Broken Dreams (Franklin Blues #2) (10 page)

I shake my head, if I don’t get this out now, I never will. “No, I need to get this out. If I don’t finish today then I never will.”

Amy nods her head and grabs my hand. Little does she know that that little gesture is fueling my strength right now.

“After reading his letter, I ran outside. I know there’s only one place he can be so that’s where I went. I ran to our treehouse that we built with our dad when we were really little. I climb the ladder, and what I found still gives me nightmares. I found my brother, my idol, in a pool of his own blood. He had slit his wrists. I started screaming, I screamed until my throat was raw. Next thing I remember is hearing sirens and being pulled away from his body. I fought whoever was pulling me, and I heard our gardener telling me to stop fighting him, that I had to let the medics work on him. I didn’t know why they’re even here; I knew it’s too late. I could feel it in my heart. My big brother was gone.

“My parents came home during all the commotion and my mom fell to the ground, screaming something about her baby being gone. I looked over to where she’s looking and Aaron was laying on the gurney. It’s then that I knew I’d never be the same again. Even though he survived, he didn’t want anyone to come see him, not even me. That shattered my world. He was my hero, and to think he didn’t want to see me ripped me apart. The day he was supposed to be released I went and tried to talk to him one more time. I got to his room and his bed was empty. I ran to the nurse’s station to ask where he was. They told me that he had signed himself out and left with another young man. I was speechless that my brother up and left. I tried calling both him and Ty, but both phones had been disconnected. I hopped in my car and raced to Tyler’s house but it was vacant. My brother was truly gone.

“After that, my mother started drinking a lot, and my dad worked more and more. When he did come home he would drink. Let me tell you, when my dad drank, he was a mean drunk. I started becoming his punching bag. I didn’t mind it; I knew he was still hurting. I let him take out his anger on me. My mother moved from drinking to drugs. What once was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen was now a shell of what she used to be. Her honey brown hair that used to be so shiny was now greasy and stringy. She used to have curves, and now she was all skin and bones. My dad wasn’t much better. While his physical appearance didn’t really change, he was not the same man I grew up with.

“I started spending more time at friends’ houses than at home. I spent a lot of time at Shawn’s house to try and stay away during his benders. Shawn wanted to call the cops and report the abuse, but I was almost 18 and didn’t want to cause any problems, because once I turned 18 I could leave and not come back.

“One night, a couple years after losing Aaron, I was coming home from Shawn’s house and came home to cops all over the house. I was completely confused as to what was going on until I heard the first set of gun shots. I tried running up the lawn to my house, but got stopped by a police officer. I tried telling him that my parents were in there, but then I heard one single gunshot and silence. I was still waiting for someone to tell me what was going on but no one would tell me a fucking thing. I saw officers going into the house. When they yelled all clear, I tried going in but was once again stopped. Medics rushed into the house, and the next ten minutes seemed like forever until the medics came back out; two gurneys, two sheets, and that’s all it took for me to realize the severity of the situation. My parents were both dead.

“From what I had been told, my dad got plastered drunk, and since I wasn’t there, he took it out on my mom. He took out his old revolver that had belonged to his father and his father and so on, and started beating on my mom. He then shot her three times in the chest and then put a bullet in his head. If I had been there, I could’ve at least let him use me and not her. I could’ve saved her. That’s why I became a police officer. I wanted to be able to save those who couldn’t save themselves.”

I can’t bear to look at her. I’m not sure what is going through her head, but I’m sure it’s not going to be good. She gives my hand a squeeze, and I can hear her sniffling.

“Lance, that story broke my heart. I can’t believe you went through all that. No one should ever have to go through what you went through. I thought what I went through was bad, but it’s nothing compared on you.”

“Amy, please don’t compare what you went through to what I did. They are two completely different situations, and you should’ve never had to go through what you did either. I’ve been searching for over ten years for my big brother, and you would think being a cop I’d be able to. Sadly, he must not want to be found because I have never been able to find him.”

Amy lets go of my hand and stands up from the couch. This is it, she’s leaving me. I’m too fucked up. I should never think I know what that woman is going to do because I’m usually wrong. She kneels in front of me, making me look at her.

Amy

I make Lance look at me because he’s not hearing what I’m telling him. I’m not comparing our situations, I’m trying to make him see how much I love him and how truly in awe I am of him for coming out of that, being stronger for it.

“Baby, I wasn’t trying to compare our problems. You went through hell with your parents and brother. You should have never had to go through that if your parents were such assholes. Your brother loves you, I’m sure of it. Maybe he’s afraid to try and find you because he thinks you might not love him anymore. You even said after he got caught with Tyler that you didn’t really hang out with him anymore. He didn’t know it was your parents fault. If you want me to, I’ll help you look as much as I can. You deserve to find each other again and start to heal all this hurt that has been with you both since his disappearance.”

Lance looks at me through water filled eyes. It’s like he is day dreaming, not really looking at me, but looking right into my eyes. He then does something I am totally not expecting. He hugs me tight, almost too tight, and cries. I think getting all this off of his chest has let the flood gates open. It’s time that he heals, so that we can move on and find his brother so he can fully heal. I stand up with him still wrapped around me and sit on his lap. I don’t say anything; I let him get all out. I have a feeling he hasn’t let the emotions go since he was a kid.

I’m not sure how long we sit there, but by the time he’s done, he almost looks like a brand new man. He no longer looks like he’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders, and he looks lighter somehow.

“Amy, I’m not sure who I can thank for bringing you into my life, but I’m thanking every one of my lucky stars that you are mine. I’ve never told anyone that story. I felt like no one could understand what happened to me. Then you come along, and start breaking down the wall that I had built around my heart and you got to the real me. I never thought this would happen, but I’m so extremely thankful that it has. I want to give you something real quick.”

He gets up, and realizes that we are both still naked from our little roll around the couch. He smirks at me, and I start to feel the desire pool between my thighs again. God, this man does crazy things to me.

He walks over to where his jacket is and pulls something out of the pocket. He comes back and sits next to me on the couch. He looks at me for a moment before revealing a red velvet box. I start to panic. I’m not ready to be married again and I thought he understood that.

“Amy, Babe, calm down. This is not what you think it is. I mean yes it’s a ring, but it’s not the type of ring you think it is. This is a promise ring. I know that you love me and I love you, and if you choose to wear this ring, it’s a promise that someday, when the time is right, I will ask for your hand in marriage that you will say yes. I’ve known for a while now that you are the one for me, but I also know you’re not ready and I would never try and force you before you are ready. So Amy, my question to you is, do you promise to keep my heart with you at all times and never break it?”

He opens the box and inside is the most beautiful sapphire ring I have ever seen. It’s got a big blue stone in the middle and smaller light blue stones on either side. It’s definitely not a diamond which makes me breathe easier.

“Lance, I promise to keep your heart with me at all times and never break it. I will only wear this ring if you can promise me the same thing. You have the power to completely destroy me, and I would never survive you. So, if you can promise me the same thing, then yes I promise to wear this ring as a place holder until we are ready to get married.”

He nods slightly, he’s getting choked up again. I never knew he was such an emotional guy. He starts to place the ring on my right hand, and I stop him.

“Babe, I said that it was a place holder for the real thing and so I think it should go on the left, don’t you?”

“I couldn’t agree with you more, sweetheart.”

He places the ring on my left hand and I stare at it for a moment. This is different than anything I have ever worn before. It’s simple yet it’s not all at the same time.

“As much as I hate to break up what we’ve got going on here, I think we need to get you packed to move in with me,” he says and winks at me, breaking the moment and making me laugh. We get up, get dressed, and finish packing up my clothes. I’m leaving the furniture here because I’m thinking of making it a rental. I’ve always loved this place and can’t bear to get rid of it yet.

Within two hours we’ve got all my stuff in boxes, and somehow or another Lance’s truck got here. So we load up the boxes, and I follow him home. Home, I have to say I love the sound of that.

~**~

Sadly, today is the day that I have to head back to my hometown for a job. I’m not looking forward to it, and have put it off for as long as I can, lying in Lance’s arms.

“Amy, you have to go. You know if you really didn’t want to I wouldn’t make you work ever again, but you love your job so we need to get out of bed and get dressed. You’ve been laying here looking at me for the past hour. You were supposed to be on the road about an hour and half ago. Come on, I’ll make you some food before you go. What does my baby and baby momma want today?”

I punch him in arm for that because he knows how much I hate being called that. He laughs and gets out of bed, throwing on his boxers. We both sleep naked since usually we are having sex before bed anyways so what’s the point? I lay in bed for a little bit longer until the smell of bacon drifts into the room. My belly starts to growl so I get up and throw Lance’s shirt from last night over my head before padding my way into the kitchen.

I stand in the doorway and watch him cook. He moves with such grace around the kitchen, and if he ever heard me say that then he’d probably punish me for it. Hmm…maybe I should tell him. Our bedroom play consists of all kinds of interesting things. We do have regular sex, but then there are times when he gets in a mood that the little, okay big, box of sex toys come out. I must say that I love seeing that box come out. I never knew that I would like such things, but oh holy hell, I do. He turns around and looks at me with such desire that I have to press my legs together from the pressure.

He walks over to me and kisses me with so much passion I have to hold onto his arms to stay upright. He finally pulls away and I whimper at the loss of contact.

“I have a feeling I know what was going through your head over here so I had to come kiss you. Now, sadly, we don’t have time for the box, but how about a quickie against the wall?”

Before I have a chance to open my mouth to say anything his mouth crashes onto mine. He reaches down, never breaking the kiss, and picks me under by the back of my knees, sending me up in the air before I know what hits me. Suddenly, he thrusts into me nice and hard. I’m not going to last long, and from the feel of it, he isn’t either. He releases my mouth, and moves down to my jaw and down my neck. I’m moaning so loud, I almost don’t recognize my own sounds. I’m getting close, so close, and he lets go with one hand, bringing it down between my legs, and rubbing circles on my clit, and that’s all it takes. I scream his name as the orgasm pulses through my body. It’s not too long after that that he finishes himself. We are both standing here, well he’s standing, I’m still against the wall.

“Holy shit, Amy. That was incredible. I think I’m really going to like this wall now.”

I laugh at him and tell him to put me down so I can go clean myself up. He of course doesn’t listen to me and carries me to the bathroom, where he cleans me and himself up. As he carries me, I ask him about the food, and he says me he turned off the stove.

Back in the kitchen I go back to watching him cook and he hands me a cup of decaf coffee. That was one of the fights that we have had since I moved in. He knows how much I love coffee, and he won’t let me have it because he ‘read somewhere’ that it’s bad for the baby. He will only let me have decaf now. I can’t wait to get out of town to hit up a Starbucks, although I’m sure he’s got spies in Franklin, looking out for me.

Before I know it, it’s time to hit the road. My eyes start to fill with tears as I think of how I won’t be here for the next month. I told my boss when I had to be home for my next doctor’s appointment. She was happy for me and told me to let her know if I needed anything else.

“Amy, don’t cry. I promise this month will fly by. I’m going back to actual work, the time will go by faster than you think and you’ll be back in my arms again. Besides, you know I’m going to be making trips to see you. There’s no way in hell I’m going a month without sex.” I roll my eyes at that. “Seriously though, if you ever feel like you’re really starting to miss me at night, go outside and look at the moon and stars and know that I’m looking up at the same sky and thinking of you too. Then you go back inside and call me or FaceTime me. I’m going to do everything I can to make this month go by as fast as humanly possible.”

Hearing those words about the sky makes the tears that were trapped fall down my face. He is so much more that I would’ve ever expected him to be. He is the most loving man I could have asked for.