Breathless (15 page)

“
I want to show you something,” he said taking my small hand in his. “Promise you won’t laugh.”

At that moment, he opened the door to a tiny closet and reached up above his head to remove a square of wood from the ceiling. He proceeded to pull a small ladder down and instructed me to make my way up into the dark space above our heads. Now, I understood what Mina meant by upstairs. Up ladder was more like it. I looked at Chaseyn warily, and he took the lead instead, pulling the chain on a bright lamp as he neared the top rung.

Inside the attic, Chaseyn had created a magical space to express his own creativity. A large window opened to a small balcony that overlooked the lake, but it was not nearly the most prominent feature in the room. Canvas squares littered the floors and walls, stacked one on top of the other in neat rows. Tube after tube of colorful oils and tubs of brushes—of all shapes and sizes—lay on a small wooden table next to a tall easel.

“
They’re beautiful,” I whispered, taking a seat on the paint-stained floor next to a row of vibrant images that perfectly recreated the natural phenomenon just outside the clear panes. Leafing through, I took in every aspect of the incredible images before me. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re an artist. These are amazing.”

“
They’re nothing,” he said shyly. “Just something I do from time to time. I didn’t do anything new for a long time.”

“
Why not,” I asked with genuine curiosity.

“
I wasn’t inspired,” he shrugged.

“
And now?”

Chaseyn bent down so his eyes met mine. He tilted my head upward gently with his left hand and brushed his lips against mine.

“
And now, I’ve found new inspiration.”

I blushed.

“
Let me show you,” he said, pulling me to my feet. The room was crowded and small; it only took three steps for us to cross the floor. Chaseyn paused for a moment, and then removed a velvet panel that had been covering an easel. A perfect likeness of me was painted with extreme precision on the colorful canvas. My body stiffened, and when I tried to speak, my voice was weak.

“
I understand that you’re upset. I should have told you about it before—asked permission.”

I shook my head and worked to clear my throat. Tears rushed to my eyes, and I bowed my head to hide my emotions.

“
I’m not upset. I’m speechless,” I finally managed to spill out.

He started to cover it back up, but I grabbed his hands before he could finish. If I couldn’t say what I was feeling, at least I could show him. I wrapped both of my hands behind his neck and forcefully pulled him to me, kissing him deeply. Suddenly, I felt like there was so much I still needed to learn about Chaseyn.

So very much more.

Chapter 17 - Family

For the next hour, I sat quietly watching Chaseyn while he painted. With my eyes staring intently at his every move, he was awkward and adorable. Every few seconds, his gaze would cross mine, and he would run his long fingers through his hair in a show of modesty. Unruly strands stuck out in a variety of directions, and he looked so inviting that I had trouble keeping my hands to myself. Eventually, he gave up trying to focus on the brush and the canvas. Instead, he took me in his arms, and we kissed for a while. Not long, but it was enough to suppress my indecent thoughts of him.

“
Cordelia,” he said with a start after looking at his watch. “We have to go.”

I grabbed his wrist to glance at the time and realized he was right. My mom would be serving dinner any second. Kevin, my grandma, Addie—and possibly Rob—would all be waiting on us. We flew down the rickety ladder to find his mom. I wanted to say a proper goodbye and thank her for welcoming me into their home.

“
I certainly hope to see you again soon,” she said, wrapping her thin arms around me in a strong embrace. I nodded and smiled.

We rushed hand-in-hand outside the door to his car and sped down the driveway in reverse.

“
You’re in a hurry,”’ I said, gripping the sides of my seat.

“
I don’t need to give your grandma any more reason to dislike me,” he said. “It will leave a terrible impression if we don’t make it home in time for appetizers.”

“
What makes you think she doesn’t like you,” I asked confused. Chaseyn was charming and adorable; there was no possible reason for my grandma to be anything but happy that I had met such a wonderful boy. She was always saying that chivalry is dead, but Chaseyn had proved otherwise. “I thought things went really well.”

He just shrugged and said, “We’ll see.”

“
Now, your mom…,” I started to say.

“
She just spends so much time in the public eye when she’s performing that prefers to keep to herself at home. It’s nothing personal,” he cut me off. “She loved you. I mean, she really thought you were great.”

He seemed so confident in his words that it was hard to believe he could be wrong, but I had the impression his mom was impartial. She was very nice, but something just didn’t seem quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but she seemed uncomfortable having me there.

Between shifting gears, Chaseyn grabbed my hand and kissed each knuckle softly. It was already dark outside when we finally pulled to a stop in front of my house. It was only a fifteen minute drive, but the sun had set during that time. Dinner would be served in less than half an hour, and despite how I wanted my grandma to feel about Chaseyn, I knew she would hold it against him if we were late.

“
We better get inside,” he said, hopping out of the vehicle at a hare’s pace. “They’re waiting on us.”

He was right.

“
Where have you guys been,” Addie stated the obvious, while jumping up from the couch to anchor herself at my side. “I’m starving.”

Addie had been a regular fixture at my house for half a dozen years or so, but without Rob at her side, I was sure she felt uncomfortable around Kevin and my grandma. She had only met each of them a handful of times, and they could be intimidating—maybe not Kevin so much as my grandma.

I looped my arm through hers, and we walked toward the kitchen, Chaseyn tagging along behind us, head down, hands in his pockets. Presumably, he felt terrible about delaying everyone’s meal, but I was as much to blame.

“
I’m sorry,”’ I said sincerely. “’We just got caught up is all.”

Chaseyn glanced at me with a look that said he would prefer I kept his artistic talents between the two of us. I nodded discretely and began wracking my brain for an alternate activity.

“
It’s my fault,” Chaseyn said casually. “We went to Morrison. I wanted to see the Red Rocks Amphitheatre, and it took longer than I had expected.”

“
That’s an interesting road trip,” my mom said skeptically. “It’s very beautiful, but I don’t know too many young people willing to drive all that way just to check it out when there is no performance scheduled.”

“
You’re forgetting, mom. Chaseyn’s mother is a musician. She’ll be performing there this summer,” I offered, adding credibility to the claim. Luckily, I had been there three or four times before, so it was easy for me to gush about different aspects of the structure’s unique atmosphere. My mom seemed appeased by that, cocking her head slightly to the side, her frown subsiding.

“
Humph,” she muttered, giving a shrug that suggested she thought it a reasonable excuse for being late to dinner.

Turkey, cranberries, potatoes, carrots, stuffing, and much, much more awaited us as we approached the table. It looked delicious and smelled even better. Chaseyn and Kevin looked like they had found their little piece of heaven as they began scooping heaping helpings of every item onto their plates.

Addie and I caught up about the weekend’s events in our own private conversation. I felt badly for leaving Chaseyn to be grilled by my grandma, but she was surprisingly quiet, issuing the odd comment at completely appropriate times. Mostly, she joined by mom and Kevin in idle chitchat. We had barely finished gorging ourselves on pie and whipped cream, when Chaseyn announced that he would be leaving early. He had an assignment due in the morning, and he needed to put on the finishing touches. My mom smiled so big, I thought her head would burst. She was delighted that Chaseyn was so incredibly responsible. From the moment they had met, he had charmed her to the core. Me, too. Under the table, Chaseyn squeezed my hand affectionately and stood to leave. I escorted him to the door. He hadn’t mentioned the assignment before, and I wanted to be sure everything was alright.

“
What’s up,” I said when we were out of earshot of everyone in the kitchen. “Why are you leaving? Don’t leave.”

“
I really should,” he said. “I do have homework, but more than that, you’ve been spending so much time with me that I think it would be nice for you to be with your family alone.”

“
But Addie’s staying,” I pleaded.

“
Cordelia, she
is
your family.
”

“
So are you, now.”

“
Not like that. Not yet,” he said looking down as he traced a pattern in the carpet with the toe of his left foot. “One day, Cordelia. But, not yet.”

He kissed my cheek and walked out the door to his car.

“
Come, Lia. Join us. We’re going to play crib,” my mom yelled from the other room.

My eyes rolled back in my head, and I walked sluggishly toward the kitchen, dragging my heals as I went.

“
Can you believe Kevin has never played before,” she continued.

I could, actually. What I couldn’t believe is that I did know how to play. And worse, that my mom had forced Addie to play with us after so many Sunday night dinners as kids that she was nearly better than any of us. It was tradition when grandma came to stay, so I decided to buck up and join the fun.

“
Come on, Lia. Haven’t we waited on you enough tonight,” Addie said laughing.

There was no point playing against my grandma. She annihilated us every game. After several cups of cocoa, one too many cupcakes, and three rounds of crib, I said farewell to Addie, kissed my mom and grandma goodnight, and called it an evening. When I reached my room, I noticed a small white envelope in the center of my pillow. Carefully, I tore through the top with the edge of my index finger and pulled out an embossed note card.

One night without you is one night too many.

All my love,

C.

He must have sneaked back into the house while we were whooping it up in the kitchen. Somehow, our crib games always got out of control. Between my grandma’s gregarious outbursts and Addie’s squealing laughter, it was hard to hear your own thoughts, let alone someone tiptoeing up the stairs—especially if that someone knew exactly which creaking floorboards to avoid. He paid such close attention to detail and was so thoughtful, it filled my heart just to think about it.

The holidays came and went in a blur. It was the same story each year. On Christmas Eve, we went for a potluck dinner at the community center, which was followed by ice skating to live caroling. A large bonfire blazed in the center of the rink, where dozens of families spent the evening congregating to enjoy the company of close friends. This year, the weather cooperated. Though there was a mild breeze that turned to a cold chill as I circled the rink cautiously on my archaic figure skates, the temperature was warm, and I was cozy in my heavy parka and thick mittens. Chaseyn held my hand as I pushed my feet forward, struggling to keep my ankles from burning the ice. My mom and Kevin glided effortlessly around the rink, while grandma watched from a bench positioned within reach of the warmth of the fire. Later, we attended midnight mass. It was the only day of the year that we stepped foot inside a church. Chaseyn was edgy about joining us—panicked at the thought, in fact. He went home to be with his mother for their own midnight tradition—what it was, he wouldn’t say.

The next day, I woke early and ran into my mom’s room like a six-year-old kid. Some things you could never grow out of. This was mine. She got up, grabbed her robe, and headed downstairs to call Kevin. We promised to call the minute we got up so that he could join us around the tree to open gifts. Once mom knew he was en route, she began frying bacon and scrambling eggs. Next, I pounced on my grandma, who was lying awake in bed, waiting for my arrival. She knew I would come. I always did. We walked downstairs together, my mom waiting at the bottom of the steps to take our picture as we came in sight of the tree. She wanted to capture the look on my face when I saw my gifts. It was a lifelong tradition, but it had lost its effect when I reached my teens, and the ridiculously lavish gifts that would be piled high beneath the tree when I was a child were replaced by small, gift-card-sized boxes. Still, I put on a fake face and gave her my best pose. It made her happy; I could go along with it for one day. Only, I had a feeling this wasn’t going to be the best part of
her
day.