Brian Friel Plays 2 (48 page)

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Authors: Brian Friel

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I know – I’m sorry – it’s a mess. And when we were planning it, it seemed a wonderful idea. It still is a wonderful idea. And there’s still a good chance we’ll make it – a very good chance. Carlin
will
come. I honestly … Anyhow … sorry, sorry …

Pause.

Trish
(
sits
up
)
I know when I was in Sligo before! Seventeen years ago – at a bridge congress.

Terry
Donegal, Trish.

Trish
No, Sligo. At the old Great Southern Hotel. My partner was a man –

Frank
Here he comes! There he is! Look! Look!

Trish
What? – who? –

Frank
The boatman! Carlin! With his boat! He’s here! He’s bloody here!

Suddenly
everybody
is
excited,
agitated.
They
all
talk
at
the
same
time:

Trish
Who’s here?

Terry
Carlin.

Berna
Oh God!

Terry
Where is he?

Trish
Who’s Carlin?

Angela
I don’t believe it.

Terry
Great – terrific! Are you sure, Frank?

Berna
(
anxious,
agitated
)
Oh God! – Oh my God! –

Angela
The bastard – where is he?

Trish
Where, Frank? Where?

Angela
I don’t believe it.

Berna
Oh my God!

Terry
Is he alone? Quiet, please!

Berna
Oh my God, Angela –

Terry
Where is he, Frank?

Trish
Can you see him?

Angela
I don’t believe it.

Terry
Where is he, Frank?

Frank
‘Wolf!’ cried the naughty boy. ‘Wolf.’

Trish
What? Where is he?

Frank
‘Wolf – wolf.’

Berna
He’s not there at all?

Frank
’Fraid not. Woke you up all the same, didn’t it?

Terry
(
quiet
fury
)
That is not funny, for Christ’s sake.

Trish Oh, Frank, how could you?

Frank
Joke.

Angela
(
calmly
)
Damn you, Frank.

Frank
A joke – that’s all.

Terry
Not funny at all, Frank.

Frank
Sorry.

Trish
Oh, Frank, that was cruel.

Frank
Sorry – sorry – sorry. For God’s sake, what’s eating you all?

Again
they
retreat
into
themselves.
And
as
they
do
George
plays
‘Regina
caeli,
laetare,
alleluia;
quia
quem
meruisti
portar
e
…’
He
breaks
off
mid-phrase.
Silence.

Angela
(
suddenly,
with
great
energy
)
All right, everybody! Story time! So we’re stuck here! We’re going nowhere! We’ll pass the night with stories.

Trish
Good for you, Angela. Yeah–yeah–yeah–yeah!

Angela
‘Once upon a time’ – who goes first? Terry!

Terry
I don’t know any stories.

Trish
Yes, you do. He’s a wonderful story-teller.

Angela
We’ll get him later. You start off, Trish.

Trish
Let someone else start. I’ll go second. Berna, tell us one of your law stories.

Berna
All right. Let me think of one.

Trish
A clean law story! We’ll come back to you. Frank – ‘Once upon a time –’

Frank
Pass.

Terry
Get it over with, Frank.

Trish
Come on, Frank. Be a sport. It’s only a bit of fun.

Frank
Later. After Berna.

Angela
I think George wants to go first.

Frank
What about yourself, Terry?

Terry
Couldn’t tell a story to save my life.

Angela
Have you a story to tell, George?

Trish
What’s wrong with you all? You go first, Angela. Then a clean law story. Then Frank. Then –

Angela
George?

George
Yes?

Trish
Then me. Then Terry –

Angela
George will go first. Tell us your story, George.

Trish
Right – I’ll kick off.

Angela
(
to
George
)
‘Once upon a time –’

Frank
Stop bullying, Angela.

George
moves
into
the
centre
of
the
group.

Trish
This woman had ten children, one after the other, and –

Angela
Right, George?

Terry
Angela –

Angela
(
to
George
)
Ready?

Trish
And the ten children all had red hair like the –

Angela
(
to
Trish
)
Please, (
to
George
)
‘Once upon a time –’

Silence.
George
looks
at
each
of
them
in
turn.
Then
he
plays
the
first
fifteen
seconds
of
the
third
movement
(‘
Presto
’)
of
Beethoven’s
Sonata
No.
14
(

Moonlight
’).
He
plays
with
astonishing
virtuosity,
very
rapidly,
much
faster
than
the
piece
is
scored,
and
with
an
internal
fury;
so
that
his
performance,
as
well
as
being
dazzlingly
dextrous
and
skilful
and
fast

because
of
its
dazzling
dexterity
and
skill
and
speed

seems
close
to
parody.
And
then
in
the
middle
of
a
phrase,
he
suddenly
stops.
He
bows
to
them
all
very
formally,
as
if
he
had
given
a
recital
in
a
concert
hall.

George
Thank you. Thank you very much.

He
now
removes
the
accordion
and
puts
it
in
the
case.
Pause.

Trish
(
almost
shouting,
very
emotional,
close
to
tears
) Are you satisfied now? Happy now, are you? Do you see, you all? – not one of you is fit to clean his boots!

George
now
spreads
out
a
sleeping-bag
and
lies
on
top 
of
it.
Trish
spreads
a
rug
over
him.
Pause.

Berna
I’m going for a swim. Anybody coming?

Terry
Please, Berna; not now.

Berna
Angela?

Terry
That water could be dangerous, Berna.

Angela
Wait until daybreak. I’ll go with you then. I’d love a swim, too. As soon as it’s daylight.

Frank
comes
down
from
the
catwalk.
He
goes
to
Terry.

Frank
Waiting – just waiting – waiting for anything makes you a bit edgy, doesn’t it? Sorry about that wolf thing.

Terry
makes
a
gesture
of
dismissal
and
continues
looking
through
the
hampers.

It wasn’t meant cruelly. Just stupid.

Terry
Brandied peaches and Romanian truffles. Christ. I order two hampers of good food and they fill them with stuff nobody can eat. (
He
holds
up
a
bottle.
)
Drop of brandy?

Frank
If you had some whiskey.

Terry
Should have.

Frank
Can’t take it neat though.

Terry
(
searching
hamper
)
Of course – everything except water. (
He
points
to
a
shallow
hollow
on
the
floor
of
the
pier
where
water
has
gathered.
)
Is that rain water or salt water?

Frank
dips
a
finger
and
tastes
it.

Frank
We’re in business. (
He
scoops
some
water
into
a
paper
cup
and
makes
a
drink.
Toasts
:)
Happy birthday, Terry.

Terry
That was yesterday.

Frank
Was it? All the same.

Terry
How’s the book coming on?

Frank
The finishing post is in sight … at last. Time for it, says you, after three-and-a-half years.

Terry
Great.

Frank
I know I shouldn’t say this but I hope – God damn it, I pray – this is going to be the breakthrough for me. And some instinct tells me it will. Well … maybe … touch wood.

Terry
You’ve told me a dozen times – I’m sorry – clock-making through the ages – is that it?

Frank
Terence!

Terry
Sorry.

Frank
The
Measurement
of
Time
and
its
Effect
on
European
Civilization.

Terry
Ah.

Frank
I know. But they assure me there is a market for it – not large but worldwide. It
is
fascinating stuff. I never seem to thank you for all your help, Terry.

Terry
Nothing – nothing. Another splash? (
He
pours
more
whiskey
into
the
cup.
)

Frank
How can I thank you adequately? Only for you I’d still be sitting in that estate agent’s office. Instead of which – ta-ra! – the thrilling life of a journeyman writer,
scrounging
commissions. Angela going back to lecturing after all these years – that was a huge help, too, of course. And the poor girl hates it, hates it. But your support, Terry, every bloody week – magnanimous! I hope some day I’ll –

Terry
Don’t talk about it. Please.

Frank
A new Medici.

Terry
Is that a horse?

Frank
You know very well –

Terry
I’d put money on that myself!

Frank
Thanks. That’s all I can say. Thank you. (
He
finishes
his
drink
rapidly
and
makes
another
.)

Trish
puts
a
pillow
under
George’s
head.

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