Breaking Skin (15 page)

I sigh. “Sometimes keeping secrets hurts people more than telling them.”

“And sometimes telling hurts too.”

“Yes, sometimes it does.”

“Maybe if you apologize, Mom will forgive you.”

I smile sadly and wish it were that simple. “Maybe.”

By the time Langley finishes her cake and milk, she’s yawning. It’s been a long day.

We go through her bedtime routine, and when I close her bedroom door after telling her good night, I hear Siegfried jump down from the couch in the living room downstairs and walk over to the slider in the kitchen.

We haven’t been here long, and he’s already used to our routine of going out to the backyard once Langley is in bed. But tonight, I’m reluctant to go out there.

I know Cole’s family left. I heard them get into their cars a little while ago. But he may be outside, and I don’t want to see him again tonight. I picture Langley in tears at his dinner table, and I don’t know if I ever want to see him again.

S
iegfried won’t give up. He whines by the back door, scratching at it with his front paws. I have no choice. I have to let him outside for a little while.

When I push open the slider, I’m greeted by cool air and a harsh rhythmic sound echoing through the darkness.

Siegfried steps outside and looks in the direction of Cole’s house. I poke my head out and see a shadow move near the base of the big maple tree next door. It looks like Cole is swinging a hammer, working on the tree house in the dark.

“Stay in our yard,” I say quietly to Siegfried as if he can actually understand me, and he walks over to the far side of Renee’s yard to an area filled with low bushes that has become his favorite spot.

Squinting through the darkness, I step out onto the patio to get a better look. It’s odd that Cole is working on that tree house so late. How can he see what he’s doing?

No sooner do I think that than the noise stops and there’s a harsh grunt followed by the f-bomb. Cole bends over and cradles his hand to his chest. Before I even realize I’m moving, I’m halfway to him.

“Are you okay?”

He startles and whips around to face me.

I look at his hand and see dark liquid flow down his fingers and drip onto the grass. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine.” He straightens and curls his hand into a fist.

“Let me see.” I reach out to him, fully expecting Cole to step away and tell me to mind my own business.

He doesn’t. His fingers slowly uncurl and he holds his hand out. I lean in closer to get a better look.

“What happened?”

“I drove a nail through it.”

My eyes widen in the darkness. “You should go to the emergency room.”

He shakes his head.

“Cole . . .”

“I don’t need the emergency room.” He pulls his hand back, but I don’t miss the way he winces.

I study his stubborn expression and purse my lips. My hard feelings fade in the face of his pain. “At least come inside and let me look at it. Renee has a first aid kit in the kitchen.”

He glances back at his house. “I shouldn’t leave Derek alone.”

“You’ll only be next door. He’ll be fine.”

Cole hesitates, then nods and quietly follows when I turn for the house. Siegfried trots over and walks through the door ahead of us.

“Have a seat.”

I nod toward a kitchen chair and go in search for the first aid kit I spotted under the sink while I was looking through Renee’s things. I’m no expert, but I’ve patched up my own cuts and injuries, especially on my feet. Pointe shoes are not kind to dancers. I’ve taken a razor blade to my feet many times for bunions and corns, and once or twice I’ve cut too deeply. At least I know how to clean his wound so it won’t become infected.

When I locate the first aid kit, I turn to find Cole watching me so intently, it’s unsettling, like there’s going to be a test on me later.

He starts when he realizes I’m staring back and averts his gaze. “Christ, I’m sorry.”

I smile, thinking he’s apologizing for staring, but then I follow his gaze to the puddle of blood on the floor beneath his hand. Grabbing the paper towel, I rush over.

“It’s okay. Put this over it.” I pass him a clean cloth and use the paper towel to wipe the blood off the floor.

Cole reaches down and tries to use the cloth I gave him to help me clean.

“Let me. Please. You put pressure on the wound.” I wrap the cloth around his hand and he takes over, holding it in place when I go back to cleaning the floor.

After I’ve finished, I throw away the bloody paper towels and turn back to him.

“Come over to the sink. I’ll wash it off.”

He stands and does as I say. It makes me uneasy how agreeable he is and out of it he seems. Every time I ask him to do something, I expect him to refuse or ignore me. Instead he listens, but with half an ear, as if his attention is focused more inward than outward.

We both watch as he holds his hand beneath the running water and rivulets of red run down into the sink. As the blood washes from his skin, I see the deep gash on the side of his thumb. It looks like he took a chunk out near the tip. The exposed wound looks raw and painful.

I turn off the water and take the saline solution out of the first aid kit. I can feel Cole’s eyes on me as I work, but I don’t look up. If I did, I’d get too distracted. But I still note the way his chest rises and falls with each breath he takes, and I can smell the outdoors on him, earth and grass and fresh air.

After I’ve cleaned his wound, I take another fresh cloth from Renee’s laundry room and hand it to Cole. He wraps it around his hand and looks at me.

“Is Langley okay?”

His question surprises me, and so does the concern in his voice. “Yes. I think so.”

“I’m sorry, Nikki. I should have let it go. I never should have pushed you for answers like that.”

I tilt my head. “Why did you?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t know. I’ve been asking myself the same question.”

This is a very different Cole I’m seeing tonight, and I feel myself soften toward him even more as I bend to put away the first aid kit.

“I think I’m angry with you,” he blurts.

The kit nearly falls from my hand before I straighten again. Angry, yes. I’ve felt that all along.

“Why?” I ask.

He shifts his weight and glances out the window. “After our night together, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I only intended it to be one night, but that didn’t matter. I wanted to see you again, and I thought maybe you’d want to see me too. But when I went back to your apartment, you were gone. You’d moved. I asked your neighbors about you and I asked around at Blackburn’s, but no one seemed to know anything about you. You’d disappeared into thin air.”

His gaze drags over me.

“And now, out of the blue, here you are. By some crazy coincidence you’re Renee’s sister, except the sister she described is nothing like the girl I remember from that night.”

He thought about me? He looked for me? There’s a part of me that gets a small thrill from that knowledge, but another part realizes what he’s really saying.

“So, what? You feel duped? Disillusioned? Believe me, I understand the feeling.”

The skin around his mouth and eyes tightens.

“Were you divorced then?” I ask the question that’s been on my mind since I first saw him with Derek. It would have been rude to ask before now, but he opened the door to rudeness a few hours ago.

He releases a heavy breath. “No. Not yet. I got served with divorce papers that day.”

My eyes widen. “That day?”

“They were a long time coming.”

If he got served papers that day, I wonder what his mindset was that night. I wonder what his goal was in that bar.

Cole seems to read something in my expression. “My friends took me out to get my mind off it. I didn’t go there thinking I’d leave with anyone, not until I saw you.”

I swallow hard, wondering if I can believe him. It’s surprising how emotional I can still feel about one night that happened so long ago. What if I hadn’t moved? What if I’d been there when he came back?

His gaze focuses on me again. “Is what you told Langley about the tickets true? You sent them for every performance?”

I don’t owe him an explanation, but I find myself answering. “Yes.”

“Then Renee lied to Langley?”

“It looks that way,” I say softly.

Cole shakes his head with an odd expression on his face. “You rescued an old dog from an animal shelter. You brought your dancer friends down here to put on a show for Langley and her friends. Even though your sister tricked you into being here, you’re staying to take care of Langley instead of trying to get out of it. Renee wasn’t exactly honest about you either, was she?”

Some of the tension I’ve been holding inside releases, but not all of it. I wanted Cole to see me, the real me, and maybe he’s starting to, but there’s no satisfaction in it. It doesn’t erase tonight or all the days that came before it. It doesn’t change the way Renee feels about me or the things she said to him.

We’re both silent after that until I ask, “Why were you working on the tree house in the dark?”

“That damn tree house.” Cole sighs wearily, dismissively, but then his probing gaze meets mine.

I sense a debate going on. He wants to talk to me. I can see it in the way something eases in his expression. I want him to talk to me too. My whole body listens and waits, hungry for insight.

“I thought it would be a good way for Derek and me to spend time together,” he finally says. “I built one with my father, and I hoped he’d enjoy it the same way I did when I was a kid. But every time I suggest we work on it, he’d rather do anything else. Now that we might never get to finish it, there’s no use waiting around for him to take an interest. I needed to blow off some steam anyway, and I figured pounding nails might be good for that.”

I can hear his frustration in his voice “Why wouldn’t you get to finish it? If you explained to Derek—”

“That’s not what I meant,” he says. “When you pulled up this morning, that was Luke you saw leaving, my former teammate and former friend. He’s engaged to my ex-wife.”

“Oh.” My lips part in surprise.

Cole looks down at his injured hand. “They’re moving to Los Angeles and they want to take Derek with them. He just finished telling me when you and Siegfried walked over.”

Oh no. Now I understand the anguish I saw on his face this morning. “Can they do that?”

His jaw flexes and his cheek muscle tightens into a ball. “Not without one hell of a fight.”

I don’t know how divorce works or how custody is decided, but it doesn’t seem right that his ex-wife can move and take his son away from him. I imagine there would be no better way to hurt Cole than to take Derek away.

“I’m sorry. It’s obvious how much you care about Derek.”

His eyes become shuttered as his gaze finds mine again. “I should probably get home. Thank you for your help. After the way I’ve behaved, it was more than generous of you.”

He’s closing down, and I can’t help my disappointment. “I didn’t do anything.”

I almost don’t say this next part. It feels risky, but he shared something with me. He was honest and I want to be honest too. I want to break through the tension between us because there’s no good reason for it to be there, and I don’t want to let him go looking so downtrodden.

“I’ve thought about that night too, by the way.”

His eyes find mine again.

“I’ve thought about it a lot. It’s a good memory, Cole. Maybe we should trust our instincts and let it stay that way.”

His eyes search mine and his mouth quirks into a half smile. “Maybe we should.” Then he looks at me for a long moment before he takes a step toward the door.

“Take care of that finger. If the bleeding doesn’t stop, you should probably have someone other than a ballerina look at it.”

Cole laughs under his breath. “I don’t know. This ballerina did a fine job of making me feel better.”

My face warms with a smile as I watch Cole pet Siegfried on his way out.

“Good night, Nikki.”

“Good night.”

I wait, but he doesn’t leave right away. He lingers in the doorway like he wants to say more, but finally he slips outside into the darkness. As I watch him go, I wonder what he chose not to say.