Brothers In Law (4 page)

‘Haven't the faintest idea, my dear boy. Never come to this Court if I can help it. But it's something the old boy wants. No Scott Schedule, that's bad, isn't it? Well, what about it? Will you take a hundred and fifty?'

‘I think I'd better wait till Mr Grimes comes back,' said Roger.

‘Wait till he comes back? We'll be here all night. He's probably on his way to the House of Lords at the moment, just giving a friendly look in to the Court of Appeal on his way. He won't be back. Not on your life. No Scott Schedule, now I ask you!'

At that moment Roger heard with a mixture of relief and distaste a sound he recognized. It was Alec giving a loud suck.

‘Mr Grimes will be here in a minute. I've sent for him.'

‘What'd I better do?' whispered Roger.

‘Just hang on, sir,' said Alec. ‘Don't agree to anything.' Alec emphasized this last remark in the usual way.

Roger turned to his opponent.

‘Mr Grimes is on his way.'

‘I've heard that one before. Well – I hope he won't keep us all night. P'raps he's gone to fetch the Scott Schedule. You're a pupil, I suppose?'

‘Yes.'

‘How d'you like it?'

‘I only started today. I find it a bit hair-raising, I'm afraid.'

‘You'll soon get used to it with old Grimes. I wish he'd be quick. I'd like to go and have a cup of coffee. D'you know where he is as a matter of fact?'

‘He's doing an accident case before Mr Justice Nettlefold.'

‘Is he, by Jove? Well –
he
won't let him go.'

At that moment in Queen's Bench Court 6 Mr Grimes became aware that his junior clerk was making urgent signs to him. He was in the middle of cross-examining a witness.

‘I had no chance of avoiding the crash,' said the witness.

‘So that's what ye say, is it? We shall see,' said Mr Grimes. ‘We shall see.'

‘I wish you wouldn't make these comments,' said the judge. ‘I know they don't mean anything and that we may never see and that, as there isn't a jury, it doesn't much matter whether we do see or we don't, but cross-examination should be used for asking questions and asking questions only. You can make your comments when you address me.'

‘If your Ludship pleases. So ye couldn't avoid the accident, couldn't ye?'

‘No.'

‘Why didn't ye put on your brakes?'

‘I did.'

‘Oh, ye did, did ye? Then why didn't ye stop?'

‘I did.'

‘Oh, ye did, did ye? Then why did the accident happen?'

‘Because the plaintiff ran into me.'

‘Oh, he ran into ye, did he? I suggest ye ran into him.'

‘It was the other way round. The damage to the cars shows it.'

‘Oh, it does, does it? We shall see,' said Mr Grimes. ‘We shall see.'

‘Mr Grimes,' began the judge, but he was too late. Mr Grimes was on his way out.

A minute later he came, panting, into the Official Referee's Court.

‘At last,' said Featherstone.

‘I'm so sorry, my dear fellow,' said Mr Grimes. ‘So sorry to have kept ye. Now, what's it all about?'

‘The old boy wants us to settle.'

‘Oh, he does, does he? Well, that's simple enough, my dear fellow. You just pay and it's all over.'

‘I'll pay you something.'

‘That's very good of ye, my dear fellow, very good of ye. Ye've had all the work done and ye'll pay something! Ye wouldn't like us to build another house for ye as well?'

‘Well, you'll need to, I should think. This one's falling down already.'

‘Is it really, my dear fellow? Funny your clients are still living in it then.'

‘Come on, let's go outside. We've got to settle it somehow. The old boy isn't going to try it.'

The upshot of it all was that eventually the defendant agreed to pay Mr Grimes' client £300 and all his costs, and there was then a rush back to the other case, where they arrived just in time to find the judge rising for lunch.

‘Come on, my dear fellow,' said Mr Grimes. ‘Come and get a bite while there's time. So good of ye to have helped me. Thank ye so much.' He led Roger at a fast trot to the restaurant in the crypt at the Law Courts. There Mr Grimes helped himself to a plate of meat and salad, asked for a cup of coffee and took it to a marble-topped table which was no different from any others, except that it bore a notice: ‘The seats at this table, are reserved for Counsel from 12 o'clock until 2 o'clock.'

Roger felt very important sitting at such a table and even the ordinary nature of the food and the noise made by Mr Grimes in getting rid of his as fast as possible did not spoil his pleasure. Between the bites and swallows, Mr Grimes asked Roger if he thought he'd learned anything and how he liked his first morning. Before Roger could reply, he went on to criticize Queen's Bench Judges, Official Referees and his opponents in each of the cases, finally ending up his criticisms with the pronouncement: ‘But there you are, my dear fellow, they will do these things, they will do these things.'

Five minutes later they were off again, this time at only a very fast walking pace. They went to a place known as the ‘Bear Garden' where Mr Grimes had a summons to dispose of before a judicial officer called a Master. It was to be heard by Master Tiptree. Before they went into the Master's room, Mr Grimes was joined by Alec and the clerk from the solicitors instructing him. Mr Grimes greeted the clerk most affably and then proceeded to say something to him in a low voice. Roger could only catch that it began with: ‘I don't mind telling you, my dear fellow – ' but what he didn't mind telling him, Roger never heard. Fortunately they did not have to wait long and soon they were in front of Master Tiptree. Roger knew from his Bar examinations that various applications in the course of an action were made to a Master, but he only had a slight theoretical knowledge of such matters. A Master appearing in a question in an examination paper is very different from an actual live one sitting in his room.

‘This is an application for discovery of specific documents, Master,' began Mr Grimes.

‘Where's the affidavit?' asked the Master.

‘Oh, Master, before we come to the affidavit, I'd like to tell you something about the action.'

‘I dare say you would, Mr Grimes, but I want to see the affidavit.'

‘If you please, Master.'

Mr Grimes obtained a sheet of paper from the solicitor's clerk and handed it to the Master.

He glanced at it, threw it back at Mr Grimes and said: ‘What d'you call that, Mr Grimes?'

Mr Grimes looked at the offending document. ‘I'm so sorry, Master. It's the wrong affidavit.'

‘I am only too well aware of that, Mr Grimes. I want the right one.'

‘Here it is, Master. I'm so sorry.'

Mr Grimes handed another affidavit to the Master, who read it quickly.

‘This won't do, Mr Grimes. It doesn't say the alleged missing document relates to the matters in question.'

‘Oh, but Master, if you'll be good enough to look at the pleadings, you'll see it must be material.'

‘I dare say, Mr Grimes, but Order 31, Rule 19A is quite definite and has not been complied with.'

‘Oh, but Master–'

‘It's no good saying, “Oh, but Master,” Mr Grimes. You know as well as I do your affidavit is defective. D'you want an adjournment or shall I dismiss the summons?'

Mr Grimes' opponent then intervened.

‘Master, I ask you to refuse an adjournment and dismiss the summons.'

‘I dare say you do, but I'm not going to. You can have the costs thrown away.'

‘But Master–'

‘I've made up my mind. You can go to the judge if you don't like it. Now Mr Grimes, have you made up your mind?'

‘Yes, please, Master. I ask for an adjournment to put the affidavit in order.'

‘Very well.'

The Master started to write out his Order.

Mr Grimes whispered to Roger: ‘Just stay and take the Order, my dear fellow,' and without another word he was off towards Mr Justice Nettlefold's Court.

The Master wrote for a few moments. When he looked up he saw that Mr Grimes had gone.

‘Pupil?' he asked Roger.

‘Yes, Master.'

‘How long?'

‘Today.'

‘Order 31, Rule 19A mean anything to you?'

‘Not a thing, Master.'

‘I should look it up when you get back to chambers, if I were you. It's the only way to learn the practice. You can't learn it in a vacuum. But if you look up everything that happens, you'll get a reasonable knowledge of it in time.'

‘Thank you very much, Master.'

‘Not at all. Good luck to you.'

Roger left the Master's room with the solicitor's clerk. ‘Never heard Master Tiptree so agreeable,' said the clerk. ‘He threw a book at me once.'

With difficulty Roger found his way back to the Court. The judge was giving judgment in favour of Mr Grimes' client. No sooner was it over than there was a frantic dash back to chambers, where Mr Grimes had several conferences.

Charles and Roger went into the pupils' room together. Henry was there reading
The Times
.

‘Where's Peter?' asked Charles.

‘He went off to the Old Bailey,' said Henry. ‘Said building cases weren't in his line. Gosh!' he went on. ‘You don't mean to tell me Thursby got landed with it instead?'

‘He did,' said Charles, ‘but he's still breathing.'

‘Poor fellow,' said Henry. ‘Tell me about it in your own unexpurgated Billingsgate.'

Roger told him.

‘Well, well, well,' said Henry. ‘He wins one case and settles the other and, knowing Grimeyboy, his client won't have lost on the deal. What I say is
fiat justitia ruat Grimes
, or, as the poet says:

“
So justice be done,

Let Grimeyboy run.”'

 

Mrs Thursby, Roger's widowed mother, was, she hoped, making a cake when Roger arrived home after his first day as a pupil.

‘Darling, how nice,' she said. ‘You can give it a stir. I want to go and try on a new dress. Aunt Ethel sent it me. She's only worn it once. Just keep on stirring. I'm sure it'll be all right. Anyway, we can always give it to Mrs Rhodes. Oh, no, she doesn't come any more. Let me see, who is it now–'

‘Mother, darling,' said Roger, ‘I've had my first day in the Temple.'

‘Of course, darling, how silly of me. Did you enjoy it? I won't be a moment. Just keep on stirring.'

And Mrs Thursby went to her bedroom. She was a young forty-eight. She had lost her husband soon after Roger was born. For some reason that neither she nor Roger, after he grew up, could understand, she had never married again. She was attractive and kind and plenty of men have no objection to butterfly minds. Roger's father, who had been a man of the highest intelligence and intellectual capacity, had adored her. So did Roger.

He stirred the mixture in the pudding bowl and as he did so he went over in his mind all that had happened during the day. Now that he was safely home it gave him a considerable thrill to think he had actually spoken in Court. He must tell his mother, though she wouldn't really take in the significance. But he must tell Sally and Joy. Which first? He stopped stirring and went to the telephone. It was Joy's turn really, he supposed.

‘Joy – yes, it's me. Are you free this evening? I've quite a lot to tell you. Oh – what a shame. Can't you come and have a drink first? Yes, do, that'll be lovely. Come straight over. See you in ten minutes.'

He went back to the kitchen.

‘Roger,' called his mother, ‘do come and look.'

He went to her bedroom.

‘It's lovely, isn't it? And I did need one so badly. I can wear it for the Fotheringays. Don't you like it?'

‘I do, darling. D'you know I spoke in Court today?'

‘Did you really, darling? How very nice. What exactly did you say? Don't you like the way the skirt seems to come from nowhere?'

‘It suits you to a T.'

‘D'you really think so?'

‘Of course I do. I didn't actually say very much.'

‘No, of course not. They couldn't expect very much to begin with. I expect you'll say more tomorrow.'

‘Joy's coming round for a drink. You don't mind?'

‘Of course not. I think she's a sweet girl. It makes me look thinner, doesn't it?'

At last Joy arrived and Roger was able to tell someone all about his first day.

‘I think you're wonderful,' said Joy. ‘I should love to come and hear you. When can I?'

‘Well, of course, I don't know exactly when I shall be speaking again.'

‘Was it a murder case?'

‘Well – no, as a matter of fact.'

‘Breach of promise?'

‘As a matter of fact, it was a building dispute.'

‘It sounds terribly dull. Weren't you bored?'

The one thing Roger had not been was bored.

‘You see, things which don't sound of interest to the layman are very interesting to lawyers.'

‘I don't think I should terribly care to hear a building dispute. All about houses and things. Still, I suppose you have to start somewhere. Must take time to work up to a murder case.'

‘Joy, dear, you don't work up to a murder case.'

‘But surely, Roger, you're wrong. I've always understood you start with silly things like debt collecting and business cases, like your building dispute, I suppose, and eventually work your way into real cases like murder and blackmail and divorce and so on. Anyway, what did you say? Did you make the jury cry? It must have been very clever of you if you did with a building dispute. But then you are so clever, Roger, that I wouldn't put it past you.'

‘They don't have juries with Official Referees.'

‘Sounds like football.'

‘Well, it isn't. An Official Referee is a judge. You call him “Your Honour”. He's very important. This one was called Sir Hugo Cramp.'

‘Well, what did you say to him?'

‘Well, among other things – I quoted a legal maxim to him. He thanked me very much.'

‘Did it win you your case?'

‘Well, it wasn't exactly my case.' He paused for a moment. Then very seriously he said: ‘Joy, d'you think I'll ever be any good? I was terribly frightened.'

‘You frightened? I can't believe it. You're pulling my leg.'

‘I'm not. Really, Joy, I'm not.'

‘What's frightening about it? You just get up and say what you want and then sit down.'

‘And suppose you don't know what to say?'

‘Then don't get up.'

‘But I had to.'

‘But I don't see why. It's a free country. Anyway, next time make certain what you want to say, get up and say it and sit down.'

‘You make it sound very simple.'

‘Well, Uncle Alfred's a solicitor. Which reminds me – I suppose he might send you a brief one day. Would you like that, Roger?'

‘Oh, Joy, it would be wonderful.'

‘What would you do if I get Uncle Alfred to send you a brief?'

‘What would you like me to do?'

‘There's something I'd like you not to do.'

‘What?'

‘Not see Sally.'

‘Oh,' said Roger, unhappily. ‘D'you think that's quite fair?'

‘It's just as you like. I'm sure Uncle Alfred has got lots of young men to send briefs to. He'll bear up.'

‘But, Joy dear, it's so difficult. And it wouldn't be fair to Sally.'

‘That's right, dear – always the little unselfish one, thinking of other people. You're too good for this world.'

‘Who are
you
going out with, anyway?'

‘A friend of mine.'

‘So I gathered. Do I know him?'

‘Who said it was a him?'

‘I did. Who is it?'

‘D'you want to know all that much?'

‘Not if you don't want to tell me.'

‘Then why ask me?'

‘Oh, Joy – don't let's quarrel. It's my first day at the Bar. And I want you to share it with me.'

‘I'd love to share it with you – but not with you and Sally.'

‘I rang you before her.'

‘You went out with her last night.'

‘How d'you know?'

‘Now I know you did. Oh, Roger, why can't we just be married and live happily ever after?'

‘We're so young, Joy. We don't any of us know our minds yet. I'd marry you both if I could.'

‘Thanks very much. P'raps you'd like power to add to our number. It's George Utterson as a matter of fact.'

‘That oaf.'

‘He's not in the least an oaf. He's going to be Prime Minister one of these days.
He's
not frightened to talk in public. I heard him at a meeting the other day. He was grand. They applauded like anything.' She stopped for a moment. Then much more softly she said, ‘Oh, Roger, if you'd give up Sally – I'd never see him again. I wouldn't even see him tonight.'