Broken Lives (2 page)

“
I don’t know, maybe he
thought she was out of town.” I take a drink of my coffee and
ponder her words. It was getting very serious last
night. 

“
What are you going to do?”
she asks, taking a sip of her coffee. 

“
What choice do I have? He’s
married, and that goes against everything that I believe
in.” 

We finish off the pot of
coffee and talk about James’ birthday party coming up next week.
It’s a welcome distraction, and it’s hard to believe my little boy
will be five on March 8
^th
. We name a few places where
we can have his party, but I’ll let James decide. I’m certain he’ll
pick Chuck E. Cheese. I look at the clock and it’s 8:11 am. I also
look out the window, thinking that Alec should be here any minute
now to get his car. He also owns a truck, but I mostly see him in
his car. 

“
I hope he comes while I’m
here because I’m going to kill him,” Brooke says, as she walks to
the sink to rinse out her coffee mug. 

“
Brooke, just kill him after
I leave to get James; I don’t want to be a witness.”

“
Ok, whatever you wish. I
have to go and get the boys ready.” 

“
Going someplace
fun?” 

“
The grocery store if you
call that fun,” she says, walking towards the front door. “Love ya,
Boo, and call me if you need me to whip
his
or
her
ass for you.” 

“
Forever and always, and
there will be no ass whipping today.” 

“
I’m available tomorrow,
too,” she says, closing the door. 

I shower and dress in a
hurry. I decide on a simple red and white gingham sundress with a
white sweater. I want to be gone before Alec arrives to get his
car. I leave his car keys on the small bistro table on the front
porch. I debate on leaving a note, but I have nothing to say to
him
. I love you and miss you and I really
wish you weren’t married.
Better off to not
say anything.

I drive to Max’s parents’ house to get James.
I try to forget about my broken heart, but the vision of the
dark-haired beauty is fresh in my mind. Danny and James are outside
playing football, and Cheryl is on the front porch, watching. I
smile as I see my little boy run across the yard carrying the
football. “Touchdown!” Danny yells, giving James a high five.

I park the car and get out, smiling at my
little boy. “Good boy, James. I saw that perfect touchdown you
made.” 

“
Momma,” he yells, and then
he runs over to me. 

I bend down so I can hug him. “I missed you
so, so much.”

“
I miss you, most.” He
smiles.

We walk up to the porch where Cheryl is now
standing. “How was he?” 

“
He was an angel, as
always.” Cheryl beams.

We all walk into the house and I can smell
Cheryl’s famous spice cake. “Oh, you’re baking. It smells
delicious.” My mouth waters, and I have to swallow.

“
It’s almost done. Another
hour or so, it’ll be ready to eat, if you want to
stay.” 

“
That would be nice, but
only if you are sure.” 

“
Don’t be silly and we still
need to talk about James’ birthday party.”

“
Come on, James. Let’s get
washed up,” Danny yells from the hallway restroom. 

“
Coming, granddad.” James
skips down the hall and his skipping reminds me of
Raelynn. 

“
How was your date last
night, Emma? He sure seems like a nice young man.” 

“
Thank you, Cheryl. It was
very nice.”
Until his wife showed
up
. I won’t tell her that part. I’m afraid
I’ll start crying and won’t stop. “Do you want to help plan James’
birthday party?” I ask, hoping to change the
subject. 

“
We would love to. Let me
get a tablet and a pen.” 

While she is gone, I look for my phone and I
realize I left it on the nightstand at home. James runs down the
hallway and sits beside me. I ruffle his blond hair. “Are you ready
for your birthday party?” I ask.

“
Yep.” 

“
Excuse me?” I ask, looking
down at him.

“
Sorry, yes,
momma.” 

Cheryl returns from the other room, and says,
“I found a pen and a notebook. Come on, Danny. I don’t want you to
miss it.” 

We sit around the table and
just as I had suspected, James wants his party at Chuck E. Cheese.
Danny offers to have the party at their house and even have a
bounce house. Danny tells James he can invite all the kids in his
class. I am pleasantly surprised that James agrees to have the
party at his grandparents’ house, instead of Chuck E. Cheese. He
loves the game room and the pizza at Chuck E. Cheese.
He must love his grandparents
more. 

“
Come on, slugger, let’s go
play some baseball while momma and grandma figure out the
menu.”

Once Danny and James are outside, I double
check with Cheryl to make sure they really want to open up their
beautiful home to a bunch of five-year-olds, and they do. We
discuss the menu, drinks, and decorations for the party. This is a
welcome distraction from my heartache. After everything is planned,
we sit outside on the lanai and have our cake and coffee. James
tells me about his slumber party with his granddad and grandma. I
smile at his innocent little face. My baby will be five next week.
It is hard to believe.

“
What theme do you want for
your party this year, James?” 

“
Ninjas, please, momma, and
I want Briley and Braden and Rae to come.” 

My hearts skips a beat when I hear Raelynn’s
name. 

“
Is Rae someone he goes to
school with?” 

“
Raelynn is Alec’s
six-year-old daughter.” 

“
Oh, we didn’t know he had a
daughter. We would love to meet her,” Cheryl says as she takes a
drink of her coffee.

“
Grandma, she’s a ninja,”
James says, as he scoots further back into his seat.

“
Oh my, a ninja. Now that is
something.” 

I explain that she also takes taekwondo. I
help with the cleanup, and then James and I head home. First, we
stop by the grocery store and get what we need for the week. “What
would you like for dinner tonight, James?” 

“
Tacos sound good,
momma.” 

“
Yes, James. I think it
sounds like a good choice for dinner.” 

James and I drive home and I am surprised to
see Alec’s car still sitting in the driveway.

“
Look, momma, Rae and Alec
are here.” 

I look at James, who is pointing to the front
porch. I slowly look over to the front porch and Alec is holding a
sleeping Rea in his arms. He looks exhausted with dark circles
under his eyes. My stomach turns at the thought of him making love
to his wife all night.

I look over at my son and say, “James, when
we get in the house, I want you to go straight to your
room.” 

“
But,
momma.” 

“
Do you hear me? I need to
speak with Alec about some adult stuff.” 

“
Yes,
momma.” 

I get out of the car and grab as many grocery
bags as I can from the trunk of my car and walk slowly to the
porch. I look at the ground, although I want to look at Alec. My
heart breaks a little just thinking about the talk that is about to
transpire.

“
Hi, Alec,” James says, a
little too happily. 

“
Hi, James. Hello, Emma,”
Alec says. 

“
Alec.” That is all I say as
I unlock the door. I place the groceries on the table and look at
James. 

“
I’m going,” he says,
walking to his room. 

“
James, it’s just for a few
minutes and then we’ll fix dinner.” 

“
Yay, tacos,” he says,
excitedly. “Can Raelynn and Alec stay?” 

“
We’ll see.” I walk to the
porch and look at Alec who is standing holding Rae. “I’m surprised
to see you here.” 

“
We need to
talk.” 

“
Really? About what?” I ask,
walking off the porch to get the rest of the groceries.

I look behind me and he is in the house. I
continue to walk to my car and I soon hear footsteps behind me.
When I look back, Alec is running to catch up to me.

“
I laid Raelynn down on the
couch — we need to talk.” 

“
Look,
Alec…” 

“
Baby, I’m not leaving here
until we talk.” 

I open the trunk of my car and he reaches in
and grabs the rest of the groceries. My heart breaks a little when
he called me ‘Baby.’ I have never had a pet name before. Max used
to call me Em, and I thought that was sweet enough. I close the
trunk of the car and stand there.

Alec walks towards the house and looks behind
him, “We’re not talking out here.” He holds the door open and waits
for me. 

I know him well enough to know that if he
wants something, he’ll get it. We walk in the house and I look in
on Raelynn; she is sound asleep. I also check on James. He is
sitting on the bed, coloring.

“
Are you doing all right?” I
ask. 

“
I’m hungry,
momma.”

“
Just let me put the
groceries away, and I’ll start dinner.” 

I walk into the bedroom to get a throw
blanket to cover Raelynn up with. As I walk past the kitchen, I see
Alec is putting the groceries away. Once I cover Raelynn up, I
brush her hair away from her face and just look at her. A tear
falls onto my cheek as I think of how much I will miss her. I bend
over and kiss her before going into the kitchen.

Alec is putting the rest of the items away
when I get in there. “Leave the hamburger out; we are having tacos
for dinner.”

“
Emma, we need to talk, but
I need to have your undivided attention. This may take a while for
me to say everything I should have already said.”

“
I honestly don’t think we
have anything to talk about. I have a son who is hungry and you
have a wife waiting for you to return home with her daughter,” I
say as I walk over to wash my hands.

“
Ouch, I deserve
that.”

He reaches down and gets a pan out for the
hamburger. “Emma, look at me.” I open the pack of hamburger and
ignore his statement.

“
Baby, I said to look at
me.” 

I turn around and look at the wall behind
him. He slowly walks over to me. “Emma, I said to look at me.”

He is wearing jeans and a blue button up with
a gray zip-up hooded sweatshirt. His hair is messy, he is unshaven,
and his dark circles under his eyes are even darker than before. He
has stress lines in the middle of his forehead that I seldom see.
He stands in front of me and lifts my chin so I am looking up at
him. I am wearing sandals and I curse myself for not wearing heels.
I hate when there is so much of a height difference between us. It
makes me feel inferior to him. I always wear heels when we are
together, but today, I was with James.

“
God, you’re beautiful,” he
says, looking from one eye to the other. 

“
Alec,
don’t.” 

“
Emma, do you honestly think
for one minute that I could hurt you?” 

“
Alec, you have a wife
and…” 

“
Answer me, Emma. Do you
honestly feel in your heart that I would ever hurt you? If you can
honestly answer yes to that, I will walk out that door and never
return, I give you my word on that. Do you really believe that I
could ever hurt you?” 

I think about what he says
and he has never hurt me before. What did Max say to me in my
dream?
“Sometimes you have to listen with
your heart and sometimes you just have to just listen.”
My heart tells me Alec would never hurt me, but I
know what I saw. He’s married, for God’s sake. 

“
Emma?” 

I look at him and he looks so sad. I have to
look away from him. “No, but you’re married. Alec, and that changes
everything. And that is what hurts.” 

“
I understand that, and
Emma, I never meant to hurt you or to mislead you. We’ll have
dinner and then we’ll talk. Maybe then you’ll be able to understand
where I am coming from.” 

“
Momma, are the tacos done?”
James asks. 

Alec backs away and I look
at my hungry boy. “Momma’s cooking now; do you want to
help?” 


And
just like that, my first and main priority in my life comes into
view. 

“
No, thank you. I want to
play with Raelynn.” 

“
James, let’s go and see if
Rae’s awake.” Alec puts his hand on James’ shoulder and leads him
into the living room. 

I watch as they both leave the room. I start
cooking the hamburger and get the tomatoes, cheese, and lettuce
cut. Alec walks into the room; although I don’t see him, I can feel
his presence. As I continue to chop the tomatoes, I say, “I really
don’t think there is anything you can say that will change
anything.”

“
If you still feel that way
after we talk, then I’ll leave. My life has many gray areas, Emma.
What is black and white for others isn’t like that for me. If you
can’t understand that after we talk, you’ll never have to see
Raelynn and me again.”