Broken (23 page)

In the beginning things had stayed pretty much the same. All through the divorce, those hot sex sessions had assured him that he was doing the right thing. A man was entitled to enjoy sex with his woman wasn’t he?

He’d always felt inadequate in bed with Kerryanne. Somehow she always left him feeling like he hadn’t quite satisfied her, not that she’d ever said anything of the sort. But a man knows when the woman beneath him is just passing the time. It hadn’t always been like that; at least he didn’t think so. He’d been her first and only…at least until the new guy in town came along. The thought that she was sleeping with that guy made his gut hurt.

He felt heat climb up his neck at the thought of his ex wife in bed with that thug. Was she comparing them…?

“Are you listening to me? Where the fuck is your head?” He was dragged back to the here and now by her screeching voice. Had she always sounded like that? Why was it that now that Kerry had a new love interest he was finding things to be displeased about in his new wife?

Things hadn’t remained the same after they got married, but he put that down to the stress of being a new stay at home mom. Though she’d talked him into hiring a nanny and housekeeper. Her argument was that a man of his position had an image to uphold. He’d gone along with it just as he’d gone along with everything else she’d suggested since they’d started their affair. Some days when he could think clearly, he regretted that more and more.

“I’m listening, who humiliated you?”

“I told you, Kerryanne and that gang member.”

“Gang member? Come on, I don’t see Kerry getting mixed up with someone like that. He may not be one of us, but I’m sure he’s not that.”

“Have you seen him? All those tattoos and vulgar muscles he always has on display. Sarah is looking into it, but I’m sure she’s going to confirm my suspicions.”

Her mouth tightened in that way he hated. How come he’d never seen this spiteful little girl side to her before? He’d like to hide behind the excuse that it was the baby and the stress of new motherhood that had made her this way, but he knew that wasn’t true.

He’d married a viperous bitch and he had no one to blame but himself. It was only here lately that he was starting to begin each day with regret even before rolling out of bed. Where the hell were his antacids? Fat lot of help they were anyway. He decided it was best to answer her before she had one of her fits with people sitting out there waiting to be cared for.

“Okay how exactly did they humiliate you?” He could feel the beginnings of one of his headaches that were becoming more and more constant when dealing with her. She paced back and forth in his office as she recounted the day’s events. He was sure less than half of what she said was true and the rest was embellishment. He’d come to realize his wife was very good at that. With Kerry he’d never had to worry about being lied to.

There he goes again making comparisons in his head. He hated the fact that more and more lately his new life wasn’t adding up to what he’d expected and that the more time passed he regretted letting go of what might have been the best thing in his life. He listened to her rant and rave getting out her frustration until she came to her final point. “We have to get rid of them.”

“Get rid of who, what are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you been listening? Kerryanne and her new boyfriend I want them gone.”

“Okay Jen you’re talking crazy now. Why don’t you just go home and relax?” She turned a venomous look on him, one that he was only too familiar with. He knew that look well, it was the one she kept well hidden from unsuspecting fools who were usually conned by her attractive face and her killer body.

Kerryanne sure was looking good last night. He couldn’t remember her looking that young and fresh since their first years together. It didn’t occur to him that she’d started to look rundown and harried because she’d been busy working herself into the ground to support him.

“Fine, what exactly is it that you expect me to do?” He was tired. Tired and he realized lonely. He was too much of an ass to admit to himself to admit that he’d made a horrible mistake. But it wasn’t too late. Maybe there was something to her idea. Maybe if he got rid of that Kyle person he and Kerryanne...

“I want you to help me come up with a plan. Sarah and Jeff are coming over tonight and we’re going to brainstorm.”

“Jeff?” He couldn’t see that blowhard being part of something like this.

“He’ll do as he’s told don’t you worry about it. And for heaven’s sake don’t be late.

No he won’t. For the first time in weeks he was looking forward to going home. If he played this right just maybe he could fix the mess he’d made of his life.

Chapter 18

***

B
y the time Kerryanne came up for air the next day, she’d all but forgotten Jen and the baby. It wasn’t that she was all the way over her hurt, that was gonna take a while. But after the way Kyle had loved her, the things he’d whispered to her when he was inside her or just holding her afterwards, her heart had come a long way from the precipice it had been teetering on in that supermarket line.

He’d helped her to see some things in a whole new light, though she still didn’t believe his theory that Jen was jealous of her. How could that be? She would’ve seen it along the way over the years certainly if that were the case wouldn’t she? Or was it like he said, she’d thought so little of herself that she’d been blinded by the false friendship?

She’d had to go back in her head to when they were kids, when they’d first become friends. They hadn’t been close until the first year in high school that’s true. Jen had always run with a different crowd. As she remembered it, it was after she’d won her first spelling bee that Jen had congratulated her after placing second.

She hadn’t sensed anything off then and hadn’t any of the times she’d felt a little put out with her friend for some slight or the other. She’d just seen it as usual teenage drama. Why would Jen be jealous of her? It made no sense. She’d gone off to college like so many of their friends, while Kerry had stayed back. Not because she wasn’t smart enough, but because Paul had needed her to work and put food on the table and a roof over his head while he went after his dreams.

When she looked back at things now through new eyes she saw what an utter ass she was. Kyle didn’t come right out and call her stupid but she was sure he had to be thinking it. She was surprised at how much he knew once they’d got to talking. And the more he talked the clearer things became.

Maybe it was because she’d been all mellowed out from their lovemaking, or maybe she was just feeling pleased with herself because the most gorgeous man she’d ever known had found pleasure in her body. Whatever it was, his words had made sense to her. He didn’t judge her, not the way she was still judging herself. But he’d made it clear that it was time she got over it and moved on.

She realized that she was afraid, afraid to really feel for him, though it might be too late. She didn’t think he would do her, the way Paul had, but he could break her heart into a million pieces. Because she had felt for Paul with a child’s heart, what she was beginning to feel for Kyle was so much more.

The thought made her sick to her stomach. Was she playing with fire? She wasn’t ready to give up what they’d shared in the last couple of days, but how could she keep sharing her body with him and leave her heart out of it?

“Okay Kerry time to get up.” He’d left her like a limp rag on the bed again this morning before leaving to go to his grandpa’s. He had some things to take care of and she needed to hit the computer and put down some of these thoughts she had running through her head. Still she found it hard to leave the warmth of the bed where she could still smell him. She wanted to hold onto what they’d shared in this bed a little longer before reality intruded, as she was sure it would.

She took a hot shower, washing his seed from between her thighs. That warm feeling refusing to leave her tummy. Kyle swore that it was her juices on her thighs since according to him he’d cum so deep in her womb there was no way any of it leaked out.

That’s another thing, his obsession with getting her pregnant, or breeding her as he was fond of putting it. Almost every time he was inside her he’d whisper those words in her ear, and though they made her hot while he was pounding into her, afterwards they struck fear in her heart.

She still wasn’t sure of his intentions. His ‘where I go you go’ didn’t exactly spell white picket fence and happily ever after. What scared her more than anything was the fact that she was willing to go with him when he did leave.

Her fear was that she was making the same mistake again, being at a man’s whim. But what was she to do? No matter what lies she tried telling herself, deep down she knew she was already in trouble. How did you pull yourself back when you’d already thrown yourself over the edge of the cliff?

“Argggghhhhh.” She flicked off the water and left the shower. Her belly rumbled, reminding her that all they’d eaten since breakfast yesterday was some fruit and a few bottles of water. She made herself a sandwich in the kitchen and waited for the coffee to finish while she powered on the computer.

She forgot the half eaten sandwich and didn’t even touch the coffee as she flew through the story, adding all the nuances she’d learned herself in the last few days. She now lived in a whole new world and it showed in the words she wrote. The flowery prose she had started had fleshed out a little to add the grit of reality, the things that people faced and dealt with everyday.

The crick in her neck told her she needed to get up and move around a bit. The sun was high in the sky and her first thought was of Kyle and what he was doing. All he’d said when he left was that he’d be back later. With her luck he’d be halfway out of town by now.

It wasn’t easy accepting that her fate had changed she guessed. Though he’d tried to drill it into her head and when that didn’t work he’d done his best to pound it into her, figuratively. She smiled warmly at the memory of him lying on top of her, their bodies still joined as he tried to convince her that it was real.

The phone rang and she looked at it like a coiled snake. She was afraid to even look at the caller ID, because she was sure of who it would be. If he left a message and Kyle heard it-it might set off world war three. And she was sure as the sun was shining that he’d ask her if anyone called when he came back.

“Hello.” She was a glutton for punishment, that’s the only excuse she could come up with for what she was doing. “Kerryanne, you alone?” She almost took the phone away from her ear and look at it. His voice sounded…different.

“What do you want Paul?” She still had that feeling of dread when dealing with him and guessed she always will. There was no way she’d ever fully be over what had been done to her, but at least she wasn’t pining after what once was any longer.

“I want to talk that’s all. I think things may have gotten out of hand.”

“What things what are you talking about?”

“Look I care about you. This guy, he’s not the right one for you, he’s not our kind of people.”

“Paul I don’t mean to be rude but that is none of your business, now unless you have something else to say to me I think you should hang up.”

“Well I did want to talk to you about the lawyer.”

“Don’t start that again. I’m not about to let you dictate my life for a few measly dollars a month.” She couldn’t believe she was saying this. She had very little left, only enough for a few months rent, but that wasn’t enough to make her go groveling to him. A month ago maybe, but she was no longer willing to let fear rule her. She’ll survive.

“No-no-no, I was wrong to say that. I just want to take care of you. I’ve had some time to think and you deserve something for all you’ve done.” This time she really did take the phone away from her ear and looked at it. What the hell was going on? Was someone playing a sick joke?

She was about to question his change of heart but the sound of a motorcycle pulling up outside had her backpedaling fast. “Someone’s at the door, we’ll have to talk later, bye.” Her heart all but beat out of her chest when she heard the key in the door and she moved hurriedly away from the phone.

He came in with sacks of food in his hands that smelt heavenly. She knew she had guilt written all over her face and was trying her best to keep it hidden. “Hey Princess you eat?”

“Nope, just got through writing.” She cleared her throat and looked towards the laptop on the table. She could feel his eyes on her and hoped he didn’t ask her anything else about her morning.

“Uh-huh, what is it? Spit it out.” She wrung her hands and moved farther away from him. Kyle had been in a hurry to get back to her. He’d spent his morning stirring up shit that was gonna hit the fan in a day or two. A lawyer friend of his had promised to look into her divorce and after hearing the details had sworn he could fix it.

He didn’t know shit about the law outside of business law, so he took his word for it. Apparently if there was any kind of fraud involved, or if it was proven that she didn’t have good representation then a judge could throw out the judgment.

He already had a charity lined up to give the money to. He was going after half of everything the fucker owned. She might not like it, but as far as he was concerned that fell under his responsibility to look out for her.

He knew from the way she was trying to avoid him that something was up and could take a wild guess as to what that something was. Walking over he took her chin in his hand. “Honesty, remember?” She nodded her head and tried bravely to look him in the face. “Paul called just before you showed up.”

He took his time answering. Instead of his usual assault he decided to play that shit down, but he was gonna have to put his foot in that boy’s ass before long. “What did he want this time?” he walked over to the table very nonchalant, like he wasn’t mad enough to spit nails. Kerry watched him pretty much the same way she’d looked at the phone earlier.

“I didn’t stay on long enough to hear. He said something about alimony I guess.”

“And what did you say?” he started removing containers from the bag.

“Nothing-like I said-I didn’t stay on long.”

“Hmm. Let’s eat.” She didn’t know if she could trust his laid back attitude when only the day before he was ready to strangle her for even thinking about Paul, but when he pulled out her chair she walked over and sat down.

He’d brought her a Rueben the way she liked and Cole slaw. She had to admit that since meeting him she’d been eating really well. At least if nothing else she’d got to enjoy great sex and good food.

She nibbled at her sandwich, still with a knot in her stomach. Life seemed to be spinning out of control. What was Paul after? And what was Kyle up to with her? The latter, played heavy on her mind and she really didn’t care all that much about the former.

She’d like to believe that he was dying of love for her, but she wasn’t the type to instill such things in a man. ‘But he sure does seem to like making love to you. No one can be that good an actor.’ Her poor mind was trying hard to look on the bright side, but her heart was leery of the whole thing.

“Your face is so expressive. I always know when something’s bothering you. Was it the asshole?” He sighed as if to say ‘here we go again’ and she got her dander up. He wasn’t there five minutes and already they were gonna go at it. “No, it’s nothing he said.” She wanted so badly to say it’s you. But wasn’t quite brave enough. She wasn’t sure what the crazy man would do if she told him half of what she was thinking since he seemed to lack all understanding.

He said he understood why she was still having a hard time letting go of the past, but she knew he couldn’t see why it was so hard for her to open up herself to the future. Besides, he hadn’t really said much at all about a future with her. Why couldn’t life be simple? Was she destined to constantly be in turmoil?

After the divorce, she’d never given a thought to moving on. A new romance was never on the horizon, in fact quite the opposite. Her heart had been so broken she never wanted anything to do with love.

The fear of going through that hell again made her nauseous and she shored herself up, at least in her mind, never to go there again. Right on the heels of that thought was Kyle. Oh damn, she’d made a mess of it again.

Kyle watched her like a hawk as she picked at her food getting madder by the minute. He was of a mind to head down to the asshole’s office and put a beat down on him, but figured what he had in the works would do more damage. There was something else he had to be pleased about as well. The realtor had got back to him and everything was a go.

He wasn’t sure what the man had said, but apparently he’d dropped his name after the owner wasn’t about to budge on the price and he’d changed his mind. He was accustomed to people treating him that way. It was one of the reasons he was still keeping a low profile here in town. When they finally figured out who he was he was sure he’d have more friend requests than he wanted.

It was all part of his plan. When he was through, Paul and Jen would be pariahs even among their own friends. Now had these friends been real, he wouldn’t stand a chance. But from everything he’d learned so far, they were all a bunch of superficial idiots who put more stock in material gain than in the value of true friendship.

“Well you gonna tell me what’s eating you?” She got up from the table and went to the sink to wash her hands. “It’s nothing, I just have a lot on my mind that’s all.”

Bullshit! When he left her this morning she was fine. She wasn’t where he’d like her to be in her head as yet, but she was a long way from where she’d been just a few short weeks ago. When they weren’t screwing each other blind, they’d had some pretty interesting conversations. He’d learned a hell of a lot more about her, and truth be known had only fallen even deeper in love with her innocence.

He’d left to go take care of shit only to come back to this shit again. The asshole had called and she was back to trying to make him crazy. Maybe it was time he did what was in his heart to do and stop pussy- footing around with this fuckery. It was a given he didn’t know the first fucking thing about love and romance, but on second thought neither the fuck did she. All she knew was lies and betrayal.