Broken (25 page)

"Is it him,
Halona
?"

Wyanet
showed her face in the door. Beautiful and still floating through her own world
of music. She hadn't aged a day. Her hair had turned gray over night from
worrying about
Aiyana
alone in the swamps at night,
but she had the same dark skin and beautiful big eyes. She was humming as she
approached me.

"
Howahkan
!" she
exclaimed and wrapped her arms around me in a great hug. My Native American
name meant
of the mysterious voice.
She gave me the
name back when I often sang for the family and played my guitar. "We have
missed you."

I smiled as
Halona
grabbed
my hand and dragged me inside the old house. "I have missed you too,"
I said and meant every word of it.

As expected nothing had changed inside either.
Nadie
,
the wise one,
was in the kitchen preparing a great meal,
Nidawi
,
the fairy one,
was taking care of the family's many cats
sitting on the floor with them in her lap, her thick blond hair touching the
floor behind her back. She was the only blond of the girls, an albino, but
apart from that she looked just like the rest of the family. She had over the
years developed skills to heal animals with herbs,
Wyanet
told me and when she wasn't doing that she was still painting. Nina,
the strong one,
had married and no longer lived in the
house.

I said hello to all of the sisters and they hugged me
tightly as their mother had done. I felt immediately comfortable in their
presence and soon it was like I hadn't been away at all.
Wyanet
and I sat on the couch in the living room and talked for a long time. She
wanted to know everything in my life. As we spoke I noticed
Halona
sitting on the windowsill curled up with her feet pulled up under her dress
staring at the street outside. Next to her was the apparition of the
great-grandmother who still hadn't found a way to cross over to the other side,
to the world of the spirits where she really belonged.

"They sit like that all day,"
Wyanet
said. "Been like that for a week now. Often I
wish that
Aiyana
were here to help me with
Halona
. They were so close the two of them.
Halona
hasn't been the same ever since she left. She even
stopped all clocks in the house so they're still showing the time that
Aiyana
left. I've tried to correct them, but they always
return to that same time."

"What are they looking at?"

"I don't know, really. But I have a feeling that
Halona
is waiting for somebody. I thought it was you,
actually. I told her that I knew you were coming a month ago. I just didn't
know when you'd be here,"
Wyanet
laughed.
"But here you are. It is so nice to finally see you again.
Aiyana
has told me that she has been seeing you a lot
lately."

"Are you in contact with her?" I asked
surprised since
Aiyana
had told me something
different.

Wyanet
nodded slowly while pointing a finger to her head. "Well, we have our ways
of communicating."

I smiled. Of course they did. I dropped my head
thinking about
Aiyana
. As I did I heard voices on the
stairs. I lifted my head and spotted two black people coming down. One carried
a saxophone the other a trumpet. They greeted us with big smiles before they
went outside on the porch and started playing soulfully. I was blown away by
the sounds that emerged from these instruments. I had missed this. I had
forgotten how much music meant to me, what a big part of me it was and how good
it made me feel.

"They are really good," I said to
Wyanet
. "Who are they?"

She smiled. “Ellis and Tyler. They've been here for a
couple of months. Just visiting. Came knocking one day on our door and have
blessed us with their music and joyful presence ever since. They stay in Nina's
old room."

"That's nice." I closed my eyes for a second
and listened closely to the notes floating into the house from the porch. I
liked how it made me feel. I looked at
Wyanet
. She
too had her eyes closed and was humming along.

"So I guess that
Aiyana
has told you about my transformation?" I asked.

Wyanet
opened her eyes. "Yes she has. It is so exciting for you. I am so happy
that you get to have this experience together. You and
Aiyana
."
Wyanet
grabbed my hand and held it tight. "It is
a huge honor to be allowed to transform, you know that don't you? Cherish it.
Protect it. Our tribe has worshipped the were-jaguars for generations. You are
a part of a long line of proud shape-shifters now."

It always dazzled me how
Wyanet
made me feel so important like no one else ever did. No status, no title or
prestige could give me the same feeling.
 
I felt like there was a higher meaning for me, a higher purpose that
reached beyond this life.

"I need to ask you something," I said.
"That's actually why I came."

She smiled.
Nadie
brought us
herb-tea. It tasted just like the one
Aponi
, their
grandmother had made for me many years ago before she left this world.

"And what might that be?"
Wyanet
asked.

"My wife is sick. She has AIDS."

Wyanet
put down the cup without drinking from it. "I am so
so
sorry to hear that," she said sincerely.

"The thing is I had my blood examined recently
and discovered something that puts me in a difficult spot."

"You saw that your blood is different than
others. Because you are different now, no longer an ordinary human?"

I sighed. "Yes. But not only that. I also
discovered that I can't get sick. Neither cancer nor any other disease can
infect me because of the new blood cells."

Wyanet
nodded. "Yes. That's why we don't age, that's why we don't die from
diseases. I think I see where this is going," she said. "And noble as
it is, you can't do it. You can't save your wife by giving her your
blood."

"But why not? I got it through a bite."

"It won't work. The new blood will cause her
blood to clot and she will die."

"But that didn't happen to me."

"I know. But you're special. Or maybe it was
because you received such a small dose that your blood didn't clot. I don't
know. But I do know that my people have tried this, experimented with it for
generations, trying to figure out how we could marry outside of the tribe and
still pass on the fountain. But no has ever succeeded until you came along. And
I don't think anyone else will. That's what makes you so special. How did it go
with that friend of yours who was bitten? The one who lost his leg
afterwards?"

"Jim? He is fine. He has had a couple of strokes
caused by a blood clot, but he survived those and is fine now."

"For now, he is. But he will have more," she
said. "As long as he is young and strong he can take it but once he gets a
little older and weaker it will kill him. Strokes kill people. I am sorry to be
so brutal, but that is reality for him. He won't survive it."

I sighed. I felt bad for Jim. "But there might be
a chance ..."

"You have to think of the consequences as
well," she interrupted me. "It would mean revealing the secret of the
fountain. People cannot cope with such a discovery. Not this world. They will
use it for wrong purposes."

"But ... she could keep it a secret. If she
survives."

Wyanet
nodded. "She might be able to. But what about her family? Her parents, her
neighbors, her doctors? They all know she is sick. If she is miraculously cured
then they'll want to know how it happened, don't you think?"

"But it is her life we're talking about. She’s my
son's mother; my son's life will be destroyed by the loss of his mother."

Wyanet
picked up her cup and drank. The soulful music played non-stop from the porch.
Wyanet
was quiet for a while, searching her soul for the
answer.

"You make an excellent point. I understand what
you are saying," she said finally. "You are speaking out of love and
I will not get in the way of that. I will leave it up to your own conscience.
You will have to make the decision. I know you'll make the right one."

 
I sighed,
relieved. The last thing I wanted to do was to upset
Wyanet
and her family by going behind their back. I was pleased with my decision to
seek their advice first. I drank silently from my cup while listening to the
wonderful music.

"Let's join them,"
Wyanet
said and took my hand to pull me up from the couch. Then she ran upstairs and
came down with her cello and a guitar. She handed me the guitar.

"I haven't played in years," I said
reluctantly.

But
Wyanet
wouldn't hear of
it. She dragged me outside and placed me in an old chair. Then she sat down
next to me and started playing her low notes on the cello. It sounded slightly
sad. Then she speeded up and with the saxophone and trumpet next to her they
created magnificent music. I was dazzled. I hadn't heard music like this since
... well since the last time I had set my foot in this enchanted house where
time seemed to stand still.

The black woman in the colorful dress started singing
with
Wyanet
accompanying her on the cello. I studied
how she slowly became one with her instrument, letting the bow dance over the
strings with her eyes closed, her body swaying from side to side. I knew how
she was feeling. I remembered letting music take me to places inside of me.
Places I could never go otherwise, places that could heal a broken soul.

Wyanet
opened her eyes and looked at me for a second. Then she smiled and urged me to
start playing. So I did. I held the guitar between my hands and hesitantly I
put my fingers on the strings. Then I fell in. I jumped right into the music
that the others were playing and just let it take me along for a ride. My
fingers danced across the strings and my emotions ran wild. I let the music
carry me away from everything and for the first time in a long while I felt a
pinch of happiness. This was where I belonged. I had known it all along, yet
chosen to ignore it.

Later
Nadine called us in for lunch and we shared a delightful meal with lots of
laughter
and joyful talk.
Halona
kept smiling at me while her glass and silverware floated in the air in front
of her.

"She is very pleased to see you again,"
Wyanet
said with a light laughter. "She has always
been very fond of you.”

After lunch we played our instruments again while the
sisters danced with fluttering skirts. I enjoyed watching them but as the
afternoon approached I had to go home to William. I said my goodbyes with a
heavy heart not knowing when I would ever see those lovely creatures again.
Wyanet
walked me out.

"Take care,
Howahkan
,"
she said. "And take good care of
Aiyana
."

I stared into her eyes as she said it and detected a
sadness so very unknown to them. A melancholy sprung from the knowledge of her
daughter being in a troubled relationship and not being able to do anything
about it, not knowing if she would ever see her again.

I exhaled deeply. I didn't know when I was going to
see her either.
If
I was ever going to see her again.

Chapter 30

I didn't know what
I had
expected but to my great disappointment
Aiyana
didn't
show up in the swamps that night either. It wasn't just that one night that she
didn't come. The fear was growing inside of me, the fear that she
wasn't going to come anymore
. I hunted alone that night,
throwing myself at my prey with huge anger and ripping the flesh from their
bones viciously. I killed anything I could spot in the darkness, hear or smell.
No one was spared. No life was saved. I was on a killing-spree.

As sunrise approached, I left the remains of my prey
to rot on the ground or be eaten by other animals and ran towards my house. I
was full of despair and sorrow. I was still far from my house but could see it
in the distance when I noticed someone standing in the driveway looking in my
direction. It was a woman in a dress. She knew I was coming, she was expecting
me. I sensed that I shouldn't be afraid to let her see me, to show myself to
her as the savage beast. She was calling for me in my thoughts; she had
penetrated my mind and was speaking to me in a gentle and subtle voice. The
voice was unfamiliar yet I understood I knew this woman.