwing him off, she’d jumped to her feet to give Clay a hug, aware to her toes the look the two men had shared.

What was it about male posturing, anyway? Who the hell were they, sizing each other up when she didn’t belong to either of them? She didn’t belong to anyone. Yet her heart had pounded as she wondered if Clay would mention seeing her to Pax. What would Pax think if he knew she’d been out with another man the night after they’d … hell’s bells. Could she make a bigger deal out of nothing? They weren’t kids anymore. Pax didn’t want anything from her. Of that, he’d been crystal clear. She needed to quit pretending last week meant anything to him.

Her phone buzzed her pocket. She checked the screen.

Todd.

Jesus, couldn’t the man take a hint?

“Hey beautiful, why the frown?”

Pax’s baritone flowed like smooth honey down her spine. A shiver followed. His gaze darted to the hardening points of her nipples, and one side of his mouth twitched up.

Reese didn’t try to hide her body’s response. She kind of enjoyed the idea of him knowing he’d turned her on. Maybe she’d even return the favor.

She re-pocketed her phone. “I didn’t realize I was frowning.”

“Everything okay?”

She lowered her eyelids to half-mast, unwilling to let Todd, or the thought of Todd, ruin her night. “Everything is great.”

Pax set a pitcher of beer on the table. Gavin followed suit, setting a full pitcher next to Pax’s, before sinking into the chair next to Lauren.

Trevor had his fists full of icy mugs. “If you want something other than beer, we can order it when the waitress comes by to get our order. That okay?” He asked no one in particular as he started filling mugs.

Pax relaxed into the chair next to her and leaned until their shoulders were touching. Lord, he smelled good. The cuffs of his dark blue button up were rolled back, exposing his heavily muscled forearms. She imagined peeling the shirt from his shoulders, watching every undulation as she discovered each muscle.

“That was definitely a frown. What’cha thinkin’ about so hard?”

“That giant burger I’m going to order,” she hedged, unwilling to share the intimate direction of her thoughts.

Pax laughed and took a mug from Trevor and placed it in front of her. “Beer, okay? I can get you something else, if you’d rather have wine, or something with more zing.”

His sudden uncertainty tugged at her heart.

She laid her hand on his jean-clad thigh. “Beer is fine. Thank you.”

Powerful muscles tightened under her palm. Pax jerked a nod. “Okay, then.” He leaned closer, his palm pressed into the back of her hand as he entwined their fingers. “And unless you are prepared to leave with me this minute, stop drawing those circles on my leg.”