Breaking Hearts (B-Boy #2) (11 page)

“Oh? Really?” I acted as if I hadn’t noticed.

He nodded. “She’s been my protégé for some time now and every time it looks like I’m teaching someone else…well, let’s just say she gets a bit of an attitude. It’s the reason why Vivian hardly comes back anymore. She basically scared her off into joining another crew.”

I lifted my eyebrows thinking of the “tough as nails” girl at the library. It was hard to imagine anyone remotely getting to her. “Do you think Gemma will be okay?”

“She has to remember I don’t belong to anybody.” He turned and shot me a melancholic smile.

I felt my heart plummet. Once again I was viciously reminded that he was married to the dance and there was no way he’d belong to me one day.

“You up for trying again?” his deep voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Um, no thanks. I’m good,” I practically whispered.

“Are you sure?” There definitely felt as if there was a deeper meaning to his words.

No, I’m not. I need to stop kidding myself. I’ll never land you.

I nodded my head sadly. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Chapter 18

“How’s your project doing?” David replaced the lens cap on his camera and sat back into his seat, stretching out his long legs in front of him. It was odd being the only two people in the photography lab, but given I was going to miss the next day’s class, I figured I might as well take advantage of free lab. Luckily, David agreed to keep me company.

“It’s going.” Though not as well as I intended. “How about yours?”

He rubbed the back of his head and laughed. “I hate to admit it, but for once in my life I’m sick of skating.”

“Skating?”

“Skateboarding,” he clarified. “My friends and I skate all the time, so I figured it would be the best thing to shoot. Didn’t know that making it homework would cause me to absolutely despise it. Seriously, I am getting so sick of staring at trucks and wheels.”

I had to laugh, despite not knowing what the hell he was talking about. “I guess I’m lucky that my project isn’t a hobby of mine. That would suck to get sick of something I loved doing; not that I would get away with taking pictures of me reading, but you know what I mean.”

“What’s yours on?”

I tapped my fingers across my desk and lifted my chin a bit higher. “Believe it or not, breakdancing.”

“Breakdancing?” he repeated. “That’s cool. What made you interested in all that?”

Only the hottest guy ever.

“Just thought it was…amazing.” I cringed once the word left my mouth, but thinking twice about it stifled a laugh. Oh boy, my word vomit would haunt me forever, I was sure of it.

“You know, I wish you told me you were into all that. I know someone who’s really good at breaking. He probably could have helped you out.”

“Really? Aw, well, it’s okay. I got a friend showing me the ropes.” And my friend was the best at it. I was sure whoever David had in mind couldn’t compare with Jacob.

“That’s good then,” he replied good-naturedly.

A lull fell over us as we tinkered with our cameras. From my periphery, I noticed David fidget around anxiously.

“You okay?” I asked with a frown. “You seem all out of sorts today.” A sly smile spread across my face. “Don’t worry, I don’t think we’re getting a sub anytime soon, Mr. Hot-For-Teacher.”

He smiled apprehensively and placed his camera on the table. “Um actually, that cause is long gone. I’m hot for someone else now actually.”

“Oh?” I murmured absently. As usual my mind had wandered back to Jacob, wondering what he did with his battle-free Saturdays.

David’s voice dropped a few octaves. “I wanted to ask you something. Sorry if this is a bit random.”

“Okay,” I murmured, still only half-listening.

He scratched his head and let out a soft laugh. “Might as well ask you now before I lose my nerve. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve tried to do this, but failed.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the lost look on his face. “What’s up, David?”

“Do you think…maybe we can hang out? Like outside of class? Get dinner or something?”

My mind went blank. The only thing I could think of were Anna’s teasing words: Friends can make the best lovers.

I rubbed at my throat and flinched. The only reason why my ‘relationship’ with David was so easy was because we didn’t have one! We were just friends—platonic, plain and simple. At least that’s what I thought we were.

David’s face fell. “I’ll take your silence as a no.”

Guilt constricted my heart as I eyed the crestfallen expression on David’s face. Knowing full well what rejection felt like, I waved my hands quickly in front of my face as if I were trying to brush away all the stale feelings floating between us. “No! It’s not like that!”

“So, it’s a yes?” he asked hopefully.

I shook my head. “David, I don’t want to ruin anything we have going here.”

“And what is that, exactly?”

“This.” I gestured between us. “We’re friends, and as pathetic as this makes me sound, it’s the only reason why I’m so comfortable hanging out with you. I don’t exactly do well interacting with the opposite sex, but you make it so easy.”

“Is that what I am to you? Just training wheels?”

The blood drained from my face. Had he heard me speaking to Anna?

“No, of course not. I’m just saying that you’re one of my only friends. I don’t want to jeopardize that. You mean a lot to me and I just can’t risk any bad blood between us.”

“Fine,” he said, sounding a bit glum.

The air felt heavy around us. Deep down I knew our friendship was probably ruined already, which saddened me to no end, but I couldn’t force feelings where there was none. With a gulp, I stammered, “A-are we g-good? Things aren’t going to be weird between us now…right?”

A beat went by before he replied, “Yeah, we’re good.”

If only I could have believed him. For the next half hour he sat quietly, avoiding my gaze, only speaking to me when absolutely necessary. Feeling a need to call the awkward night off, I began to pack my things without saying a word. In fact, I couldn’t get out of there quickly enough and practically sprinted out the door. If I had known saying no to save our friendship would actually destroy it, maybe I would have said yes all along.

When I was halfway out the door I skidded to a stop. What the hell was I doing? By running away I was just going to make things worse.

“David!” I called out, turning around. He was dragging his feet behind me as if he didn’t want to be anywhere near me. I hated to admit it, but it hurt a lot.

“Yeah?” he asked half-heartedly.

I shifted my weight. “Um, I won’t be here tomorrow.”

“Did I really make things that awkward for you that you’d want to miss class?” He let out a stale laugh.

“No.” I frowned. “I’m actually going to the All-Styles battle next week at State. I have to take some pictures for class.”

“Oh.”

“Um, do you mind getting together when I get back so you can show me what I missed?”

He looked up blankly. “I don’t appreciate a pity date.”

“It’s not a pity date.” Or any type of date for that matter. I sighed and shot him a weak smile. “We’re friends and I need my friend’s help to catch me up on class.”

His lips scrunched to the side but he nodded his head in agreement. “Okay, whatever. Call me when you’re back.”

“Thank you.” I swallowed and took a deep breath. “Not just for taking notes, but for everything. For being cool to me. You have no idea how much that means.”

He nodded once and quickly made his way past me. My insides clenched as I watched him jog away.

“There goes another friend,” I whispered under my breath. “Maybe it really is just me.”

Chapter 19

“He’s just sour because you rejected him. Don’t worry about it; he’ll come around.” Anna gripped the steering wheel, turning toward the freeway.

I watched the California canyons fly past and for some reason it gave me a sense of calm. At least I’d be away from Cal U for a bit and wouldn’t have to face David in class that day. Though I couldn’t say with the utmost confidence that it’d be easy to see him any other day.

I leaned back into my seat and blew a lock of hair from my face. “I guess you’re right. I just hate how he’s making things all weird between us.”

“He’ll get over it.” Anna drummed her fingers in tune to the music. It was something other than her usual punk, which I was most grateful for. “So, are you ready for this weekend?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I chomped onto my fingernails nervously. Jacob had invited Anna and I to crash in the hotel room he had rented for him and his friends—though there’d be at least seven of us squeezing in together in a tiny room, and just the thought of being in a hotel with Jacob did things to my body I’d never felt before.

“Mmhmm. Well, by the looks of your nail tips, you are more than ready,” she said with a laugh. “Seriously, are you bleeding yet?”

I lowered my hands sheepishly. “Shut up.”

“I thought you were ‘over’ your crush with Jacob.”

“I can still think he’s cute,” I argued.

She shrugged. “I still say you should go after that David guy. The fact that he doesn’t leave you chomping at your nails is a good sign.”

Is it though?

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just get to State safely, okay?”

“As you wish.”

***

State wasn’t as large of a campus as Cal U’s expansive layout was, but the school was still pretty hard to navigate. After a few wrong turns, Anna and I found ourselves wandering in between lush palm trees and stomping our way through newly paved walkways.

“Wow! This place is gorgeous!” I spun on my heels looking around in awe.

“Good to know their tuition money is going somewhere,” Anna grunted. “I feel like I’m going into debt for nothing.”

I grinned and continued to admire our surroundings, finally spotting a group of beanie topped students. “Hey! I think that’s where we’re supposed to go.”

“Yup, a bunch of clones who insist they’re individuals. Definitely where we need to go,” she replied flatly.

I grabbed onto her arm and pushed her forward. “Okay, emo chick. Let’s leave the judging for the real judges, okay?”

We pushed our way through the crowd and found ourselves inside of a huge gymnasium. When I say ‘huge’ I mean huge. I wouldn’t be surprised if the building had the capacity to hold an NBA game. It was so odd that such a small campus could hold such an expansive building, then again Anna did warn me that this school was known for their exceptional basketball team.

“Where do we sit?” I patted my camera. “I need a spot where I can see everyone.”

“Let’s sit on those bleachers over there.” Anna pointed toward a tower of wooden bleachers, which were quickly filling up. I let out a sigh of relief, knowing I wouldn’t have my eardrums blown out again.

As we meandered our way between people, I heard my name being shouted. “Estelle! Over here!” Followed by, “Yo, E! Are you ignoring me?”

“Oh, look. It’s your boy toy.” Anna giggled.

I elbowed her in the ribs. “Shut up!”

She smirked as Jacob came bounding our way with—surprise—Gemma trailing behind him.

“Glad you guys made it.” He reached out to give me a light hug, which instantly took my breath away. I know, the reaction he had on my body was pretty pathetic. Sue me.

As he pulled away he placed a lanyard around my neck, grinning widely. “Here you go, sunshine.”

“What’s this for?” I asked, yanking at the plastic sleeve.

“All photographers need a pass to get on the floor.” He winked. “Figured you’re an official photographer now, so I took the liberty of grabbing it for you.”

I was speechless. “Wow! This is awesome. Thanks!”

Gemma gazed at me curiously, but soon turned her attention to Anna. “How you holding up?”

“What do you mean?” Anna replied, frowning. She shot me a questioning look, but I merely shrugged in reply.

Gemma nodded toward the side. “Shawn’s here with a new girl. Just walked in a few minutes ago.”

“And I’m here with the pristine knowledge that I have done so much better.” Anna grinned and flipped through her phone. “Boo-yah! Check out this pic of my new man.”

“Oooh!” Gemma whistled in approval. “Nice.”

Jacob rolled his eyes and gently grabbed my elbow. “Since I’d rather not stare at another man’s abs, why don’t I help get you situated?”

I glanced over at Anna, who did nothing but fawn over her boyfriend’s stomach. “Is it okay with you?”

“Oh yeah,” she said, hardly hiding her giggles. “Go ahead.”

I pressed my lips together tightly and followed Jacob across the gym floor, dodging active cyphers. Jacob pressed his hand on my lower back, gently guiding me through the narrow spaces. I sucked in my breath, savoring the feeling of his fingertips against me.

“Are you ready? You think you’ll blow this out of the water?” he asked, jogging me back to reality.

“I’ll be blowing something.” It slipped out before I could stop myself and when I noticed the teasing look on Jacob’s face, I quickly changed the subject. “Whoa, this is really something.”

I gazed around at the sea of strangers around me. Most looked as if they were gearing up, ready for war. It was pretty intimidating, to say the least.

“Isn’t it great?” Jacob eyed the room in appreciation. His hand traveled up and squeezed my shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Just remember what I taught you.”

“Immerse myself into the music. Got it.”

He shook his head. “No, not that.”

I lifted an eyebrow in confusion. “What, then?”

“This battle is a big deal. It’s different than the one you attended at Cal U and even more different than the practices we have every week. Just know your place. Pick your spot and don’t get kicked in the face.”

“You never told me that!” I squeaked.

“Okay, but I’m telling you now.” He grinned down at me, but there was something off in the way he was smiling at me. He was smiling at me the way all the guys in high school did. He was smiling at me like I was his little sister and he was my proud big brother. “You’ll do great today. As your sensei, I release you out into the world.”

He threw his hands forward and laughed, but I wasn’t as amused.

I turned away before he could see the look of disappointment on my face. “Good luck today, but I’m sure you won’t need it.”

“Uh, same to you.” He definitely sensed something was wrong. Luckily, he knew better than to ask.

As soon as we parted ways I allowed myself to take a deep breath. What did I expect would happen between us? Maybe Anna was right. I should just settle and go for a guy like David. At least there’d be no broken hearts if I took that route.

Head in the game. Stop being such a lovesick puppy
. I took another breath and promised myself that just for one day, I’d ignore the way Jacob made me feel. Of course, it was a lost cause considering where I was, but hell, I’d try my best.

I walked across the gym floor slowly, snapping pictures along the way. It was interesting to find such diversity amongst the different cyphers in my path. Especially since it seemed that everyone knew each other some way or another.

Click.

A group made up of older looking individuals gathered together, laughing and joking around. There were about four males who looked as if they were in their early thirties and one who looked as old as forty! There was one female with them who looked to be in her thirties as well and was decked out in a beanie, track pants, and sneakers. She looked like an older version of Vivian. The whole crew was cracking up over something and looked as if they were having the time of their lives.

Click.

Tight-lipped, strong-browed, and tense. That’s how I’d describe the second group I wandered to. Unlike the first group, they looked to be my age and a bit high-strung. No smiles, laughter, or anything joyous emitted from the group. Nope. These guys looked ready for business and it showed.

Click.

The crowd began to grow restless and I was sure Joe noticed because he soon came bounding toward the center of the floor. As usual he wore his trademark military jacket, only this time it had a few extra patches on it.

“I wonder if he had to earn those things like a Girl Scout,” I joked to myself. Grinning, I took another picture of him as he addressed the crowd.

“Yo! Let’s get this thing started!” Joe’s big voice boomed across the room.

As the people made their way toward their seats, I walked toward the painted line on the floor opposite to where Joe was standing, joining the other photographers who looked a hell of lot more experienced than me. I shrugged off my unease and did my best to focus on Joe. I was a bit happy he was MC’ing the battle. At least I could count for sort of familiarity.

“So for all you newbies out there,” Joe snuck me a peek and winked, “let me make this clear for you. This is the All-Styles Battle! Things are bigger! Better! More insane than any other battles you schmucks have probably attended. Remember any style of dance is allowed, though to be honest, I’m not sure any tutus will be winning it this year.”

As the audience laughed along with him, I shifted uneasily. “What the hell am I doing? This is stupid. This is totally out of my element. I should just grab Anna and go home.”

Just as I was fighting the urge to stalk off the gym floor I felt a familiar warmth on my cheek and immediately turned my head. I scanned the crowd of faces and caught eyes with Jacob, who was watching me from the stands. He nodded his head encouragingly and in return I gave a weak attempt at a smile. I didn’t just owe it to myself to stay, but I owed it to him for helping me all these weeks.

“Well, there goes my easy escape,” I muttered.

“Before we get started, let’s introduce the judges.” Joe motioned toward the panel of three on his left, who included a few members of the older cypher I had seen earlier. “First up in line for the judges’ exhibition is the infamous Limbo! For those of you too young to remember him, this man has been smoking cats long before you even attempted your first toprock.”

Click.

I watched the tanned, fit man walk to the center of the floor and roll his neck. He flashed a blinding smile and just looked happy.

“Limbo, tell the crowd how long you’ve been dancing,” Joe urged.

“Twenty-one years,” Limbo replied, laughing.

My eyes widened in surprise. “Twenty-one years?” I whispered. “He can’t be more than thirty-three.”

How the hell do people just know what they’re good at and what they’re supposed to be doing with their lives? Here I am still flailing around with no real grasp of ‘self’ yet.

I shook my head and snapped a few photos of Limbo dancing. It amazed me to think this man had been breaking the same age I was still playing with dolls. I snuck a glance at Jacob and noticed him watching Limbo carefully. Even from where I sat I couldn’t help but spot the look of admiration and respect on Jacob’s face.

That was when the whole picture finally hit me. Breaking was more than a culture. Like Anna had been trying to tell me all along, breaking was life for these dancers. I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. Only this time the envy wasn’t for Jacob’s sake, but more so for my lack of passion. Would I ever find a niche?

Click.

After Limbo did his run he was followed by the other two judges, who each exhibited a different skill level than the younger crowd I was used to. It wasn’t as if they were better in that sense, but their energy level just seemed calm. It didn’t take me long to figure out that the reason the older breakers seemed more at ease was because they no longer had anything to prove. They’d paid their dues, but the younger breakers, including Jacob, still needed to pave their way to the top. It was a notion that became more painfully obvious the moment the battle began.

Click. Click. Click.

I couldn’t get enough pictures! The battle was raging and becoming more intense as the rounds dwindled down. Remembering Jacob’s lesson, I turned around and captured a few shots of the audience. It was a bit fun to listen to their excitement and cheers—especially when new competitors were announced.

“Next up, Puke and Kickwit!” Joe shouted into his microphone.

“OOOOHHHHHH!”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the audience reaction. I took a few photos of the crowd waving their arms in the air, whooping and hollering. Wondering how Anna was holding up, I scanned the crowd and spotted her sitting on the very top of the bleachers. Gripping a massive sized soda in hand, she threw angry glances toward Shawn and his new girlfriend, who were only sitting a few rows away.