Breaking Free (22 page)

“Mine, Derrick.” He met the other man’s gaze straight on. “ All it takes is one incident being reported by the MP’s, or something going through the court system, and it can haunt your career. Upper brass wants men who can stay cool under pressure.”

“Yeah, they want us to be bad-asses only when it’s convenient for them.” Bitterness laced the man’s voice, and pain flickered across his face. “I felt as though we were shadow boxing, LT. You could never tell who the enemy was. And what’s up with this bombing your own people shit? Why sacrifice a hundred of them just to get at two Americans?”

Hawk laid a hand on Derrick’s shoulder. “They want the U.S. Military gone, Derrick. Out of their country. And they’re willing to sacrifice whoever they have to, to see it happen. And as long as they’re threatening people, we can’t walk away. So we’re stuck in a cycle.” He shook his head. “The politicians’ reasons for us being there don’t mean shit. We’re there trying to protect the regular people on the street. That’s what we do, protect those too weak or defenseless to protect themselves. It’s what we’re about.” He looked the man in the face. “And that includes the people we love here at home.”

Derrick’s gaze dropped away.

Hawk drew a deep breath and chose his words with care.

“Marjorie seems to be supportive, Derrick.”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his hands over his head brushing his close- cropped blond hair up.

“Do you think seeing someone, talking things out, would help you deal?”

“I can’t, LT. If word get’s back to the brass it will do just as much damage to my career as a police report.”

“No, it won’t. Because it looks like you’re being responsible and dealing with the problem, not ignoring it. And besides that, you can see someone off post.”

“Like that’s going to happen without someone finding out about it. And what about your girlfriend?” Derrick’s eyes narrowed again.

“Zoe knows how to keep a confidence.”

“I’ve never known any female able to keep her mouth shut.”

Hawk couldn’t completely quash his anger. “Yeah, you have, Derrick.
Marjorie
. She didn’t say a word. It was the bruise
you
left behind that has me here talking to you,
not anything she said or did.
” He studied the other man’s expression carefully. “She’s not going to have trouble from you because of this talk, is she?”

“No.”

There was a sullen tone to Derrick’s voice. Hawk eyed him. The window of connection had closed, and the man was growing defensive. He’d have to back off and follow through again later. “While you think about it, if you feel like the pressure’s building and you need someone to talk to, you call me.”

“Sure.”

Derrick’s continued brevity, the tension in his body language, shouted a warning. “If I don’t get it together, you’ll turn it back on me.”

“That’s the trick, Strong Man. I won’t have to. You’ll get back what
you
put in. Like most things in life.” Hawk straightened away from the car and crammed his hands in his pockets.

“All right. I get it.”

At the dismissal in the man’s tone, Hawk eyed him. Should he push any harder, it might come back on Marjorie. Jesus! All the psychological training he’d received and he couldn’t figure out what to do. If he tried to use a threat to keep Derrick under control, it might push him into doing something regrettable. He’d gone as far as he could. For now.

“Stay icy, Strong Man ,” he said as he got into his car.

“Yeah.” Derrick nodded, his expression hard, unreadable.

As he pulled out of the parking lot, Hawk looked up into his rearview mirror. Derrick stood there watching him drive away, and something in the man’s body language had alarms going off in his head. He’d have to stay in close touch with him, and if he stepped over the line again, he’d have no choice but to call in the MP’s.

He’d have to report this to his commander and his own actions related to it. He couldn’t hold back that information, it could come back to bite him. But Jesus, the idea made him feel like a snitch. And on top of the lack of progress in finding out who had hurt Cutter, it would make for a delightful meeting with Lt. Commander Jackson.

Reaching over to the cell phone beside him, he flipped it open to check for calls and recognized his home number on the device several times. Zoe had obviously been trying to reach him. He pushed the button to return her calls.

“Where are you? Are you all right?” her voice came across the connection in a strident tone he had never heard before.

“I just left Derrick and I’m on my way back home to pick you up. What’s up?”

“Why didn’t you answer my calls?”

“I turned the ringer off while we were talking. What’s wrong?”

Silence hung over the line and he checked to see if the signal had broken.

“Hey, Zoe, talk to me.”

“I was worried when you didn’t answer. I thought maybe he’d hurt you. Damn it, Hawk--“

This time he knew the signal hadn’t died. She’d hung up.

CHAPTER 16

As Hawk came in the front door, Zoe bit back the words threatening to erupt. How could he have turned off his ringer? He knew how distrustful she was of Derrick. He was abusing his girlfriend. She was certain of it.

What if Brett had found out about Marjorie’s abuse and threatened to report it to Hawk? Or their commander? Derek could be discharged if he was arrested and the charges proven.

“Hey, you all right?” Hawk’s greeting, so carefully measured, triggered an urge to gnash her teeth at him. She stifled the desire to stomp her feet and scream at him. Why was it, by their very attitude, men were able to project the belief that an angry woman was an unstable one?

“No, I’m not all right.” She struggled to keep her voice at an even pitch though the emotion clogged her throat. “I was concerned that Derrick might do something to hurt you. And you turned your ringer off so I couldn’t check on you.”

He reached out to touch her arm, but she drew back. If he touched her, her anger would probably dissolve and she’d cry. Damn, she hated being such a girl.

Hawk’s brows fisted in a frown. “I didn’t want any interruptions. It was hard enough to talk to him without the phone going off.”

Okay, she understood that. But Derrick Armstrong was an unstable man. “He could have attacked you.”

“And what could you have done about it if he had, Zoe? You were here, and my having the phone on or off wouldn’t have changed your ability to do anything about it.”

Her heart drummed in her ears as her temper spiked. He sounded so damned rational. She fought the urge to shake him. Yeah, that could happen. “I tried to call you right after you left to talk you out of speaking to him. You didn’t answer then either.”

“I must have been in a dead spot. I’d have answered if I’d gotten the call.”

He was handling her. Arrogant ass---She narrowed her eyes.

Reaction settled in and she folded her arms against her to suppress the shakes. “I don’t trust him. I think he’s the one who attacked my brother. All I could think of was that, if he felt threatened, he’d do the same to you.”

“Well, he didn’t. We didn’t do the male bonding thing and punch fists, but he didn’t go psycho on me either. He’s pissed, but he realizes he either deals with this problem, or it’s going to blow his career out of the water. And as for him being responsible for Cutter’s injuries, it’s a possibility, but we haven’t got any firm proof. Until we do, my hands are tied, Zoe.”

She understood, but she didn’t want to be so in control right now. She’d been so afraid for him. If she experienced this strong a reaction over a confrontation between him and Derrick Armstrong, how would she deal with it when he shipped out again?

Tears burned her eyes, and she turned away, afraid he would read what she was feeling. God, how would she bear it?

“Are you going to let me hold you or are you going to stay mad?” he asked, his arms sliding around her from behind.

She wanted to jerk away from him and burrow into him all at the same time. His touch triggered such pain, and such comfort. She swallowed against the tearful surge that made her throat ache. “I was angry-afraid for you, Adam, not angry-angry. There’s a difference--in case you don’t know.”

“I know.” His voice sounded husky. His lips touched the back of her neck making her shiver. “You just called me Adam. Only my mom called me Adam after I went into the Navy. When she was mad or very serious about something she’d call me Adam Yazzie.”

“Well, I’m very serious, Adam Yazzie. I don’t want you counseling him again and trying to save his damn career. If he hurts Marjorie, he deserves to spend time in the brig.”

“Well, I can’t say I disagree.” He nuzzled her neck as his hand cupped the underside of her breast, his long fingers kneading it.

Instantly, an empty ache settled between her legs and she reached behind her to run her hand down his long thigh. The need to pull him in as close as he could get, to hold him tight and keep him safe, twisted inside her.

Turning to face him, she cupped his face between her hands and studied his features with a desperation she couldn’t quite suppress. “Tell me you’ll be careful.”

“I will, I promise.” His gray gaze remained steady on her face. “You don’t have to worry about me, Zoe. I can take care of myself.” He ran a hand down over her backside.

She stretched upward, looped her arms around his neck, and sank into him, aligning her body to his. His instant response made her heart accelerate.

“Zoe---”His husky whisper sounded like a groan.

She turned her lips to his, parted, eager, and tasted his response. Passion fired between them like wildfire, hot and intense.

Hawk’s hands ran under her blouse and caressed her back, molding her closer. “Appointment,” he murmured when they broke for breath.

“Screw it.” She dragged his mouth back to hers needing his kisses, his touch, his body inside hers.

Cupping her buttocks, he hiked her upward and she wrapped her legs around his waist. The hard thrust of his erection rubbed against her intimately with each step he took and she squirmed against it.

“Oh God, baby--” Hawk fell across the bed with her beneath him. His fingers clumsy with eagerness, he jerked her blouse up, peeled her bra upward, and his mouth hot and wet latched onto her nipple.

She cupped his head, holding him against her, then slid her hands down across his shoulders, her fingers kneading the muscles there as pleasure spiraled inside her, making her ache for more. She wanted him inside her, his weight pressing down on her, his muscles taut as their bodies worked toward completion together.

Zoe wiggled downward. She unbuckled his belt and unfastened his pants. Her palms cupped the curve of his buttocks as she shoved his pants and boxer briefs down. His erection sprang free and her fingers closed around him, pumped up and down once-twice.

“Zoe---”Hawk panted her name and pulled away to pull her pants down. She jerked one leg free and he came back to her, driving inside her with one quick thrust then rocked, pushing inside her as deep as he could get.

Her body tightened around him and she cried out as she climaxed, the intense sensation racing through her like an electric current leaving her fingers and toes tingling.

When her vision cleared, she caught the flash of his smile as he began moving inside her again in a gentler more leisurely rhythm. The feeling of pleasure began building inside her again. She pulled his shirt up and he wiggled free of it.

She nipped at his shoulder, smoothed the spot with her tongue, then sucked. He shuddered and his movements became rougher as his control slipped. She clung to him, driven by a need to be as close as possible, to feel him alive and safe inside her.

Tracing the straight line of his spine with her fingertips, his muscles flexed beneath her palms. She acknowledged his strength and his vulnerability and held him, opening her body, her heart to him. She pressed a feverish kiss to his collarbone and the furious beat of his pulse beat against her lips.

“Zoe---” Hawk’s deep voice sounded a hoarse plea as the heavy torrent of his release throbbed deep inside her. It set off another quick, sweet sweep of sensation, less intense, yet no less satisfying. It echoed through her for long, slow moments.

She cupped the back of his head as he rested his head in the bend of her neck, his breath hot and moist on her skin.

“Jesus! I forgot to use a condom again,” he said raising his head to look down at her.

She couldn’t lay the responsibility on him. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have been so---impatient.”

Hawk’s frown dissolved and he shook his head. “You know you drive me crazy, too.” He caressed her cheek. “If something comes of this, Zoe, you know you can depend on me to do the right thing.”

She studied his expression, so serious, so direct. Would she want him to do the right thing because she’d gotten pregnant? Would that be enough? No way!

“We’ll need to be more careful from now on. I’d prefer to have a choice, if, why, or when I get married. If you’re talking financial support and weekend visits--”

Hawk kissed her, hard. “I grew up without a dad and my kids aren’t going through that.” He withdrew from her and sat up.