Building on Lies (28 page)

We ran into Joaquim first.

I’ll never forget the look in Joaquim’s eyes. It was the deepest hurt I’d ever seen in my life. I wanted to run to him, and hold him as tight as I could, make all the hurt and pain in his eyes disappear.

“ Nellie”, he said, pulling me aside. “ What the hell is this?”

My friends stood back, realizing this was something Joaquim and I needed to talk about alone.
“ Joaquim,
perdoname
”, I cried, so upset I slipped into Portuguese. “ Forgive me. I’m so so sorry”.

“ But I just don’t understand, Nellie”, he said, raggedly. “ What are these pictures? Since when are you and Channing Sutton…” He couldn’t even finish his sentence.

“ I’ve been seeing him since September”, I said, so low I could barely hear myself. “ I’m in love with him”.

“ But Nellie…he has a girlfriend”, Joaquim pointed out. “ And you’ve been hanging out with me”.

I told him everything. How Chan and I met, how we started seeing each other even though he was still dating Samantha. How we fell in love, but kept it a secret because he was scared of what his parents would do. How I’d hung out with Joaquim, even though I knew it was wrong to string him along. The reason Chan had shown up at the bowling alley time was because we’d fought. The pearls I’d worn at Winter Dance had been given to me by Chan. I told him everything I could, in a rush of words, tears and apologies. Joaquim’s suspicions had been right all along.

I thought Joaquim would be so angry he would never talk to me again. I was actually waiting for him to curse me out, and call me every name in the book. I expected all kinds of horrible things, but I never imagined Joaquim would be understanding.

He pulled me into his arms, and held me as I burst into tears again. He stroked my hair, and murmured softly in my ear.

“ It’s OK, Nellie.
Na chore.
Don’t cry. Everything will be OK”.

I pulled away from him, and looked at him in confusion. “ You don’t hate me?”

He looked away, his handsome face creased with emotion. “ I
am
upset, Nellie. I hate it you lied to me. But…Nellie, we’ve been friends forever. I know you. And I know if you wouldn’t hurt me on purpose. You’re a good person. If you say you’re in love with Channing, then I know you are”.

I was speechless. I realized then how unfair I’d been to Joaquim. I should have been honest with him from the start. Trusted him. Now, because of my dishonesty, I’d hurt him. And even though he was being kind about the situation, I was scared I’d possibly lost his respect and his trust, forever.

“ Can we ever be friends? Like before?”, I asked, praying he would say yes.

He smiled at me, and I thought my heart would burst with relief. “ We’ll always be friends, Nellie.
Pra sempre
. Forever”. He kissed the top of my head.

He frowned at me, though, and held my shoulders. “ Still, I don’t think Channing is right for you, Nellie. He’s obviously twisted. Only a real asshole would do this to a girl like you. To any girl, for matter!”

“ I don’t understand it either”, I said, and I started crying again. I ran my hands through my hair.

“ Nellie, you may say you love him but you need to forget that son of a bitch”, Joaquim continued angrily. “ And trust me, when I see him, I’m going to kick his ass!”

“ We’re looking for him now”, Ro said, approaching us. “ He’s going to have to explain what’s going on”.

We didn’t have to go to his locker to find him. Channing came striding toward me, his face looking even more furious than Ro and Joaquim’s together, if that were possible.

I couldn’t look at him. I was too frightened, too humiliated.

“ Nellie”, he said, softly, when he reached us. He tried to touch me, but Joaquim stood in his way.

“ Stay away from her, you lousy piece of shit!”, Joaquim spat, staring Chan down.

“ Get out of my way, or I swear I’ll smash your face in”, Chan growled. I’d never heard him sound so hostile. He was taller and stronger than Joaquim, but Joaquim was so angry he was practically shaking.

“ Do it. Try it”, Joaquim said, shoving Chan hard in the shoulder.

It would have erupted in a brawl if Ty hadn’t come bounding toward them. He stood in the middle, his arms outstretched, holding them apart.

“ Yo! Chill out!”, Ty said, firmly. “Both of you back off”.

“ I’ll back off when your brother gets down on his hands and knees and apologizes to Nellie!”, Joaquim shouted.

A crowd had gathered. I looked at Chan through my tears. Chan’s green eyes were narrowed, and his hands were balled into fists. If looks could kill, Joaquim would have been dead on the spot.

“ I don’t have to apologize for anything”, Chan said, through clenched teeth. “Let me talk to my girlfriend alone”.

“ Your girlfriend? Is how you treat your girlfriend? Putting these nasty pictures all over the place!”, Ro cried, her voice high and shrill.

“ Do you really believe that, Romina? That my brother would do something like this?”, Ty asked her, incredulously.

“ If not him, then who? ”, Ro snapped. She turned back to Chan. “ This was a really fucked up thing to do to Nellie. She loves you so much! All she ever does is talk about you! She gave up being with Joaquim to be with you. And this is how you pay her back?”

The crowd was getting larger. It seemed like everyone, A-kids and Cove kids, had gathered around to listen. I saw Bettina Grant, looking at us intently. She looked away when she saw me staring at her. She was with the other girl who was Samantha’s friend, Abby.

“ I’d never do this to you, Nellie”, Chan said to me. I was still standing behind Joaquim. Chan looked so wretched I couldn’t help it. I slowly approached him. He grabbed me so fast and so tight I nearly lost my balance. I buried my face in his chest. I wanted so badly to believe him.

“Chan this is the worst day of my life”, I whispered, looking up at him. “ I’m so embarrassed”.

“ Nellie, you have to believe me”, he said, wiping my tears away with his thumb. “ If I could make this all disappear, I would.”

“ The principal wants to see me”, I said, and I put my hand to my head. I could feel an intense headache coming on.

“ He wants to see me, too. But I’m not going to see him just yet. Not until I take care of this”. He turned to Joaquim, still holding me close. “Help me take these down”. Joaquim nodded, then started helping Ty and Channing grab the printouts off the lockers.

I went to the nurses office before I went to the see the principal. My headache was so bad by then she gave me permission to go home, after she got approval from my mother. I spoke briefly with my mom. She was on her cell phone.

“ Nellie, what’s going on? I got a call from your principal. He said he has an urgent matter to discuss with me”, she asked, worriedly. “ Is everything OK?”

I decided to be blunt with her. I’d rather she heard it from me than from anyone else. “ Someone put pictures of me and Chan having sex all over the school”.

“ What!”, my mother cried, so loud I almost dropped the receiver.

“ Can you give the nurse verbal permission to let me go home?”, I asked her, weakly. “ I’ll explain when I see you”.

“ OK, put her on. I‘ll be home as soon as I can”.

I handed the phone to the nurse. I was about leave when the nurse called me back. My mother had called back on the nurse’s line.

“ Nellie, I want you to go straight home. I don’t want you talking to the principal until I’m in the office with you. You don’t need to do this alone”, she said.

I was so grateful to have a mother so supportive I almost burst into tears again. But I didn’t. I just hung up, and went out of the office to tell Ro I was going home. Both she and Ana were waiting for me outside of the office. Em had gone to class. Chan, Joaquim and Ty had gone off to more of the pictures down. They had gone down to the main level of the school, where the pictures were more numerous.

“ You’re in no condition to drive”, Ro said, putting her hand on my forehead.

“ Ro, you drive her home, and I’ll follow you in my car”, Ana offered. “Nellie, don’t even go to the main office. Let’s just cut out. You can’t get in any more trouble than you already are!”.

I agreed, and we made our way out of the school from side door. Luckily, there weren’t any guards around. I suspected they’d been asked to take the pictures down as well.

“ It couldn’t have been one person who put all those pictures up”, Ana commented, as we walked hurriedly to the student parking lot. “ Not unless they sneak into the school, and spent the entire night tacking them up”.

“ I think you’re right”, Ro said. “ There were just too many up, all over the place, for it to have been one person”.

“ They’ll all be gone by tomorrow, Nellie, you’ll see”, Ana said comfortingly. “ And people will forget about it. Heck, I think they’re more shocked you’re seeing an A- boy than anything else!”

“ I’m just glad Joaquim wasn’t mad at her”, Ro said.

“ He’s an amazing friend”,I said, recalling how he’d stepped up to Chan when he thought Chan was responsible. “ Ro, remember when I told you I had a feeling we were being watched? Up at the cabin?”

Ro nodded. “ Yeah, you said you were so spooked out you could understand why some folks go camping at all in those mountains”.

“ What if it was Samantha I sensed up there? What if she was the one who did this? I saw Bettina Grant and that Abby girl today, but no Samantha. Don’t you think that’s odd?” I asked.

“ Everyone always says that girl is nuts”, Ana said. “ So, maybe you’re right”.

“ We have time to figure out who it might have been”, Ro said, but I could tell from her voice she was skeptical about it being Samantha. “For now, Nellie, you just need to rest”.

“ Ro, Chan wouldn’t do this to me”, I said. It would make me feel so much better if my best friend believed me. “ He loves me”.

“ Gosh, Nellie!”, Ro snapped, frustrated. “ He’s the same guy who got a girl pregnant at fifteen. The same guy who forced you to sneak around with him because he was still with his girlfriend. The guy you caught kissing his girlfriend at Winter Dance, and who didn’t bother to go after you when he saw how upset you were. And Ana here says she saw him just yesterday with Samantha. I just don’t know what to believe anymore!”

It sounded so awful when Ro put it way. I knew it wasn’t like that…there so many different emotions involved…but I couldn’t deny Chan didn’t sound like a great guy. Still, I just couldn’t believe Chan would be so cruel.

“ And anyway”, Ro continued, still angry, “ the only ones who knew about Chan’s workshop were you, me and Ty. How would Samantha know he was up there? And know you and Chan were going to hook up? How would she have been able to set up a video camera without you guys noticing?”

“ It wasn’t a video camera”, Ana said. “ Those pictures weren’t screen shots. They were too clear. It was a camera”.

“ A camera?”, Ro repeated.

Ana nodded. “ It’s not so crazy to think someone hid in the bushes to take those pics. All you need is a good camera, and a zoom lens. That’s how those paparazzi take sneaky shots of celebrities”.

Ana squeezed my shoulder. “ And from the looks of it, Nellie and Channing were kinda…into each other. They probably wouldn’t have noticed someone snapping pics of them”.

I blushed, and even Ro’s lips twitched.

“ Get in the car, Nellie. Let’s get you home. You need to rest”, Ro said.

We got to my house, Ro driving my car, and Ana following in hers. I kept my fingers pressed to my temples the whole way. My head was pounding.

When I got out of the car, I turned to my friends and gave them each an appreciative hug.

“ I don’t know what I’d do without you guys”, I said, gratefully.

“ Take some painkillers, and lie down”, Ana said, kissing my cheek.

“ And don’t worry. We’re going to do damage control”, Ro said, firmly. “ Even if it takes me all day I’m going to make sure there’s not one copy of those pictures left”.

“ Give us a call if you need anything”, Ana said.

Ro got into my car, and Ana in hers. They waved as they drove away back to school.

I opened my front door, and went to the kitchen. I drank a glass of water along with a Tylenol. Then I went upstairs to my room, and got into bed. My headache was a piercing sharp pain behind my eyes and the sides of my head.

But it was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I felt so ashamed, and humiliated, and yeah even a bit doubtful. I wanted desperately to believe Chan wasn’t behind the pictures. It was agonizing to think maybe, he’d cared nothing about what we’d shared, that he would embarrass me in front of everyone.

Maybe he was just as wacked out as Samantha, and that was what had kept them together. Maybe having to lose his child, and dealing with his tyrannical parents made him snap. How could I know? Maybe he just wasn’t the boy I thought he was.

My cell phone rang. I wanted to let it go to voice mail, but I picked it up in case it was Ro or my mother. It was Channing.

“ Hey”, I said, tiredly.

“ You’re home?” he asked softly.