She shook me firmly and finally able to move, I ran to where the two men were wrestling and gripped each on the arm pulling them with every ounce of my strength off of each other. They continued to throw blow after devastating blow into one another. Ollie shoved me hard away from them and I landed with a thud on my ass. Mel screamed, yelling at them hysterically. “You fucking jerks look what you’re doing to her!” Turning his head in my direction Jared stared at me in horror before releasing his grip on Ollie’s collar. I sat on the dirty bar floor and rubbed my elbow which had knocked into the fallen table as I landed. Great, I’d already acquired a busted lip, scratched face, bruised jaw and now this. Happy fucking birthday. Rushing to my side, Ollie crouched beside me. “God Layla I’m so sorry I wasn’t even thinking. Baby are you ok?” Grabbing him by the scruff of the neck Jared pulled Ollie to his feet and shoved him hard away from me. “Don’t you dare call her that! You don’t have the right!” Mel and Amy pulled me to my feet and I brushed myself down quickly, glaring at both men as they panted and glowered at each other. I stormed away from them and out of the bar door into the cool night air. It was sobering and the light rain that was falling mirrored my mood perfectly. Jared had been so busy warring with Ollie I wondered if he’d even noticed I’d gone. Walking down the sidewalk cold, damp and alone, I hugged myself as tears spilled from my eyes. I heard the pad of running footsteps behind me as Jared caught up. He moved in front me and gripped my arms forcing me to stop. “You kissed him? You fucking kissed him!? I can’t believe this. After everything we’ve said, everything we’ve been through you gave your heart to someone else?” I shook my head rapidly. “No! He kissed me . I didn’t kiss him back I swear. I pushed him away and I screamed at him for being so stupid. It was totally one sided. You have to believe me. It happened weeks ago and I…” He broke me off. “Believe you? You want me to believe you? How can I ever trust you again Layla? If you had nothing to hide why didn’t you tell me? I would never keep something like this from you, no matter how much it might hurt. Because right now, it hurts like a dagger through my fucking heart. Did you like it?” I stared at him, bewildered and taken aback by his direct question. But I couldn’t find an answer because the truth was too painful. I had liked it. Another lie was leaving my deceitful lips. “ No, of course not.” He glared at me as his face leaned in, fractionally close to mine. “Took a very long time to think about that Layla. I can’t believe this is happening to me. When did it happen?” I swallowed the lump in my throat and stared into his pained blue eyes. The rain was getting heavier and I could feel the water soaking through my dress, seeping into my skin. “While you were in New York.” His face turned ferociously dark. “I see. It’s not cheating if were in different states huh? Was that how you thought of it? Is that why you didn’t tell me? I bet the two of you had a good laugh about it didn’t you. Boyfriend goes out of town on business so I think I’ll have a little make out session with the guy across the hall. That sound about right?” A sob escaped me as his callous and icy tone swamped me. “No! It was nothing like that. I swear Jared, he kissed me and I pushed him away. It lasted about two seconds and I screamed at him for what he’d done. Please you have to believe me. I didn’t want to hurt you over something that meant nothing to me.” Stepping away from me he ran his fingers through his hair. “You want to talk about honesty Jared? How about this secret you’re keeping about some woman who calls your cell and hangs up. How about telling me the truth about those hushed and secret phone calls?” Looking at me as though I had just torn his heart out, he shook his head. “I can’t tell you.” I strode up to him and glared. “Can’t or won’t?” Staring me down his tone was icy and clipped. “Can’t. God I can’t do this right now. I have to go before one of us says or does something they’ll regret.” He walked away from me, striding fast across the parking lot. I tried to run after him yelling, begging him to stop and talk to me but he ignored my plea, getting into his car and speeding away without giving me a second glance. I couldn’t breathe. My heart hammered in my chest and my stomach lurched and rolled again as nausea threatened. Amy and Mel hurried down the street to me and standing on either side of me, draped an arm around my shoulders. “I can’t believe it’s over. He’s gone. I don’t believe it.” I’d lost him and I had no one to blame but myself. Mel leaned her head against mine. “You don’t know that. Let him cool off. Come on, you’re soaked through. Let’s get you home. It’ll be better in the morning, you’ll see.” Mel and Amy stayed up with me for hours. Mascara flowed down my nose as it rained a monsoon from my eyes. My body ached from the heaving I was doing through being sick with grief. How was I ever going to fix this? I’d lied again. He was never going to forgive me. Curling into bed, I laid there staring at the wall. My eyes drooped and my body was exhausted. I was in desperate need of peace and sleep but I couldn’t stop thinking about Jared. I was in for a rough night.
Chapter 35
Unexpected Guests
Mel’s words echoed in my mind as I woke from my restless sleep. It will be better in the morning she said. It wasn’t. I called but he wouldn’t answer. I texted but he never replied. It was official, we were done. I glanced over at Amy’s side of the room. She was sleeping fully clothed as she and Mel had crashed out around three, when I had pretended to be sleeping. I looked at the clock and groaned. Seven in the morning. Turning over, I tried desperately to go back to sleep. But it was no use. I couldn’t leave things this way, I had to see him. If we were really finished I had to hear it from his lips. Creeping around the room, I pulled on some jeans and a hoodie before slipping on my sneakers and grabbing my car keys. The drive to Jared’s house felt like hours as I went over and over everything that had happened and mentally chastised myself for my part in it all. What would I say when I got there? How could I possibly justify my actions? A thousand questions ran through my mind at lightning speed and I didn’t have an answer for any of them. Pulling up outside the gates, I punched in the security code that I had seen him enter a thousand times and drove down the long driveway. I sat outside his house just staring at the door. Fear and anxiety were keeping me strapped to my seat. What if he kicked me out and we really were finished? Going inside would make everything so final, while outside in my car there was still hope. But I had to know either way. Taking a deep breath, I climbed out of my vehicle and walked up to the door. Nausea and a swarm of butterflies were turning my stomach inside out. I grasped the handle and opened the door. It was never locked. With his security system and the gates, he didn’t need to worry about the front door. I could hear the sound of Elvis booming from the kitchen. The song ‘Are You Lonesome Tonight’ echoed through the vast foyer. I walked slowly and sullenly towards the kitchen, my breathing labored as I tried to control my nerves. Rounding the corner I stood in the door way and froze, gasping for air. Long brown hair and a man’s shirt barely covering a long pair of legs were all I could see as a woman stood with her back to me at the stove. The room disappeared around her as I stared, unable to breathe. My heart shattered and my body trembled as I stood staring at the back of this woman’s head. The door that led to the dining room opened and Jared strolled in, wearing a pair of sweat pants and no shirt. Without seeing me he stood next to her and smiled, inhaling deeply whatever she was preparing. “ Smells great. I’m starving.” She smiled back at him and stroked his arm. “I’ve seen you eat remember? I thought there was no way you were going to finish those pancakes. New York breakfasts are something else though aren’t they?” My fists clenched beside me as fury boiled in my veins. New York? Did she just say New York? My chest constricted and my insides twisted with grief. “I hope you don’t mind but I found this shirt in your closet and figured it’s already stained so probably alright to cook in it.” She turned around and I gasped in horror. She was wearing that shirt. Catching me standing there she screamed. Jared immediately turned around and on seeing my hurt and devastated expression his eyes widened and he stuttered. “No! Wait, shit, it’s not what you think. Layla!” Nausea crept up further and further up my throat, forcing me to gulp hard as I sprinted for the door. He ran after me, pleading with me to stop. “Layla please, wait, I swear it’s not what you think! I didn’t do it. Fuck! Coffee!” Reaching the drive way I halted. Did he just safe word me? Furious, I turned to face him. “You have got to be fucking kidding me. A safe word is for bondage play Jared. It won’t stop me walking out on you!” “ I didn’t know what else to say to make you stop. Please Layla, you have to believe me, I didn’t do it.” “ Didn’t do what Jared? Didn’t get so pissed at me last night that you decided to get back at me? Is that what she is? Revenge?” He tried to reach for me but I recoiled and gave him a warning glare. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me. I never want your disgusting, lying, cheating hands on me again! New York? Is she what you went there for?” Suddenly the realization hit me. All the calls, hushed tones, secret conversations in his office and his sudden trip to New York, it was all for her. The entire time we’d been together he’d been involved with her. I was the other woman. My chest tightened further and breathless I gawked at him. “I can’t believe you had the nerve to say everything you did last night when all this time you’ve had some skank in another state! How many are there Jared? One in each place you visit. God all this time I believed you when you said it was business. I knew there was something you were hiding but this!? How completely stupid am I?” He walked towards me but I wanted none of him. The thought of him touching me after having his hands on her made my skin crawl. “ I do not have women in every state Layla, there’s just you. I swear. Yes she’s the reason I was in New York but I promise it is not what you think. You have to believe me.” I stormed over to him and shoved him hard on the chest. “Believe you? You’ve been lying to me since the moment we met! If she’s not what I think then who the fuck is she Jared? Your maid? Do they all wear your shirts!?” I stood rigid as I waited for an explanation. Shaking his head, he gave me a rueful look. “I can’t tell you.” Raising my hand to his face, I slapped him hard across the cheek. My palm stung and prickled as I remained silent, glowering at him. Staring back at me, his face was contorted with a deep sadness and tears pooled in his eyes. Squaring up to him I clenched my fists as rage filled my body. “I wish you could feel an ounce of how much it hurts to have something you value so much just fall apart right in front of your eyes because the way I feel right now is a fate worse than death.” Without thinking I stormed to my car and yanked the trunk open grabbing the tire wrench that my father always insisted I carry. I was livid, fuming, enraged and my broken heart was making me crazy. Standing next to his sleek and sparkling car I held the wrench firmly in my hands. “Who is she Jared?” He shook his head and stared at the ground. “ Wrong answer!” My arms swung back and in a heavy swoop I crashed the wrench hard into his side mirror, knocking it clean off and flying through the air. He stared at me with the same wounded and devastated expression on his face as before; as though I hadn’t just fractured his expensive and beautiful Jag. His silence fueled my anger. “Last chance Jared. Who is she?!” He shook his head again and stared at me. “I can’t tell you.” My blood boiled and all my hurt, pain and grief was now flooding through my body as tears streamed down my face. Uncontrollably, I smashed the wrench into his car sending the other side mirror hurtling across the driveway and landing at his feet. The windshield shattered as I struck a devastating blow right into the center. Dragging and slamming the wrench over the car, scratching and denting the body work, I growled and sobbed as the aching in my heart consumed me. Dropping the weapon, I dropped to my knees and cried shamelessly. My head in my hands, my body shook with every deep and agonizing sob. Falling to the ground in front of me, he took my hands from my face and held them in his. “Please Layla, you have to believe me, I can’t explain but you have to trust me. Please don’t do this to us.” Snatching my hands away, I ripped the ring from my finger and hurled it at him. “I didn’t do this to us. You did! You can take back all your promises because they don’t mean a thing to me anymore and they obviously never meant anything to you. You tell me she’s not what I think but won’t tell me who she is or give me an explanation. I’m done!”