Broken Rules (17 page)

 “Have you had any time to yourself? Any time
to explore or relax?” Alex was genuinely concerned. She could hear the
exhaustion and indifference in his voice. The man she was talking to was very
different than the happy-go-lucky man she had met only a few weeks prior.

He chuckled. “Any downtime, they want Kimberly and
me together. So it’s not exactly relaxing.”

 “I’ve seen some of the pictures.” Alex
admitted.

 “Alexandra, I’ve told you, it’s all fake.
You have to know that.”

 “I know, Marco. It’s still hard to see you
with another woman.” Alex paused, embarrassed that she revealed that, that she
sounded clingy or presumptuous. “I mean, not that we’re exclusive or anything.
I mean, if you want to see other people, you know, it’s not like we’ve talked
about that. But if you do, and I totally get that you probably do, then maybe
we shouldn’t —“

Marco cut her off from continuing to ramble,
“Alexandra, stop it. I don’t want anyone else. I didn’t think I had to say
that, I thought you’d just know that. Have I not proven to you that I’m not
like other men? That I’m not like other actors?”

 “Marco, we hardly know each other. We’ve
only spent a few days together. You can’t expect me to—“

Again, he cut her off, “I can’t expect you to
what? To trust me? Yes, Alexandra, I can. And I do.” The edge and anger in his
voice reminded her that he was so much more than a pretty face. They were
reminders that he was sensitive and caring and emotional, all qualities that
were great for bringing out emotion on screen, but were not match for the rest
of the machine that was the industry.

Regardless, the time apart already had Alex
feeling like perhaps whatever they shared was a fleeting, temporary fling. It
was hard for her to hold onto the feeling that she had on the island. “Marco,
we were together for a few days, and now you’re gone for two weeks. There’s no
way you can know someone in such a short amount of time. There just isn’t.”

 “Are you saying you don’t trust me,
Alexandra?” Alex hated that they were having this conversation over the phone.
Well, she hated that they were having it at all.

 “Marco, I do trust you.” and she did. She
felt like a chump for admitting it, because in the back of her mind she knew it
was more likely than not that she’d be proved wrong. But she did trust him. “I
just don’t like the circumstances.” She paused. “If you saw pictures of me out
with another man, how would you feel?”

 “That’s different, Alexandra.”

And she knew it was, but she still asked, “how?”

 “Because, the pictures of me with Kimberly
are all to help publicize our movie. If I saw pictures of you with another man,
it wouldn’t be publicity.”

 “I know, Marco. We just… I don’t know. So
much happened so quickly, and now, it feels like it stopped just as quickly.”

 “I know,
amor
. We should have talked
before I left.”

 “What would you have said?” her voice
suddenly smaller than usual, afraid to hear what his answer would be.

 “Can you wait until I’m back? I want to tell
you in person. I don’t like having these types of conversations over the
phone.” He sounded so sincere, yet Alex’s mind couldn’t help but go to a bad
place.

 “Of course, Marco. Let’s talk when you get
back.” Alex couldn’t keep herself from sounding deflated, defeated.

 “Don’t be sad,
Corazon
. I’ll be back
soon.”

 “Ok, I have to go.” Alex said, which was the
truth, but she couldn’t bear continuing this conversation.

 “
Ciao, mi amor.
”

 “Bye, Marco.” And as she hung up, Alex
couldn’t help but think that saying goodbye to him then might be saying goodbye
to him forever.

Alex was the first to arrive at the restaurant.
She was 20 minutes early, not because she was so eager for the date, she just
had to get out of her house. The longer she stayed there, the more depressed
she got about Marco. She was surprised at just how much she was feeling for
this man, a man she barely knew and someone who was exactly what she wasn’t
looking for: An actor; younger; someone who admitted he was losing control and
wanted to exert it on her; and someone who was so much in the public eye that
there were cover stories about him. If someone had told Alex that’s who she
would be falling for, she would have told them they were crazy. Of course, that
wasn’t the whole story or the whole Marco. She had seen a side to him, or many
sides really, that proved he was so much more than those things. But she
couldn’t ignore what she didn’t want. And after such an intense beginning,
having so much time apart was 180 degrees from what they’d had.

So, Alex found herself at the bar with a margarita
on the rocks. The bartender was cute, flashing her his million-dollar smile,
and Alex couldn’t help but smile back. It was so rare that she went out, that
when men paid attention to her, she was always surprised. But she had put some
effort into her outfit, which too was surprising. She realized that she
couldn’t go out on a Friday night in her usual jeans, tank top and tennis
shoes. And after looking in her closet, she realized that was pretty much all
she had. So she actually went shopping. She didn’t want to look too eager, but
it was a Friday night, so she put on a sleeveless jersey knit black dress with
heels. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, she wore her
hair down. She actually looked like a woman rather than her typical tomboy
self.

 “Oh my god, I almost didn’t recognize you!
You look amazing, Alex!” Sam said as she walked up and gave Alex a hug. “Wait,
that came out all wrong. You know you always look amazing…” they both laughed.

Alex finished Sam’s sentence, “but tonight I
actually look like a girl?”

Sam shrugged, “Sorry. But I don’t think I’ve ever
seen you in anything other than jeans. And I’ve definitely never seen your hair
down. And, wow, where have you been to get a tan like that?”

 “There’s a story to the tan…” Alex said with
a shit-eating grin that she just couldn’t stifle. The tequila was starting to
hit her already.

 “Oh, this sounds good!” Sam sat down and
ordered herself a martini.

Alex giggled, “But I don’t think I can tell you
about it just yet, not with our dates on their way.”

 “Is this a guy-story, Alex? Are you seeing
someone?”

 “Yes, and I think, I’m not sure. God, it’s
so complicated.”

 “Well, I know a thing or two about
complicated relationships.” They shared a laugh. Sam and Laurent’s relationship
had seen more than its fair share of drama. It took Sam a long time to accept
Laurent into her life, and even when she did, it took her even longer to be
comfortable with the fact that he was her client. In fact, if anyone could
understand Alex’s concerns about Marco, at least as far as they related to her
career, it would be Sam.

 “So, um don’t take this the wrong way, but
then why are you here? I mean, out on a date?”

Alex shook her head, took a deep breath and let
out an even deeper exhale and then shrugged her shoulders before she could
string her thoughts together. Even then, she didn’t really know.

 “Because, I don’t even know what’s going on
with us, and he’s out of town and we shouldn’t even be together, and, I don’t
know, I think part of me needs a distraction. I need to see if what I feel for
Marco is different than what I feel around someone like James.”

Sam’s voice hushed, “Marco? As in Marco Flores?”

Alex’s face flushed bright red, another huge grin
spread across her face and she just nodded.

 “Oh my.” Sam said and took a healthy sip of
her martini. “Alex, he’s gorgeous. And so young! And what about your rule?”

 “Exactly!” Alex said indignantly, like it
was someone else’s fault.

Alex threw her hands up in the air, feigning
drama, “Down the drain.” They both laughed. Then Alex got serious. “Please
don’t say anything, Sam. I don’t even know what we have. We were on a shoot,
together 24/7 and, oh, I don’t know, it was all just so intense. And now he’s
on a publicity tour for two weeks, so I’ve been trying to figure it out… and
here I am, out on a date. God, what a mess.”

 “Damn, I wish it were just us girls tonight,
I have so many questions!”

 “
Cheri
, you’re lucky I love you so
much. Otherwise, I’d be offended.” Laurent said, having walked up at that exact
moment, standing right behind Sam, this time making Sam blush. He leaned down
to kiss her and then whispered so that only Sam could hear, “I cannot wait to
punish you for that, Samantha.” Sam’s blush simply burned hotter as she grinned
up at him.

 “You must be Alex.” Laurent said as he held
out his hand. Alex could see why Sam was so head over heels in love with him.
It wasn’t just that he was handsome, it was the confidence he exuded. And his
French accent didn’t hurt either.

 “It’s so good to meet you, Laurent. Sam’s
told me a lot about you.” Alex said as she shook his hand. His eyebrow went up
upon hearing that.

 “And she hasn’t told me much about you,
Alex. So I too have many questions.” They all shared a laugh, at which point,
James arrived.

 “Well this is a good sign, everyone’s
laughing already.” James said as he shook Laurent’s hand, clapping him on the
back. Then he leaned in to give Sam a kiss on the cheek, “Good to see you,
Sam.” And then leaned to give Alex a kiss on the cheek as well, “And I’m really
glad to see you, Alex.”

Alex couldn’t help but smile and blush, all eyes
on her. “It’s good to see you too, James.” She said a little breathier than
usual. Suddenly, she was nervous. James was a good looking man. Confident.
Strong. He was a director after all, and Alex knew that to execute that type of
creative vision, to stick to your guns and tell everyone from actors to studio
heads what to do, well, she knew a weak person couldn’t do that job.

The hostess came over and led them to their table.
As Alex slipped off the bar stool, James put his hand on the small of her back,
sending shivers throughout her body. She wasn’t sure if those shivers were
nerves or excitement, but that simple touch said a lot to her. He was confident
enough to think it ok to lead her with his hand. He kept it there until they
got to the table, and then pulled out her chair for her. When he removed his
hand, Alex found that she missed it. Oh, God, what was happening to her? How
could she enjoy the touch of another man after what she had just experienced
with Marco?

 “Alex?” James asked. Alex was obviously
having one of her little conversations with herself.

Flushing again, “oh, yeah, sorry, I think that
margarita hit me a little hard.”

 “Does alcohol always make you talk to
yourself?” he teased.

 “The voices in my head just get a little
louder, that’s all.”

Alex was awash in emotions. She was both
surprised, and feeling guilty that she was flirting with someone other than
Marco. And not just flirting, but enjoying it. She wondered if Marco had simply
awoken something that had been dormant for so long. That, perhaps it wasn’t
him, his family and the islands, but rather it was something inside of her that
was now bubbling up to the surface.

From their brief conversation at the bar, it was
clear to Sam that her friend needed time to gather her thoughts. She redirected
the conversation, allowing Alex to exhale as Sam asked casually, “so, James,
you just got back from shooting for two months in Romania?”

Alex smiled at Sam, grateful that the attention
was off of her while James recounted production in Romania. As he talked, Alex
couldn’t help but compare him to Marco. Whereas Marco didn’t take himself
seriously at all, it was clear that James did. James wasn’t a bad man, but he
wasn’t Marco. Unfortunately, that didn’t prevent Alex from feeling something
for him. In her current state, she wasn’t sure what it was. With Marco, Alex
felt safe. Excited, but safe. Even just this brief interaction with James, Alex
felt unsettled. She couldn’t be sure if it was anxiety or excitement, but there
was something about James that kept her interested.

It didn’t help that Marco was out of town, or
that, just as fast as their relationship had developed, that’s how quickly it
stalled because of his trip. It had gone from 0 to 60 and then back to 0,
giving Alex what felt like emotional whiplash.

As she was reflecting, she was half listening to
James talk. She knew it wasn’t fair to him, not being 100% present or comparing
his every move, word, every little bit of his personality to Marco’s. If she
couldn’t be there mentally, she should have just said no to the date in the
first place. So she tried to focus, and be there, with James, Sam and Laurent,
rather than in her head with Marco.

Every now and then, Alex would see Laurent stroke
Sam’s hand, or put his hand on her thigh. A couple times, she just saw him
looking at her like she was the only woman in the room. Like he cherished her.
Alex smiled at Sam and couldn’t help but be reminded of what Patricia whispered
to her when they said their goodbyes. Was that the way Marco looked at her?