Brave Beginnings (17 page)

Out of the corner of his eye, he caught
someone huddling in the corner of the room. It was Noah. Scowling,
Chogan marched over to him. Noah’s eyes grew wide and he made a
move to dart off, but Chogan grabbed his arm and pinned him up
against the wall.

Forcing his mind to clear enough to speak
English, Chogan hissed, “You tell Ernest if he come near me, I make
him sorry.”

He let go of a trembling and pale Noah and
left the building.

***

Two hours passed and Chogan’s anger finally
cooled enough so he wouldn’t barge into the bank and demand that
Ernest face him like a man and admit he lied. The injustice
shouldn’t have surprised him. When he agreed to come here to marry
Julia, he knew the odds were against him, but he never once
imagined he’d lose his job because the men would side with a white
man who held a personal grudge.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Even though the breeze chilled him, he didn’t want to go home. He
didn’t want to face Julia and tell her what happened. He’d rather
spend the rest of his life sitting on the bench and staring at the
open land in the distance. He used to go out there when he needed
peace and quiet. But he couldn’t do that anymore. Now he had to go
home and face his wife who assumed others would come around to
seeing the same man she did whenever she looked at him.

And on top of that, he had to tell her that
he needed to look for another job. Judging from the rough time he
had before, he wasn’t optimistic that anyone would jump at the
chance to hire him. As it was, it took Anthony’s friendship with
Larry to get him into the Tribune. Chogan didn’t doubt for a minute
that Anthony would sympathize with his plight, but Anthony hadn’t
had any luck in talking anyone else into giving Chogan the
opportunity to prove himself. And with Ernest and the governor’s
brother-in-law going around spreading their lies, things only
looked worse.

Chogan closed his eyes again. What was he
supposed to do to make money? Perhaps he’d been hasty in rejecting
the money Mike offered, but his pride wouldn’t let him take it. It
was a payoff to ease guilt.

And how does pride help put food on the
table?
Chogan groaned and opened his eyes. It didn’t. He knew
it would take awhile to find work, unless he accepted one of the
jobs none of the white men wanted. He grimaced. He’d once led the
buffalo hunt, and now he’d been regulated to the low level of
someone who fetched water. It was a disgrace.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to do. Time.
He needed time to think. He couldn’t act in haste. Yes. That’s what
he’d do. Take time to make a plan. He didn’t need to do anything
today.

Reluctant to leave the bench, he stood. He
couldn’t avoid going home forever. His steps were slow as he made
his way back into the heart of town, intentionally avoiding the
block where Ernest worked in case he saw Ernest again. If he did,
his anger would only flare up again, and he didn’t want to see
Julia when he was so angry he couldn’t speak English.

He paused as he rounded the block where he
lived. The sun was still out. Surely, she’d suspect the truth when
he came home early. He was supposed to work at the printing press
today.

He stared at his home for a good, long moment
before he glanced over his shoulder. He could go talk to Anthony
and figure out a plan for future employment. At least then he could
return home with some good news. He sighed. No. He’d bothered
Anthony enough in the past. This was his problem, and he’d find a
way to resolve it. One way or another, he’d figure things out. But
not today. Today he had to step back from everything so he wouldn’t
act in haste and make the wrong choice.

And so he proceeded forward. He slowly opened
the front door. The house was quiet. Maybe Julia and her aunt were
out. He removed his boots and set them on the rug by the door
before he shut it.

“Chogan, is that you?” came Julia’s voice
from the parlor.

He winced. He should have been more careful
when he shut the door. Clearing his throat, he got ready to answer
her when she came out of the parlor with a sweater she was knitting
in her hands.

She looked at him in surprise. “What are you
doing home so early?”

He opened his mouth to speak, to tell her the
whole sordid story, but no sound came out.

She frowned and went over to him. “Your face
is red. Are you feeling well?”

Tomorrow. He’d tell her tomorrow. For now, he
needed to be alone. “No. I don’t feel well.” He lowered his gaze
from hers and worked on unbuttoning his coat.

She set her knitting on the small table by
the door and helped him take off his coat. “Why don’t you go to bed
and rest? Aunt Erin and Millicent went shopping. Millicent just
received permission to let Conrad court her. She was so excited. I
almost went along, but now I’m glad I didn’t.” She took his coat
and hung it up in the closet. “Go on upstairs. I’ll be there to
check on you.”

He was ready to protest, but then he realized
he wanted her to check on him, so he nodded and trudged up the
steps. Once in the bedroom, he drew the curtains, put some coal in
the box stove so the room would soon warm, removed his shirt and
pants, and slipped under the blankets. It wasn’t until his head hit
the pillow that he realized how tired he was. He was tired of
trying to fit into the white man’s world. It was obvious that he
didn’t belong. They would never accept him as long as he was an
Indian, and that was something he couldn’t change. The world, it
seemed, was a cold and uncaring place.

He heard Julia coming up the steps so he
turned his gaze to the doorway. She carried a tray with two bowls
on it and set the tray on the dresser. She dipped a clean cloth
into one of the bowls and rung the water out. Then she went over to
him and touched his forehead.

“You don’t feel hot,” she said, her eyebrows
furrowed as she touched his cheeks. “You feel cold. How long were
you outside? Do you feel ill?”

He studied her face, noting the loving
concern in her eyes. Reaching up, he brushed her cheek. “I love
you, Julia.”

She set the damp washcloth on the nightstand
and held his hand. “Chogan, you’re scaring me. You’re not going to
die, are you? Did the doctor tell you something I need to
know?”

“No,” he softly replied. “I’m not sick.”

Her grip on his hand relaxed and she breathed
an audible sigh of relief.

He smiled and squeezed her hand. “You love
me.”

She grinned and shook her head. “What a silly
thing to say. You already knew that.”

“It’s nice to be reminded. You give me a
place to call home, a place to belong. It’s nice to be welcome
somewhere.”

“You’re a part of me, Chogan. I can’t imagine
my life without you.”

“You’re a part of me too,” he whispered.

“What’s going on, Chogan? What happened
today?”

The urge to lie and tell her it was a slight
chill that made him come home early from work was great, but as he
looked into her caring eyes, he knew he had to tell her. He pulled
her closer to him so that he could give her a light kiss.

“This must be bad,” she said, her voice
low.

“They fired me.”

She blinked. “Who?”

“My superiors at the Tribune.”

Her spine stiffened and her expression grew
dark. “Why? Didn’t they just tell you that you were one of the best
employees they’d ever had over there?”

He sighed. “That doesn’t matter.”

“Of course, it matters!” She sat up straight
and tried to stand, but he held onto her hands so she couldn’t.
“Let me go. I need to go down there and find out why they did
this.”

“I already know why.”

She stopped struggling against him and asked,
“Why?”

“Ernest told them to.”

She gasped and tried to stand again.

“Julia, it won’t do any good. He’s
white.”

“So?” she yelled, her face flushed with
anger. “He can’t go into the Tribune and demand they fire you!”

“Yes, he can. And he did.”

“Because of me? Because I didn’t want to
marry him and live out a miserable existence by his side?” She
tried to pull her hands out of his, but he held on. She grunted in
aggravation. “Why won’t you let me go?”

“Because you’ll do something stupid.”

“Stupid? All I want to do is go down there
and demand that they give you your job back…after I slap
Ernest.”

“No. It won’t do any good, and it could make
things worse for you.”

“It has to do some good. I’ll explain that
Ernest wanted to marry me, but I married you instead. Surely, once
they know the facts, they’ll hire you back.”

“No, they won’t.”

“And why not?”

“Because you’re a woman and you married an
Indian.”

Her eyes grew wide and she shook her head.
“What does that matter?”

“A lot, Julia. A lot. It’s your word against
Ernest’s, and Ernest has people who will lie to support his side of
the story.”

“But…” She paused, and he could tell how fast
her mind worked through every possible reason why her plan might
work. After a few seconds, she said, “But Ernest is lying. Truth
will win out.”

“Not today.”

“What are you saying? That Ernest is going to
get away with this?”

“For now, I think so.”

“What about justice? People can’t go on lying
and keep getting away with it.”

“For a time, they might. Justice is not
always immediate. I have no doubt that the day of reckoning will
come for him, but it is not in our ability to make it happen. It
will be someone else who balances the scales.”

“But…but…” Her body relaxed and she stopped
trying to stand up. “It’s not right.”

“You tell me God will handle things in His
time. Do you not trust Him to do that now?”

She leaned forward and lowered her head so
that her forehead touched his. “It’s hard.”

“I know,” he admitted. “It is. But we have
each other. We’ll get through this. The important thing is we stay
together.”

“I had no idea it would be like this when you
came here to be with me.”

“You’re worth it, Julia.” He released her
hands so that he could cup her face in his hands. He wiped a few
tears from her cheeks and smiled at her. “You make me forget all of
it. When I’m with you, the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”

Julia let out a soft sigh of resignation.
“Alright. I won’t go tell those dim-witted men exactly what I think
of them.”

He chuckled. “You would do that too. That’s
my Julia. Full of fire.”

She laughed quietly, and the lingering
tension in his body eased. There was something about her that could
heal all wounds, no matter how painful. Still holding her face in
his hands, he gently brought her face closer to his so he could
kiss her. She responded to him and deepened the kiss. The scent of
lye soap and the brush of her fingers as she stroked his neck
brought an all-too-familiar stirring in his loins.

She ended the kiss and whispered, “We are
alone, and I have nothing to do.”

A wicked smile crossed his face. “How bored
you must be.”

“If you’re here, I might as well use that to
my advantage, don’t you think?”

“You won’t get any complaints from me.”

With a knowing gleam in her eye, she stood
and took the washcloth back to the tray. She glanced at him. “I
forgot I brought you soup. You should eat it.”

“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat it later.”

“But it’ll be cold later.” Though she
protested, he noted the amusement in her voice.

“I’m cold now. I need you to warm me up.”
This wasn’t true, of course, since watching her shut the door with
the intent of making love to him was enough to make his blood boil
with anticipation. He drew back the blankets and patted the
mattress. “Come.”

She gave him a slight smile and unbuttoned
her shirt.

He removed his underwear and patiently waited
as she undressed. His erection strengthened as she took her time in
slipping out of her chemise and petticoats. So much clothing for a
woman to wear, and yet he didn’t mind the many layers since it only
teased him and made him anticipate seeing her bare flesh all the
more.

When she stood before him, heat flushed
through his entire body. No matter how many times they came
together as man and wife, he never got over the initial thrill of
seeing her naked or of feeling her warm skin press up against his
as she slipped under the blankets and snuggled up to him.

“I didn’t realize how cool it is in this
room,” she said.

He wrapped her in his arms and nuzzled her
neck. “I’ll keep you warm.”

She giggled. “Your breath tickles.”

He graced her sensitive skin with light
kisses while he moved his hand over one of her breasts and brushed
her taut nipple with his thumb. She moaned, signaling that it
wasn’t the cold that caused her to shiver.

“Oh, Chogan,” she murmured as she ran her
fingers through his hair which now reached his shoulders. “I always
feel complete when we’re together.”

His response was to kiss her fully on the
lips. She parted her lips and his tongue brushed hers. She brought
one of her legs up and wrapped it around his waist. Then she
shifted so that the area between her legs cushioned his erection.
He groaned and cupped her breast, giving it a light squeeze. He
loved the way she yielded to him in bed. It was so much like her.
Gentle. Soft. Comforting. Giving. It made him love her all the
more.

She moved her hips, rubbing his erection and
sending tingles of pleasure coursing through him. He placed one arm
around her waist, pulled her closer, and lowered his hand so that
he could cup her butt and encourage her movements.

She followed his lead, moaning softly as her
arousal increased. Intrigued, he continued to lead her along, aware
that she was mounting toward her peak. He rolled onto his back so
that she could straddle him with more ease.