Broken Series (35 page)

17

Gabby

He’s a father.
The thought repeated in my head during my trip back to Maine, the flight long and annoying. I sat next to a woman who was older and had a penchant for talking her head off. I tried to be polite, but she wouldn’t shut up. Eventually, I pretended to be asleep, my head lolled against the window, and she got the message. I kept my eyes closed, but inside, I was wide awake.

I didn’t understand it at all, but I knew, immediately, that Wolfe wasn’t unfaithful to me. The little girl who called him
Daddy
was at least four or five, and Wolfe and I had been together for just over three years. There was no denying that Katie was his child. With her silver eyes and dark hair, she was nearly the spitting image of him. I wondered silently if he was back together with Katie’s mom and if that’s why he returned to Florida.

His reply to my presence had been startling, since really, there was little to no reaction. It had been my intention to tell him about the pregnancy, but it seemed like he already had a lot of his plate. Whatever the situation was with Katie, Wolfe was out of my life. I accepted it even as tears slipped from my eyes to trail down my cheeks on the plane. I swiped at the furiously, gritting my teeth against the formidable pain that seeped into my heart and tore it apart.

The plane landed without a hitch, something I was grateful for, and Mallory and Luke awaited me at the airport. I dropped my bags and ran to Mallory, losing myself in her embrace. Luke picked up my duffel and absently rubbed my back. When the hiccups started, I had to take deep breaths to calm myself.

They led me out to Mallory’s new SUV, tucking me into the back. Mallory climbed in the back with me and I was surprised to find Baker sitting in the passenger seat. Luke got into drive, and I figured now was as good a time as any. These were my closest friend, the people I loved most in the world.

“I’m pregnant.”

No one said anything at first. We were still in the parking garage and they were stunned. No one asked who the father was; they already knew.

Mallory hugged me. “Gabby, that’s great.”

“Congrats,” Luke and Baker said from the front seat, their voices unsure if a congratulatory attitude was necessary.

I gulped. “I’m alone for this, guys. All alone.”

“Wolfe didn’t offer to help?” Mallory looked shocked.

“I didn’t exactly tell him.”

Luke turned around to look at me. “What do you mean you didn’t tell him?” His voice was angry.

“It’s complicated,” I muttered, trying not to let myself break down again.

“Complicated or not, he deserves to know, dammit. I thought you were going to Florida to try to get him back?”

“I was,” I got out before he interrupted me again.

“Fuck that, Gabby. I’m happy for you and this baby, but Wolfe is a damn good guy and he shouldn’t be left out of the situation just because you’re too much of a chicken to tell him,” Luke shouted.

Mallory put a hand on Luke’s arm, the gesture calming him. I held it together until Baker looked at me, his voice deadly calm.

“He does deserve to know, but what made you change your mind about telling him?”

I blew out a breath in the warmth of the SUV. “He has a daughter.”

“You already know it’s a girl? Seems a little early to me,” Mallory said with a confused look.

“No, he
has
a daughter, like from before he and I were together. I don’t know the whole story, but I talked to his sister, told her I was pregnant, and she wondered aloud if now was the right time to tell him. I didn’t know what she meant at first, but then little Katie came running out of the Chuck E. Cheese, throwing her arms around his neck and calling him
Daddy
. My heart broke and I couldn’t tell him.” I took a deep breath. “So, yeah, I was a fucking chicken and I’m not sorry. Obviously, he has bigger problems,” I huffed, anger replacing the overwhelming sadness I’d been feeling.

Mallory was the first to speak after another full minute of silence. “Wolfe has a daughter.”

Luke looked worried. “I get it, Gabby, I really do. But if I know Wolfe, he had to have not known about his little girl for him to just get around to telling you about it. I doubt he would have hidden that from you during your marriage. So I hope you didn’t get too upset with him.”

“I didn’t, not really. I freaked out, but that was when I was alone in my rental car, in the airport car rental lot. Then I calmed down, got on the plane, and decided not to tell him right now. He’s got too much going on and I don’t want to spook him.” It was true, mostly.

I wanted Wolfe to want to be with me, but it was obvious he had been dealt a shitty hand recently, and I didn’t want to add to it. My pregnancy was going to shock him, I think, and I didn’t want him to be angry with me, especially since it was so close to him getting in touch with Katie.

I believed Luke was right, though. There was no way Wolfe would have hidden a child from me during our marriage. He was too honest, too open about everything. He would have told me. Now that we were divorced, though, he apparently felt no pull to tell me anything anymore. We hadn’t even texted in weeks, which, during our marriage, was something we did on a daily basis.

I missed him so much. The way he made me laugh, the way he held me close at night, I missed everything about him. And being pregnant, my emotions were rolling high, which meant I was even more susceptible to tears and craziness. I leaned back against the seat, relaxing while my friends drifted into a companionable silence as Luke drove us home.

I woke up when Luke stopped in front of my house, the house I’d lived with Wolfe, where we made so many memories. Mallory helped me get my stuff into the house, one of her famous looks keeping Luke and Baker safe in the SUV. She dropped everything in my bedroom and led me to the couch.

“Are you going to be okay?” she asked, concern evident in her eyes.

“I’ll be fine, Mal. I promise,” I told her, not entirely sure of myself.

“If you need anything at all, just call or text me, okay?”

“I will. You’re a great friend. I’m glad you came back from Boston,” I said, feeling weepy and grateful for my friend.

She smiled. “I am too. I found my happily ever after here, and I know, deep in my soul, that you will, too. It just takes time to see the full picture,” she explained.

I nodded but silently disagreed. I was stuck in a rut now, my plans and dreams ruined the day Wolfe went through with the divorce.

“Okay, be safe and don’t be afraid to call, day or night,” she said again, hugging me and then leaving the house.

Once I was alone, I went into my bedroom, crawled under the covers, and cried, letting go of all the heartache. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore, until tears refused to fall, until I was completely dried up. And then, in the stillness, the loneliness of the house, I fell asleep.

I was walking up a hill, almost to full-term pregnancy. I was lost and alone, feeling frightened and worried over the life of my child. I kept a hand on my wide belly while I made it up the hill. When I crested the top, my water broke. I looked for someone, anyone to help, but I was utterly alone.

As the contractions started, I slowly made my way to sitting in the grass on the hill. I took deep breaths, trying to mentally control the spasms that wracked my body. It was painful, but the most dominant emotion in my mind was fear. This unborn child and I were hardly safe out in the wilderness. I leaned back, closing my eyes, and when I opened them, the sun was setting, the magnificent colors meshing together in the sky. Reds and oranges and purples and pinks all came together to create an image so beautiful, it took my breath away.

“Gabby!” I heard someone yell.

Looking toward the bottom of the hill, I saw Wolfe, running to me. His hands were outstretched and he looked as worried as I felt. But seeing him brought a calming sense of joy to me. I relaxed, smiling at him.

“Daddy!” I heard next. Wolfe was halfway up the hill but he paused to look back. Behind him, at the base of the hill, was Katie. She looked worried, her silvery eyes wide with innocence and fear.

Wolfe glanced back at me, caught up in the pain of a contraction, and I saw the indecision in his eyes. He wanted to come to me, but Katie was important to him, too. With a gulp, he gave me a sad wave and then raced down the hill, picking Katie up and then starting back up the hill. His eyes were fierce, letting me know that I mattered to him, too.

Just as he neared the top, a volcano erupted nearby and huge amounts of lava fell onto the hill, landing between the two of them and me. Wolfe stopped short, just barely missing the flowing lava. Instead of making a path down the hill, though, the magma flowed sideways, forming a circle around the top of the hill, effectively cutting me off from Wolfe.

It was too wide for him to jump over, especially with Katie in his arms, and Wolfe’s eyes met mine. His sadness was heart-wrenching, and I mimicked it. Tears slipped from my eyes; gasps replaced my attempt at steady breathing. I stared into Wolfe’s eyes and we both realized, in that instant, that this was the end for us.

His eyes flew skyward and I followed his gaze. Above me was a hurling, fiery rock. There was no time for me to move, to even attempt to get out of the way. I heard a massive roar from Wolfe. He set Katie down safely and leapt over the moat of lava, his feet barely touching the grass on the other side. Just as he was about to reach me, the rock hit us.

I woke up screaming. I sat up, the scream still sounding from my throat, and clutched the blanket to my chest. My breathing was labored, the dream so real. I sat there for a minute, waiting for my breathing to calm.

Pregnancy dreams were a pain in the ass, I decided. Once I was breathing normally, I decided to just lay back down and let myself assess the dream as best I could. Obviously, Wolfe wasn’t going to choose to be with me and our new baby, or maybe that was just my subconscious feelings about it. The truth was, I had no idea where Wolfe and I stood. He didn’t know about the baby yet, and I was sure he would want to be involved, at least somewhat, in the raising of his child. But that didn’t mean I would be included in the situation. He was more likely to ignore me completely and focus all of his attention on our child.

The thought was worrisome, but I told myself it was okay, that I would survive, just as I had for the last year, dealing with so many issues. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, just as Mallory sent me a text.

Everything good?

I wanted to say no, everything was
not
good, but Mallory had been through enough of her own shit in the past year, too, which meant I needed to continue to be strong.

Everything’s great!

It only took twenty seconds for her to reply:

Liar.

I didn’t argue; she was right. So I just ignored the text and got up. The sudden urge to pee reminded me of the little peanut I had to take care of. From that point on, I decided, it was me and Peanut against the world.

18

Wolfe

Court was a pain in my ass, and Dianne’s parents wanted to keep Katie based on some bullshit, but my lawyer managed to get the judge to make his decision right away, and lucky for me, it was in my favor. As of noontime, Katie was fully under my custody. It was like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, even as more responsibility was dished onto my plate. After years of thinking I wasn’t so sure about having children, I realized how much a child could mean to me.

And Katie was my redemption. She restored my belief that having children was the next logical step, and even though I had little to do with her personable attitude and easygoing personality, she was mine now. I’d never let her go, either.

While Katie was important to me, I also wanted to get Gabby back, whatever it took. If she couldn’t accept my daughter, then I would let her go, but I knew Gabby too well; she wouldn’t deny me because of Katie. She might refuse to get back with me because of the fact that she hated me, but that was something entirely different. She wouldn’t discard Katie, I was sure of it.

And now that Katie was securely mine, I plotted our trip to Maine. Katie was worried about making friends in a new town.

“What if they don’t like me?” she worried aloud from the backseat of my SUV, referencing her new school.

I smiled, ready to reassure her. “They will love you, baby girl. But don’t you worry about that right now. You won’t start school for at least two weeks while we get all your paperwork together, and then they will absolutely love you. I promise.”

I watched her in the rearview mirror, saw as a smile lit up her eyes. She might be insecure about moving, but she trusted me, something I never expected so soon.

“Are Annie and Austin moving, too?” she asked.

“I don’t think so,” I said. “They live here and Auntie Mandi isn’t going to move. It’s too cold in Maine for her.”

“I think it’s too hot here,” she groaned, which prompted me to turn up the air-conditioning. She leaned closer to the vent and breathed in the cool air.

I tried not to laugh at her antics, but it was a near thing. I drove straight to my sister’s house, where I planned for us to say our goodbyes. When I pulled into her driveway, Dianne’s parents were waiting for us. Mandi was outside, talking to them, heatedly.

“Katie, will you do exactly what I say?” I asked my little girl.

“Sure,” she said, seemingly uninterested in her grandparents.

“I want you to go in the house with Auntie Mandi and not speak to your grandparents,” I directed, waiting for her to get upset.

She surprised me. “Sure. They get really grumpy a lot, so I don’t want to do something to make them mad.”

I gulped. “Hold on.” I stopped her and turned around to look at her innocent face with eyes that mirrored my own. “What do they do when they get angry?”

Katie looked at her hands for a minute. “I’m not supposed to tell.”

Rage built up inside me, but I managed to keep my voice even. “It’s okay, baby. You can tell me.”

“Grampa spanks me a lot. And Grammy slapped my face, too,” she said, as if it was nothing. “But it was my fault.”

“Baby, it is never,
never
your fault, and I promise you, they won’t ever hurt you again,” I told her.

Katie’s eyes lit up again. “Thanks, Daddy.”

With that, we got out of the SUV and I held her hand while we walked over to where Mandi was arguing with Dianne’s parents. I tucked Katie’s hand into Mandi’s.

“Take her inside.” I didn’t leave room for discussion and Mandi immediately turned her attention to my daughter, taking her in the house.

“You only got her by a fluke in the system. You’re not qualified to be a father!” Dianne’s mother, Irene, yelled.

Dianne’s father, Donald, continued the tirade for his wife. “You don’t deserve her! She’s going to grow up to be a whore like your ex-wife!”

Their insults continued while Mandi and Katie walked to the front door. I let the comments slide, but only because I knew my little girl could hear everything and would likely remember this day. Once they were through it and the door clicked into place, my entire demeanor changed.

I stood up to my full height, a threat in and of itself, especially considering Donald was barely five-foot-nine. I stepped toward him and he finally shut up, realizing the predicament he was in.

“I’m only going to say this once, and then the two of you are out of our lives for good,” I started.

“We get to say goodbye to our granddaughter,” Irene huffed, apparently not getting the message.

“No, you don’t. In fact, you’ll be lucky if you ever see that little girl again. You should count yourselves lucky I don’t report you both, for hitting a child.”

“It was discipline! We didn’t do anything wrong,” Irene argued.

“No, discipline is taking away a toy, or making a child stand in the corner. Slapping her face, or spanking her ass, repeatedly, is
not
proper discipline for a
five-year-old
. So I suggest you both get the hell off this piece of property and never come back. Don’t try to contact my daughter until she’s an adult, and she sure as hell won’t be contacting you. Go!” I demanded, my voice getting louder with each word I spoke, until at the end, I was yelling at them.

They both shrunk back as I spoke and then yelled at them, but neither of them said a word. Slowly, they turned back to their tiny car and climbed in it, both still silent. It wasn’t until after they pulled out of the drive that I let myself release the breath I’d been holding. I thought for sure they would push, but I was pleasantly surprised by their actions. Maybe they would leave Katie and me alone for the rest of our lives.
Doubt it.

At the very least, it was a step in the right direction. Getting Katie away from her grandparents, both of whom she didn’t seem too fond of, was the best option for my daughter.
My daughter
. It was strange to think about, but that little girl was mine, and I was never letting her go.

I went inside the house to find Mandi consoling Katie in the kitchen.

“I don’t want them to hurt my daddy!” she cried.

My heart melted. “They didn’t hurt me.”

She looked up, her eyes bright and filled with tears. She smiled and then ran to me, throwing her arms around my neck when I bent down to her level. She hit me so hard, I almost fell backward. I laughed and she kissed my cheek.

“I love you, Daddy.”

Her words were simple and heartfelt but they cut me to my core. A lump formed in my throat even as my heart swelled with pride. This little girl already had me wrapped around her little finger and I loved every second of it.

“I love you too.”

She hugged my neck again and then walked away with a smile to say goodbye to her cousins and auntie. I watched, enamored by her presence, as she promised her cousins that they could come visit at our new house, which, she declared, had enough bedrooms for all of them to live there with us forever. It was adorable.

Even Mandi had tears in her eyes as she came to stand next to me, tucking herself under my shoulder with an arm around my waist. “Don’t leave,” she begged me.

“You know I have to. There’s too much trouble here, and Gabby is in Maine,” I reminded her.

“Gabby’s a lucky woman, to have a guy like you, Wolfe. Where the hell is my knight in shining armor?” she asked, wistful.

I gave her a sarcastic look. “He’s out there, baby sister. And I’m going to officially extend Katie’s invitation to Maine. Our house will always be big enough for you guys, too.”

She looked thoughtful for a minute. “This place is all the twins have ever known,” she explained, looking around her home. “But I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I can ask,” I said, turning so that I could hug her properly. I gave her a squeeze and said, “Love you.”

“I love you too, big brother. We’ll miss you guys.”

She pulled away only when she felt Katie tugging on her shirt. “I’ll miss you, Auntie Mandi,” she said to my sister, who broke down.

Mandi went to her knees to wrap her arms around my child, squeezing her so hard, I thought Katie might burst. She whispered something into her aunt’s ear and then they both laughed.

“What?” I demanded to know.

“Katie told me she was going to keep an eye on you for me,” Mandi said, looking up at me with a twinkle in her eye.

I laughed along, but I knew I would miss my sister and her children much more than I anticipated. Leaving them was hard, but Christmas had passed and we were ready to move on with our lives. Katie and I left the house hand in hand and I helped her get strapped into her car seat.

“You ready, baby girl?” I asked once I was in the driver’s seat.

“Let’s do this!” she squealed.

I was nervous, but with Katie’s determination, maybe we could win Gabby’s heart and be a real family.

I was ready to start over with both of them.