Breaking Up Is Really, Really Hard to Do (11 page)

But her happiness was tempered with nervousness, and even fear. What would happen when he found out the truth? Would he embrace her? Would he be angry? Would he give in and realize she was meant for him—or would she lose him forever?

15

Admirer

To: mad4u

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY'S HOROSCOPE: VIRGO: You like to meddle, don't you? The stars tell me you're going to do it no matter what I say, so knock yourself out.

W
hy are you drawing Stephen's face on Sean's body?” Holly asked Mads. She had come up to the art room to hang out for a few minutes before she went home for the day. The Art Fair was only a week away and Mads was working on her project every afternoon.

“You think it looks like Stephen?” Mads said. “It's not supposed to.” She showed Holly the digital beefcake shot of Sean she'd chosen to work from. It was the Popeye, show-me-your-biceps one. Holly burst out laughing.

“You're going to draw him like that? He looks so—so—so—”

“What?” Mads said. “This one had the most interesting composition. The arms give it symmetry but the way he's turned toward the camera adds depth—”

“Who cares about that? What I'm saying is he looks like a cartoon character.”

“You think? I don't know. I don't like to judge the picture until it's finished/’ Mads said. “You never know how it's going to turn out in the end. But I
don't
want his face to look like Stephen's. That's weird.” She set the sketch aside. “I'll come back to that one. I think I'll work on you for a while.”

“I can't stay long,” Holly said. “I've got to go home and sob silently into my pillow.”

Mads put down her pastel crayon. She'd seen Rob arid Christie earlier that day, holding hands between classes. She wasn't about to tell Holly, though. Holly was a wreck. All she could think about and all she could talk about was Rob. How stupid she was to give him up. How she couldn't believe he found another girlfriend so fast. How she had to find a way to get him to forgive her and take her back, if it wasn't too late.

“Holly, you'll get him back,” Mads said. She didn't know what else to tell her. Why wouldn't Holly get Rob back, or anybody she wanted, for that matter? Holly was ten times prettier, smarter, and cooler than Christie. Mads didn't really know Christie, but it had to be true. “Or you'll get a new guy. A better guy. That was what you wanted in the first place, remember?”

“I know,” Holly said.

“And Rob is still wearing those dumb t-shirts,” Mads reminded her. “Today he was wearing one that said I
NSTANT
S
WIMMER
—J
UST
A
DD
W
ATER
.”

Holly smiled sadly. “That's so adorable.”

“That's not what you would have said a few days ago,” Mads said.

“Everything seems different now. How long did he wait until he found a new girlfriend? One day?” She paused to take a deep breath. “All right, I'm getting verklempt. I'll get out of here and let you work,” Holly said. “IM me when you get home.”

“Okay. See you later.”

Stephen walked in just as Holly was leaving. “Hi,” she said to him.

“Hi,” he said. “Going so soon?”

Going so soon?
That wasn't something Stephen would normally say. Maybe it was something he said when he had a crush on somebody.

“Got to let the genius do her thing,” Holly said. She left, and Stephen walked over to his work area. “Howdy, Mads,” he said. “How's it going?”

“Good,” she said. She studied the photo of Holly and compared it to what she'd drawn so far. Holly looked so beautiful in the photograph. If only Mads could capture that shiny-eyed, confident quality in her drawing, the portrait of Holly would be one of her best pieces.

She clipped her drawing to the easel and concentrated on Holly's eyes. She was so focused she didn't realize Stephen was watching until he said, “That's a great picture, Mads. Really beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Mads said.

He picked up the photo to compare with the drawing. ‘This photograph is beautiful too,” he said. “She almost looks Pre-Raphaelite, with all that golden hair.”

Pre-Raphaelite? Mads didn't ask. She assumed it was good.

He put the picture down and stared at the drawing some more. “That's going to be a breakthrough for you, Mads. I can tell. Look at the expression in her eyes. It's—it's lovely.”

Lovely? Mads watched Stephen's face. Was he talking about the portrait—or about Holly?

Look at the way he's staring at her picture,
Mads thought. She felt a little pinch of disappointment. Why didn't anyone ever look at
her
that way?

He's got a thing for Holly,
Mads thought. It was so obvious.

Hmm…
Maybe it was Mads’ turn to play matchmaker for a change. Holly was all twisted up over Rob. But Stephen was a great guy, too. Totally different from Rob, but a fine specimen in his own way. If she could get Holly to forget about Rob and see Stephen the way Mads saw him, she might feel better. And from the way he was drooling over Holly's picture, Mads guessed Stephen would be over the moon.

16

Showdown at the Swim Center

To: hollygolitely

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY'S HOROSCOPE: CAPRICORN: You're a tough cookie who doesn't crumble easily. This time, though, I don't like your chances.

W
hy so glum, my bodacious chum?” Sebastiano asked Holly when she bumped into him at her locker that afternoon. She'd been on a rampage all day, snarling and biting people's heads off if they so much as looked at her wrong. Even Lina and Mads were a little afraid of her. Holly appreciated that Sebastiano saw through her rage to the sadness below.

“You must have seen them around,” Holly said. “
I
can't seem to get away from them.”

“You mean Rob and that girl who clings to him like lint on cashmere?” Sebastiano said. “Come on, Holly. You can take her. She's no threat to the Great Boobmeister.”

“Oh yeah? Then why is Rob with her and not me?” Holly said. “All I did was tell him we shouldn't date anymore and I wanted to see other people.”

Sebastiano patted her shoulder. “There, there. I know it's not fair. But what are you standing here talking to me for? What you need is an all-out assault on the enemy. Don't hint or be subtle. Don't pussyfoot around. Just go right up to him and tell him you want him back. It hasn't been that long—he can't be too attached to the little leech yet. See what happens.”

It was blunt, it was simple, it was obvious. It might work. “All right, Sebastiano,” she said. “I'll try it this afternoon.”

“That's my girl. Who knows, by tonight he could be snuggling up with you again, getting on your nerves and driving you crazy just like the old days.” He closed his locker and zipped up his sleek gray sweater.

“Where are you off to?” Holly asked.

“My little sister's ballet recital. No one can accuse me of not supporting the arts. Good luck!”

“Thanks.” Holly went to the library to do some homework and wait out Rob's swim practice. Just before five she left for the Swim Center and staked out the door to the boys’ locker room. A few minutes later Rob came out, freshly showered, his messy, wet hair more teddy-bearish than ever.

“Hey.” He looked startled to see her. “What are you doing here?”

“Rob, can I talk to you for a minute?” Holly asked.

Rob glanced around. Holly wondered if Christie was supposed to meet him. “Uh, sure.”

She led him outside and they settled against a wall near the Swim Center entrance. She took a deep breath. Her instinct was to try to finesse this somehow, but she'd decided to take Sebastiano's advice and just go for it.

“Rob, I was wrong,” she said. “Breaking up with you was stupid. A stupid mistake. I must have been in a bad mood that day or something.”

“Bad mood, huh? Guess that happens,” Rob said.

“I know it's no excuse,” Holly said. “Listen, Rob, please. I'd like another chance. A chance to make it up to you and to be together again.”

She waited, watching his face carefully for signs of his feelings. It was a mobile face and usually very expressive and easy to read. But that afternoon he kept it stuck in neutral.

“What do you say?” she prompted after he hadn't answered her.

He looked her in the eye now. Ah, good sign. He still liked her, she could see it. And when she looked into his eyes she felt more than ever what a good person he was, how warm and sweet and thoughtful, how perfect for her.

Then he looked down. “No,” he said.

No? Did he just say no?

“What do you mean, no?” Holly said. How could he just stand there and say no to her?

“I mean, no, I don't want to get back together with you. I'm sorry.”

“But why? We were so good together! You have to admit that.”

“I know. But you're not the only one who had things to complain about, you know. I thought you were too critical and too picky. Why did you always have to make such a big deal about little things like what t-shirt I was wearing? All I did was try to be nice to you, and even
that
bugged you! You dumped me, Holly. And why? For the stupidest reasons I ever heard. If you can break up with me that easily, over such petty things, then I don't want to be with you. So I'm sorry, Holly, but the answer is no. I don't want you back. See you.”

He hoisted his backpack over his shoulder and walked away. Holly stared after him, speechless. In all the time she'd known him, which, she had to admit, wasn't all that long, he'd never spoken to her so firmly. Where did it come from?

Reality began to sink in. Holly was devastated. She dropped her head into her hands. She couldn't believe it. He didn't want her back! He just came right out and said so!

Rob was finally standing up for himself. What took him so long?

Thanks a lot, Sebastiano,
Holly thought.
Now I feel worse than ever.
Was there really no hope, no way to get him back?

Holly couldn't accept it. I
don't give up so easily,
Holly said to herself.
Christie Hubbard better look out. I'm going to get Rob back if it kills me. Or her. But more likely me.

17

At Home with Ramona

To: linaonme

From: your daily horoscope

HERE IS TODAY'S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: You will experience discomfort today—I mean more than usual.

A
nyone sitting here?” Ramona asked.

Lina shook her head. “Sit down.

Mads was busy in the art room every afternoon and Holly had gone to the pool to confront Rob, so Lina, not in the mood to go home yet, had ridden her bike to Vineland by herself. It was not like her to do that. But neither was sneaking into the city alone for a date. Maybe it was time to try new things, be a little bold, come out of her shell.

But when she got to the café, no one she knew was there. She ordered coffee and sat at a table alone, staring out the big picture window at the valley. She was happy to be interrupted by Ramona. Not exactly what you'd call
a friendly
face, but a familiar one at least.

“You must be in a good mood today,” Lina said, noting that Ramona had drawn a tiny pink flower in the middle of her forehead where her third eye should be. Normally she might have sported a few drops of fake blood, or perhaps a tiny skull and crossbones.

“Yeah, I guess I am,” Ramona said. “Dan has to stay late tomorrow to help us lay out the next issue of
Inchworm.
So I thought I'd make brownies for everyone tonight. You know, to make layout more fun. I was going to write ‘Thanks Dan’ in walnuts on the top.”

“Dan's allergic to walnuts.” Oops. Lina clapped her mouth shut. She shouldn't have said that. It just slipped out.

“What? How do you know that?” Ramona turned her intense black eyes on Lina and gave her the stare. The stare used to scare Lina, but not anymore. Well, maybe a little.

Lina shrugged and tried to act casual. “I think he said something about it in class once.”

“No, he didn't,” Ramona said. “I write down every word that man says in class, and he never once said he was allergic to walnuts. Unless I was out sick that day. In which case Chandra or Siobhan would have filled me in immediately. You know I live for every scrap of personal detail I can get about Dan.”

Yes, Lina knew. She tried to steady herself under the force field of the stare. She felt herself starting to shake.

“I would like an answer to my question, Ozu,” Ramona said. “How do you know that Dan is allergic to walnuts if he never said it in class?”

“He must have mentioned it some other time, then,” Lina said. “Maybe he wrote it on one of my papers. How am I supposed to remember a little thing like that?” She tried to laugh it off, as if it were the silliest thing in the world. But Ramona didn't fall for it.

“You know as well as I do that when it comes to Dan trivia your mind is like a steel trap,” Ramona said. “Inside your brain are files documenting every significant fact about Dan, where it came from and when you learned it. You're hiding something from me and I want to know what it is NOW.”

Lina was pressed against the back of her chair as Ramona leaned forward, her eyes burrowing into Lina's as if she could dig out the truth that way.

“Tell me, Lina. What's going on? It's something big, isn't it? You wouldn't be so reluctant to share if it wasn't something HUGE.”

Lina realized she hadn't breathed in several minutes. She would never, ever, ever tell Ramona, or anyone, about her plan to meet Dan. But to protect that secret, she was going to have to throw Ramona a bone. And the bone itself was so big and juicy that Lina knew it would satisfy her.

“All right,” Lina said. “I'll tell you. But you can't tell anyone else. Not even the Cult. Do you swear?”

“I swear.” Ramona spit in her palm, rubbed her index finger in the saliva, and offered it to Lina. “Do you want to do a spit-swapping ceremony? Spit on your finger and rub it on mine.”

“That won't be necessary.” Lina curled her fingers into her palms just to be safe. “Now promise.”