Burn for You (36 page)

“Sure, you’re long past being an adult. I’d say it’s time you acted like one.”

Unperturbed, probably too dim to realize he’d just been insulted, Graham tossed a towel at the bin, missing by several inches. “Yeah, well. Thing is, I always figured when it was time to settle down, it’d be her and me. So, if this isn’t the real deal, if you’re just chasin’ tail, it’s time to step aside.”

“And if I don’t?”

“Well, I’m afraid you don’t have much of a shot, bro. Vic’s been in love with me since we were kids.”

That was true. She’d said as much herself. She’d given up hope on Graham, but how would she feel now that she finally had his attention? Now that he’d finally woken up to the fact that the most wonderful woman in the world had been right in front of him for years.

Jason’s lungs felt like they were stuck in a vice, making it difficult to draw a full breath. “Well, I guess that’s Victoria’s choice to make then, isn’t it?”

“So that’s it? You’re not even going to put up a fight?”

“Victoria’s a big girl. She makes her own choices. I won’t stand in her way.”

Graham cocked his head to the side, studying Jason. “That’s real cool of you, man.”

Jason shrugged, refusing to let on that an inferno burned beneath his surface calm. He knew how this was going to go down. Victoria would choose Graham. She’d get the man she’d always wanted, and he’d be left behind again. Just like he always was. The damaged goods no one wanted.

Nobody settled for second best when presented with the thing they’d always desired.

“Tell you what,” Jason said. “Let’s cut to the chase. No use drawing out the suspense. I told Pete I’d run security for him when he makes his bank deposit tonight. While I’m gone, why don’t you ask Victoria what she wants? And may the best man win.”

A cocky grin spread across Graham’s face. “All right. You’re on.”

Both men exited the bathroom, but where Graham went back to the bar, Jason headed for the back door. It was better to leave.

He didn’t need to see what happened next.

* * *

Feeling warm and slightly euphoric, Victoria watched Jason’s broad-shouldered frame disappear into the men’s room and then turned her attention back to the others sitting at the table.

Her new friend Sandra stared at her, mouth hanging open.

“What?” Victoria asked.

Nick smiled, nudging his wife. “I told you so.”

“Told her what?” Victoria asked.

“He told me Jason was a goner, but I didn’t believe it until just now.”

“A goner? What do you mean?”

“Oh, girl. He is head over heels in love with you. You don’t see it?”

The warmth in her cheeks could’ve been from the beer she’d just finished or the warm brownie, but it wasn’t either of those things. It was Jason. It was the idea that even if he hadn’t been able to say the words yet, he might be saying it in other ways. And saying it loud enough that other people had taken notice.

She chatted with the other two couples for a few minutes, but Sandra was pregnant and fading fast, and Nick decided it was time to get her home and into bed. Shortly after that, Mac got called back in to work as the on-call detective and he and Emily made their exit as well, apologizing for leaving before Jason got back. She assured them she had plenty of friends to visit with and moved to an open stool at the bar.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Graham leaned over the bar, sending her his signature sex-god smile.

Four months ago that smile would have sustained her love for him for weeks. Now all she felt was disappointment. Disappointment because he wasn’t the one she wanted sitting next to her.

“Hey, Graham,” she said, swirling the last of her beer around in the glass. “What’s up?”

“Not much. Just wanted to come talk to the prettiest girl in the bar.”

She snorted. “I’m the only girl in the bar.”

“That’s true but the competition is still stiff.” Grinning he inclined his head toward the other end of the bar. “Take a look at Halverson down there. That’s one pretty man.”

“Right, but you didn’t say prettiest
person
. You said
girl
. And Halverson, though very beautiful, is not a girl. So, it’s still not much of a compliment you’ve paid me.”

She looked up when Graham made no response. His blue eyes stared at her intently.

“What?” she asked.

“You’re right. I haven’t paid you enough worthy compliments lately.”

Victoria glanced around the bar, suddenly wishing one of the other guys would join their conversation. Something was beginning to feel a little too private, a little too intimate about all this.

“Listen, Vic. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“Shoot.” She wasn’t sure she meant that in the
fire away
sense of the word either. More like
oh, crap
.

“Do you ever wonder about us?”

Not in the last few months, she hadn’t. But before that? Only every day. “What are you getting at, Graham?”

“You and me? We make sense, right?”

She froze, her glass suspended halfway to her mouth.

“I mean, we must because I always come back to you, don’t I?”

Sure. When it’s convenient for you.

When she didn’t respond, he continued. “I think it’s time we give in to the inevitable.”

“And the inevitable is…”

“That we belong together.”

Slowly, she set her glass down on the bar. “Graham, I don’t think you really want to be with me. I think maybe you’re just feeling lonely.”

“But Vic, we have history. We make sense.”

“Do we? Because it seems to me that if we made sense, we’d be together. But it never sticks.”

“I just don’t think I’ve been ready until now.”

“Really? Because you had no problem committing to Tabitha. You were ready for her a long time ago.” Seeing the hurt confusion on his face, she gentled her tone. “I don’t think you’ve ever had an issue with commitment, Graham. I think the issue was with me.”

His blue eyes widened. “Vic, that’s not true. You know I think you’re great.”

“A great friend, sure. But you and I both know that I’m not the girl for you.” She slid off the barstool.

“That’s not true.” He grabbed her arm when she started to walk away. “Victoria, I love you.”

There was no triumph in hearing his confession. Only sadness that it had taken her so long to see their relationship clearly. “No, you don’t. You like that I’ve always been there for you. I’m safe. Dependable. But you’re not in love with me. Sometimes I’m not sure you even like me.”

It was amazing, this clarity, this knowledge that all those years she’d secretly pined to be his one and only, she’d actually been better off without him. Graham didn’t love her. Not really. Not the way she wanted to be loved.

“Of course I like you.” The hurt in his voice tugged at her heart, but it didn’t change anything. “How can you think otherwise?”

She kept her tone gentle. “You hate my that’s-what-she-said jokes. You hate that I get competitive over board games. You don’t want to run with me because you hate that I’m faster—”

“Vic, you’re being silly. None of that shit really matters.”

“No, Graham. That’s the shit that matters most. I don’t want to be with someone who loves me in spite of those things. I want someone who appreciates me for those things. I want to be with someone who values me.”

“And you think Meadows values you?”

“I know he does.”

“Well, you might want to rethink that. If he valued you so much, would he have sent me out here to get you back?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I ran into him in the bathroom and asked him if it was serious between you two. And he basically gave me his blessing to pursue you. Does that sound like a guy who
values
you?”

Flopping back onto the stool, Victoria’s thoughts swirled and collided in her brain. She took a second to sort through the chaos. “What exactly did he say?”

“I asked him if he’d fight me for you, and he said you were a big girl, that you make your own choices.”

Choices. Oh, God.

It’d never been a secret how she’d felt. Jason knew Victoria had wanted Graham. And he was giving her the power to choose.

After years of tagging along after someone who’d held all the control in their relationship, Jason had done for her what Graham never had. He’d given her all the power. He’d stepped aside and let her decide what she wanted.

And she loved him all the more for it. Because how difficult must that have been for him—for the person who’d never belonged?

Jason had never been
chosen
. Preston’s mother had sent him back to Family Services. He’d run through a string of families and after his mother died, the distant relatives who’d adopted him had sent him off to boarding school. And if Victoria knew her man, he was fully expecting to be cast aside again.

She jumped off the stool again. “I have to go.”

“Go where?”

“I need to find him.” She needed to tell him that she chose him. That she would always choose him.

“He doesn’t love you, Vic.” Graham’s words pulled her up short. She stopped and turned.

“You don’t know that.”

“Has he ever said the words? Because I’m standing here, telling you that I love you. Has he ever said that?”

“No…not in so many words.” She raised her chin, trying to squash the doubts that rose up and took hold of her throat. She always had been good at seeing things that weren’t there, hadn’t she?

“So that’s it?” he asked. “You’re choosing him anyway? Over me?”

“Yes,” she said, trying for a confident tone she was no longer sure she felt. “I’m sorry, but I choose him.”

* * *

Jason held his breath, feeling like a total ass-hat for coming back. He knew—or at least he thought he’d known—what Victoria would say when Graham finally came up to scratch. And he’d wanted to be long gone when it happened too.

But like a stray dog, dying for some affection, he’d come slinking back after Pete had made his deposit.

He’d come in the rear entrance and stayed out of sight in the back hall, shamelessly eavesdropping as Graham confessed his love.

His last words hung in the air. “So that’s it? You’re choosing him anyway? Over me?”

Jason closed his eyes, tipping his head back against the wall. He couldn’t see her from where he was hidden, and he willed the other conversations going on between the firefighters to the background, focusing all of his attention on hearing Victoria’s answer.

“Yes. I’m sorry, but I choose him.”

Eyes stinging, Jason drew in a shaky breath.
Fuck
. He bit the inside of his cheek, trying to get himself under control.

He pushed away from the wall, ready to go after her, but before he had the chance, she rounded the corner and ran smack into his chest. His good arm went around her reflexively, preventing her from falling back on her ass.

“Jason!” she said, clearly surprised.

He wanted to say something, but words failed him.

“How much of that did you hear?” she asked.

“Enough,” he said.

She backed out of the circle of his hold and folded her arms over her middle. Was it his harsh tone that had her retreating? He hadn’t meant to sound terse, but dammit he was keeping it together by a thread here. What he really wanted was to back her up against this wall and bury himself inside her, but he held his passion in check. Barely.

He devoured her with his gaze instead and she fell back against the wall, eyes widening.

“The thing is…I did choose you, but…”

Ah, fuck. There was always a
but
. Of course there was. Some things were too good to be true.

“I need to know this is going somewhere,” she said, her eyes searching his face. “I’m not talking marriage. Or even I-love-yous. I just need to know that this is something…” Her voice dropped to a ragged whisper. “I need to know that I’m…something to you.”

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her none too gently into the women’s bathroom. This place was full of men, not too damn likely any of them would come in here. Besides, Pete was probably shooing the last of the stragglers out right now, having long since turned off the taps.

He positioned her in front of the mirror, so she was facing it, and he stood behind her, his chest pressed against her back. “What do you see?”

She caught his gaze in the reflection. “I see me. And you.”

Pressing his lips to her neck, he nuzzled her there until she sighed and dropped her head back on his shoulder. “Good. Now watch.”

He ran his left hand up her torso beneath her soft cotton t-shirt. He stopped for a moment to enjoy the firm roundness of her breasts then continued his way up and pulled the t-shirt over her head.

Catching her reflection in the mirror, he stopped breathing for the space of several heartbeats. She was so damned beautiful, her flat toned stomach, her small but firm tits encased in black lace, color high on her cheeks, lips ready for his kiss.

Not looking at their reflection, her gaze was locked on him, on his lips. “Don’t look at me,” he said, his voice hoarse as he skimmed his hand down her stomach and toyed with the fastening of her jeans. “Watch us.”

Using his bandaged hand, he took her by the chin and gently turned her face toward the mirror. “You want to know how I feel about you?” he whispered in her ear. “I
burn
for you. Every second I’m not with you, I’m thinking about how I can arrange to see you again. And when I’m finally with you? I’m thinking about how I can get closer to you.”

He slipped his hand into her panties and groaned when he found her hot and wet for him. “Dammit, Victoria. You want to know if you’re
something
to me? You’re the cool water—the only thing that eases this fire inside. You’re the most important
something
in my world.”

Kissing the soft spot of skin just under her ear, he drew circles over her center and reveled in the sound of her whimper.

“But those words mean nothing,” he said, returning his lips to her ear. “People say things all the time. They tell lies. They change their minds. If you want to know the truth, it’s in my actions. It’s in that mirror. If you want to know how I feel about you, Victoria, then you need to watch.”