Burdened (A Burdened Novel) (30 page)

Why does the feather have to be burning?
Why couldn’t it have just been a feather with missing pieces? It’s sad, and slightly depressing.

I walk back to my room
, and Nathan is still asleep. He has one of his arms thrown over his eyes, blocking the light from the sun, while the other rests on his stomach. I lay on the chaise, not wanting to disturb him by climbing back into bed. His clothes are thrown over it. I lay his shirt over me, getting high off his scent as I watch TV on mute.

Three thirty
-minute shows later, he is still asleep and I’m getting bored. Feeling hungry, I greet the kitchen. Cooking is not my thing, unless it involves opening a wrapper or making a sandwich. Sitting at the bar, I play with the fruit in the bowl as I eat an apple.

Tracey
.

Finally! I don’t answer him
, going back upstairs, and peek into my room.

What are you doing
? he asks suspiciously.

“Waiting
for you to wake up.” I walk over and straddle him so that I’m leaning over in his face. His arm is still over his eyes. “You’re tired.”

“I was. But I’m getting up now.”

“Umm, no you’re not.”

“I’m
going
to get up—when you get off of me,” he says harshly, but I can hear the joke in it.

I kiss his chest. “Well
, when you say it like that.”

I start getting up
, and his arm quickly wraps around me, keeping me from moving. He looks at me through half-open eyes. “You are something beautiful to wake up to.” I smile.

His eyes widened as he looks at me
, and he moves me with him, sitting us up.

I know what he sees
. “Why is it on fire?” I ask quietly, feeling a little mortified.

“It’s…burdened.” He matches my quiet
, rubbing his finger over it. “We can take it away, but it will reappear when you get extremely angry.”

“
Sure, but not if you have to cut if off or something.”

He chuckles and kisses the
burning feather. I feel a cool breath. “There,” he says pulling back. “Did it hurt?” I give him a ‘get serious’ look. “Can I get in your shower?”

“Yes, but I don’t have any clothes for you.”

“I brought some clothes.” He points to a bag sitting under the chaise. Why hadn’t I noticed that?

“Yes, feel free.
The bathroom’s the next door past mine on the left. I’ll get you a towel and a toothbrush.”

“Thank you
,” he says, moving me from him, then picking up his bag, which now sits in front of him. I shake my head as he walks out of my bedroom.

Placing the towels and toothbrush on the counter in the bathroom
, I watch him turn on the water.

“Tracey, it’s rude to stare.”

“Oh hush!” I walk from the bathroom, closing the door. What’s rude is looking that good with restrictions!

I look in the mirror
that’s over my dresser to see if the feather is still there. To my enjoyment, it’s gone.
Good job, Nathan
, I say to myself.

What?

“Nothing. Mind your own business
.
”

You
are
my business.

“
Just hurry up,”
I’m like desperately needing you here
. Hearing his voice in my head makes me want him.

He comes out later, cleaned and clothed. “You want to do something today?”

“Like what?”

“We could go to
—” He reaches in his pocket, pulling out his phone. His face scrunches before he answer it. “Hello?” The person on the other end rambles, and he doesn’t say anything else before he hangs up.

“What’s going on?” I ask nervously.

“Scott told Glen, she freaked, and she’s gone.”

I jump up
, searching the room for my phone. I need to call her.

The front door bangs loudly.

“It’s Glen; I know it.” I start to leave the room, stopping in the doorway. “Could you, like, stay up here for a minute? She’d probably freak out, knowing you two are cousins.”

“I guess.” He walks over and lies across my bed.

I run downstairs to the door, opening it. Glen is standing there red-eyed, red-faced, and her hair needs a blow dryer and a flat iron. “Glen, what is wrong? And where have you been?”

“Tracey
, he hates me!”

“Who hates you?”

“Who else!?” She rolls her eyes. “He hates me. I just know it. He came to me, talking about how there are things about him I didn’t know, and since I wanted to be with him, he felt we should
talk
.”

She walks in the bathroom by our front door
, taking the whole role of toilet paper, and blows her nose. “What is wrong with me, huh? Why does he hate me so much?”

“Well
, what did he tell you, and why do you think he hates you?” I ask, following her closely.

“Because
, Cey! He came to me about him being some type of bad thing. I don’t know.” She throws her hands up in the air, shaking her head. “He was talking about how he took away my choices, and how I didn’t have to be with him if I didn’t want to.” She stops to blow her nose. “I don’t know, Tracey…but I
do
know it was a whole bunch of bullshit.”

Tears start rolling down her face. I don’t see her strange snowflake anymore. Scott probably took it away
, like Nathan did to mine.

“Okay
, Glen, calm down.” He tried to tell her and she wouldn’t even listen. As hard as it was for him to tell her, she couldn’t give him the benefit of the doubt to listen. And it’s not my place to provide her with any details. So what am I supposed to say?

She sniffs a few more times and wipes her eyes. “Glen, did you even listen to him?” She looks at me like I
’d lost it. “I’m only asking the question so I know how to help you. Can you calm down? No one is the bad guy here.”

“No
, I didn’t listen. He was lying, trying to find another way to push me off!” she half-yells, plopping down on the couch in our living room.

“Okay, don’t take this the wrong way.” She pierce
s her eyes at me. I choose my words carefully. “Scott is a nice guy—we both know that. And to be honest with you, Glen, he really loves you.” She starts to object and I put my hand out to stop her. “Just trust me—I know. I know he has a weird way of showing it, but he does.”

She’s not saying anything
, so I continue. “Just for a second, think about if some of the stuff he said
was
true.” Her eyebrows scrunch at my insinuation. “Just for a moment, think about how hard it may have been for him to tell you that stuff. Then think about how he would deal with it if you wouldn’t accept him.”

I move to sit next to her. “What if he wasn’t trying to push
you away but to tell you the truth—to bring you closer?” I pick up the roll of toilet paper, taking some off and handing it to her. “Because, by the way things look, you all don’t get along too well the majority of the time, although you all do want to be with each other.”

She takes the tissue and looks at me. “So what are you getting at?” she asks calmly.

“If you love him, maybe you should listen to what he has to say, instead of blowing him off like he was pushing you away.”

“What makes
you think I love him?”

“Come on
, Glen. What are we,
acquaintances
?”

“Yes!” she states factually. “Ever since you started being with his cousin.” She pauses
. “So let me ask you a question.” I nod. “If Nathan came to you saying something crazy like that, would
you
listen?”

“If Nathan told me the sky
was red, I would believe him, even when I walk outside and see that it is blue,” I say, looking at my hands.

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter. When you love and trust someone, you love them and trust them…no questions asked.”

She stares at me a while before she says
, “I should have listened to Scott first?”

“That probably would have been a good idea. You don’t even know what he had to tell you. Scott loves you
, Glen. He is a little weird about it, but know that he would give his life for you, even before you knew him well enough.”

“Okay, maybe you’re right. You want to come with me back to his house?”

“No. And by the way, is there anything you’re forgetting to tell me about you and Scott?”

She looks at me from the corner of her eye. “Why do you ask?”

“Just curious.”

Don’t meddle
, Tracey.

Not meddling is not fun.

Don’t. Plus, I want you to finish so I can tell you the sky is red and see if you believe me
.

From the guy who just told me not to meddle.

“Tracey, are you listening to me?”

“Yes, Glen.” No Glen.
Stop distracting me, Nathan.
“Look, I really think you should go to Scott and hear him out. Then kiss him. At least it will make you feel better.”

I stand up
, hoping she will do the same. She doesn’t. “What, are you in a hurry? Do you have something to do?” You would not ask me that question if you knew what was waiting for me upstairs.

Trying to not seem anxious
I ask, “Did you still want to talk?”

“I don’t know
. I’m just not ready to go over there yet. You just made me feel bad for being a jerk and not listening to him. And knowing that he loves me…well, he hasn’t even told me that he loves me.”

“Do you love him?” I don’t know what to say to get her out of here.

“Yes,” she says quietly, like she is answering herself.

“Well?”

“Do you love Nathan?” What is it with these two asking questions about me and Nathan? What do
we
have to do with
them
?

“Yes
,” I answer slowly, knowing more questions are to come.

She nods
, looking away from me. “So have you all, umm?”

I raise my eyebrow
s when she looks back at me. “What are you asking me, Glen, and why are you asking it?” I don’t like where this is going.

“Just answer the question. You know what I’m asking.”

I’ll answer her, then I’ll kick her out, because she will go on and on. She will carry on about this all day. Plus,
I
was about to ask her the same thing.

“Yes
,” I say quickly.

“When?”

“Recently.”

“Okay, details.”

“None.”

“Why?”

“Not. Telling.”

“
Boooo.”

“It’s time to go
, Glen.”

“Why?”

“Because I have comp—” The door knocks, cutting me off. Now who could this be?

Glen and I walk over to the door at the same time. She opens it
, and there’s Michael in all his not-giving-up glory. Damn. Not now!

“Michael? What are you doing here?” Glen asks in
a disgusted, yet surprised, voice.

“Hi to you too
, Glen. Tracey, I need to talk to you.”

“No
, Michael.”

“What
?! Why are you not surprised to see him?” Glen asks, even more surprised.

“He stopped by the other day. Nathan and I were here.
It was the day after the first time you and Scott stopped by.”

“Well
, aren’t you full of secrets? That would have been some juicy information that you left me out of,” Glen says with an attitude.

“Come on
, Glen, not right now. Don’t you think we both have enough going on?”

“Tracey, forget about that. Can I please talk to you?” Michael interjects.

“Michael, now is not a good time.”

“Well
, your new stud isn’t around, so it seems like a perfect time to me.” Little do you know.

“Michael, please don’t. I
’ve already told you I’m over you. You need to move on. I really don’t want to hurt you.”

Michael shakes his head roughly and walks through the door forcefully
, pushing back Glen and me. This is not going to end well.

I fall back against the floor
, and Glen’s pushed against the wall being smashed by the door.

“Tracey
, you—” he points his finger, “—are going to talk to me. You know you want to.” Anger is in his voice.

“No
, she won’t.” As I’m trying to get up, Nathan comes around to the foyer.