Breaking Perfect (13 page)

A hoarse, “No,” was all he could say.

“Well,” Mase looked at him sadly. “Then I’m sorry for that.
I’m sorry for a lot of things.”

“Me too.”

The sound of the door being nudged open stifled any further
conversation on the topic as Liberty carried in a tray laden with three
Danishes and three cups of steaming coffee.

* * *
*

Later that evening, Sean had a life changing experience. He
learned what a Lava Cake was. Liberty told him any chocolate lover needed to be
well versed in the incredible healing powers of such a dessert and she hadn’t
lied.

The piping hot, cake-like brownie sat on top of cold vanilla
ice cream and was bathed in hot fudge and covered in crushed nuts. Upon tasting
such an orgasmic concoction the first words out of his mouth were, “Oh my God,
marry me. Come on, forget Mason, you and I can run away together and live on a
lava island and eat nothing but this for the rest of our lives.”

Liberty smiled adorably, her cheeks a deep shade of pink, and
Mase protested, “Hey, get your own wife.”

“Quiet, apple pie boy. Libby, go pack your stuff.” Sean ate
every last bite and was more than tempted to lick the bowl. By the time he was
finished he was falling into a chocolate coma. It was indeed a beautiful thing.

“Have you ever been married?” Liberty asked after dinner when
they settled into the living room to loaf and watch some TV.

“Uh, me? No. I don’t think I’m the marrying type.” He only
ever loved one person and in that case marriage was out of the question.

She tilted her head, causing her blond ringlets to bounce and
settle back into place. “Why’s that?”

“I guess I just have peculiar tastes. I’m very particular
about what I want. No one’s ever really suited me enough to make that type of
commitment.”

It wasn’t a lie as much as it was an omission of detail. He
avoided Mason’s stare. There were other forms of commitment aside from legal
marriage. With Mason, it had never been a matter of suiting, but various other
obstacles he could not see a way to overcome. And while Mason may not ever see
them as valid reasons to end a relationship, they had been as real and valid to
Sean as anything ever was or ever had been.

“I believe there’s someone perfect out there for everyone. I
mean if I could find Mason…I am sure you’ll someday find a woman who completes
you.”

Mason cleared his throat meaningfully. “Lib, don’t pressure
him. Not everyone wants a long-term partner in life.”

Thirteen years ago, Sean would have agreed with him. Now, he
wasn’t so sure. Lonely was a long road and he’d been on it for a while.

Liberty turned back to him and asked, “Do you date? Mason
works with some lovely women. And most of them are doctors, too.”

“Lib,” Mason warned, but Sean smiled, telling him it was all
right.

“I’ve dated. Even had some longer relationships. As easygoing
as I seem on the outside, I can be quite different when involved with someone
intimately. I don’t think I’m an easy person to please.”

“I don’t believe it. I can’t imagine you being anything but
easygoing.”

“You’d be surprised,” he muttered, again avoiding Mase’s
gaze.

A little later he headed off to bed and it wasn’t long before
he heard Mase and Liberty follow. Thankfully he fell asleep before he heard
anything else.

* * * *

“Have you asked Sean about staying for the next twelve days?”
Liberty asked as Mason removed his clothing and climbed into bed.

“No, but I will tomorrow. He seems to really like you.”

“I’m glad. I like him too. I get the feeling that he’s sad,
though. Do you get that feeling? I wonder if it’s because he just lost his
father.”

There was something peculiar about Sean. Sometimes she caught
such a desperate look of longing in his eyes she wanted to weep. She wondered
if he were simply mourning the loss of his father or if it was something more.

Mason rolled to his side and she faced him. The lights were
still on. He again didn’t hit the dimmer, but Liberty was only mildly bothered.
Her mind quietly reconciling itself with the lack of consequence that followed
last evening’s illuminated interlude. He reached over and twirled one of her
curls around his finger.

“I think Sean’s lost a great number of things in his life,
some things because of his own stupidity, and others due to no fault of his
own. He has a lot of regrets, but I doubt losing his father is one of them.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Mr. O’Malley was a mean old bastard. When Sean was younger
he used to beat him and his mother. Sean’s always feared one day he’d grow into
his father and that’s probably why he’s never allowed himself to get too close
to any woman.”

She shook her head. For as intimidating as Sean appeared, she
was certain he was nothing more than a gentle giant. “Do you think Sean is
capable of hurting a woman like that? I can’t imagine him doing that. He just
doesn’t strike me as someone capable of being cruel.”

“No, I don’t think he could hit a woman or a child, but I’m
not him. I do know that for Sean to get close with a partner they need to be
strong, otherwise he’ll avoid all possibility of intimacy.”

“He
is
a big guy,” Libby added, imagining his enormous
biceps.

Mason released her curls and trailed a finger over her
collarbone and down to the shallow valley between her breasts. “Liberty?”

She lowered her lashes. “Yes.”

“I want to talk to you about the way we’ve been recently,
intimacy wise, I mean. Do you feel like it’s improved our relationship?”

Greed had the ability to spoil many things that were near
perfection. She’d learned long ago that tolerance and temperance were sometimes
worth more than perfection. Benevolence was safe. She thought carefully about
how to answer Mason.

She momentarily saw herself as a teenage girl cowering at her
mother’s table, KarLyn’s cruel words cutting her down with the grace of a
hacking ax.

‘
You can be such a greedy brat, Liberty. It’s not enough
that you are an only child, doted on without the distraction of other siblings.
No, you’re not satisfied until you have everyone scrambling about, working to
right the ridiculous drama you create. Nobody likes a liar. That’s what you
are, you know, a little liar. I will not let your filth affect my happiness!
You should be ashamed of yourself. What have I done to deserve such a petulant,
dishonest child? What is this thirst in you to see your family so unhappy?
Greedy and spoiled rotten, that’s what you are. Now get away from me. I don’t
want to see you again until you’re ready to speak the truth. I’m done listening
to your lies.’

Liberty looked into Mason’s eyes.
“I’m very happy with
our marriage, Mason. I have no complaints.”

“I understand that, but even good things can be improved.
There is no denying that the last two times we’ve made love things have been a
little more…intense. I’m not sure what caused this, but it seems to me it’s
working for both of us. I need to know if I’m right. Do you like the way it’s
been?”

She blushed. Greed could so easily lead to destruction. Her
fears battled with her desires. Mason was not her mother. He loved her. She
gave the slightest nod and he smiled.

“Is that a yes?”

She smiled back at him shyly. “Do you like it?”

“Yes. I always enjoy being intimate with you, but recently…I
don’t know. Something’s changed. It’s like we’ve tapped into something that was
locked up before. I feel this incredible rush when you surrender to me and let
me have control.”

“You’ve always had the control, Mason. You know I don’t want
it in that department. As much as I come off like a control freak, I’m really
not. I know I’m sick. It controls me, not the other way around. But…you’re
stronger than it and with you, when you’re in control, I feel… better. What’s
inside of me isn’t my friend. It’s an intruder I wish would go away. You’re my
husband and I love you and trust you with every part of my life. I’ll gladly
give you control, because while I’m not strong enough to make it go away, you
are.”

“You’re stronger than you think, Libby. Just look how far
you’ve come since the night we met.”

She hated thinking about that night. True, it had brought her
to Mason, but it was an ugly memory and always made her feel dirty. She
couldn’t get it off. The filth that seeped from her pores that night clung to her
like tar and there was no removing it no matter how hard she tried. An
uncomfortable noise left her throat and Mason said, “Sorry. Don’t think about
it. Let’s get back to what I was saying. I’ve been thinking that whatever this
new energy is between us in the bedroom, I want to experiment with it, see how
far we can take it. What do you think about that?”

“What do you mean by how far?” She welcomed the excitement
his suggestions stirred inside of her, chasing the shadows of her past away.

“I mean, I have always sort of handled you with kid gloves.
In the beginning I think that was necessary and the only way for our
relationship to work in order to progress intimately and build on a foundation
of trust.
 
But I think we’ve moved past
that preliminary stage. We’re solid, Lib. We have great communication and are
always honest with each other. I have no doubt that our relationship can
sustain a little pressure. Is this something you’d like to experiment with?”

She thought about the last few times they made love.
Something had certainly changed between them. And Sunday, after Mason left for
work, was the first time in weeks she hadn’t secretly masturbated. Her moods
seemed all together lighter and that needy ache had subsided. It was still
there, but it was somewhat pacified. A heady satisfaction accompanied their
recent sessions of lovemaking that had been absent in all their past
encounters. She didn’t want to go back to the way things were, lights out,
gentle petting, tender kisses. She would still enjoy making slow love from time
to time, but right now her body craved something a little more intense and
slightly frightening yet safe, because it was with Mason.

“Would I be able to change my mind if I said yes?”

“Of course. You’ll always have a choice, even when you
surrender yourself to me. There will always be a place for you to catch your
breath. All you need to do is tell me you need to regroup and then we’ll stop
and discuss what’s happening. Worst case scenario, we go back to the way things
were. I have no complaints about how things were. I’m just wondering if they
could be better.”

She considered his words and then agreed.

A slow smile curled his lips. “Good. That pleases me, Libby.”

His praise was an aphrodisiac. Her belly tightened and her
pussy tingled. She really did love the way he affected her. Allowing him to be
the man, to be the head of the household in all matters, gave them each very
clear roles. She could trust Mason with everything and that was very freeing.
To him, her submission was a gift, but to her, him taking control of the things
she couldn’t, was an even bigger gift.

“Is there anything specific I can do?” she asked.

“Yes. Before we jump into this, let’s discuss some limits. I
want you to be completely clear on what I’m asking of you and I want you to be
honest with me if something makes you uncomfortable. I’m not saying I’ll
automatically take it off the table, but we’ll definitely take some time to
evaluate why something touches a nerve and then decide if it would be wiser to
move ahead or take a different course. Okay?”

She nodded and he continued, “I’m done making love to you
only on Fridays and Wednesday. You’re my wife and as my wife I want full access
to you. If I feel like fucking in the middle of a Thursday afternoon, then I
want to do just that. And from now on the lights will be on. I like watching
you when you’re at the peak of your pleasure. I feel like we connect on an
emotional level we were missing before when the lights were always off. I want
to be in control, Liberty. I know you say you’re okay with that, but I want you
to understand that when I say control I mean complete control.

“I decide how and where we make love and you’ll give me your
complete submission unless you feel it’s leading you into a bad place. At that
point you’ll tell me and we’ll take a minute to breathe like I said. I’m going
to push your limits, Libby. I had all intensions of fucking you in the kitchen
this morning and would have if Sean hadn’t walked in. There is no place in this
house or on your body that’s off limits. Can you handle that?”

Her mouth was completely dry and her pussy was sopping wet. Where
was this side of him coming from? Everything he said was intimidating and a
little frightening, but also erotic. As he listed each demand her anticipation
grew. Her heart raced as if she were on a roller coaster that just climbed up
the steep ramp to its starting point and she was waiting for that unpredictable
‘click’ just before it let go.

She swallowed and rasped, “I can handle that.”

He nodded, a pleased expression on his face. “There are
things we have never done, Libby, things that some women would find repulsive.
There’s no shame between us. I don’t want boundaries. I’ll tell you now and I
will remind you every chance I get. You’re a gorgeous woman and I enjoy looking
at you and seeing you as God intended you to be. Our bodies are our own and we
wouldn’t have been given the ability to do certain things if they were
completely wrong. I’ll never humiliate you or purposefully cause you harm, but
I will do my best to push down any unnecessary walls between us and take you to
a place where all you can do is feel how incredible sex can be.”

He cupped his palm along the side of her face and told her,
“You’re my wife and I love you. I’d give up everything for you and give my own
life to protect you from getting hurt. I need to know that you trust me to know
what’s safe and where your limits lie.”