Bound by Trust (10 page)

“You
have an uncanny ability to keep it.” She rolled into him and ran her hand down
his front landing on his throbbing erection. “But I see I’m not the only one
easily swayed.”

Rafe
turned on his back and pulled her on top of him. Sitting up, she ran her hands
across his chest, finding every now-familiar ripple and began to glide along
him, growing wet from the feel of him running the length of her slowly
hardening clit. Ever since she’d found out that sex could be so good, she found
herself letting go and enjoying the experience more. That including allowing
herself to give in to Rafe’s instruction on how things could be between a man
and woman. And she found she liked how things could be. More empowered and
free, she was willing to do things she’d never conceived of before. Like playing
with silk scarves. At first she’d been intimidated at the prospect of being
blindfolded and tied up, relinquishing all control, but found instead the
experience to be freeing. Submitting to him and allowing him complete
constraint had given her a hypersensitive awareness of everything he did. Every
stroke of his hands, every flick of his tongue, every breath that whispered
across her skin was heightened, taking her to places she never knew existed.
Not being able to see or touch back allowed her to give in to an awareness
she’d never experienced before. The test of her trust had proven a most
enjoyable experience.

This
morning it was her turn to control. Straddling him, she set the pace, giving
and taking at will. First driving him to the brink, then pulling back, making
him wait.

Rafe
moaned and drew in his breath. “Woman, you feel so good.” He ran his hands
along her thighs and stopped in between them, running his thumbs through the
thick wetness he’d invoked from her. Madi moved off of him and reached for the
condoms.

“You
know, we don’t have to do that anymore? We’re married.” He watched her hoping
for a receptive reaction.

“Are
you sure, Rafe? I mean things are moving kind of fast…”

He
pulled her back over him, helping her ease down his throbbing erection.

“I’m
ready anytime you are, honey. I’ve waited my whole life to find you and have a
family, but if you want to wait, say so now.”

She
shook her head. “I don’t want to wait.”

With
her palms firmly planted on his broad chest, she closed her eyes and bit her
bottom lip, taking him in again and again. She loved the feel of how he
completely sated her, erasing the ache she’d felt for so long before she’d met
him. She lost herself in the moment and was acutely aware of everything she
felt. His hands moved over her stomach and up to her breasts, cupping them,
kneading them and sending tiny shocks downward, adding to the heat building
below her belly button, threatening to catch blaze and sear them both. One of
his hands moved from her breast and wandered down between her legs. He ran two
of his fingers alongside her clit, slowly at first, then building with her
increased breathing and pulse.

Moving
her hands behind her, she placed them on his thighs and leaned back opening
herself up to him. Flitting along like butterfly wings, his fingers moved
easily, eventually settling in a circular pattern, only interrupted by him
dipping into her, bringing up moisture. He continued to tease her, drawing her
nearer to completion. A trail of sweat beaded and fell between her breasts,
flowing down and falling onto his abdomen to roll off with his. It dampened the
sheet beneath them and combined with the musky scent of two bodies finding the
most primitive of pleasures.

She
moaned and arched her back. “That feels so good.”

The
hand that had cupped her breast was now clutching her thigh helping pull her
over him. No matter how many times he found himself buried inside her, Rafe
couldn’t get enough of her. She was like an addiction. He loved how pure and
sweet and innocent she was, and he loved the way she eagerly learned what drove
him mad and used it to her advantage. She clenched and he moved his fingers
faster around her, wanting to see the look on her face when she came, complete
unabated pleasure that she was never ashamed of expressing.

“Madi,
look at me.”

Their
eyes locked as their bodies continued to build toward something that threatened
to consume them both. The feel of his fingertips pressed firmly to her built a
friction that felt like it would combust was maddening. Heat ran out of her
middle and down her legs. Tossing her head back, she cried out and began to
shudder over him. She stopped moving for a moment, frozen over him with her
insides clutching him, then relenting to uncontrollable spasms. Quickly, he
grabbed her by the hips and began to rock her over him, forcing her to keep
coming. Then as she began to drift down from that place between earth and
someplace surreal, he rolled her over staying inside her. On his knees he
pulled her legs up. With her feet on his shoulders, he held her behind the
knees, thrust into her, driving himself as far as he could go. His insides
coiled and he groaned in desperation. Just as she began to pulse around him
again, he let go and quaked inside her, bringing them both to fulfillment.

Easing
out of her he slid next to her, pulled her back to his chest, and kissed her
shoulder. She melted into him as if they were one person. Never would he grow
tired of her.

*
* * *

They
finally gave in to hunger at noon, showered, and left the honeymoon suite that
had sent them down the happily-ever-after path the day before. Madi had tried
to convince him that they could live on love alone, but in the end his stomach
won the argument that they did indeed require actual food to keep doing what
they had been for hours on end.

“Do
you want to get Shannon’s roses and go see her today?” he asked as they were
driving around the base.

It
still felt odd to have Rafe speak so freely about her daughter, but strangely
enough in a good way. He’d never tiptoed around the subject ever since she’d
told him about her like everyone else always had. She never felt like she was
supposed to forget that she existed around him and it had somehow helped her to
gain some sort of closure with the situation.

“Yes,
I think I would like that. Let’s get something from the deli, then we can go
see Shannon and have lunch in the park.” Then something else occurred to her.
“Do you think we could go to the stables and see if Cass is still there?”

“I
don’t see why not. If he is, I imagine he’d be glad to see you, too.”

An
hour later, Rafe pulled into the Memorial Gardens just outside of city limits
and parked not far from the row where Madi had directed him. He shut the engine
off, ran his arm across the back of the seat, and looked at her.

“Do
you want me to go with you?” He ran his fingers along her temple and brushed
back her hair.

“I
think I need a few minutes by myself, then you can come if you want,” she
answered. “You don’t have to come see if you don’t want to, if it will bother you.”

He
could tell she was nervous about the whole thing and didn’t want to do anything
to further upset her. “I would like to come when you are ready. I’ll wait here,
and you let me know when you’re ready.”

After
helping her down, he stood back, watching as she approached the miniature
headstone at the edge of the tree line, just under a sprawling oak tree. She
eased down, sat back on her heels, and pulled the weeds from around the tiny
grave then placed the dozen pink roses beside the gray marker. For a while she
was still, then he could tell by her movements that she was having a conversation
with the little girl. After several minutes she rose, turned, and waved for him
to come to her.

Joining
her, he took her in his arms from behind and put his head on her shoulder. “Are
you okay?”

“Yeah,
I am. I think more so than I ever have been with this.” She put her arm along
his across her stomach and prayed that if she should conceive, it wouldn’t end
this way again.

Rafe
looked to the left and right seeing no other markers bearing the Melbourne
name. “Madi, where is Gage?”

“Arlington,”
she said bitterly. “His parents didn’t think it was important enough for him to
be near his daughter.”

No
wonder she was so heartbroken about leaving little Shannon here, she was alone.

“Well,
when we figure out where we’re going to live when I retire, we’ll have her
moved.” He kissed her cheek and squeezed her around the middle. “She needs to
be with her family.”

After
they’d had their picnic, they made their way to the breeder’s stables a few
miles outside of Hopkinsville to see if Casanova was still around, or if
someone had adopted him. Rafe noticed Madi’s eyes light up at the sight of all
the horses grazing and the closer they got to the barns the more excited she
got.

“You
really do love horses, don’t you?” he said, parking in front of the barn Madi
directed him to.

“Yes,
I definitely preferred the horses over the cows on Daddy’s farm. I wanted to
start my own breeding business. Cass was supposed to be my start, but that went
to hell in a hand basket.”

She
wanted to raise horses too? He’d never even told her he wanted to start a
cutting horse operation back home. She was out of the truck and hurrying toward
the building before he could help her out. A tall man with blond hair and
glasses was just emerging. When he saw Madi, he waved, and headed her way.

“John,
how are you?” She ran up and gave him a hug.

“Good,
good, how are you?” He pulled her back and looked her over, then noticed Rafe
behind them. “And who is this?”

“This
is Rafe McCarthy, my new husband.”

“New
husband?” John let go and grabbed Rafe’s hand pumping enthusiastically. “Good
to meet you.” He ran his free hand over the top of Rafe’s head. “I see you
switched branches, Madi, a Marine. Good choice.”

“Is
Cass…” she started, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

“He’s
still back there,” John assured her.

Madi
took off in a dead run with the two men ambling along behind. She was already
in Cass’ stall when they reached her. The horse was nickering and nosing her
hair, obviously happy to see his former master.

“Wow,”
Rafe exclaimed. “That’s some good-looking horse flesh there.”

“Yeah,”
John answered. “He would have thrown some good racers too.”

“What
about cutters? You think he has that in him?”

“I
don’t see why not, you raise cutters?”

“Not
yet.” Rafe wandered closer and heard Madi apologizing to her horse for having
to leave him.

“Why
don’t you take him out for a while?” John told her. “He doesn’t get enough
exercise as it is.”

She
soon had Cass saddled and was gone into the pastures, spurring the horse on,
her hair flying behind her.

“So,
how much does she owe on him, anyway?” Rafe inquired.

“A
little over four thousand, for Madi, I’d go four even.” John walked down the
stall row and into a tack room with Rafe right behind. “Look at this.”

Hanging
on the wall was one of the finest western saddles Rafe had ever seen. It was
adorned exquisitely with silver medallions and beadwork everywhere, was
expertly stitched, and was polished to a fine hue.

“Is
that hers?” He walked over and fingered some of the fringe hanging from the
edges of it.

“Yes,
when she left him here she left all her tack, said she wouldn’t have any use
for it where she was going. Damn shame she had to give up so much.”

“Well,
that won’t be happening anymore, I can assure you.”

Chapter 9

“You
what?” Meredith held Madi’s hand in hers and stared at the huge rock adorning
her finger.

“I
married Rafe over the weekend.” She took her hand back and picked up the menu
wondering if she wanted tacos or nachos.

“I’m
speechless.”

“Well,
get unspeechless, and tell me you’re happy for me.” She was still basking in
the fact that she was in love and married.

“I’m
more than happy, I’m ecstatic. Shocked, but ecstatic. Does Mama know about
this?” Meredith took a chip and loaded it up with salsa before popping it into
her mouth.

“Yes,
I called her yesterday, on our way home and told her. She wants to have a
reception this weekend.”

“Well,
I’m glad you told her your news first, it will lessen the shock of mine.”

Madi
held a chip just inches from her mouth and stopped before she could eat it.
“What news?”

Meredith
smiled nervously and rubbed the back of her neck. “I’m pregnant.”

“I…you
what?” Madi put the chip down and looked at her sister’s face, seeing she was
completely serious.

“I
said, I’m pregnant.”

“Does
Aiden know?”

“Yes,
he does.” Meredith took a deep breath. “He wants to get married.”

“What
do you want?”

“I
don’t know. I never expected this to happen.”

They
stopped talking long enough to tell the waitress what they wanted, then picked
back up.

“I’m
scared. It all seems too perfect. See, he not only wants to get married and
have this baby, he wants to adopt Nev.”

“Meredith,
that’s wonderful.” She reached over and squeezed her sister’s hand. “I was
afraid too, but I tried and I think you should too. I think you’d be hard
pressed to find another one as good to you as Aiden has been.”

*
* * *

By
the end of June, Madi had managed to pick up three new students. One, the
daughter of Rafe’s captain, was learning piano, and the other two boys were
violin students. She would soon have enough to start preparing for a real
recital. Things were picking up, and without the threat of the creditors
hauling her away to debtors’ prison due to Rafe’s help, she could axe the plan
to moonlight as a stripper. If things would just work out for Meredith so well,
life would be as near to perfect as it could get.

Jared
and Liz had arrived and were getting settled into Rafe’s old house. Madi liked
Liz, although she was a bit young and naïve, but then again, Madi had been that
way once herself. She’d decided to take her under her wing and help her along
with the role she’d assumed for herself as Army girlfriend, to include how to
throw a tremendous party for the man in your life. That was how she found
herself shopping with Liz on a Saturday morning, in preparation for their
welcome-to-the-neighborhood party at her house that evening.

“So,
what do you think we should get—the red or the white?” Liz stood in the middle
of the wine aisle at the Blue Coconut holding up a bottle of each.

“Both,
and a few bottles.” Madi pushed the cart and filled it with the imported beer
that most of the guys in Rafe’s unit drank, and made a mental note to get
enough limes at the commissary.

“I
don’t think we can afford to.” Liz crinkled up her nose and looked at the other
choices.

“Liz,
don’t worry about it. This party is on Rafe and me, and I know what it is to be
poor, believe me, but you don’t need to think about what it’s costing today.”

“Is
this what it’s like?” She put the bottles in the cart with the beer.

“What
what is like?”

“Being
married to the Army. Everyone seems to have already accepted me, and they are
treating me like we’re married instead of just living together.”

Madi
had to take a breath before she answered. What she said could make or break Liz
and Jared’s budding romance.

“Well,
most of the time. Usually wives stick together, and typically everyone is like
one big extended family. There is usually someone around to help you with
whatever needs done that you can’t handle on your own. It has its ups and
downs.”

That
was the part that Madi had found comfort in and had missed, the friendships and
camaraderie. Her new friend didn’t need to know that the downs sometimes
included a husband who was sometimes less than attentive and deceptive. At
least she had Rafe now and didn’t have to worry about either of those things.

*
* * *

With
the smell of burgers and bratwurst cooking, the sound of the local radio
station belting out the latest pop hits, and the pleasant echoes of laughter,
Madi looked across her yard and marveled at how well her little party was
going. Almost all of Rafe’s co-workers had shown up, to include the master gunnery
sergeant her mother had taken a liking to during the roofing party. It seemed
her constant hunt was temporarily suspended, and the people in Jared’s unit who
weren’t on rotation had also come. Liz was mingling with the other wives and
girlfriends and looking very happy. Meredith and Aiden were quietly enjoying
each other on one corner of the porch, away from the watchful eyes of Nev, who
was Madi’s little shadow. For the time being, all was right in her world.

“Aunt
Madi?” Nev said, sitting beside her on the bench under the big oak tree in the
backyard.

“Yes,
my precious girl.” Madi reached down and tucked one of the little girl’s golden
curls behind her ear.

“Is
Mommy going to marry Aiden?”

Madi
was taken aback. What was she supposed to tell her?

“Well,
I’m not sure, honey. Do you like Aiden?”

“Yes,
I do. He’s nicer to me than my real Daddy. He plays Monopoly with me, and
sometimes he reads to me at night. And he always makes me practice my piano. He
says it’s important to you and Mommy for me to do good at it.” Nev’s eyes
shone.

“Well,
baby girl, I think Aiden is a very nice man, too. And, it is important to
practice piano, but I want you to do it because it is what you want, not
because I and Mommy think you should. And as far as your real daddy, well,
things just didn’t work out between him and your mommy, and he has a lot of
problems, but we must keep hoping that someday he’ll work through them and be a
better daddy.” No matter how horrible Chad was, Madi felt it was important not
to put him down in front of Nev.

“Oh,
I do want to play piano, and the harp, I really love it. But I have to tell
you, Aunt Madi, I would still rather have Aiden for a daddy.”

“Well,
we just have to let Mommy and Aiden figure that one out, but keep hoping. Without
hope, we don’t have much.” Madi leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
“Now, why don’t you go tell Uncle Rafe that I asked him to make you a plate
because you’re going to have to go inside and go to bed in a while.”

“Aunt
Madi, I’m glad you married Uncle Rafe. I think he’s nicer than Uncle Gage was.”

From the mouths of babes.
If adults could only be so observant before it was too late.
She watched Nev trot across the yard
and take Rafe’s enormous hand with her tiny one and lead him to the makeshift
tables they’d created with sawhorses and plywood. The weight of so much food
had caused them to bow in the middle. Even though they’d spread the word for
people not to bring anything, Marine wives didn’t listen any better than Army
wives, apparently, and there was enough food to feed an entire company. Then
she saw Rafe turn. He smiled at Madi and nodded his head positively at whatever
Nev was saying to him. She wondered what questions she was posing to her new
uncle that were beyond humanly possible answers.

After
pouring herself a glass of tea, she joined Liz who’d quit mingling for the time
being and was sitting on the porch, watching everything and drinking a beer.

“So,
when are you and Rafe going to get pregnant?” Liz asked, adjusting her position
so she could see Madi better.

Madi
raised her eyebrows and looked at the girl closely. “What would make you ask me
that?”

“I
don’t know. You two just seem like you should have a dozen or so running under
foot.” She paused and took a drink. “Jared wants to get married, but I’m not so
sure. He said you were married to the Army for ten years, and now you’re married
to a Marine. I was hoping you could give me some advice. Like, how do you stand
them being away all the time? I’m not sure I can deal with it, so I haven’t
told him yes yet.” She was searching for the answers she needed to commit to
her soldier.

The
only thing Liz knew about Gage was that he wasn’t around. She figured Jared had
kept his death to himself to avoid scaring the poor girl into saying no.

What
was she supposed to tell her? Oh, it’s no big deal. It gets easier with time.
The reunion sex is what keeps you hanging on for months on end. Find a hobby,
make friends, get a job, go to school, and don’t mope. All the golden rules
she’d been schooled in and adhered to for ten years. All of it ending one cold
November day when two men in dress uniforms presented themselves on her doorstep
with the message that started, “We regret to inform you…” Here this young woman
was looking to her, the older, more mature woman, who’d been through it all and
lived to tell the tale. Wanting one answer, you can do it; love is enough to
carry you through. But was it? Would it ever be? For a few moments, she thought
about all the questions and scary parts of being a military spouse that she had
failed to address a few weeks ago when she rushed off to the courthouse with Rafe.
She was at a loss for words for several seconds.

“I
can’t tell you what to do, Liz. Gage, my first husband, died in combat…”

“Oh—my—God.
Jared didn’t tell me. I’m so sorry I brought this up. It must have taken a lot
of courage to try again and marry Rafe.” Liz turned several shades of red and
twisted her hands in a ball in her lap.

Madi
took her hands in hers and held them. Then she looked straight into her new
friend’s widening eyes.

“Liz,
it’s all right. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can tell you this much—Jared
is a good man. I’ve known him as long as I did Gage. He’d never do anything to
hurt you intentionally and when he commits, he commits.” She hoped she was
doing the right thing. “As far as marriage, it isn’t something to be taken
lightly. The role of Army wife isn’t an easy one to play, but it has its
rewards. Is it scary? Yes, scary as hell. Is it lonely? Yes, lonelier than you
think you’ll be able to withstand, sometimes. But the rewards outweigh any
misery you’ll endure.”
If the man you are
with is worth his salt.
“If you decide to marry him, cherish him and make
every minute you have together count. And never dwell on the what-ifs. Those
will drive you crazy, if you let them.”

She
hoped she could remember all that when the time came for Rafe to go waltzing
back off to war.

*
* * *

June
passed into July, bringing with it the worst heat Madi ever remembered
enduring. Normally, just having endured the disappointment of having had her
period would have depressed her, but seeing her sister’s swollen feet stuck in
the creek the day before the Fourth made her feel better about not being
pregnant. Rafe had taken Aiden and Jared with him to pick up a horse for a
friend and that had left the ladies to have two days to do all the girl things
they wanted without male interference. That Friday afternoon, that meant
sitting on the creek bank with lemonade, watching Nev play in the shallows,
talking girl talk to their hearts’ content and planning Meredith’s wedding.

“I’m
glad you finally gave in and decided to marry him,” Madi told her sister,
flipping through one of dozens of wedding accessories catalogs they had piled
around them in the grass. “Are you sure about this orange October thing,
though?”

“It
isn’t orange, it’s tangerine, and yes I’m sure.” Meredith looked crossly at her
sister and adjusted her feet in the water.

“Well,
it doesn’t seem to me it will go very well with his dress blues,” Liz piped up.
“When Jared and I do this thing we’re going with the whole red and blue theme.”

“Well,
good for you,” Meredith shot back. “But I’m not into the whole patriotic
overboard mess. I’ll have a lifetime to deal with the dutiful wife billet, but
October 21st is my day and I’m going to have tangerine if it is the last thing
I do.”

“We’ll
see,” Madi interceded. “If I remember correctly, when you were pregnant with
Nev, you were changing your mind about everything, every few hours. By October
you’ll be wearing a black wedding dress and Ozzy Osbourne will be the guest
musician.”

Liz
burst out laughing and Meredith gave her a push sending her headlong into the
water. Madi couldn’t help but laugh as well at Liz floundering around with her
hair stuck all over her face like a mass of seaweed and before she knew it Liz
had pulled her in. Nev was soon sending plumes of water over them both with her
two-handed splashing. The only person not laughing was Meredith who sat quite
content on her perch, perusing another catalog.