Broken Vows (Domestic Discipline Romance) (29 page)

If her children were a little more hyperactive and energetic than usual, she shrugged it off, as it was Christmastime. She wanted their memories to be happy ones. She did discover small clusters of grapes, tangerines, and crackers disappeared as quickly as the candy and cookies, so she substituted those for sweets. It made for a strange looking tree, but they did not care.

Their evening entertainment was watching old Christmas movies—cartoons for the children and classics for the adults. Mila and Kevin joined them some evenings, other evenings they stayed at her place as part of Kevin's renovations included a fifty-inch flat screen.

Skype had become a routine with Josh's parents, and his brothers and sisters. Plans were in progress for the big family reunion at Vail in February, and everyone was coming.

Josh and Jenny explained to Emmy the concept of giving away a chosen gift. They had taken her shopping and let her select a toy she wanted but she would not keep. Instead, she would give it to a less fortunate child. They let her pick one for Adam too. They had put the gifts in a collection box at their church, along with donations of food.

They had discussed and agreed to the five present rule, in theory. In actuality, it had been hard for both Josh and Jenny to stick to it. Still, Christmas morning was less lavish than usual. However, it did not seem to dampen the spirits of Emmie and Adam. They got into the spirit quickly enough, ripping and tearing through the packages. Adam did not seem particularly interested in his toys after the fun of tearing off the brightly colored paper. When all the excitement was over, they found him playing with the crumpled wads of paper and the empty boxes.

They had noticed how Emmie loved playing with her little dishes, what she called her Mommy toys. Josh spent hours with Kevin's help, building her a miniature kitchen set, and even more hours painting it. It was a condensed child-sized version of the kitchen in the guesthouse. They had specifically built it to fit into an alcove just past the kitchen where he removed a small desk. Emmie could play safely while out of harm's way from the real dangers in a kitchen. Their daughter had made a dozen trips up and down the stairs from her shared bedroom to bring down all her Mommy toys. She spent hours putting everything away in her miniature kitchen.

Josh's gifts to his wife were of a more personal nature. He gave her a simple necklace with two hearts to represent their children. He gave her a sizable gift certificate to Julia Scarlett's craft store for art supplies, and a gift certificate to the salon she liked in Durango. He also gave Jenny several presents to open later in the privacy of their bedroom.

Jenny's gifts to her husband included an art piece she made especially for his office, and a
La Perla
lingerie gift that sent his pulse racing. She also gave him a gift certificate for a ski shop in Vail to use when they were there in February. Her most creative gift to him, though, was the return of his watch. She had spent days tracking down the Rolex he had won in college and sacrificed to try get them out of debt. She knew what the watch represented to him and hated he had felt forced to sell it. She called every jewelry store and pawn shop in Waterbury. She finally found it in an exclusive estate jewelry store and repurchased it for him. It had nearly wiped out all the money she had earned from her artwork so far but was worth it to see the look of pure delight on his face.

Mila spent Christmas morning with her sister and brother-in-law. Kevin came by mid-morning and she celebrated a second time with him. Kevin said he wanted to take her to his family dinner, but with the amount of people there, it might be overwhelming for both her and Little Kevin. For once, they were in total agreement. She agreed to visit his family while Jenny and Josh were in Montrose for Josh's big presentation. She had met some of his family members briefly after she had the baby, and she had liked them.

Jenny tried to call her mother, but her calls went straight through to voicemail, on both her mother's cell and home phone. Either Denise was still away on her trip or she was angry with her daughter, refusing to take her calls. It was bothersome to Jenny, but she had finally realized she could not change her mother. Denise would be Denise regardless of what Jenny did. Jenny could not allow her mother's negativity to affect her life and happiness.

Josh and Jenny sat cuddled together in the darkness looking at their little tree with its glowing colored lights.

"This is our
Christmas Story
moment," Jenny said referencing one of their favorite seasonal movies.

"It was a good day," said Josh glancing out the window. "The one day it should have snowed, it didn't. Other than that, it was perfect."

"What happens when the house is finished?" Jenny asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Where do we go?" Jenny asked turning to him. "I love it so much here. Will we move to Montrose so you can be closer to Peak Designs?

Josh gave a sigh and looked into Jenny's worried and fearful eyes. He had planned and schemed, but he could no longer hide the facts in the face of Jenny's increasing anxiety.

"We stay here."

"As the caretakers?"

"No, as the owners," Josh admitted.

Jenny turned to face him, "Owners?"

"Owners," Josh repeated. "Sit back, sweetheart. I have a wild and nearly unbelievable tale to tell you."

Jenny did not sit back, Josh sounded serious. She crossed her legs in a half-lotus pose and faced him. He took her hands in his telling her everything. She never interrupted. She let him talk and explain while different emotions played over her face. Shock, surprise, incredulity, anger—he saw them all. Then calm settled over her, which worried him more.

"Say something," Josh said.

Jenny looked at him with anger in her eyes. She slowly got to her feet, began to walk away, and then turned back to stop him when he rose. "I need time to think. Don't follow me!"

Josh waited and waited. He paced for a while, and then listened outside their bedroom door. He would not invade her space after she requested time to think. There was sometimes a need to invade her privacy, but this was not one of those times. He heard no sounds of crying, no sounds of muttering or fuming, which worried him. Jenny stewed on things, she let problems build, stewed some more, and then exploded, usually at him. Had he let it go too long? Should he have told her even while she was still struggling to get out from under her mother's influence? He didn't know, and it was too late to change anything. He had made his decisions and had to live with the consequences. He went back to pacing the floor.

Jenny sat in the middle of their bed trying to calm herself. Her mind was going in too many directions at once. Her emotions were out of control, but the one she kept coming back to was hurt. Josh had known for
six months
. He had held onto his secret while she worried about bills and having enough to pay for groceries. For over half a year, he had not trusted her.

She sat still for a long time before sliding off the bed to start, and complete, a calming yoga routine in the quiet confines of their bedroom. A full routine was a luxury she rarely managed. She was always busy with the children, taking care of her family, working on her art. Physical workouts in their bedroom usually constituted lovemaking. Hours later, Jenny lay prone on the carpet. Suddenly, she had a light-bulb moment and she slowly looked around the room with new eyes. This was not their furniture, yet it was exactly what she would have selected, as was the bedding and the carpet. In fact, the entire guesthouse was newly furnished and decorated in her favorite colors and styles while the rest of the property had been in a horrible mess. Instantly, she knew Josh had done this for her and for the comfort of their family. Yes, he had kept secrets, but now she was gaining some insight of his point of view.

Jenny silently returned downstairs in her bare feet. As she glanced at the hall clock, she realized she had been worrying and sulking alone for four hours. It did not seem possible. There was Josh slumped back against the couch cushions, hugging a throw pillow to his chest. That was so like him, always hugging something, usually her or their kids. For a child who had experienced abandonment and been in the foster-care system for his first ten years of life, he was a remarkably stable and loving man. His sat so still with his eyes closed. She reached out to touch him gently and he immediately leaped to his feet.

"Can you ever forgive me?" he whispered in a choked voice.

"Yes," Jenny said as he gathered her into his arms in a tight hug. "You did what you thought was best."

"I thought so then, but it doesn't make it right," Josh admitted.

"No, and I was upset." She pulled away slightly to look directly into his eyes. "I was especially angry because you didn't trust me."

"Jenny…"

"No, you had your say, now it's my turn," she said quietly. "You didn't trust me, which hurt and offended me. But, after I thought about it, I realized I didn't have a right to be hurt, not after all the hurtful things I have done in the past.

"You didn't trust me because of my history of lying. I dragged our marriage through hell for years, and for what reason. For the approval of a woman who will never love me unless there is a price tag attached to it. Have
you
forgiven
me
, Josh?"

"I love you."

"I know you love me," Jenny said. "I didn't ask if you loved me. I asked if you have forgiven me, which is different. I took us down the wrong path by talking you into moving to Waterbury. I piled lie upon lie, and debt upon debt, trying to buy my mother's love. I took money from her for the house down payment. I know you never entirely forgave me for doing so. I need to know if you have really forgiven me now."

"Yes, I have."

"Thank you. Six months ago, we had only begun to put the pieces of our marriage back together. Six months ago, I would have thought the money could solve all our problems even though it couldn't. I know I have apologized before, but I am truly sorry for dragging us into such a financial pit. I am sorry for lies and the deceptions.

"I am so glad we stepped back into our traditional roles. When you took over again as HOH, our lives began to turn around. I agreed you were completely in charge, so I have no right to challenge your decisions. You always make decisions based on what is best for both of us, not only yourself. I know you will do anything to keep our kids and me safe and protected.

"I have been so much happier in the last six months. Coming here was the right decision. You not telling me earlier about your inheritance was also the right decision. Our marriage is stronger than ever and I am a better person. You allowed me the time to find myself."

"Jenny, you were always there. You were overshadowed by your mother. I never realized exactly how strong of a hold she had on you until we moved to Waterbury. If I had seen it before then, I wouldn't have allowed the move. I have to accept blame for such a bad decision. I was not fulfilling my duty as HOH. Are we okay now?"

"Of course, we are okay. I am thrilled this happened for you. I can't believe your grandfather knew about you and still left you all alone to fend for yourself." Jenny smiled. "I do want a few changes though."

"Uh, oh," Josh groaned.

Jenny waggled her eyebrows at him. She giggled to tease him for a moment, and then she straightened. "This is serious."

"Okay."

"I am opening my own checking account." At his frown, she squeezed his hand. "I was financially responsible when I was only twenty before we married. I was poor and struggling, yet I had a checking account. I balanced the darn thing and lived on what I earned because I didn't have any choice." She laughed. "There was never more than two hundred dollars in my account, but I tracked every penny of it. I did not like doing it, but I did it anyway. You know I hate dealing with numbers. When we first got married, you took over the finances since you are stronger in math. You told me how much we had to spend and I stayed within budget because we had nothing to fall back on.

"We complain about my mother being spoiled, but you spoiled
me
, Josh. As our income grew, you allowed me to spend without taking any responsibility.

"The point is, I need to be responsible and accountable for money. I am responsible when it comes to the house and the kids and you. It is okay for you to continue to hold me accountable for the household budget. You love your financial sheets and your programs.

"However, I need to handle my own bank account. With my art selling at top dollar, I want to open a checking account and be solely responsible for it. If I go broke, I go broke. I won't be able to blame anyone except myself. I don't want you coming to my rescue, either. It begins and ends with me."

He listened, frowned, and asked, "My turn?"

She nodded yes.

"Can I remind you to balance your checking account?"

She nodded yes again.

"Can I set up spreadsheets to make it easier? It will be a business and you have to treat it as such. Can I review your numbers occasionally?"

Jenny frowned.

"Come on, Jen, it's me or an accountant," Josh coached. "You are so right-brained dominant, you could model for the type. You are creative, nurturing and loving, but you are not analytical. You not only hate math, you are lousy at it."

"Those old theories have been debunked for years," protested Jenny.

"I have the proof sitting in front of me."

"Damn those brain-study tests we took in college. It is not fair that you use a balance of right and left!"

"Hey, those studies paid for two semesters of college," Josh said. "They were worth it."

Jenny gave a sigh. "Okay, but only until I get the hang of it. Don't roll your eyes in disbelief, I intend to follow through. I have to set a good example for our daughter after all."

He grinned. "Now, setting a good example for Emmie is a great motivator. Are we okay with everything else?"

Jenny laughed. "I'm not stupid! What could be wrong with fifty-seven million dollars?"

"A lot, if you think we will spend it willy-nilly," Josh cautioned. "This," he said wagging a finger in the air indicating their surroundings, "this is way bigger than what we will ever need. If your art takes off, you should think about taking over Mila's area for a studio."

"Where is Mila going?" Jenny demanded indignantly.

"I thought she could come over here after we move into the main house. She would have more space."

"Oh, that does work out well," agreed Jenny falling back into his arms. "Wow, fifty-seven million dollars."

"Wow," Josh repeated. "It does take some getting used to. I will still keep you on a household budget until I am sure you can handle it, no more lost receipts, or large purchases without prior discussion. We had the rule earlier and I am reinstating it. No getting
the big head
and thinking you need cooks, and nannies, and maids."

Jenny laughed. "
The
big head
? Where did you learn such an expression?"

"Local charm, I guess," Josh admitted.

Jenny stretched out to put her feet on the coffee table and gave him a sidelong look. "Is our 'mystery boss' still making the final decisions?"

"Yes, you can bet a sore bottom on it," Josh teased.

"Including the decorating?" Jenny insisted. "It was supposed to be my part of this job."

"Ouch," Josh laughed and kissed her. "I know I have already lost that battle!"

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to leave the kids here with me?" Mila asked as she helped Jenny with last minute packing.

Jenny shook her head. "Josh and his friends—partners now—want all the families together. I think it's a good idea. I only know Paula, Brice's wife. They were like us, married before they were out of college. We didn't know each other very well then, but we liked each other. I haven't met Bill and Matt's wives yet. You can come with us."

"No, thanks," Mila laughed. "This is your deal, two adults and two kids in a hotel room for three days is not my idea of fun. I plan to enjoy quiet time with my Little Kevin."

"What about Big Kevin?" Jenny teased.

Mila smiled. "He will be around, I'm sure. He has a few jobs to finish so he can close out his books for this year. I also want to work on straightening out the books in the library. Whoever was in there rummaging through them messed with my system."

"Please be careful," Jenny exclaimed. "I know Kevin changed the locks, but be extra careful. I wish we could catch whoever is doing this."

"I'll be careful," Mila promised. "My guard dog will be here watching over me. I do not mean Buddy, either. Josh has already told me Kevin is staying in your house."

"He could stay with you and make it cozier," Jenny teased.

"Not yet," Mila said.

* * *

"It was a beautiful drive, but I wouldn't want to make it every day," Jenny exclaimed flopping on the bed.

Emmie climbed onto the bed beside her. "Sleepy, Mommy?"

"No, baby, getting my second wind," Jenny promised as Josh dropped Adam to his feet and rolled a large suitcase into the hotel room. "You drove the entire trip. I will get the rest of the luggage."

"Sit," Josh said. "You wrangled the kids for two hours. We have plenty of time for kid naps and adult rest before we meet for dinner at Brice's place." He went back out the door for another load.