Breath of Scandal (52 page)

Breath of Scandal

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"Yes. 11

"When an accident like that happens, Dillon, isn't it human nature for us to search for an explanation? And isn't it also customary that-because we have to blame something-we blame ourselves?"

"But I made a science of it. It started when my folks got killed. I remember worrying myself sick over what I had done to get God so pissed off at me. That was before child counselors knew to tell kids that when things go wrong, it isn't their fault. "

He turned up one of his palms and examined the calluses at the base of his fingers. "If you start thinking that way when you're a kid, it carries over into adolescence and adulthood. I was constantly juggling to keep good deeds in balance with mistakes so I wouldn't get out of favor with fate - If I did something wrong, I waited for the hammer to fall. "

He turned his head, giving her his profile. "When Debra and Charlie died, I figured I'd fucked up real bad. " He laughed self-deprecatingly. "It's the height of conceit to believe that you control other people's destinies, isn't it?

"But for all these years I've taken the blame for their deaths. I figured it was retribution for something I had done or had failed to do."

Jade crossed the veranda to stand near him at the railing, but she didn't interrupt. He shook his head with chagrin. "The bottom line is that shit happens, just like the bumper sticker says. Shit happens. Tragedies befall good people. Fortune smiles on pond scum." His eyes connected with hers. "I can't tell you how good if feels to be out from under that burden of guilt."

"Debra and Charlie were victims of misfortune, Dillon. And so were you."

"Thanks for helping me to see that. " He raised his hands to either side of her head, letting her adjust to the idea that he was about to touch her. Then the backs of his fingers swept dark tendrils of hair away from her cheeks. "You're beautiful, Jade. "

She became very still and quiet on the inside. Because

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she  wasn't experiencing the clamorous alarm she usually did  when a man touched her, she didn't want to do anything-not even blink, swallow, or breathe-that would set off her clanging terror.

Instead of concentrating on herself and her reactions, she tried directing all her attention to Dillon. What did he see when he looked at her with those intense gray-green eyes? Did her hair feel silky against his fingertips? Was he subject to the same breathless anticipation as she?

Anticipation for what? she wondered.

It was a jarringly disruptive thought, so   she impatiently shoved it aside. She would take this one heartbeat at a time, and, for right now, she didn't want anything disturbed.

He extended his right arm at shoulder level, bracing himself against the support column behind her. Trapped between it and him, she felt a flurry of panic. When he spoke her name, however, his deep, calm voice was reassuring. "Jade?"

"Hmm?" "I'm about to do something you've told me repeatedly not to do."

Her stomach rose and fell weightlessly. She felt his breath, wann and dewy, on her face. She kept her eyes open for as long as she could, before they closed involuntarily. His mustache tickled her upper lip. He flicked the center of her lips with the very tip of his tongue, so lightly that, at first, she thought she had imagined it.

"I'm going to taste you now, Jade."

Tilting his head, he aligned his lips with hers. Shockingly, her lips parted receptively. He made a low, wanting sound and pressed his tongue into her mouth. He applied a safe and nonaggressive amount of pressure to her lips and a delicious suction to her mouth. His tongue moved inside it, but it didn't feel invasive.

The dark heat of the night descended over her along with the deep mystery of his kiss. Feeling lightheaded, she reflexively reached for support. Her hand curled around his arm, which was still supporting him against the column.

He sighed her name and relaxed his elbow, which brought him close enough for their clothes to touch.

Tentatively, he placed his other hand at her waist. His lips nuzzled and nibbled hers. He brushed them with his mustache. He gently drew her lower lip between his teeth. He ducked his head and kissed her neck.

She gave a little gasp. "I'm afraid." "Of me?"

"Of this." "Don't be."

Jade closed her eyes and tried not to think.

Dillon waited. "Is it all right?" He raised his head and looked into her face. "Jade?"

She flatted her hand on her quickening chest. "I can't breathe."

One comer of his mustache tilted up. "Is that a good sign or a bad one?"

"I'm not sure."

"I'll take it as a good one." "Okay. "

"Relax." He eased her back until she came up against the column. "Breathe deep."

Like a child, she did as she was told. Eyes closed, she drew in calming drafts of air. When she opened her eyes, Dillon's face was bending close to hers, and she became breathless all over again. "I feel so foolish.-

"You shouldn't. You've got a woman's worst nightmare to overcome. "

"I want to overcome it." ne words tumbled out, "I really want to, Dillon."

"Good. That's good," he said thickly. "We'll work on it. What I have in mind is a long weekend spent alone together. No strings. No expectations. Just isolation from everything familiar so we can relax. What do you say?" "No.-

He dropped his hands and stepped away from her. His expression was a mix of anger and frustration. "Then I can't go on kissing you, Jade. Because sooner or later I'm

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going to lose my head. My cock will start doing my thinking for me, and I'll end up making you afraid of me. I won't have that."

He turned away from her and jogged down the steps. She caught up with him before he reached his pickup. "Dillon, you don't understand."

"I do. I swear I do. It's just        He raked his hand through his hair. "Christ, I can't take anymore."

She grabbed his sleeve. "No. I mean, you don't understand what I was trying to tell you. I don't want to wait for a long weekend. I want to try tonight." Nervously wetting her lips, she looked up at him imploringly. "Now, Dillon.

CHAPTER

Twenty-Eight

"Where are we going?" Jade asked. "I mean, I know where we're going, but why?"

"Wait and see."

The headlights illuminated the tunnel of trees that eventually came to a dead end at the plantation house Jade had recently purchased for GSS. Except for the deepest shadows beneath heavy foliage, the yard was bathed with moonlight. The house looked white and stately, faring better than it did in harsh daylight.

Dillon smiled secretively as he took a flashlight out of the glove box. "Come on. It's all right. The owner is a personal friend of mine."

Together they made their way across the deep yard and up the front steps. The ancient planks creaked beneath his weight. "I need to fix those before somebody gets hurt," he remarked as he fished a key out of his jeans pocket.

"Where did you get a key?"

"If you don't stop asking questions, you'll spoil the surprise. "

"What surprise?"

"That's another question."

The musty smell peculiar to vacant houses greeted them as he pushed open the front door and ushered Jade into the wide vestibule. He switched on the flashlight and swept it across the Italian tile floor.

"This is quite a showplace."

Jade hugged her elbows. "I like it much better in the daytime. This is spooky."

She was confused and vaguely disappointed. When they had left her house, she had assumed he would take her directly to his trailer. Staying at her house had been out of the question. Even if they could sneak him past Cathy and Graham, she would feel awkward, knowing that they were in nearby rooms. She didn't need anything contributing to her inhibitions tonight.

Given time to think about this, she might lose her nerve. This rambling old house, which had stood empty for years, was hardly putting her at ease. She was also a trifle miffed over the delay. Was his ardor that easily cooled?

"Take my hand and watch your step."

She gave him her hand. He started upstairs, surprising her by avoiding the steps that were damaged and could have been hazardous. "You've been here before?"

"Uh-huh. " "Without me?" "Uh-huh." "When?" "Careful, there's an exposed rusty nail."

When they reached the landing, Dillon turned right, sweeping the hallway with the flashlight. The doors to all the rooms stood open, except one at the end of the hall. It was to that door that Dillon led her. He looked at her expectantly before turning the porcelain knob and swinging the door open.

Jade crossed the threshold and stepped into the room.

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Unlike the rest of the house, this room had been cleaned. There were no cobwebs in the comers of the tall ceiling or clinging to the crystal teardrops of the overhead chandelier. The finish on the hardwood floor was dull, but it had been swept free of dust and debris.

There was one piece of furniture in the room-a brass bed. Jade had admired it during her first visit to the house, although it had appeared hopelessly tarnished. Now, it shone in the beam of Dillon's flashlight. In the Victorian style, the tall headboard was elaborate with swirls and curls. Pillows in fresh white linens were piled against it. There were fresh sheets and a comforter covering the mattress. Mosquito netting had been suspended from the ceiling to drape the bed.

Dumbfounded, Jade stood gazing at it all while Dillon moved to the marble fireplace and lit the candles that had been arranged on the hearth. Then he went around the room lighting dozens of other candles, until the pale moir6 walls shimmered in the soft light and the brass bed beneath the gauze gleamed incandescently. When the last candle had been lit, he blew out the match and tossed it into the fireplace, then turned to face Jade. He looked sheepish and apprehensive.

"Well, what do you think?"

She raised her hands at her sides and opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out.

"I don't have a lot to do most nights," he said. "Ever since you swung the deal on this house, I've been coming here after hours, doing odd jobs.

He directed an uneasy glance toward the bed. "It might seem presumptuous, I know. But I knew how much you liked this place. So I thought that if you ever . . . that if we . . . Hell. " He ran his hand around the back of his neck and shoved the other one into the waistband of his jeans.

"Look, I couldn't take you to that damned trailer, okay? That's about the least romantic setting imaginable and . . . and I thought you needed, deserved, to be romanced.- He muttered a string of curses. "I sound like a jerk, right? Well, I feel like a goddamn fool. The most romantic thing

I've done for any woman, since Debra died, is ask her her name first." He blew out a breath of pure disgust. "This probably wasn't a good idea after all. You can back out if you want to. "

Mutely Jade shook her head.

"I won't he mad, I swear," he said. "Say you want to call it quits, and we'll call it quits."

She approached him. "I'm beginning to think you're the one who's scared, Dillon."

"I am. I'm scared you might back out." Gruffly he added, "I don't want you to.   11

"I'll probably be a miserable flop."

Candlelight was reflected in his intense stare. "That's not possible."

Self-consciously, she averted her gaze to the bed. "The room is lovely. Really. It was a thoughtful-and romanticgesture. "

"Thanks. She brought her head back around and smiled shyly. "I'm glad it's going to be with you, Dillon."

He reached for her hand and clasped it. His thumb followed the bumpy ridge of her knuckles. "So am 1. But why is it me?"

Her lashes swept down to obscure her eyes. "I'm still not sure I can go through with it, but . . . you're the first man that ever made me wish I could. For the first time, I think it's worth taking the risk."

Raising her hand to his lips, he kissed the back of it. "At any point along the way, all you have to say is stop, and I'll stop. I'll probably curse. I might even cry," he said with a half-smile. "But I'll stop."

She didn't want him to stop what he was doing with her hand. He held it against his lips as he spoke, his breath leaving moist patches on her skin. He turned it slightly and, as he opened her fingers, sank his teeth into the plump base of her thumb.

Closing his eyes, he kissed the center of her palm, burying his mouth in the heart of it. His lips were warm and earnest, his tongue playful and erotic. He guided her index finger

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up to his mustache. He explored it from one curving end to the other with her fingertip, riding the rim of his upper lip.

Lightly, he scraped his teeth against her index finger. It tickled-on her finger and in her lower belly. He took turns with each of her fingers, nibbling the flesh, stroking the skin with his tongue.

Jade derived almost as much pleasure watching him as she did from feeling what he was doing. Candlelight picked up the lighter strands of his hair. Dark, stubby eyelashes lay against his cheekbones, which were faintly traced with squint lines. His mouth, with his fuller lower lip beneath the wide mustache, looked unmitigatedly sexy. Looking at it made her tummy feel like a cat, stretching with animalistic pleasure after a long sleep.

He kissed the inside of her wrist, then worked his way up to the bend of her elbow. She felt the damp sweep of his tongue and the slick surface of his teeth as he drew her skin against them. The side of his head bumped against her breast, and Jade feared the dreaded panic had returned. But slowly, from the center of her breast, her body told her this was good and right.

"They're supposed to get hard."

She didn't realize she had breathed the words aloud until Dillon's head came up. "What?"

"Nothing - "

"What did you say?"

"I said . . . said that they're supposed to get hard." "What are?"