Breaking Free (11 page)

“Hmmm, I can’t come like this.” She lifted her hips, inviting me to rub her clit as I fucked her. “I need more.”

“Yes, you can.” I’d proven to her she could come this way. “Just let go. Get out of your head and focus on how good it feels.” Talking dirty always got her off. “Focus on the way my cock feels filling you, stretching you, driving into you so hard, so fast, so deep…” I prayed she would come soon because I didn’t know how much longer I could last. I’d been without her too long, and it had been years since I’d been so turned on.

“Oh God, I’m gonna come again.”

“Yes, that’s it,
angel.
” I guided her through it, giving her pressure where she needed it, letting her scale the peak before leading her back down. “You’re so beautiful.” I leaned in to kiss her. I didn’t know when I would get another chance to love her, if ever, and as aroused as I was, I wasn’t ready for it to end.

“That was amazing,” she whispered into the crook of my neck, kissing me as she wrapped her arms and legs around me. “I haven’t felt like this in… so long.”

My heart swelled. I had been convinced my years in prison and my bitterness of being wrongly accused made it impossible for me to feel what I was feeling—bliss in the arms of a woman. Since my release, sex had been meaningless, just satisfying a need. With Maura, it was what it had always been—a soul-deep connection.

When she tipped her head back to kiss me, locking eyes with me as she did, I fell a little deeper. I felt as if I was sinking in quicksand with no lifeline to hang on to, but still I kissed her. I slowed my pace to make love to her, revering her body in a way that satisfied my soul.

We kissed like that for ages, our bodies and mouths moving in perfect harmony until I felt another orgasm building inside her. I sensed it in her breathing, her rapid heartbeat, and the way her pussy clenched my cock. When I felt her squeeze me as the first tremors shook her, I let go, freefalling with her and trusting her to catch me. It had been a long time since I’d trusted anyone, but after everything, she still inspired that in me.

I laid still on top of her, careful to support my weight on my forearms as our breathing returned to normal. I kissed her cheek, then her hair. I didn’t want to let her go. I wanted to stay wrapped in this cocoon, satiated and enjoying the after-glow with this amazing woman. I feared as soon as reality set in, she’d be gone.

The nagging voice in my head reminded me I had business to tend to. The sex was supposed to be a way to earn her trust and get her talking. It had always worked in the past. My entire future was on the line. If I ever wanted to be the man I used to be or see my parents again, I had to find out what, if anything, she was hiding.

As she lay wrapped in my arms, my hand glided over her belly, and I felt her stiffen. I hated myself for making her revisit a time in her life she’d rather forget, but I had to know.

“How did you get these scars?” I asked, my finger gliding over the puckered skin.

She tried to wriggle out of my arms, but I held firm, kissing her neck until she sighed and settled into my embrace again.

“I didn’t want you to see those.”

“I didn’t see them,” I reminded her. “I felt them. And for the record, nothing could detract from your beauty, Maura.”

She rolled onto her back to look at me. “How did you know exactly what to say to make me feel better?”

I wanted to tell her that I’d always known what was in her heart. I’d seen her as the scared little girl who was afraid to disappoint her parents, the insecure teenager who’d used her body to try to get love, the goddess who was in touch with her desires and unafraid to ask for what she wanted. I knew the many facets of her personality still existed and she needed a man who could convince her he would be there to love her through the best and worst of times.

“I’m telling you the truth.” There were so many lies between us they were practically choking off my air supply, but I’d always admired the perfection of her beauty. That was the truth.

“Thank you for saying that.” A single tear slid down her cheek into her hairline. “I haven’t felt very beautiful since I got them.” She sniffled. “They’re faded now, but they’re still horrific to look at, at least in my mind.”

“Is that why you stay with him?” I asked, kissing her shoulder. “Because you believe he’s the only one who could love you in spite of your perceived flaws?”

Her sharp intake of breath told me I was right, and I wanted to tell her she was so wrong. She was easy to love, painfully so. If only she could see herself through my eyes, she’d know she deserved a love so much greater than the one she was settling for.

“He’s not, you know,” I said.

“Blaise, please. I don’t want to talk about him now.”

“Okay.” I sighed. I wanted her to open up to me about her relationship, if only so I could convince her she deserved more, but pressing her would be a mistake. “Would you like to tell me how you got the scars?”

“Why do you want to know so much about me?” she asked, lifting her gaze to mine. “I don’t have a lot of experience with one-night stands, but I don’t think they’re supposed to include pillow talk.”

I ran my finger down her cheek.
Oh angel, you’re not going to get rid of me that easily.
Instead, I said, “Humor me. I don’t feel like going to sleep just yet.”

“I was raped,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “It was a long time ago.”

I held my breath, afraid she would change her mind and retreat back into her shell.

“Someone I was dating.” Her shaky breath made her chest rise and fall. “Someone I trusted.”

My heart ached for what we’d lost. I wanted to tell her I’d never betrayed her trust, but I had to remain silent and take it all in.

“He…” She turned into my arms, curling her body into mine as she spoke into my chest. “Came after me after we got into a fight. He was wearing a ski mask. He threw me into the back of his van and drove me to a deserted area.”

I couldn’t remain silent another second. My stomach was quivering, my body practically vibrating with the effort it took to appear calm. “How do you know it was him if he was wearing a ski mask? Did you recognize his voice?” I knew her attacker had been whispering the entire time, but “Blaise” didn’t know that, so I had to ask the logical question.

“No, he whispered… this fierce, gravelly sound.” She shuddered, so I pressed a kiss to the crown of her head, encouraging her to continue. “But he said things to me, things only Matt could have known.”

I tensed at the sound of my name, but I hoped she didn’t sense it. “What kind of things?”

“He talked about the things I liked.” She cleared her throat. “I’d never done those things or used those… toys… with anyone but Matt.”

My heart raced, and I questioned whether I could get through the inquisition without giving myself away. How could her attacker have known those things?

“Some of the things were very specific,” she said, digging her nails into my back. “Too obscure for a stranger to guess.”

I thought back to her time on the witness stand. It finally made perfect sense why she thought I was her attacker. How could she not? Yet she hadn’t given the prosecutor the evidence that would have sealed my conviction. Why?

I racked my brain trying to remember who I’d ever talked to about our sex life. The guys I worked with were my close friends at the time. We’d gone out for beers all the time. They knew Maura. Many of them were into her. I was an ass to talk about what happened in our bedroom, but a part of me was proud that I was the one she’d chosen. The cocky, arrogant kid I’d been wanted to remind those guys she was mine.

One of them did it.
I hadn’t expected to close in on the truth so quickly. I’d believed she may know something that would point me in the right direction. That’s why I had to get close to her again—to get to the truth and clear my name—but now that I held her in my arms again, I had to admit my goals were so much bigger than that.

“Did you testify against him?” I asked, trying to figure out why she’d left out specific details in court.

“Yes.”

I felt her tears falling on my chest, and it killed me. I didn’t want to make her cry. I wanted to take her pain away, but I needed to know more. “Did you help put him away?”

She shrugged. “I guess so. I couldn’t tell them everything, though. I don’t know why. Maybe because my parents were there, or maybe because it was too humiliating.”

I frowned. I sensed she wasn’t telling me something. “Is that the real reason?”

She sobbed softly, burying herself into my chest. “He tried to kill me. He cut me, slit my throat, that’s how I got the scars. He left me in some deserted field to bleed to death.”

“Sssh, it’s okay, sweetheart,” I said, stroking her hair. “It’s over now. The guy who did that to you can’t hurt you anymore. You’re here with me. You’re safe now.” My gut clenched when I thought of how she would react if she knew the truth, that I was the man she’d deemed responsible for trying to kill her.

“Why did I try to protect him?” she cried. “What’s wrong with me?”

I tipped her face up. She looked devastated, as though she’d been waging this internal battle forever and was relieved to finally get it all out.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I couldn’t tell them everything when I testified against him. I told myself it was because I was ashamed of things I’d done with him, but that wasn’t it.”

“What was it then?”

“I think a part of me wanted to protect him. I hated him for what he did to me, but at the same time…” She shook her head as though she couldn’t bear to admit the truth even to herself.

“Tell me.”

“I still loved him.”

I closed my eyes, drawing her closer. I held her tight and never wanted to let go. She’d been feeling what I’d been feeling. She wanted to protect me as much as I wanted to protect her. Her heart knew I could never hurt her. Even though her mind told her it couldn’t have been anyone else, her heart knew the truth.

“I didn’t want to believe he could have done those things to me. I wanted to believe I was wrong, that it was someone else, and I couldn’t bear to put him behind bars if there was even the slimmest chance that I was wrong.” She planted her hands against my chest. “I’ve cursed myself for that decision plenty of times over the years.”

“You have?” Not what I wanted to hear.

“Especially now.” She drew a shaky breath. “He was released years ago, and he’s on the run. No one knows where he is, not even his parents.”

I felt sick, but I couldn’t let it show. I had to swallow my fear and let her believe everything was normal. “Are you afraid he’ll come after you again?”

“I was in the beginning, but I figure if he hasn’t by now, he’s not likely to.”

“You’re probably right. I’m sure you’re safe. If you let me, I’d like to be the one to ensure you’re safe.” I was asking for more than she was willing to give, but it was the least I could do. While I hadn’t committed the acts that had terrorized her, I’d given the bastard all the ammunition he needed to fuel his sick fantasies. “I could hire a driver for you, someone who’s trained in mixed martial arts. Someone who could protect you, you know, just in case.” I didn’t know who’d done this to her, but whoever did it was still out there. That meant she was still at risk. Who knew when or if he’d return to finish the job? It was unlikely, but I couldn’t rule out the possibility.

“Why would you want to do that?” she asked. “Why would you care what happens to me?”

How could I answer that without giving myself away? I kissed her. “Something special happened here tonight. That’s why I care.”

She sighed as she burrowed deeper under the duvet. “What happened between us tonight was a one-time deal, Blaise. You have to know that.”

“Why? Why does it have to be?”

“Because I have a life far away from here. I have to go home… to Jeff.”

I pinned her shoulders to the bed with my torso and kissed her passionately. I couldn’t tell her to tell him to fuck off, so I did the only thing I could—I tried to make her forget the world waited for her outside this room.

“Blaise,” she said, breaking the kiss as she pushed against my shoulders. “Tonight was… incredible, but I can’t see you again.”

Did I need to see her again? I had the answers I needed. I’d narrowed down the pool of suspects. I just had to hunt them down and make them talk. It should be easy to let her go since I’d accomplished my mission, but the thought of letting her go again hurt like hell.

Images of our last big fight filtered through my head. She’d screamed at me for being a jealous bastard, telling me she hated me and never wanted to see me again. If I’d refused to let her leave that night, we wouldn’t now be strangers caught in a cage of lies and deceit. She wouldn’t be claiming to love a man who didn’t deserve her while I lied about everything and pretended to feel nothing for a woman I feared I’d never stopped loving.

“He’s not the right man for you,” I said, grazing her cheek with my lips. “If he were, you wouldn’t be here with me now.”

“I acted impulsively tonight,” she said, shaking her head as she tried to wrestle free of my tight grasp. “This never should have happened.”

I clasped both of her wrists in one of my hands and pinned them above her head, taking control. I watched her eyes carefully, trying to read her emotions. So much had happened to her since the last time I’d dominated her. I couldn’t assume it would still turn her on.

“What are you doing?” she asked breathlessly.

“What you want me to do.” I kissed her neck as I plumped her tits with my free hand. “Taking away your option to run. You don’t want to run away from me. You loved the way I fucked you. You want more. Admit it.”

Her breathing was labored, her tits rising and falling with every breath. “How do you know?”

My free hand moved between her legs. As I eased two fingers inside her, I smirked. “You’re dripping wet. That’s how I know.”

“Fuck, Blaise, this is so wrong.” She pinched her eyes shut. “I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t want this so much.”