Read Breaking Hearts (B-Boy #2) Online
Authors: S. Briones Lim
My fingers shook as I lifted my camera. What already started off nerve-racking just got worse. I felt everyone staring at me as I walked around their make-shift cypher, snapping photos of Rodriguez, who seemed as cool as a cucumber.
Get a grip on yourself, Estelle
.
Taking a deep breath, I knelt down and took a moment to observe the b-boy. Though watching him didn’t elicit the same effect on me as watching Jacob, it did make the whole process somewhat easier. I watched the way his arms flew through the air and admired the precise kicks of his legs. I noticed a look of anger on his face almost as if he was fighting some imaginary being, elbowing it in its imaginary face.
“Listen to the music,” I mumbled quietly.
I’d never taken music lessons of any kind before, but as I concentrated on the melody, I was able to count each beat. It didn’t hurt that my rapidly beating heart acted as a metronome of some sort.
No wonder Jacob loved this stuff. Your heart literally gets into it.
I opened my eyes and lifted my camera.
Snap. Snap. Snap. Snap.
My finger hit the button like a jackhammer pounding on asphalt. I was so lost in Rodriguez’s run that I almost didn’t realize he had finished until—
“Let me see what you got,” Jacob said, walking up to me.
I blinked and rose to my feet, handing him my camera. I watched as Jacob flew through my pictures and threw him a smirk. “By all means, don’t hold anything back. I know it’s hard for you to speak your thoughts.”
Whoa, where did that come from?
I smiled sheepishly as he replied, “Hey, an artist can’t grow without constructive criticism.”
“So I’ve heard,” I mused.
Jacob bit the inside of his cheek and glanced toward me. His eyes were partially hidden by his thick fringe of lashes. “Estelle, these are…”
I winced, waiting for him to finish.
“Better.”
“Better?” I asked incredulously.
He grinned knowingly. “Yeah. Better.”
I didn’t know how to feel. Though I was happy my photos weren’t horrible, I guess I was expecting a more enthused response. “Better? That’s it? That’s all you’re gonna give me?”
Handing my camera back he shrugged. “You definitely improved, but you can’t expect to become an expert after one try.”
“Yeah, I guess…” I muttered glumly.
Frowning at the look on my face, Jacob asked, “When is this project due?”
“In four weeks.” I sighed, rubbing my temples. “I’ll probably just drop the class.”
“Don’t do that. Quitters aren’t sexy, remember?” he said.
Hearing Jacob say the word ‘sexy’ caused my insides to churn and blood to rush to unspeakable places. My cheeks involuntarily reddened as the word ‘virgin’ flashed through my mind. Shaking it off, I cleared my throat. “I don’t want to turn something in that won’t do anything but embarrass me. Dropping the class seems like a noble thing to do.”
He bit at his upper lip and smiled. “I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you join us for our next few practices? You can snap a few more pictures and maybe there’ll be some good enough to turn in.”
“You sure?” I looked around the room. “I don’t want to intrude again.”
The other guys shook their heads, obviously not minding either way.
“It’ll be fun to have another girl around,” Gemma added.
“Aw, do you miss Vivian that much, Gemma?” Pharaoh said with a conspiratorial wink.
Gemma grimaced. “Are you kidding? I’m fucking glad Vivian stopped coming to these things. I hate that bitch. She stole my whole run!”
“Whoa, don’t hold back or anything,” Pharaoh replied with a snort.
“Yeah, be nice, Gemma,” Jacob chided. His eyes flew back in my direction. “Practices are held for that reason—practice. In your case, you’ll be practicing something other than dancing.”
He leaned forward, capturing my stare. As hard as I tried, I couldn't look away. I was entranced, captivated by the slight crinkles at the corners of his deep brown, soulful eyes. I only came back down to earth when Gemma walked up, linking her arm through his.
“What do you say?” she asked cheerfully. “See you next Tuesday?”
Dang, this girl really knew how to kill the vibe. I swallowed back the bitter pill in my mouth and nodded. “See you next Tuesday.”
The next few weeks became somewhat routine. I’d go to my regular classes—sans camera—then quickly rush over to the dance studio with my huge DSLR in hand. After a while, my initial apprehension was nothing but a distant memory. In fact, I had grown quite comfortable hanging out with the bunch and even considered them my friends. All the breakers were actually a great group of funny guys. Even Gemma had grown on me—well, maybe not fully. I really hated the fact that she hung onto Jacob like a little leech, but she was actually really sweet and easy to talk to. I guess that was worth something.
Then there was Mr. Spinja.
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t view him solely as a “friend.” I’m not saying my initial plan was unsuccessful. I mean, interacting with him was definitely much easier! We’d even tease and poke fun at each other during his photography “lessons.”
“Give me that camera,” Jacob would say. “I’ll show you how to do it.”
After a few pictures, I’d sneak a peek and burst into laughter. “You know it would help if you actually kept the subject in the frame. And what is that blur? Do you want me to fail?”
“I reserve the right to artistic expression. Maybe I like off-centered pictures and blurs.”
We’d snicker conspiratorially and continue with our pseudo-lesson plan. Gemma would always be just a few feet away, but she never showed any hints of malice or dislike toward me. I didn’t know why, but that rubbed me the wrong way. Not saying I wanted an enemy, but the fact she didn’t see me as any sort of a threat was somewhat of a downer. Was I not attractive enough? Was I not worthy to be deemed competition?
Probably not.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, routine. One would think routine would become boring and mundane, but it was anything but. I loved it. Always a creature of habit, my college life was going as perfectly as I would hope. In fact, as routines went, I also kept up with my Saturday classes. It helped that David had become a confidante and one of my best friends. As each class increased in difficulty, he was always there to lend a helping hand. It felt nice to meet someone so genuine and fun to be around. Especially since my friendship with Anna had hit a stalemate.
***
“Whoa, you’re still alive?” Anna was sprawled across her bed, smacking her gum loudly.
“Whoa, Lucas’ tongue isn’t down your throat?” I teased with a wink. I threw my bag against the wall and settled into my desk chair.
As if on cue, Lucas walked out of our bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips.
“Oh, my God!” I stumbled back onto my bed and shielded my eyes.
“Funny, that’s exactly what Anna was screaming a few minutes ago.” Lucas puckered his lips suggestively, eliciting a groan from me.
Anna let out a laugh, but I wasn’t feeling as amused. I crossed my arms and scowled in her direction. “Do you ever wonder why you don’t see me anymore? It’s because I feel like I’m being kicked out of my own room. You and Lucas are always getting busy in here, if you know what I mean. Have some decency and respect for a change.”
Lucas ran his hands through his sopping hair and shrugged, causing his towel to ride further down to his crotch. “Hey, I wouldn’t mind if you watch.”
“Ugh.” I turned back to where I had thrown my messenger bag and grabbed for it.
“Are you really leaving?” Anna asked in surprise. “You just got here.”
“What do you expect me to do? Stay here while Lucas swings his penis around?”
“You know you want to see it, baby.” Lucas stifled a laugh and spun around so he was facing the bathroom. He quickly undid his towel, holding it out so that it stretched out behind him. To my horror he began to swing his body back and forth creating a smacking noise with…um…well, you know.
“That’s fucking disgusting, dude. I’m leaving.” Being subject to a strip show was not how I wanted to spend my Thursday afternoon…unless it was from someone else…
Lucas spun back around, covering his bits, making sure to flash me an evil grin.
Anna’s gaze shot back and forth between us like a spectator at a tennis match. After a moment of silence, she threw her head back onto her pillow and groaned. “Fine, Estelle. You win. I can take a hint.”
“Seriously? You think that was a hint?” I snorted. “I hate how you two are commandeering my room. Spend a few bucks and get a cheap motel, why don’t you?”
Ignoring me, Anna looked at her boyfriend. “Lucas, go back into the bathroom and get changed. I wouldn’t want the first dick Estelle’s ever seen to be yours.”
Lucas whipped around with wide eyes. “You’re a virgin?”
“In all aspects of the word, yes she is,” Anna replied.
“I can answer for myself, thank you very much,” I interjected haughtily. “And I really don’t appreciate you spreading around my business.”
“Wow, you just became even more attractive to me,” Lucas joked.
“Hey! I’m standing right here,” Anna snapped. She rolled onto her side and pointed to the bathroom. “Change. Now!”
“Okay, okay.” Lucas held his hands palm side out and slowly stepped back into the steaming bathroom.
We waited until we heard the lock of the door before speaking again
“What’s the big idea?” Anna demanded.
“Me?” I gasped. “You’re the one airing out my dirty laundry.”
“Well, you’re the one making me feel guilty for having fun with my boyfriend.”
“In my room!”
“It’s my room too!” she shot back.
I couldn’t believe we had resorted to such grade school arguments. I leaned back against our bedroom door and took a deep breath to relax myself. After a few deep inhales and exhales I grunted, “Ugh, is this semester over yet? I can’t wait to move out.”
“You’re planning on moving out?” Anna’s face dropped.
I blinked in surprise. “Well, yeah. For one, we don’t even see each other anymore. What difference would it make to you if I got a new roommate next semester?”
The solemn look on her face quickly changed to anger. “I know we’ve only hung out a few times in the past month, but I didn’t think it would cause you to move out. I’m just now getting used to you. How will I handle someone new?”
“Wow.”
“Wow what?” she snapped.
I threw back my head and allowed a laugh to bubble inside my throat. “That’ll certainly get me to stay. So tell me, do people like doing favors for you or do you just tell them what to do all the time? Bet Lucas loves you bossing him around all the time.”
Anna’s thin lips parted in a shock gasp. “Oh my gosh, why didn’t I see this before?”
“See what?” I raised an eyebrow. Anna was crazy—like batshit crazy. How did I never see it before.
“You’re jealous of Lucas.” Her tone was a combination of pride, realization, and something else that I couldn’t quite put my finger on but it really pissed me off.
My jaw scraped the floor. “Are you shitting me?”
“It’s halfway through the semester and you still don’t have a boyfriend. You’re jealous that I have one and don’t get to do the whole single thing with you.”
I narrowed my eyes and felt my temper rising. “This has nothing to do with jealousy. In fact, I don’t give a shit if you spend every waking hour with Lucas. Just have some respect and don’t do it in my room, ’kay? Fuck, doesn’t he have his own place you two can hump in? I swear you two are like rabbits. Surprised you aren’t chafed yet.”
“He has four roommates,” she replied, as if it was the answer to all my turmoil.
“As opposed to your one.” I shook my head and huffed. “You’re seriously a piece of work, Anna. I really don’t know how we even assumed we could BFF it up.”
My roommate’s eyes grew intense and for a moment I could have sworn I heard flames crackling behind them. “Stop kidding yourself, Estelle. I know you’re lonely. I mean, who do you even hang out with anymore now that we hardly see each other? Bet your library card is on the verge of falling apart from overuse.”
“Because you would know where the library is, right? Surprised you have time to study after all that humping.” She shot me another furious look, which I ignored. I pushed my stringy bangs out of my eyes and shook my head. “I’ll have you know that I’ve been hanging out with Jacob and his friends. You were wrong about b-boys, by the way. They’re actually a whole lot nicer than someone like you.”
Her eyes widened in shock. “Wait, what? Are you serious? You actually hang out with them?”
Out of all the things she could have chosen to respond about. “And that’s a surprise because…?”
“Because you always embarrass yourself around him.”
Why couldn’t she just learn how to shut up? “Well, he’s a good friend now, Anna. Wish you knew what that word meant.”
Her eyes darkened. Once again I found myself thinking about medical insurance. Where was my card again?
Surprisingly, Anna’s mouth turned down into a sad frown. She took a deep breath and eyed me quietly.
“What?” I asked, feeling a bit uncomfortable.
“Okay, I get it. I know…I haven’t been that great of a friend. Especially with all that ‘I want a best friend’ crap I fed you at the beginning of the year.”
Completely taken by surprise by her easy surrender, I attempted to appear unaffected. “Well, yeah. I mean, do you even know what I’ve been up to the past few weeks?”
At that moment Lucas exited the bathroom and thankfully he was fully clothed. Anna’s face reflected an inner battle taking place in her mind. After a second or two, she ground out, “Hey, honey, I think I’m just going to hang out with Estelle this weekend, if that’s okay with you.”
“Whatever.” He shrugged carelessly.
Anna rolled her eyes and walked him to the door. After an awkwardly long goodbye kiss, she swung back around and marched to my bed. “So whatcha want to do this weekend? I’ll drive, seeing as you don’t have a car here.”
I crossed my arms tightly against my chest. “Since when were we hanging out?”
“Since I realized what a jerk I’ve been. So…where do you want to go?”
I shook my head in annoyance. “I’ll have you know I already have plans this weekend. Kinda pisses me off that you would think otherwise.”
“Fine,” she replied, holding up her hands apologetically. Her expression remained stoic as usual, but her voice lowered in embarrassment. “I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have…” She shook her head and smiled. “Can I join? Unless it’s a date?”
“It’s not,” I snapped, though I secretly wished it were. “I was actually going to go up to Cal State for the All-Styles battle. I need to take a few more pictures for my class and Jacob suggested it’d be a great place to get some shots.”
Anna started to laugh.
“What?” I demanded angrily. Anna was really testing my patience.
“Funny, because that’s exactly where I was going to suggest we go,” she said sheepishly.
I blinked in surprise. “Really?”
She shrugged. “Considering you hang out with Jacob all the time, I kind of figured you’d be heading over there. Wanted to tag along with ya…unless it’s a third-wheeling sort of thing.”
“Yeah right. Gemma’s always hanging around. If anything I’m the third wheel.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “What about that David guy? Is he still in the picture?”
“He was never in the picture like that. But yeah, he’s still my friend.”
“Friends are the best lovers,” she said with a wink.
I lifted one eyebrow and rolled my eyes.