Breaking Free (13 page)

“At least stay and have breakfast with me then,” I said. “Let me help you celebrate your birthday, angel.”
Angel.
I’d called her that often when we were lovers, and when she looked at me with her brow furrowed, I feared she saw something in me, something she recognized and feared.

“Thanks for the offer, but I really shouldn’t. Tonight was beyond my expectations. You’ve already given me so much.” Skimming her lips across the stubble on my chin, she said, “In many ways, you’ve given me back my life. You’ve reminded me how great sex can be when I’m not afraid to let go. Thank you for that.”

Would she take that knowledge back to her relationship with the man she intended to marry? The thought turned my stomach. I kissed her forehead as the hot sting of regret filled my eyes. If life had dealt us a different hand, this would be
our
bed, and I would be her husband, the man hosting her birthday party tomorrow. “Thank you for trusting me enough to let go.”

“I’m tired,” she said, stifling a yawn behind her hand. “You wore me out. I should get back to my room.”

I traced her heart-shaped face. “I meant what I said about you doing a great job for us tonight. This event was important to me, to our company, and you made it memorable.”

“I appreciate you saying that.” Instead of pulling back the covers and crawling out of bed, she traced patterns on my chest. “How did you get into this business? I mean, your rise is kind of incredible. It happened so fast, like one day you guys weren’t on anyone’s radar, and the next year, it was the only thing sports fans could talk about.”

It may have seemed like an overnight success story to her, but in prison, I had been a man on a mission. I’d learned as much as I could about business, created a business plan that outlined our rise to success, and thought about the kind of partner I needed to realize my dream of bringing mixed martial arts fighting to the masses.

“I found Malcom,” I said quietly, thinking about how nervous I’d been when the business legend had finally granted me a meeting to pitch my idea. “He was the perfect partner. He knew how to make businesses successful, and he had the money to fund the venture. I knew mixed martial arts and how to find fighters who were hungry. Blend the two, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

“I had an opportunity to speak to Malcolm tonight. He’s a lovely man, not at all what I expected.”

“Yeah, Malcolm’s great. Meeting him changed my life.”

“I saw the two of you interact. You seem close.”

“He’s like a father to me.” I was surprised by how easy it was to share that with her, to be honest with her about my feelings.

“Does that mean you don’t have a relationship with your father?” she asked. “Or has your father passed on?”

Blaise Walsh was an orphan. It was the easiest explanation for why I didn’t have any family, but I couldn’t force that lie past my lips, so I decided to change the subject. “I’m kind of hungry. I was too busy watching you to eat. How about room service?”

She looked hurt by my dismissal. “Thanks for the offer, but I really should get back to my room.” She glanced at the digital clock on the bedside table and groaned. “God, I didn’t realize how late it was. My cell died earlier, and I didn’t have a chance to run upstairs and charge it. Jeff’s probably been trying to call. He’ll be worried by now.”

“He should be worried,” I said without thinking.

“Why?”

“Because you and I have something special. You don’t have that with him.” I was taking a hell of a risk, but I didn’t get where I was by playing it safe.

“How do you know that?”

“Because you wouldn’t be here if you did. If you were my fiancé, you wouldn’t be looking for other men to help you fill a void.” I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice, but it crept in despite my efforts. She deserved more than he could give her. She deserved to be happy. With me.

“Don’t blame Jeff for my indiscretions,” she said, sounding defensive. “He’s a good man. He loves me. What happened tonight should never have happened. I’ll have to find a way to live with the knowledge that I betrayed him.”

I wanted to tell her she was lying to herself, but that would only drive her further away, and I didn’t want her to leave on bad terms. “Are you going to tell him about what happened here tonight?” If she were my fiancée, I’d want to know—so I could hunt the guy down and force-feed him his teeth.

“I don’t know yet.” She sighed, looking miserable. “He’ll be devastated. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t know if I can pretend nothing happened.”

I wanted him to know. Maybe then he’d see how wrong they were for each other and let her go. “You don’t seem like the type of woman who could live with that kind of lie. You’ve never been unfaithful before, have you?”

She shook her head emphatically. “No. I never thought I would be.” She sat up, pulling her knees to her chest, and raked her hands through her hair.

I knew she’d never been unfaithful to me, though guys had been tripping over themselves to get close to her. That made me crazy. She made me crazy. “What happened between us tonight happened for a reason. Maybe there’s a message in there you need to pay attention to.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, looking at me over her shoulder.

“You don’t belong with him.”

“You don’t even know me.”

God, I hated when she said that. How could she be so oblivious to our connection? Couldn’t she see that I was the only one who really knew her, who’d taken the time to peel back her layers and find her truth? “Yes, I do. I know the real you, Maura. The one no one else gets to see.”

“How can you say that after one night?” she asked, sounding incredulous and a little scared. “We had great sex. End of story.” She threw her legs over the edge of the bed, her back to me.

I traced a finger down her spine, flinching when I saw the jagged scar at the base of her back. That must have been from the rock that stopped her descent. I reached for her wrist when she tried to stand. “We had great sex because you let me in. You trusted me. Tell me the truth, have you ever had great sex with him?” When she shook me off instead of responding, I smirked and said, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

I had to wake up early the next morning because I wanted to catch Maura before she left for the airport. I’d managed to bribe a hotel employee to find out which room she was in, promising him it would be our little secret. He was hesitant to tell me, but when I alluded to the fact we’d spent the night together and I wanted to surprise her with a gift before she left town, he agreed. Of course, the five hundred bucks I offered helped.

I’d also contacted the hotel manager to ask that the manager of the jewelry store in the lobby meet me there before breakfast. The store didn’t open for hours, but it was Maura’s birthday. I had to get her something to remind her how special I thought she was.

With the wrapped gift in hand, I made my way to her room. I was nervous. She’d been annoyed with me when she left my room, and I didn’t think I’d be well-received this morning, but I didn’t intend to let that stop me.

After I’d rapped on her door several times, she finally answered. Her hair was wet, and she was wearing a hotel bathrobe. “What are you doing here? I thought you were my assistant.”

“Happy Birthday, beautiful.”

Her eyes softened when she saw the carefully wrapped package in my hand. “Blaise, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to. May I come in?” I looked past her into the room. It was much smaller than my suite, with just a queen-sized bed, bathroom, and table for two tucked away in the corner. The bed definitely dominated the space, and my thoughts. I wondered if I could change her mind about leaving if I could lure her back to bed.

“Okay, but just for a minute. I have to finish getting ready. I have to leave for the airport soon.”

I looked for a room service tray, satisfied when I found none. “You haven’t eaten yet?”

“No, I was just going to grab a muffin on my way out,” she said, closing the door behind me.

“I thought that may be the case, so I ordered breakfast for us. It should be here soon.”

As if on cue, someone knocked at the door.

“Allow me,” I said, opening it for the uniformed gentleman pushing a service tray. “Please, come in.”

Maura’s eyes were drawn to the white roses on the lower shelf, three dozen in a crystal vase. I knew she couldn’t take them with her, but I wanted her to know I’d thought of them nonetheless.

The server set the roses on the small desk in the foyer before setting up the breakfast trays at the table beneath the window. He opened the champagne I’d ordered and poured it into two glasses with orange juice. “Will there be anything else, sir?”

“No, that’ll be all, thank you.” I peeled a twenty off the roll of cash in my pocket and handed it to him.

“Thank you, sir,” he said, his eyes lighting up. “Enjoy your breakfast.”

“You shouldn’t have done all this,” she said as I closed the door. “It’s too much. I—”

“You’re wrong.” I stepped toward her. “It’s not nearly enough, but it’s the best I could do on short notice.” I handed her the box. “Open it.”

Her hand trembled as she reached for it. “I really shouldn’t accept a gift from you.”

I knew she was thinking about how she would explain my gift to her fiancé. I smiled when I realized there was no logical way to explain it. My gift wasn’t the kind of thing most women would or could buy for themselves on a whim. “Yes, you should. Go on, open it. You know you’re dying to know what it is.”

She finally cracked, smiling as she tore off the gold paper. Taking a deep breath before she opened the long velvet box, she stared in disbelief at the diamond tennis bracelet nestled inside. “Oh my God, you didn’t. I can’t. This is too much.”

I took the box, extracted the bracelet, and clasped it around her wrist. “It looks perfect on you.” I kissed her palm as my eyes locked on hers.

Tears sprung to her eyes, and she tried to blink them back. “It’s hard enough for me to leave you—”

“Then don’t.”

“I can’t stay.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Blaise…” She turned from me, facing the window. “What happened last night was unbelievable. I never expected to meet someone like you.” She laughed and sobbed at the same time, covering her mouth.

I wrapped my arms around her from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder. “I never expected to meet someone like you either. Now that I have, I don’t want to let you go.”

“This is crazy,” she said, trying to break free of my grasp.

I held her tight. I wouldn’t let her run from me again. “What’s crazy is going back to a man who can’t give you what I can.”

She watched the sun reflect off her bracelet, creating a rainbow. “I don’t care about things. I never have.”

That much was true. Her parents had always tried to buy her compliance: a new car when she turned sixteen, a trip to Venezuela with her friends when she graduated from high school, diamond earrings the year I scrimped and saved to buy her a present I wouldn’t be embarrassed of.

“I’m not offering you things,” I said. “I’m offering myself.”

She turned in my arms, looking ravaged by the decision I was forcing her to make. “I can’t end a three-year relationship on a whim. I love Jeff. I’ve been building a life with him, making plans for our future. How can I possibly go home and tell him I’ve met someone else?”

“How can you not?” I knew the kind of woman she was. The guilt would torment her. “Can you live a lie?” That was an ironic question coming from me. “Can you make love to him and pretend—” I couldn’t finish that question. It was too painful to think of her with someone else.

“Don’t make this any harder than it already is. Please. This is already tearing me apart. I’ve never been in a situation like this, never had to make such an impossible choice.”

But she had. She’d had to choose between continuing to see me in secret and waging war with her parents. She chose the secret.

“Okay,” I said, sighing. I couldn’t convince her to change her mind in the span of a few minutes, and I didn’t want to waste our time together arguing. “At least have a nice breakfast with me before you leave.” I held out her chair when she hesitated. “Please, just indulge me.”

She tightened the sash on her robe before sitting and running a hand through her damp tresses. “I can’t even believe I’m letting you see me like this. I’m a mess.”

Sitting across from her, I paused before setting the napkin in my lap. “You’re gorgeous, and don’t you ever forget it.”

Maura seemed stunned by the vehemence of my claim. “When you say that, you really make me believe it. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt gorgeous.”

“Since before you were raped?”

She looked at the silver dish covering her plate. “Yes. It’s hard to feel beautiful when I have to look at those scars every day. I feel… damaged.”

My heart ached for her. The scars were barely noticeable, but I knew to her, they looked like dark, ugly scabs that would never heal. I reached for her hand. “Don’t you think it’s time you let the healing begin, sweetheart? Do you have anyone you can talk to about this?”

“I saw a therapist for a while, but I felt like we were just going in circles, so I stopped going.”

“Friends, family… your fiancé? Anyone?” I hated to think of her dealing with her pain all alone. Of course I wanted to be the one to help her heal, but if I couldn’t, I wanted to know someone was there to listen.

“It’s been years since this happened,” she said, looking frustrated. “I should be over it by now.”

“Honey, you don’t just ‘get over’ something like this,” I said gently. “It’s always with you, always a part of you. You carry the scars, emotional and physical, but you don’t have to let them define you. You can still be happy. Don’t let that son of a bitch win. Don’t let him rob you of the ability to be truly happy.”

“Do you think this is what I want?” she asked, withdrawing her hand from mine as a tear slid down her cheek. “I want to feel normal again. I want to forget this happened, but I don’t know how.”