Bound to Serve (11 page)

“We could go down to the pond,” Colin offered. “It’s nearly iced.”

“Not enough,” Harry said wisely. “Papa says it won’t be ready for skating for a month yet.

“Then that settles that,” Elspeth said. “If you’d like come this Sunday after church we’ll walk down and check its progress.”

“Not this Sunday.”

All looked up at the sound of Clifford’s voice.

“There’s a dinner at the church after services,” he announced. “We will be attending.”

He looked at Elspeth. “All of us.”

She said nothing, only nodded. Part of her was surprised, as she thought Clifford would seek to distance himself from her in the wake of their kiss.

“He just needs me there to mind the children,” she said to balance her childish dreams against reality. “He’ll want to socialize, meet people. He needs someone to watch the boys as he does that, and that is all.”

He said nothing more to her after breakfast other than to tell her he would be in his study and did not want to be disturbed unless there was an emergency or a caller. As luck would have it, though, a visitor did come to call just before noon.

It was Reverend Habersham’s wife. Beside her was a tall pretty young woman in a traveling cloak and bonnet.

“Mrs. Habersham.” Elspeth dropped into a polite curtsy. “So nice to see you.”

The preacher’s wife tilted her head back and looked down her nose at Elspeth.

“My word,” she said disgustedly. “Look at you, attempting to engage me in conversation as if you were the lady of this house.”

She looked past Elspeth. “Where’s Mr. Harker?”

“I’ll fetch him. Wait here.”

Elspeth turned, saying no more lest she speak her mind. The boys, who had followed her to the door now trailed behind her like baby ducks to their father’s study.

When they got there Elspeth quietly knocked on the door.

“Yes?”

“You have visitors,” she said.

She heard him sigh and get up.

“Who?” he asked, opening the door.

“Mrs. Habersham. And a guest.”

He took off his glasses and tucked them in his pocket.

“Show them to the parlor and serve them some tea, Elspeth. I’ll be along directly. See that the boys keep to their room.”

“As you wish, sir,” she said with a curtsy.

She heard the study door click as she turned to go back down the hall. The boys were there waiting halfway down for her. Elspeth stopped and knelt before them with a smile.

“Colin, Harry,” she said, looking serious. “Your father is receiving guests and wants you to stay in your nursery until they leave.”

“Why?” Colin asked.

“Because he wants it to be so. And it so it shall.” She made her tone especially firm, looking from one boy to the next to impress how seriously she took the matter. “Now upstairs with you both.”

The boys obeyed and Elspeth went back to the front door.

“Mr. Harker would like you to wait in the parlor. I’ll fetch some tea if you’d like.”

“Yes, we would.” Mrs. Habersham said. Elspeth turned to lead the way.

As they walked, the preacher’s wife addressed the woman at her side, talking as Elspeth couldn’t hear.

“Mr. Harker was kind enough to take this girl in when she was nothing more than a filthy, uncouth beggar at the port. Why he keeps her I’ll never know; servants are scarce. Perhaps that is why.”

Elspeth’s face reddened and she felt her Irish temper flare but said nothing as she opened the parlor door and directed the women to two chairs.

After checking the fire she hurried off to get the tea. The water boiled far too fast for her and soon she was back in with the tray.

Mrs. Habersham took hers without acknowledging Elspeth, but her guest smiled kindly.

“Thank you,” she said.

Elspeth smiled back. “You are welcome.”

The parlor door opened then and Clifford Harker entered. Walking over to the women he took the preacher’s wife’s hand.

“Mrs. Habersham.”

“Mr. Harker.” Her thin lips spread in an unattractive smile. “Do you remember Prudence Alder, my niece?”

He smiled and took her hand. “Yes, I do. You were here summer before last, correct?”

“Yes.” Prudence stood, and Elspeth noticed that she was just half a head shorter than he. Next to the both of them she felt very small.

“I was sorry to hear of your wife’s passing, Mr. Harker. And your young son’s passing as well. How are your other boys, - Colin and Harry I believe?”

“Yes,” he said. “They are adapting.”

“He is a good father,” Mrs. Habersham said. “It’s indeed divine inspiration that guides him to be such a good father, raising these boys as he does with no mother figure in the house.”

Elspeth poured the tea and waited for Clifford to correct her, but he did not.

“Indeed it can be difficult,” he said. “But they are smart lads. They make it easier than it looks.”

“Will that be all?” Elspeth spoke the words over the lump in her throat, looking away as she addressed Clifford. But he seemed not to notice.

“Yes, you are excused,” he said. “But stay within earshot in case our guests need anything else.”

She walked from the room, and once outside the door could not stop the hot tears that coursed down her face.

“Stop it,” she told herself. But she couldn’t stop. All the months of caring for the boys, of guiding them from their sad little shells into the happy, easygoing lads they were becoming.

Elspeth could not, would not sell herself short. While neither she nor Clifford had intended for her to become a mother figure to his sons, she had. Did he not notice the way their eyes lit up when they saw her? Did he not see their growing bond? Did he not feel it himself? If he didn’t, then why had he increasingly included her in family outings, even taking her to church? Why had he taken the time to teach her to read? Why had he kissed her?

She brushed the tears away, trying to stop more from coming as she faced a harsh new reality. Clifford Harker was lonely. He was lonely and she was the only adult female in his life. And now someone from his past had come to visit and everything she’d become had vanished like smoke.

“Elspeth!”

She wiped her eyes quickly at the sound of his voice and rushed to splash cold water in her face.

“Elspeth! Where are you?”

“Here!” She wiped her face again, this time with her apron and walked towards the sound of his voice.

“Yes?”

When she saw him, his expression was dark and angry.

“The boys are in the parlor,” he said. “I thought I told you…”

“Yes,” she said. “And I told them…”

He ignored her and cut her off. “Bring some cakes to the parlor to go with the tea. And then take Colin and Harry
back
to their rooms!”

There was condemnation in his voice, as if it were her fault the boys had defied his wishes. And perhaps it was. Rather than retreat to the kitchen perhaps she should have gone to the nursery instead.

She piled some cakes on a plate and hurried to the parlor, where the boys sat looking chastened, even as Prudence sat talking to them.

“My word…,” she was saying. “I cannot believe how big you have gotten! And how handsome!”

“Elspeth!” They jumped up and ran to her, talking excitedly.

 “We’re sorry we made Papa angry, but we missed you,” Colin said.

“Yes,” affirmed Harry. “Come play with us!”

“I will,” she said. “But after I serve Papa’s guests. So back to your rooms, please.”

The boys grumbled but obeyed and as soon as they were out of earshot Mrs. Habersham turned to Clifford.

“Those boys need a mother, sir,” she said gravely. “A cultured woman, not some educated country chit who treats them like her playmates. They need someone who can instruct them and raise them to be gentlemen.”

“Mrs. Habersham, please,” Clifford Harker raised his hand and Elspeth felt hope that he would defend her against the insult. But she was to be disappointed again.

“The boys are fine and I am fine,” he said. “In time I will court again and the woman I choose will be suitable. For now I have business to attend to.”

Mrs. Habersham smiled over her teacup.

“Did you know my niece will be staying with us for the next month?” she asked innocently. “It would be rather nice if you would perhaps accompany her to some of our church functions. For instance, the supper on Sunday?”

“Auntie,” Prudence began.

“Oh, come now,” Mrs. Habersham said. “It will give the two of you a chance to catch up. You talked so easily the last time she was here. And as I recall, your lovely Caroline remarked that two of you had quite a bit in common – you both loved books, sewing, gardening, music…”

“Please..” Prudence’s tone was growing embarrassed.

“So what do you say, Mr. Harker?”

“Why not?” he said with a smile. “It would be an honor. The boys will enjoy your company, I’m sure, and my servant will probably appreciate a Sunday afternoon to herself. Right Elspeth?”

The lump had returned to Elspeth’s throat and she could only nod as she stoked the fire.

“Will that be all?” she finally asked.

“Yes,” he said, and she left, the sound of the trio’s conversation lingering in her ears as she retreated up the stairs.

***

The boys’ excitement at seeing her was nearly enough to make her want to cry again.

“I drew you a picture!” Colin climbed in her lap as she sat down and handed her a piece of paper with a crude heart in the center. Inside the heart was the figure of what Elspeth surmised to be the two of them.

“Do you love it!”

“I do,” she said, clutching him to her. “And I will treasure it forever and ever.”

“I helped,” Harry said. “His heart would have looked like a circle otherwise, so it’s from me too.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

“Who is that strange woman with Mrs. Habersham and Papa?” Harry asked. “She said she knows us but I don’t remember.”

“Her name is Miss Alder,” Elspeth said. “She’s Mrs. Habersham’s niece. She’s staying with Mrs. Habersham and the Reverend Habersham for a month.”

Colin made a face.

“That’s sad,” he said. “They are no fun.”

Elspeth put her hand in front of her face so they wouldn’t see her grin.

“Well,” she said, regaining her composure. “Don’t let your father hear you say that. He’ll think you rude.”

“And then we’ll be in trouble.”

“Yes.”

There was a knock at the nursery door and then Clifford Harker entered.

“Our guests have gone,” he announced. “And I’m most disappointed in you two boys.” He turned to Elspeth. “And in you for allowing them to defy me. Again.”

She stood, her hurt and anger rising to the surface.

“I did not allow them to defy you,” she corrected. “I was serving guests who arrived without any announcement in the middle of an already structured day. The boys were restless.”

“That is of no consequence,” he said hotly. “These boys are losing respect for me. Mrs. Habersham is…”

“…right?”  Elspeth finished his sentence, hurt hanging on the word.

“Boys,” she said, not wanting them to hear any more. “Please leave the room. I’d have a word with your father.”

Colin and Harry seemed to sense that something was wrong and walked out. Once they were gone she shut the door.

“You may beat me for my frankness, master, but I do not care. No physical punishment could hurt as badly as your treatment of me in front of those women. Yes, I am just a servant. No, I am no cultured lady. But in spite of being ordered not to, I have loved these boys of yours and they love me in return. It was not planned that way, but love seldom plans itself. To be talked about as if I’m nothing more than a workhorse in this house is beyond painful. You let Mrs. Habersham humiliate me. I am grateful at least, that her guest has more manners. I am disappointed, however, in your lack of them.”

Clifford Harker stood there, stunned.

“You dare talk to me in such a way?” he asked, his tone full of warning.

“Yes,” she said. “I do.”

They started at one another and she waited there, waited for him to take hold of her and grab the nearest implement  and use it on her helpless bottom. But instead, he simply nodded, adjusted his jacket and then, turning on his heel, walked out.

Elspeth stood there, not knowing whether she should follow him or not. She searched her instincts and decided it was telling her not to.

She turned back towards the fire and stared into it, feeling the hot tears of hurt and regret rush down her face. What had she been thinking to confront him?

Then she heard footsteps and before she could turn she felt his hand on her arm, turning her towards him roughly. Fear welled in hear heart. He was going to beat her, she knew. He was going to beat her worse than she’d ever been beaten. She tried to steel herself for it, so when he leaned down and kissed her, it was a complete surprise.

His mouth on hers was hungry and insistent. And wet. And that’s when she realized the tears she felt sliding between their lips weren’t just hers but his as well.

“Elspeth,” he said against her mouth. “Elspeth, I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry.”

He was clutching her so tightly now that it hurt. But she did not tell him so, and just let him hold her as his lips coursed a trail from her mouth to her throat.

Elspeth had never been kissed like this, and threw her head back, her breath coming in little gasps as his hands roamed her body with possessive desperation.

“I forgive you,” she managed. “You know I do. I forgive you. I love you.

“I love you,” he said. “And what a fool I am. I just realized it, Elspeth. I love you. The boys love you….”

“Elspeth?”

Colin’s voice snapped her out of her daydream. Turning she dried her eyes quickly.

“Yes?”

“It’s snowing,” he said. “Come and see.”

She took his little hand then and walked down the stairs. As she passed the hallway she saw Clifford standing there. He looked at her for a long moment before ducking into his study and shutting the door.

“Elspeth?” Colin looked up at her questioningly.