Break Free The Night (Book 1) (16 page)

             
“I’
d be good for you, you know
,”
he said. It came out strangled. Kaylee knew he was fighting to keep the anger and disappointment from his tone.

             
“
I know
,”
she whispered in agreement. Because it was true, Andrew would be very, very good for her and there were moments when she felt like an idiot for not just falling in love with him, as she knew she should. But she could
n’
t lie either. She did
n’
t love him that way, not now. Maybe she never would. And though she accepted that she would have to be with him someday, that human survival may depend on it, she did
n’
t fool herself into thinking that she needed to be madly in love with him for that to happen.

              Andrew exhaled slowly
.“
Can you get up the ladder on your own
?”
he asked in a hollow voice. Kaylee hummed an affirmation. He turned towards the ladder and left her.

              It was disconcerting how inviting the cold metal of the fire truck bumper was. She sat slowly, her eyes tracing the grooves in the pavement, her fingers tracing the diamond pattern on the step to the truck cab. She sat for a long time, emotions flitting though her so rapidly and in such perplexing patterns that she could
n’
t process them. The cold seeped through her jeans and distracted her, but it did
n’
t motivate her to move. Andrew was up there, and so was Jack. And she did
n’
t want to face either.

             
“
Anyone down there
?
”

              The familiar voice broke through Kayle
e’
s thoughts, pulling her from the mess in her head
.“I’
m here
,”
she called out to Anna. Her head popped through the hole in the ceiling, looking disconnected from her body as she grinned.

             
“
What are you doing
?”
she laughed, moving her curly, dark hair from her face before giving the limp ladder a shake
.“
I was going to pull this up, thought Andrew left it out
.
”

             
“
Just thinking
,”
Kaylee mumbled before jumping up from her perch on the truck. Pins and needles shot through her legs and she stamped her feet trying to break it up. Ann
a’
s face flashed from confused to complete understanding as Kaylee grabbed the ladder. She wished Anna would
n’
t look at her like that.

             
“
Changed your mind about Jack then
?”
she asked in a quiet voice as Kaylee climbed through. Kaylee shook her head and pulled the ladder up, folding it carefully as she did
.“
Ah, then you have
n’
t changed your mind about Andrew, and h
e’
s asking you to
.
”

              She spoke without question, because, of course, it was
n’
t one. Anna had the uncanny ability to read people and Kaylee had never been an exception
.“
I know you do
n’
t want to talk about it. Remember though, i
t’
s not set in stone yet. We might not be staying here
.
”

             
“
H
e’
s leaving regardless
,”
Kaylee whispered, intensely aware that Andre
w’
s room, the one he shared with his father, was only a few feet down.

             
“
Give it some time
,”
Anna urged, taking the folded ladder from Kayle
e’
s hand and placing it on the shelf to her left
.“
Ther
e’
s no rush
.
”

             
“
Andrew thinks there is
,”
Kaylee said, allowing Anna to steer her towards the stairs by her elbow. She nodded
.“
And there is
n’
t much time. The
y’
re leaving in a few days
.
”

             
“
Andre
w’
s threatened and Jack is unsure. Do
n’
t block yourself in to spare Andre
w’
s feelings and do
n’
t count Jack out yet
,”
she continued, following Kaylee to the second floor and their perspective rooms. Kaylee opened her mouth to argue but Anna shushed her
.“
Give it some time
,”
she insisted before she shut her own bedroom door leaving a frustrated and worried Kaylee alone in the hallway.

~

              The days passed with a painful drudgery. Andrew and Jack were both avoiding Kaylee. The rooms seem to literally clear of people when she entered. Her father was withdrawing steadily, Anna and Bill were busy trying to come up with ways to convince him to leave the city, and Emma remained clueless to Kayle
e’
s situation because she was so immersed in target practice on the roof.

              And though Kaylee understood Andre
w’
s aversion to her, she thought she had hurt him pretty badly with her latest rejection, she could
n’
t understand Jac
k’
s. Even with the confrontation in the garage and the tense morality discussion at the beginning of their walk, she had thought they had had a good time.

             
“
Think Dad will let me get an AR-15
?”
Emma asked, bursting through Kayle
e’
s thoughts.

             
“
No
.
”

             
“
Quinton says the
y’
re the best fully automatic gun to have, good accuracy, you know
?”
Emma continued regardless of Kaylee answer. She paused to blow her hair from her eyes, resting her soapy arms on the edge of the sink as she pulled the drain plug. The two extra mouths to feed had equaled more dishes for the girls to get done and Kaylee was finding herself elbow deep in cold, soapy water more and more often
.“
Or maybe I could smuggle in a Gloc. Quinton says the
y’
re really reliable and h
e’
s already shown me how to take one apart, it just two pieces really, easy to hide. Hey
!
”

              Emma shouted as Kaylee forcefully dumped a bucket of fresh water in the sink to rinse the soap from the plates; a wave of dirty water slopped up onto her shirt
.“
Why would you do that
?”
she asked in angry bewilderment
.“
You do know we have to wash these clothes ourselves
?
”

             
“
You are not getting a gun to hide away from Dad
!”
Kaylee growled. Emma rolled her eyes, pulling an old rag closer to blot her sopping shirt
.“I’
m serious, Emma, you ca
n’
t
.
”

             
“
Who says
?”
Emma shot back, turning to face her sister. She was fuming, her jaw set in determination, as she threw the rag on the counter
.“
Dad is
n’
t even going to notice anyway! All he ever does is stay hidden in his room, he does
n’
t car
e
—”

             
“
He cares about you, about us both
,”
Kaylee said. She tried to make her voice soft and reassuring, but the words caught in a strangled whisper.

             
“
Whatever
,”
Emma mumbled before she turned her back to Kaylee, picking dishes out of the sink with hard, angry movements. But Kaylee knew she was
n’
t really upset with her, it was their father. He was hurting Emma by staying so locked up and isolated. Growing up, if Kaylee had been the little princess, then Emma would have been considered Da
d’
s little buddy. It was she who enjoyed going to baseball games with their Dad. She had fished, hiked, and watched football. When they had first holed up in the fire station, it was she who had braved going into his room when they had first heard his unbearable sobbing.

             
“
Oh
,”
someone exclaimed as they entered the kitchen. Kaylee turned quickly and saw Jack teetering on the threshold, as though he had walked straight in and then attempted to backtrack
.“
Sorry, did
n’
t know anyone was in here
.
”

             
“
Hey Jack
!”
Emma spun around and flashed a smile, wiping her hands dry on the discarded rag
.“
Wha
t’
s up
?
”

              Jack relaxed by degrees, grinning as he walked further into the kitchen
.“
Not much
,”
he responded easily, shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans and leaning back unto the corner of the table
,“
just looking for a snack
.
”

              Emma reached for an apple and threw it to him without hesitation. He caught it with one hand
.“
W
e’
re almost done here
,”
Emma continued, gesturing to Kaylee and the dishes
,“
want to get a game of cards going
?
”

             
“
Umm, ca
n’
t
,”
Jack mumbled in response, catching Kayle
e’
s eye briefly before looking back to his apple
.“I’
m needed on the roof. Quinton
.
”

              Emma frowned at his back as he left, reaching the stairs in record time and practically running up them.

             
“
Wha
t’
d I say
?”
she asked, Kaylee thought mostly to herself.

             
“
I
t’
s not you
,”
she answered, pulling the last of the dishes towards her and beginning to dry them
.“
I
t’
s me. Jack and Andrew are both avoiding me
.
”

             
“
You? Why
?
”

             
“
Jack
I’
m not sure about but Andre
w’
s really upset
.”
Kaylee bit her lip and let the statement hang in the air. The dishes clattered against each other as Kaylee filled the drying rack. The pieces were remnants from the old fire fighters. Kaylee had thought maybe they each had to bring in a few discarded dishes from home because the only matching features were the chips and cracks that adorned each piece. The silverware was even worse. There were only five spoons to begin with, so most mornings at least one person was eating oatmeal with a bent fork.